• Member Since 13th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

cogwheelbrain


If yer a pony and ya know it, stomp yer hooves!

T

During Celestia's long life she mastered the art of war and crushed every opponent. But she knows that one day she will find somepony better than her. With Luna and Twilight calling for her blood, will today be that day? And at what cost?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 45 )

This was a fun read. The twist was predictable but it was still set up very well so I still laughed when it was revealed. Poor Celestia, I wonder if she'll be able to live this down :rainbowlaugh:

This made me chuckle. Well done.

This was a fun read. Looks like we might have a future royal soldier in Sweetie Belle. If Celestia would hire her after such a defeat. :P

Okay, without reading the rest the story, I want to make a prediction. They're playing some type of Risk, aren't they?

Celestia’s eyes went cold and the colors of her mane darkened further. “Fine! Have at you then!” With a quick motion, she moved a hoofful of small colorful pieces across a map that sat on top of the table.

Called it!

Not even looking at the map and the plastic armies upon it Sweetie Belle said calmly, “You’re doomed, Princess.”

Did not call that. Oh well, GO Sweetie Belle!

This story was absolutely wonderful. And even though the plot twist was predictable I'm still smiling. Absolutely brilliant.

It is a sign of greatness when you can see the joke coming and it is still funny.

It is a further sign of greatness when on top of that, you didn't see what came next and realise it exactly one line before the reveal and it is even funnier.

I know that Sweetie is a master-startegista, but win against Celestia? So much yes!

media.giphy.com/media/7glvOeZOzwre0/giphy.gif

6660692

If Celestia didn't hire her, Luna do it.

6660692 I think that Celestia would hire her exactly because of it. Celestia isn't the kind to let such talent to go waste... :trollestia:

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6661908
True that, Luna would totally hire her.
And I agree, how could she waste such talent? :D

6661220

Thank you! As a neophyte writer, that means a lot. It means I did my job right. :derpytongue2:

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Great. Just, great.

Now you've got me wondering how all of this is going to play out in the future. Like I don't already have enough ideas in my head that I can't get written out properly! Ugh, and now ideas for some type of 'Chess Master Sweetie Belle' are starting to form in my head. :facehoof:

6662707
Heh sorry. I know the feeling though, I have a million ideas it seems for stories to write, some based on only little things and others on well my crazy dreams I get after a new episode/comic issue comes out. (For example, part of my current story changed while planning it thanks to the current arc in the comic book series.)
Hopefully we can all write brilliant things that pop into our mind(or that others help pop into our mind teehee.)

Given the soft spot I have for Sweetie Belle, there was no way I could not like this story :raritywink:

I will confess: you had me fooled for a little while; I was gearing up to downvote and voice my utter bafflement at the vote ratio. Of course, that made it all the sweeter and more fun when I caught on. Well done, my good Sir or Madam, a sweet and fun little piece, which I ultimately enjoyed greatly. :trollestia::twilightsmile::unsuresweetie:

Oh i actually thought there was a war going on you got me so good.But now im sad that i couldn't come up with this first but ah well this isn't a competition

Sweetie General, reporting for duty!

Sweetie Belle then gets a cutie mark in warfare strategy.

That was very worth a good giggle :) Thank you.

6662707 At the very least, she needs a war tactics cutie mark, I mean, she just owned somepony with 1000+ years of combat experience, who's good at it.

This is pre-Crusaders of the Lost Cutie-Mark right?

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This is pre-Crusaders of the Lost Cutie-Mark right?

It is now. :rainbowlaugh:

.....At first,i was like: "Big battle, yes!"
But then I was like: "Oh."

The genre tags pretty much spoiled it right away, I guessed just from the synopsis what it would be all about. Still entertaining, though.

Now, Celestia against all three Cutie Mark Crusaders, on the other hoof...that would be enough chaos worthy of Discord.

6672364

The genre tags pretty much spoiled it right away, I guessed just from the synopsis what it would be all about. Still entertaining, though.

Yeah, I understand. I've only started posting stories but I'm learning that you have to balance the information you should/must give to the reader vs the information that you do/don't want to give to the reader when you write the blurb and add the tags. Sometimes you just have to give up info to ensure your audience ends up happy.

For example, If I left the 'comedy' tag off I have a feeling there would have been a lot of people upset that they got comedy. But I'm OK with using the comedy tag. It feels more like 'truth in advertising' or such even though it does start pointing readers towards where it's all going in the end. Yeah, a lot of folks can usually figure out the twist or hook or underlying idea from such info, but that doesn't always mean a story will be flat or bad. But, in the end, I got the audience I was after, and I think people who have read it are happy with what they got.

So, thank you for reading it and I'm glad you enjoyed it. This also means that my blurb and tag choices were good ones (at least, as far as I'm concerned - others may disagree, but I'm biased. :raritywink:)

I completely forgot this thing was a comedy despite seeing the comedy tag, when I came back to read it due to other stuff. I'm reading through and then it mentions pieces and I'm sitting here pissed because i thought this was a real battle, all and all I liked it was good threw me off my game there. Well done!

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The other thing to consider is that the website allows people to search for stories based on tags, so making your tags incomplete could mean your story gets passed over by someone looking for a Comedy.

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Very true. So, yup, gotta balance giving away some info against making sure potential readers can make a good choice if they wanna read a story or not.

That's Sweetie for you

Fun! Feels like it could be the same universe as https://www.fimfiction.net/story/184016/another-cup-of-tea-madam ?

6678289

I don't know that story, but I'll have to go check it out. Thanks!

Sweetie Belle's future: Warlord of Equestria.

Behold Sweetie Belle: Future Princess/Goddess of war.

Hey if Twilight gets wings for being great with magic then Sweetie should get a pair for being epic at warfare.

I see a glorious future for Sweetie Belle as Grand Marshal of Equestria, leading the glorious armies of the Princesses to victory in a war which will most likely be started by Princess Luna's antiquated mannerisms.

This was both funny and adorable!:yay:

I knew it was a board game from the first sentence, and all the hyperbole afterward just made it funnier and funnier. Kudos. :twilightsmile:

6733692 I'll piggyback on Vutava's comment, as it's basically mine too. I'll just add that Sweetie's take on proceedings was certainly the best bit. :unsuresweetie:

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Yeah, I wasn't going for earth-shattering new territory here, just comfortably amusing. I'd like to think that I succeeded.

thx!

After reading the first sentence, I'm thinking they're playing a game like "Risk" or something. Let's see if I'm right.

Edit: CALLED IT! :yay:

6660692

... If you can't beat them, make sure they're on your side. Your enemies probably can't either.

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ALL HAIL OUR NEW EMPERORESS!!! :unsuresweetie:

7016145 Long into the future, Sweetie Belle will overthrow the Alicorns and bring upon the land the Rule of Sweetie Belle. She shall trod the jeweled crowns of Alicorns beneath her hooves and sit upon a thrown with her crown upon a troubled brow.

Cute and sweet. I liked =3

Poor Celestia, trying to use real world experience in a board game. Can't just Solar Blast your way out of this one.

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