Survival
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo trotted through the bombed-out ruins of Fillydelphia, carrying heavy backpacks over their mud-stained flanks.
"Unnngh... this bites..." Scootaloo kicked at one of several hundred bits of rubble. The chunk of asphalt bounced across the streets full of abandoned wagons and overgrown grass. "How much further 'til we meet up with the Fire-whatsits?"
"Beats the heck out of me," Rainbow Dash grunted as she climbed over an overturned bus. "I'm only in it for the payment. Once I turn you in, I'm going back to Bostrot and getting on with my miserable life."
"Honestly, Rainbow, that can't be all that you care about!" Scootaloo looked at her with a pitiable expression. "I mean, you've sacrificed so much to get me this far!"
"Meh." Rainbow frowned as she inspected a nearby flower shop, its glass exterior smashed in over a decade ago.
"Really! I mean it!" Scootaloo gulped. "Thank you so much for all that you've done for me. I mean, after what happened back there, with... with Tank..."
"Enough talking..." Rainbow Dash muttered.
"But, I know that he meant a lot to you and you were best buds for a long time and--"
"Shut up!" Rainbow Dash barked, turning to snarl at the wincing foal. "I already told you, kid! We do not bring up Tank!"
Scootaloo sniffled, her face long and sad. "O... Okay..."
"Hrmmm..." Rainbow Dash leaned towards the smashed window, squinting. "Buckin' A..."
"What is it?"
"Clickers. Two of them."
"Oh crud!" Scootaloo scrunched tight behind a crumpled newsstand. "You serious?"
"Calm down. We can take them out," Rainbow Dash droned. "Besides, it's our only way to the other side of the city."
"But... but... what if they bite you, I mean?!"
"Not if we don't shut up and be careful about it!" Rainbow Dash squatted low before the shop window and motioned Scootaloo forward. She kept her ruby eyes locked on one of two zombie ponies lurching around the shop interior while it hissed and spat out mists of spores from its mutated, mushroomy head. "One of them is close by. Remember what we practiced?"
"Mmmhmm!" Scootaloo nodded vigorously.
"Good." Rainbow Dash held her hoof out. "Gimme a brick."
Shuddering, Scootaloo fumbled with her backpack, reached deep inside, and pulled out Sweetie Belle. She quietly hoofed her over to the surly pegasus. "Here ya go..."
"Let's get this over with." Rainbow Dash licked her lips, pulled her body back, and tossed Sweetie Belle hard into the shop.
The petite unicorn spun a few times before weightedly impacting with the zombie pony's skull. Mushroom blades fell loose as the creature doubled over in pain.
"Rrrrrrgh!" Clamping a pipe beneath her teeth, Rainbow Dash rushed in and bashed the clicker's skull in.
"Behind you!" Scootaloo squeaked.
Rainbow Dash spun in time to block the attack of a second zombie. Snarling, she bucked the thing against the wall and pounced on it, beating its mushy brains out with the dripping-wet pipe.
"Jesus, Rainbow!"
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An SS&E fic that's LESS than eighty metric fucktons of words?
Time to add Sweetie Belle to herself as a noun now.
What the ever-lovin' hell did I just read?!
Dammit, Skirts.
Well, this was a thing
...Um.
That's my entire reaction to this fic.
...Um.
Get back to writing End of Pornies...
I don't even.
Oh my. There's really not much to say here at all. It's what it is. Not bad, but not great either. It's a thing. 'Twas pretty amusing nonetheless.
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/85255656/Reactions/Malcom_Stumped.gif
Pffftt...
This ending... Full circle...
~Skeeter The Lurker
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5655-16765ws.gif
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5430-Im_a_filly_and_what_the_fuck_is_this_2.png
3457043
Why do people insist on asking him that?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3457038
Hmm... A caution on the flank then?
~Skeeter The Lurker
...
*sigh* Skirts, buddy, pal, friend-o-friends, Let me ask you something. Do you... just want me to punch you in the face? I mean, I'd rather not. You're a real cool guy and a great writer, but this... it's like you said, "Hmm, what can I do to piss of Jake today?" What's next on your itinerary? A story where the Mane Six all get married to each other then get pregnant by the power of love?
.
.
.
.
Don't you fucking dare...
3457043 What he said
My poor Sweetie Belle
3457137
You are aware that just because you told him not to, he's totally gonna do that, right?
Oh, Hell with it. (Like and faves)
I must've lost my mind.
Wow, just wow.
Well. Yes. That was a thing I read...
Yet another dimensionally-transcendent Sweetie Belle story.
Okay now I absolutely have no idea what's going on. Fitting since this is the end.
