• Member Since 12th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

Regidar


irresistible

E
Source

Roseluck's job as a flower pony sometimes requires her to head off and arrange flowers for certain venues: weddings, parties, and funerals. Out of the three, funerals appeal to her best; they're quiet, ponies leave her to her business, and they pay well.

Called to arrange flowers for a Canterlot funeral, Roseluck gladly accepts. After all, it's just going to be another funeral, right?

Editing by Rated Ponystar.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 92 )

4596041 den outta den best original comment

Regidar, why do dis? Why u make me feel:fluttercry:

4596047 I wasn't implying that as a bad thing, that would be homophobic.

This is an incredibly feelsy story, but that said, why in the name of sanity did you have a crazy Dutchman edit it>

4596065 He offered
also don't be racist the dutch make excellent ovens

I loved this. I have been close to death for my entire life, and this reflects my thoughts exactly. Thank you.

Good sad story. Thanks to Ponystar for the promotion but may find interest in improving editing skills just a little. Not that I am meaning that to be rude or anything, sorry. I do like the sad stories and will be checking out more of your stuff for sure.

Gotta say, this is definitely one of your best one-shots. Chock full of feels, it prompts the reader to think about death just as much as Roseluck.

10/10, will read again. Have an upvote and a fave.

However, the word "it" only has one "i", just so you know.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4596070
Honestly, I'm just going to nip in and say this before the_parasprite does:

also don't be racist the dutch make excellent ovens

...So did the Nazis.

God damnit, Regi. Stop making me feel things. I will cut you.

4596309
I don't know how to feel about that joke...

Dammit...Octavia died again!MOM!GET THE DEFIBULATORS!

4596423 woah spoilers

4596428 hm.....-thinks-'nah...just a silly thought...'

I have little to no heart left, and yet. This story is interesting. So much, that I have left you a golden star, as known as a "favorite" and bid you this. Great story, and since it is so, I bid you a great time upon this Earth. And, good luck.

Sincerely,
~Flow

4596053 it was my destiny


4596082 smoke weed erryday amiright


4596161 Oh dear, I'm sorry to here that. I've come close to death often, but not as much as you have. I was just attempting to do my best in recreating some of that feeling.


4596208 :heart:


4596233 Well, I hope you enjoy what you find there. Don't forget to leave comments letting me know what you think. :heart:


4596309 do you know what a dutch oven is


4596367 this is revenge for not working on the collab


4596445

Where's your heart?

I'm glad you liked it though

4596461
Oh well I'm not much for commenting as I fear being rude or anything but I did absolutely love Blank Book already.

Warning: This comment contains mild spoilers.

I think what strikes me about this story is how quiet it is. I was shocked to find out exactly whose funeral Roseluck was working at, and actually surprised at just how few ponies showed up to it; that definitely wasn't something I pictured when thinking of that particular pony passing away. On top of that, Roseluck's internal conflict is subdued as well, not being overblown as it could've been, and I appreciate that. The story stuck to being quiet, and I think it works effectively.

Your characterization of Roseluck is really interesting. There was one act she did that really stuck out to me:

“Just a flower pony, ma’am,” Roseluck said, dipping her head respectfully and denying the offer to shake hooves with Symphony. Symphony’s brow furrowed, but she made no advances further.

That, I think, is a very noteworthy action because it transforms what could've been a goody-goody into an actual character with desires and limits. This might seem like gobbledygook, but it stuck out to me as a really nice action. Her characterization came off as clear, with her being a straightforward pony with a job to do and an active, realistic imagination.

What's even better about her is how the conflict affects her. I can only speculate at why she chose this particular funeral—my current pondering leaves me at both the victim's age and the method of death—to begin engaging with her internal conflict, but a topic like the inevitability and the unpredictability with a funeral worker is something I find interesting; it brings the character closer to what she's involved in. And through her visions at her own funeral, I learned more about her, suck as she cares for her family and she constantly thinks about the earth as well as flowers. You not only create a great scene with her; you use the situation to explore her character further, which I really loved.

I think you utilize the other characters well, except for two. The victim's mother (who I will not name, since it could be ascertained from it who the victim is) was quiet and grieving, as if this was an actual final farewell. And Final Farewell was a nice host, playing his part. They each had good descriptions about them as well. I will say that I didn't enjoy the bickering couple; I actually think they are the only thing that might've been cut to the story's benefit (in fact, and I don't mean to insult your story in any way, it seemed as though the story started at Farewell Manor, and not at the train ride). I might just be saying that because I found their bickering annoying, and they may actually serve their purpose in the grand scheme of things.

