Chapter 1
Celestia stared across the battlefield. Beyond the great expanse her mortal enemy sat manipulating armies and weaving them into terrible webs of destruction. Celestia snorted in contempt. The Solar Princess had fought countless wars during her long existence, destroyed countless enemies, and decimated untold armies. This one should have been no different.
So why was she losing?!
Her armies had been strengthened in all the right locations. She had allotted her troops based upon vast experience and first hand knowledge of war. So why was she on the defensive now?
This upstart. This newcomer. How had she done so much damage in so short a time? How had she claimed so much from Celestia and so quickly?
Luck. That’s all there was for it: simple, dumb luck. Celestia refused to accept any other possibilities.
But she knew. She knew! Luck was not endless. It always vanished eventually, just evaporating away like dew into the morning air. And when it did, Celestia would triumph!
It wasn’t pride that made Celestia reject the possibility of her current predicament. No, it was experience she had paid for with blood and tears. She based her opinion on observations and facts, not upon pride; not upon the simple self-serving belief that she couldn’t be beaten.
She knew better.
With wounds born of blood or tears, those would always heal and fade over time. But she had learned long ago that pride carried an even heftier price. A fall due to pride could cause damage beyond repair or wounds that might never heal.
It was pride that made her lose her sister once. Her pride had made her ignore the pleas of her sister; cries for love and help. And what had pride gained Celestia then? The right to defend herself and all of Equestria against the wrath of Nightmare Moon followed by a thousand years of guilt. Those were experiences bought with pride.
But ever since Twilight Sparkle and her friends had released her sister from the Nightmare, those wounds were finally beginning to heal.
Or they had been.
Until today.
Bah! It was bad enough that this upstart was causing her so much grief! But in addition to that? She had been betrayed. Betrayed by her own blood and one she loved as if she was her own blood!
She had been stabbed in the back by both of them!
Her sister. Her boon companion for millennia had her own armies now and dared - dared - to wrestle control away from her; to depose her from her own lands!
This was unacceptable.
She would have to be dealt with.
Then there was her faithful student.
She had deemed herself on par with Celestia! Daring not only to challenge her for her lands, but to attempt to end her rule in its entirety!
Let the youngest princess try; Celestia knew all her tricks. By Tartarus! Celestia had taught her those tricks! Let her come. Let her armies invade the battlefield. Celestia would ground them into dust by morning.
Oh the suffering they would feel; the revenge she would deliver upon them.
It would be glorious.
But that could wait.
Those two were nothing but gnats before the threat of her true rival.
Celestia sat, staring across the field of battle, eyeing the death and blood and destruction before her. This day would bring finality, for only one of them would survive, and only one would reign in the end.
No quarter would be offered during this battle, for none could be given.
Celestia was not worried. She knew she would ultimately be triumphant! She would hold the glory of this day!
But first, she had to deal with the one that most threatened her. This foal!
It was time to send a message. To make her opponent understand the situation and to cower in fear. She knew the words that would carry across the carnage to reach the ears of her opponent. She inhaled and after a moment composing her thoughts, she gave voice to her message.
“I will end you.”
“Oh, really?! You and what army?!” came a squeaking angry retort.
“Do not ignore my threats, little one! Five hundred years ago, I defeated the Mad Griffon King with an army of nothing but a hoofful of wounded soldiers and I’ll defeat you here with naught much else!” Celestia’s voice dripped with malice.
“Blah blah blah! At the rate you’re losing battles you’re not going to have any soldiers much longer!” the squeaky voice rebutted.
“You dare?!” The room was suddenly repainted in blood reds, deep yellows, and haunted golds as Celestia’s mane took on the colors of an eerie evening sun.
“Bring it, Princess!” cried the squeaky voice in defiance.
Silence descended upon Sugar Cube Corner. All eyes now looked towards the table in the center room and its four occupants. Specifically, they watched a small, white unicorn filly with pink and purple mane, who stood half on the table and half on her chair and glared at the much larger alicorn opposite her. The alicorn glared right back. The other two sitting at the table, Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna, watched them warily, yet with mirth in their eyes.