Well now I have no clue wtf I just read and im okay with that.
3457179
Somebody should, and make it a RariDash, TwiJack, ShyPie just to annoy the most possible bronies.
Oooh, now I get it, it's a brick joke.
...
This is the first story I've read that makes less sense than my attempts at story writing. Really well done, Skirts. This is one of the most unique ways of wasting time I have ever came across.
If you get away with this, I may have to publish my Mane Six U-Boat Division story. Even that made more sense than this.
3457179 i think hes using reverse psychology
the last of me faved it. the rest of me died laughing.
3457387 i respect twijack and flutterpie, but iwont endorse raridash.
EVER!
3457041
I resent that.
Damn you skirts.
Also I wouldn't mind seeing more of RD/Scoots in a The Last of Us cross-over.
This is the only story that has truly entertained me on this site.
Ooookay, let's try to be objective.
The thing is, there is a kind of structure to it in the common theme of Sweetie Belle being treated like trash, kinda like those 5-minute shows they had on Cartoon Network aeons ago. There's certainly its weight in intrigue at the dual horror and fascination at the increasingly surreal plights that befall her. That weight is only matched by the nonsensical-ness of, well, everything, but I find myself thinking that the nonsense isn't the point, but a means to deliver the punchline ends (even that was a bit painful to write).
It's... cinematic, and doesn't have a determinable thematic/character goal. It was something geared to be experienced outside the conventional format, and is pretty darn unique in the fine line it toes. Even if, and I do suspect it, you wrote this out of your ass. Which is wholly your right and hey, I still enjoyed it, in a way I find hard to reconcile with my understanding.
tl;dr
You'd think with all the uses Sweetie Belle has she'd've gotten her cutie mark at some point.
Basically my reaction to this fic.
3458007
Probably.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Sorry, but was that a Last of Us last chapter?
REALLY!?!?!
An absolutely hilarious romp through randomness. Good job! But, what other uses could Sweetie Belle be used for?
Rush and Pony on!
T4E
...............I have no idea what the fuck I just read... but it was glorious
I don't... How did you even come up with this idea?
Holy god...
I don't know whether to laugh my ass off, or to feel bad for poor Sweetie Belle. Though, after you gave her a respectful treatment in The Funeral of Derpy Hooves, I suppose the universe had to reestablish equilibrium.
Now, if you don't mind, I have to find an ocean to walk into.
3457137
Skirts! This would be the best thing. Do it just to see how much Jake flails and squirms and rages. C'mooon!
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/173/576/Wat8.jpg
3457709
I am going to pretend you did not just try to make sense out of one of Discords' bedtime stories.
...excuse me i need to go break into his bedroom to see what other masterpieces he has hidden away with my brand new Sweetie-lockpick!
Jeez, Rainbow!
I keep hearing it in voice of Matt from Two Best Friends...
DAMN YOU SHORT SKIRTS!
Hey, guess what, guys. There was no twist ending that used Cerebus Syndrome!
3457945
At this rate, it's going to be a Swiss Army Knife.
EDIT: 8 dislikes? God damn what did I do wrong this time? xD
I'm gonna read dis shit ryte now.
Lol the first thing I thought of when I saw milkmare was crotchboobs. Just by knowing that you all know the type of person I am now. Lel
Cold Rarity is hot. Literally.
Awww Sweetie's voice cracked. That's so fucking cute.. She's sure eager to do whatever Rarity has planned tho
Lolwat
For some reason imagining Sweetie hold the door open like that is really cute. Rarity is one abusive little shit tho
huehue you know who else is clever? Cleverbot. *ded* Srsly though it's like everyone forgot about that thing or something. What a waste. The time they spent making that they could've used for animating anthro cloppy goodness.
Lol isn't saphhire that one mare with that accent? I know an RP buddy who thinks that's hot. It's funny because I have an aunt who literally sounds just like her. Okay it's probably not that funny. You can kill me now.
Lol poor Sweetie Belle. Just wait til she gets older and burns down the whole town, then faps to the fire. that'ddd be ma gurl <33
Awww damnit I was eating fuckin ice cream why does that fucking bird have to shit in her fucking face god damnit
AND SWEETIE THAT IS NOT FUN
Onto next chaptr-
YES LYRA THE FUCKING SEXIEST BACKGROUND PONY OF ALL TIME AWWWWW YISS
Lol at first I thought it was bad sex.
wtf the pillow is Sweetie Belle? XD
That is actually so fucking cute. Sweetie as a pillow would be firkin amazing.