Your setting is also nice. The move from Ponyville funerals to a grander Canterlot manor is a marked change, and you describe the temple vividly and greatly. I'll admit I don't know what robust wood is, but I got a picture of both the place and the mood from all of this. How grand it is helps the detail of how small the funeral is really stick out. And I don't know if you intended this, but looking back, this detail sticks out to me:

The stained glass mural-window that hung above the lectern, platform, and casket was of a large sun, with a somewhat smaller Celestia in the corner raising it seemingly effortlessly.

With how quiet and somber this all is, I think two very important words here are "seemingly effortlessly." Given how it's common knowledge that Celestia raises the sun, most ponies wouldn't consider that. But the word "effortlessly," coupled with the light pouring in through the window, brings to mind the image of how time flows effortlessly, and how death—given that this is a funeral—is effortless (stressed even more with how the victim died). I think the setting's utilized beyond well.

I also liked the aside about worshiping Celestia and Luna. That was interesting, and I hadn't thought of that.

Technically, I only found one thing you consistently did improperly: mix up lead and led as the past tense of lead.

Overall, though, I think this is excellent. It's a quiet story, and it uses its quietude very effectively. I think it's a beautiful piece.

4596461

My heart? Oh, that's simple, it ran away from me past the carpet of life and under the couch of happiness, and was eaten by despair.

Quite funny, no tears to shed here though. Unless certain things are said, but then again, that's only from the ponies I care about.

If you ever want to have more a conversation with me, feel free to PM me. I do love having a conversation with the strangers of the pony society. Very intriguing.

Sincerely,
~Flow

4596461

There are two different kinds. Were you talking about the blanket and flatulence kind or the firepot-oven?

They make damn good firepot-ovens.


4596407

Go ahead and laugh; I won't judge.

Thanks, Regidar. You've managed to make me feel something other than rage.


4596309 You just made me think about something...
The publicists for German gas companies must have one of the hardest jobs on the planet.

4596507

This. All my yes. Hats off to you, sir.

Not really my usual cup of tea, but that's just because I don't drink tea.
Well done.

Much like its protagonist, this story goes about itself in a very quiet, subdued way. and it does it very, very well. :twilightsmile:

Octavia kicked the bucket, I would have thought it would be Twilight. Good story anyway:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

Very Gothic sounding premise and prose. I like it.

However it does feel somewhat rushed in spots, with some clunky sentences and a smattering of misspelled words. I feel you could do better, especially with a silent and introspective premise like this one.

Fuck, hippie, you are getting very good at this.

4596309
I knew as soon as Regidar made the Dutch oven comment, someone would go there... Not sure how to feel about that comment though.

This is a masterpiece, this is the only thing truly nearly bringing tears into my eyes since My Little Dashie. Well done sir, well fucking done. :fluttercry:

This story is too long for Short Stories. I've removed it.

4597025 Oh dear, I'm sorry. :twilightoops:

4597028 Don't worry; a lot of people miss the word limit. Maybe I should bold it or something.

(I can't just raise the limit because Donaldtrumpcard set it before he quit as group mod--I don't want to trample on his vision for the group.)

4597035 is it like 3k or something?

4597089 2,500 words. I sometimes let stories squeak in that are between 2,500 and 2,600, depending on my mood and how few stories there are in the category. (I'm generous with tragedies, since we have so few.)

This made me feel happy, and for some reason didn't bring tears to my eyes, it kinda tugged at something in my heart, but it wasn't sorrow. It was more like content, and a feeling of peacefulness... :twilightsmile:

Is it just me or is Roseluck in a ton of sad fics?

I'm not sure what's up with Roseluck. Is she saying goodbye to who she used to be or? Those last couple lines sound as though something stole her body via possession or something.

4596070 If it ain't Dutch, it ain't much.

Geen leugen! Echt waar!

...IK LIEG NIET. Oeps, Caps Lock. Ach, maakt niet uit.

...

Oopsie... I started writing in Dutch.

I wouldn't exactly trust a guy whose legal name in Equestria is Final Farewell, especially if he works at a funeral home. :applejackunsure:

But this story was extremely well done. You have done a great job with showing emotion in this one and you recreated the same sort of heavy feeling in my own stomach. Maybe it's just me, but maybe you did it to other people too.

Thanks, man.

4596070
**** the Dutch! They occupied my country for 350 years! *thump*
Sorry 'bout that! Somebody just let him loose and I need to take some extreme measures

Was interesting, but, why'd it have to be Octavia :raritycry:

NO! It can't be. . . .Octavia? :fluttercry:

4596070 There are only two things I can't stand in this world: Those who are inconsiderate of other people's cultures... And the Dutch.:ajbemused:

I cringed a bit when you had Roseluck think about loud as she expounded about death, but the flashes and final few lines made for a great juxtaposition between satisfying the living and honoring the dead.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!