• Member Since 19th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 11th, 2020


I dream of a man whose hopes never end.


When Rarity's boutique is invaded by a cockroach, she must muster all of her courage and wits to do battle with the horrid beast. A series of epic battles will leave only one of them alive. Can Rarity survive the horrible ordeal?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 60 )

Oh no, poor roach :raritydespair:
Though maybe it shouldn't have crawled on her face so much....ewwwwwww :unsuresweetie:

that was great i was laughing the whole time but i have to wonder if rarity knows the rules of infestation for every one you see there's ten more that you can't

Roaches, immune to everything from decapitation to magic to nuclear weapons. Only to be stopped by a newspaper.

Reminds me of the TMNT episode. Raph and Rarity has something in common! :derpyderp2:

Given the choice between a bug on her face or a soaked hide and ruined mane, it was a simple choice.

For Rarity, that is desperate. :raritydespair: :rainbowlaugh:

5138745 In case of mass cockroach outbreak, make your way to your closest newspaper distribution plant.

:rainbowlaugh: Oh, Rarity, you could've just used your magic to levitate it and throw it out. Then again, this IS Rarity.

Oh, God.
Roaches are the second of my three WORST POSSIBLE THINGS! With spiders being the first, and math homework the third.
I just absolutely hate them.

My house gets a few every so often (we don't live in a filthy house, it's just a natural problem for my neighborhood), and I always freak out whenever I see one.

Rarity's reaction is pretty much the same as mine.

Can you not just squish the roach with your magic? Just grab it and squish it?

But touching the roach with her magic would be akin to touching it with her hoof. Rarity would never do something so vile!


I hate every insect and arachnid on this Earth, except beautiful butterflies, fireflies, dragonflies, honeybees, and the tarantula.

5139660 I like bugs and reptiles but I hate roachs.


I like reptiles too.

However, to say I truly hate all bugs, aside from the ones I listed, would be false, because they sure make good survival food out in the wilderness. You'll never have to worry about starving ever again!

5139738 To be honest, I'd sooner eat my arms and legs before putting one of those things in my mouth.


Lol, it ain't that bad. You just roast them over a fire, and, by doing that, it kills all the parasites the insects may have. Plus you get a shit ton of protein.

5139799 Why can't you just eat rabbits, deer, or if your extreemely lucky, a bear?


Because bunnies are cute and fluffy! And every time I think about killing a dear, Bambi comes to my mind, and I burst into tears :raritydespair:

5139809 Do you think of Yogi when you hear the word bear too?


No, not all it.

5139814 So if you see a bear corpse or a sleeping one, you'd have no problem sticking a knife into its head and chowing down, or a dead Thumper or Bambi?


I'd never go near a sleeping bear, nor would I ever kill a deer or rabbit. Not that I'm a wimp or anything, but because I wouldn't be able to harm such an innocent creature.

I sound like Goddamn Fluttershy.

5139838 Not just Fluttershy, but goddamned Fluttershy. There's a difference.

{Insert All Star Batman and Robin joke here}


I officially love this guy. :heart:

5139866 D'aawwwwww, thanks. Hey, do you have an account on Steam?


Nope, but I got Skype.

5139933 Oh. I have Steam but I don't have Skype. How about PSN or XBOX Live for the 360?

Pet roaches, :unsuresweetie: DIE!

"Gosh what a mess":moustache: "Rarity you need any help cleaning it up?"


"ROACH PARTY":pinkiehappy:

"A roach muffin?":derpytongue2: "Gone in 6 seconds!"

Fuck no! Not the tarantula!

There's a blues song for every occasion. Let's have one for this poor cockroach, he just wanted to cuddle...

Aww,poor buggy... RARITY IS A MURDERERER

Hilarious! Keep it up!

That was hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

Having nothing left to throw, Rarity gripped the edges of the sink and yanked it free, sending a spray of water into the air. Lifting the sink above her head, she heaved it with all her might at the diminutive monster.

This is one of the best inclusions of the kitchen sink I've ever seen.

Thanks for writing! :raritywink:

5141865 Remember kids, stomping on cockroaches only spreads their eggs, so Sweetie Belle is most likely going to have LOTS of new friends to play with soon.

For Rarity, it will be:


A lovely story :rainbowlaugh: you played Rarity flawlessly, I must commend you for that. It was an absolute blast to read. :raritystarry:

Try living in the South.
>clean house
>le 3" long fucking Roach
>"oh that's just a palmetto bug. smush it and flush it."

5139838 dude I'm the same way

In fact, the only things that I don't have a problem killing are:
Brown Recluses
Any sort of domestic pest (including parasites)

That was fun


I'd be able to kill parasites because they are unscrupulous, supercilious creatures that feed on you. And I do not tolerate such behaviour!

I do not kill bugs, it is the same with humans, they are inferior but bugs serve a purpose (Except mosquitos, i haven't figured out what they do besides act as food for spiders, which I love)
when some one kills a bug in my prescence... i go into a state of murderous anger... it happens a bit but I quell it most of the time
(I caqn never go back to wyoming)

You did a great job portraying Rarity and Sweetie Belle.:twilightsmile:
Just imagine if it had been Fluttershy, though.:fluttercry:

Poor Sweetie. :fluttercry:
I can't blame Rarity though

I am in total agreement with Rarity on this one.

Come on Sweetie I'll get you a puppy!

ouch...I was really kinda expecting Sweetie to come up and say it was her pet the whole time...but ouch....poor Sweetie


spiders, which I love

You, sir, are not well. Any logical person will tell you they are hell spawn woven from Satan's very hair. That could be my arachnophobia talking, but if people can believe in Zenu, then at least let me have that.

5221053 I am pretty sure it is spelled xeenu
or I may be wrong, I beleive that liking bugs, arachnids, etc. is natural rather than blind animosity
of course, like I said, i may be wrong

Cockroach beats sink. Paper beats cockroach.

Don't worry Sweetie, no, in infact worry a lot, where your new friend came from there are going to be plenty more, just wait until it starts eating your home work, and eating the insides of your stuffed animals.


Uuuuh...that ending.

Some specifics.
1. “It’s a cockroach! Get it Opal! Get it!”
- Lol!

2. She stumbled into the sink, sending all of her beauty products scattering about.
- Oooh. Dangerous. Deadly even.

3. As she tiptoed across the tile...
- Hmmm, "tiphooved?" Naaah.

4. Possible potential error:
Her words trailed off as she actually got sight of the boutique.
- ...caught sigh...? Maybe I'm wrong...

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