Celestia’s eyes went cold and the colors of her mane darkened further. “Fine! Have at you then!” With a quick motion, she moved a hoofful of small colorful pieces across a map that sat on top of the table. They came to rest next to a larger pile of colorful pieces. “I attack!”
Not even looking at the map and the plastic armies upon it Sweetie Belle said calmly, “You’re doomed, Princess.” If she was disturbed by Celestia’s threats or ever darkening mane, she never let it show. “You’ll never survive this.”
“We’ll see, little one. We’ll see.”
“Twilight,” Luna interjected coolly. “I believe that my sister is about to meet her fate. What say you once this melee has been resolved, that we head towards yon southern continents and divvy the spoils? I do believe they will be quite unguarded and ripe for the taking.”
“Be quiet, sister of mine!” Celestia snapped. “I’ll deal with you and this other traitor” -she spared a glance towards the now smirking lavender alicorn on her right- “soon enough!”
Luna rolled her eyes and grinned. “Oh, please, Sweetie Belle has the high ground and the strength of her forces outclass yours by at least three to one!” She motioned to the map and the little piles of pieces scattered about. Celestia’s pile was significantly smaller than Sweetie Belle’s. “This filly is going to destroy you and you know it.”
“I have to concur, Celestia,” Twilight calmly stated running a hoof under her chin in contemplation studying the map. “The odds are heavily in her favor. Had you not attacked me trying to reuse your tactics in your victory against the dragons 627 years ago, you might have had at least enough forces to come close to evening the odds here and now.” She looked back to her former mentor. “But you didn’t. So now,” she tossed her leg in a throw away motion, “I believe she’s going to own you.”
Twilight smiled like a manticore bearing down upon something small and tasty for lunch: all teeth and no regrets.
Celestia sneered at the younger princess then snapped her head back to Sweetie Belle. A pair of dice levitated to the middle of the table wrapped in her magic’s golden glow. “Roll!”
Sweetie Belle levitated a pair of her own dice above the table. “Pucker up, buttercup!” she said without a trace of sympathy.
“SWEETIE BELLE! How dare you take the tone of voice with Princess Celestia! She may be your opponent in your game, but you must still show some respect!”
The table’s occupants turned to the voice originating from one of the neighboring tables. Rarity was eyeing her sister with a mixture of shock and reproach.
“But, Rarity! She’s about hit my pegasus division which has over thirty ponies to her nine! Not to mention I’ve also got five dragons, two squads of earth ponies and one unicorn wizard behind that! She’s only got one broken division of pegasi and squad of earth ponies! And she’s attacking up a hill!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, gesturing at the piles of game pieces on the map.
Rarity walked from her table where she and Applejack were paired against Big Mac and Granny Smith for a few rounds of bridge. She studied the map and its pieces laid out in front of her little sister.
“Oh! Oh, dear! You’re right. I’m so sorry Sweetie Belle,” she offered, chastened. She then turned to Celestia. “Princess, I never thought I would say this, but I do believe she is going to take your head. What were you thinking, attacking under these conditions? Yes, perhaps it would be appropriate for you to “pucker up”, I don’t believe this is going to be a pleasant for you.” There was a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.
The Princess of the Sun slitted her eyes and said in a cool tone, “Rarity, I revoke your invitation to this year’s Grand Galloping Gala.”
Rarity raised an elegant eyebrow in response.
“Never fear, Lady Rarity,” said Luna. “I hereby re-invite you to the gala! Huzzah!”
Rarity gave a small curtsy to the Princess of the Night then turned back smiling to her own table asking Applejack who had the next deal.
Turning back to Celestia, Sweetie Belle looked her right in the eyes and asked, “ready?”
“Yes! I have no doubt as to the outcome here.”
The young unicorn cocked her head. “Roll!”
The magic surrounding both sets of dice vanished and they dropped to the table dancing across its surface.
“Double sixes against double ones! I win!” cheered Sweetie Bell.
