• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago




Sometimes unexpected mishaps occur; sometimes you leave your saddlebag at home, sometimes a faucet breaks, sometimes you lose the keys to the front door.

Sometimes a small star appears in your bedroom.

Fortunately for Celestia, whereas the rest of you would be apocalyptically out of luck, she has Luna.

Unfortunately for her, that means talking to Luna.

Third-place winner of the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Dreams contest. The prompt was "No way home." If you like my work, consider donating to my Ko-Fi.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 46 )

I can't be sure what exactly I've just finished reading. A birth? A lewd act? Something wholesome or vore-related?

Whatever it was, it was a truly stellar effort.


Quite absurd, and oddly adorable. Thanks for sharing this!

“The fact that you used such a specific, technical term leads me to some very usetting implications—” Celestia groaned and shook her head. “Whatever. Luna. Please deal with the baby star destroying my bedroom.”


“I thought you’d have known this about me by now,” Luna snorted, indigence clear. “You really should get to know me better.”


Now that I'm done with the typos, this was great. Loved the bits you added since the contest.

fixed, thank you bb

So Princess Luna uses sapient spheres of plasma as hair accessories. Possibly against their will. And she's had intercourse with one. I don't know how to feel about this. And then there's the fact that neither Princess seems particularly bothered by the death of Celestia's guards.

Well, what ever it was, it was amazing.

Sagittarius, not Sagitarrius. Also. Luna? What the fuck? What. the fuck?

man, google docs is letting me down, it told me it was correct the other way
guess i have to learn to spell now
fixed the error, thank you!

Wait... those stars are... oh sweet heavens... Luna, you should really keep your mane closed... if someone so weak and close-minded as Celestia can hear what you have in there, one might gett the wrong impression of you.

Delightfully insane!

I greatly enjoyed:

- Celestia and Luna being god-like for once rather than punching bags for the villain of the week
- Appropriately loony cosmology
- Wacky banter

Now we need to get Twilight in on this.

“You do date our star, do you not? Sol? You can’t hide it from me, dear sister, he told me all the illicit details while I was trapped up there.”

Celestia shot an uneasy glance out the window at the sun, which she could swear had somehow winked at her. Shuddering, she turned back to Luna.

This was great XD
Sorta missed these short funny stories that aren't anything more than jokes, we haven't seen them much lately

Just knowing that you implied some lewd stuff in here already drove me to smile very wide! As well as the fantastic story and awesome writing you did between the sister's bickering and conversing; oh it was glorious! You definitely brought this to it's truest and greatest form! I hope ya didn't mind, but I made a little reading of it just from how adorably funny it all was!

Audaiduaodi Liiiink: https://youtu.be/4q9pgWc-nwk

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment!)

"It’s actually because I was dating a star for a period of time while on the moon. Got quite lonely there, as I’m sure you recall from all my breakdowns. WR-102 was his name...”

A real star, in case anybody was wondering. A Wolf-Rayet star very near to going supernova, and is believed to have depleted its supply of hydrogen enough that it's begun fusing helium or heavier still elements. It is shedding so much of its mass via intense solar winds it has formed a small nebula-like "bubble" around itself. Only a handful of stars like it have been observed to date by astronomers, both in and out of our galaxy.

So basically, what all that means is that Luna has...unique...tastes. :rainbowhuh:

of course luna would date something with that much baggage

Luna's right; there's no way she can send it back. The universe is a rough place. Many formations out there tend to be quite rude.


This is FIMFiction. It is probably the 3rd one.

Makes far more sense than the stars being light bulbs, after all. I approve.

I'm still trying to decide what it is I just read, but I think I'll give it a thumbs up anyway.

I think I know where Celestia is coming from at the end there. I don't know whether I should feel entertained or vaguely violated.

But from then on Celestia could swear she always heard tiny, muffled screams echoing whenever she was too close to Luna’s mane, and she knew that Luna heard them too.

Love the astronomy stuff. I need to try taking better pictures of the Andromeda Galaxy sometime. Tonight will probably be Pleiades so I can stack more images. The last part though, reminds me of this:

"hairspace" has just taken on a new meaning. And I think of Pinkie's mane ...

Excuse me while I nerdgasm over all the delectable astrophysics.

This makes as much sense as Discworld.

I don't know if that's a compliment. I think it is...

It was beautiful. :moustache:

I always knew that we humans had no clue how the universe REALLY works. Ask the moon pony, she knows best how to tame- err, I mean how to lay- err, I mean how a star comes to be.

Lol. Seriously, the hell was all of this? I'm still trying to figure out what I just read. I feel like what Luna has done is offensive and yet... there's no freaking way I can comprehend intercourse with a star in any sort of manner. Like... what?

If those two shed even a single tear for each mortal that died while they've been around, we'd have a new ocean.

one minute I was sitting on the throne thinking about salamanders and the next, there’s a tiny star in my room!

Okay, but why are you thinking about salamanders of all things?
I would expect you would be busy listening to nobles complaining simply for the sake of complaining?

It may be small, but it’s giving off all the same heat and radiation as a normal sized one. I must say, for me it was quite pleasant, but the guards in the room were both reduced to charred skeletons!

Okay, hopefully she is able to put them back together...

“I have to add them to my mane. Maximum safety and I can keep an eye on them, and whatnot. Besides, with this one I’ll have enough for Cassiopeia!”

So that is what Luna had been doing between Season one and two...
Collecting stars for her mane.

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

I want one.

Far above Epona, the silent stars twinkled down with grim purpose... they were hidden by the light of the sun, but the twinkled nonetheless.

Star 1 said, "Agent 1.02E19 has failed in his mission."

Star 2 nodded in agreement, or as close to a nod as a star is capable of performing. "It is not unexpected; therefore, it goes according to plan."

Star 69 shook herself. She would have preferred to shake her head, but the lack of a neck was vexing. "We should never have aided in her escape."

Star 33 sighed and then said, "What else could we do? She's the mother of half of us and den mother to another 3rd."

Star 0 aka known as Equus said, I still say Celly would be a much better mistress. She's so good with foals. Why, her last student hasn't even conceived of revolting and overthrowing her rule yet. She's clearly getting better. 263rd time's the charm, after all.

But from then on Celestia could swear she always heard tiny, muffled screams echoing whenever she was too close to Luna’s mane, and she knew that Luna heard them too.

You know, I'm beginning to see why she doesn't want to talk to you, Luna.

I honestly am not sure how to feel about your comedy stories. Have an upvote anyway for the star puns.

But this was an experience.


I like this story and I like you, Regi. :)

I thought Twilight did something similar with her surge, and ascension The element of magic looks like the purple star in twilight's cutie mark, so where do the white ones come from...her surge pulled stars into her cutie mark of course, with her adding another with her ascension which increased the number of white stars in her cutiemark, and took place in an area full of stars before she actually ascended, so she can survive(and helps cut down on ascension to most not being able to survive there. Which means even as a unicorn Twilight was absorbing stars.

The sky is a neighborhood, after all.

Delightful madness throughout. I always love seeing the sisters deal with ridiculous shenanigans an order of magnitude greater than the ones that hit Ponyville.

i imagine they deal with stuff like this on a regular bases and are fairly blaise to horrific events

This is classic Regidar ideas mixed with modern Regidar prose. Silly, a bit insane, but skillfully done. I appreciate the juxtaposition of Luna's calm explanations and Celestia's absolute horror. It also made me laugh, so even better.

lmao i know this is 18 months late but i always love it when you read my fics. I'm glad you enjoyed it, my mane

Ayy no worries mang, and here's hoping to many more great days with your wonderful fics! Keep on goin' strong! :D

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