Lolwat. Dem ending words DAMNIT LYRA THAT'S NOT HOW YOU ACT FUCKING HEADCANNONS AGHHHH although maybe it's better for me because she's not completely happy with her current Relationship so I'd have a better chance with my shitty non-existant and stereo-typical personalty. YAYYY REALITY owait I won't even get to be with her anyway. YAY REALITY AGAIN
Next chapter!
who dafuq is sibsy. If that's not an OC you're really going deep into the show's roots for random barely-existant background characters. xD
tha holdup is mah dick babe huehuehuehue
haha erect a ladder im so immature
Lol Rarity be taken advantage of dem stallions LIEK A WHORE *Is shunned by Rarity fans*
DAYUUUUUUUUUm I like this mare. She get real mad I'd looove watching her get mad at people I don't like. xD Even though she'd probably just get mad at me in the end.
aaand here comes Sweetie. xD
That is soooooo sensual and epic I like it
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That mare has got to be SO FUCKING PISSED right then. If I was her I'd probably go on a rampage. xD I'm serious. Dead serious. :|
Next Chapter!
lolsinking
I'd rather drown then be fucked by a shark. At least drowning is kind of one of my main fetishes. xD Granted it most likely wouldn't be very pleasant, I guess it'd be a nice way to go anyway.
Why don't they just run through the fire? Seriously they're on a sinking boat the flames would be put out real fast.
I already know it's gonna be Sweetie. xD
omgwow
lolwat. And here comes the unrealisticness lol.
Poor Sweetie. :S Now she's gonna drown in the ship. And as hot as that is it's pretty sad because she gon diee
NUXT CHAPTER
HALOL BUTTON MASH I haven't even watched those episodes yet.
Yay Button's ultimately sezy MILF
datboldprint
Aaaaaand here's Sweetie. xD
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM SHE JUST SHOVED ALL OF THAT ICE IN SWEETIE'S THROAT HOLY SHIT
lolwtf
If i was Button I'd cuddle the fucking shit out of that damn filly.
Nächstes Kapitel! (Yay google translate because I'm too dumb and lazy to know German.)
LolCheerilee
hahahahahaahalong and hard looooooooooooooooooool
Ugh. Taking tests that are dependent on your future. Those are sooo fucking stressful. It's like if you fail your life is probably fucked and you'll be in school for so much longer, and by the time you come out you'll be old as fuck and the fun time of your life is already gone. So you're a depressed heap of shit and all you have to look forward to is masturbation and possibly a high-paying job if you can even find one. Then you realize that what the fuck is the point of your life if all yer gonna be doing is fapping, and you get existential crisis and more and more suicidal thoughts build up until your internet gf dumps you and you kill yourself by a shotgun to your face, and then your parents wonder what happened. God that went deep but it's probably true for some people. :S
Lol that dumb colt.
dafuq Sweetie. xD
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE JUST SHOVED THAT PENCIL IN HER FUCKIN ASS BRO THAT WAS UNEXPECTED
NEXT CHAPTER
Drwhooves*
I doubt he really improved. That's probably just another feel-good lie. Well you know what? THey don't make you feel good they make you feel SHIT
daflyingfuck
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THE LAST ONE. DUDE SERIOUSLY AN ARROW RIGHT IN THE ASSHOLE HOLY FUCK THAT HAS GOTTA HURT
Next anu-- chapter!
ohgodsurgery
Big Mac is having surgery? Dafuq can this be about? Does he want a bigger dick?
Holy descriptive surgery shit I know nothing about.
WTF XD SWEETIE AS A SCALPEL DAFUQ
Seriously though poor Sweetie Belle. Hopefully at the end of all this she gets hugged so fucking hard.
Chapter that is next!
Awww yeah dis mare be liek a sir
Lol Cheerilee sure is nervous.
Lol Sweetie is getting more unrealistic with each chapter.
Next chapter that is the final one. Dayum this is long lol.
Ouch seems harsh.
I hate apocalyptic scenarios sometimes. So depressing. Only if there's Romance involved would i really like it alot, and ScootsxDashie is a good ship. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Lolzombies. Even as zombies I'm sure mares would still be pretty sexy.
Oooh a brick stolen from Sicamore's house! (If anyone gets that reference you are fucking God.)
Lolwat. Finally a pun with the title. xD
Well at least RD didn't get infected lel. Damn this was long and I'm tired, and I have shit to do right now and tomorrow and ughhhhhhh fuck me life I'll go die now.
3458318
SSnX: Obliterating the world by shipping.
Now it's time for sex to blow the world up.
Last of Us references...
Beat that game on Survivor (after doing it twice on normal)
Even Scoots does not notice her best friend is being abused, poor Sweetie Belle