• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Regidar


irresistible

E
Source

One never chooses their fears. Luna soon learns this when she ventures to seek the Door of Nightmares located deep within the Crystal Empire Palace. Believing she's ready to see what lies within her own mind, she takes the tentative journey to the door...


Collab with Art Inspired, with some help from Shortskirtsandexplosions.

Set before the end of season 3.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 40 )

This story was written by Art Inspire and I about two years ago, right after the season 3 premier. With a little help from SS&E, we finished the majority of it in a night. It was left abandoned, however, until Art recently finished it.

Let's see how it holds up to time.

It's always nice to read a story about the two royal sisters :pinkiesmile:

Chrystal

I spy a letter that doesn't belong here...in the description.

I was figuring she see NMM but this was just as good.

5405051 mm, thank you. I'll fix that up.

Gotta love that door. What do you thing your fears would be? Let Regi and I know in the comments, guys!

5405580
Probably seeing myself. Sometimes tis not nice seeing what you've become if you're oblivious to it.

She galloped that way, trampling over the fresh debris that at first laid still, but was not scrapped around and to the side thanks to Luna’s powerful haste.

now

Depressing... The ending was interesting.

An interesting story, very well written. But Luna uses modern English

5408297 this was written right after the season 3 premier, when Luna still used old english. Season 4 onward, she's adjusted, but at this point in time... she has not.

5408412 Really? I thought I heard her using modern english since A Canterlot Wedding:rainbowhuh:

5408865 If I'm not mistaken, aside from the one line she had in a Canterlot Wedding, she spoke with her old tone in season 3.

Don't hold me to that though. Overall, it was a preference to include her old speaking tone, not a carefully researched attempt.

I was going o say something about this earlier, and I forgot. So I'm doing it now.

Honestly, Reg? It's not dark enough. I've read so many stories where this was the plot. It's just not new, and just feels irrelevant.

See, what you have to do is end it on a note that leaves a seed of doubt in Celestia's mind. One that the reader knows will grow.

5413063 Keep in mind, this story is over two years old.

5413166
Fair enough, but it feels that way.

Sorry to be so cruel, but you're a good author. So I feel obligated to nitpick your stories, since there's nothing major to swear about.

5413269 Well, it not being dark enough is more of a preference thing on your part
so
sorry

5413307
The point being that it doesn't feel like your other work.

But I guess that's just because it's old.

I finally cleared up my sea of tabs and discovered this marvelous gem... I really enjoyed the nightmare.:raritywink:


There were a few spelling and grammar mishaps, though, and the "archaic speak" was pretty "meh" at points.

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

5413658 What does the writing at the top of your avatar say?

How did you get into contact with ShortSkirtsAndExplosions? He never replies to anyone!

5463663 meh, Equestria Daily would just reject the story as always
but it's worth a shot.

5463667 "what a prick"

5463670 I've been pals with him since 2012

5463667
It's what most people say when they meet me.

I know this is a bit of an older story, and it definitely feels that way. It felt rushed, particularly here:

Along with twenty prestigious Canterlot Guards, the royal sisters ventured to the Crystal Empire hoping to not only examine the door, but to possibly rid the land of their concern for the safety of others. Walking towards the shimmering throne, Luna stared at the seemingly endless abyss, counting every stair step.

It would have been better if you just did a scene jump to the Sisters being at the palace, or even if you had started the story there and had Twilight's admission to Celestia be a flashback or perhaps just touched upon in dialogue. The shift here kinda jarred me a bit and contributes to the feeling that it's about half as long as it needs to be.

Still a good story, though only a thumb from me. Keep on keepin' on, Reg. :ajsmug:

5498557 If I recall, Skirts wrote that part
Multiple partner collabs can get messy

5498721

Ahh, that explains it.

5498729 It also may have been art
but I assure you
I was not at that level of description 2 and 1/4 years ago

5498835

You have improved mightily. :twilightsmile:

I wonder what celestias' greatest fear might be.

Uh, what's with the video at the end? Did you even watch it before putting it there? Because that's not the song it says it is in the title and the description. But anyway, I like the story. :) If I looked through that door... I'd probably see all my friends saying I'm weird and annoying and they hate me and they can never forgive me for the bad things I did (even though I didn't do anything to them). Even my grandparents (who have been like parents to me for the past three years) would hate me. And my two best friends would tell EVERYBODY about the bad thing I thought about doing to someone I was really mad at when I was in the mental hospital and everybody would be terrified of me and nobody would want anything to do with me and I'd be all alone and hated by everybody forever!

6288382 as far as the song goes, this story was originally called "When The Day Met The Night"
however, I felt like the song still fit when publishing time rolled around

6288448 Uh, that's not what I meant. Listen to the video. That's not the song it says it is.

6288475 Really? Oh shit.

6288475 Fixed. Looks like the original video's uploader pulled a fast one on us.

The idea was great, it was well executed, but there were some moments in your writing when I kinda just cringed. Like this, for instance.

“Hello? Are thou anypony here?”

First of all, why the random slopes between 'thou' and 'you', 'are' and 'art', and etc. Second, do you even know all the basic archaic terms?

Thou = you
Thee = an action towards 'you', like 'I thank thee'
Thy = your, as in 'can I borrow thy pencil?'
Art = are

There's a whole lot more, but that's all I'll give right now, I'm sure the Princess of Edits might of given you a nice lecture about proper Luna Royal Voice. but I hope the archaic list I so-unsubtly sneaked in helps :raritywink:

7461517 wrote this in 2012, so the quality is pretty shabby

7461809 Well, one thing I usually do when I encounter something I written three years and over ago is rewrite it. I'm not asking to obsess, trust me when I say that I've been there and it wasn't pretty, just saying that a nice rewrite every three years would be nice.

7474693 i might do that, although I don't put too much stock into older stories
I dunno, I like having a nice, tangible record of my improvement as a writer

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