Celestia’s mane ceased its seemingly never-ending flow and its recent dark, ugly colors were suddenly replaced with sickly pinks, faded blues, and anemic greens. Her mouth swung open like a gallows trapdoor.
Luna reach over and swept her sisters now defunct army back into the box they originally came from. “Well, Sister. I do believe you have been defeated. And if I remember correctly, wasn’t there a wager when we started this game?”
“Yes, there was, Luna!” Twilight added chipperly. “I believe she wagered anything Sweetie Belle wanted for a snack should she win.”
“OH! I want an hot fudge sundae!” Sweetie Belle bounced in her seat with excitement.
“An excellent idea, Sweetie Belle! Make that two, Tia.”
“Yes! I agree. Three, please!”
Celestia hadn’t moved. Her eyes were still focused on the implements of her demise, two small cubes with a single pip on each. Slowly she raised her head to Sweetie Belle, her mane returned to its normal colors and began to yet again wave from some never ending celestial wind.
She cleared her throat.
“Young filly, throughout far too many years of conflict and war, I have never been so soundly defeated in such combat. I bow to your masterful grasp of tactics and strategy within this game. You have truly earned your reward.” She bowed her head in respect.
“Thank you, Princess Celestia! You played a really excellent game. Thank you for playing!”
“You’re quite welcome, little one.” Her smile towards Sweetie Belle was genuine. “However, as for you two,” she growled, looking at Luna and Twilight, “get your own ice cream!” With that, Celestia stood and marched to the counter and ordered a large hot fudge sundae with extra cherries from Pinkie Pie.
Behind her Sweetie Belle, Twilight, and Luna laughed as they pondered their own next moves in the game.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Orbiting Kettle · 1.3k words · 237 3 · 3k views
- Horizon Spark · 3.1k words · 148 3 · 3k views
- cursedchords · 8.5k words · 42 11 · 1.7k views
- Vic Fontaine · 3.1k words · 82 5 · 2.5k views
- qwefg · 3.1k words · 37 1 · 1k views
- GiantFunnyShark · 2.8k words · 26 5 · 1.6k views
- TundraStanza · 5.1k words · 34 2 · 1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.173 seconds
Total duration
915 users online
1,444,479 hits today, 2,724,632 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This was a fun read. The twist was predictable but it was still set up very well so I still laughed when it was revealed. Poor Celestia, I wonder if she'll be able to live this down
This made me chuckle. Well done.
This was a fun read. Looks like we might have a future royal soldier in Sweetie Belle. If Celestia would hire her after such a defeat. :P
Okay, without reading the rest the story, I want to make a prediction. They're playing some type of Risk, aren't they?
Called it!
Did not call that. Oh well, GO Sweetie Belle!
This story was absolutely wonderful. And even though the plot twist was predictable I'm still smiling. Absolutely brilliant.
It is a sign of greatness when you can see the joke coming and it is still funny.
It is a further sign of greatness when on top of that, you didn't see what came next and realise it exactly one line before the reveal and it is even funnier.
I know that Sweetie is a master-startegista, but win against Celestia? So much yes!
media.giphy.com/media/7glvOeZOzwre0/giphy.gif
Yes!
6660692
If Celestia didn't hire her, Luna do it.
6660692 I think that Celestia would hire her exactly because of it. Celestia isn't the kind to let such talent to go waste...
6662214
6661908
True that, Luna would totally hire her.
And I agree, how could she waste such talent? :D
6661220
Thank you! As a neophyte writer, that means a lot. It means I did my job right.
6662214
6661526
6662513
Great. Just, great.
Now you've got me wondering how all of this is going to play out in the future. Like I don't already have enough ideas in my head that I can't get written out properly! Ugh, and now ideas for some type of 'Chess Master Sweetie Belle' are starting to form in my head.
6662707
Heh sorry. I know the feeling though, I have a million ideas it seems for stories to write, some based on only little things and others on well my crazy dreams I get after a new episode/comic issue comes out. (For example, part of my current story changed while planning it thanks to the current arc in the comic book series.)
Hopefully we can all write brilliant things that pop into our mind(or that others help pop into our mind teehee.)
Given the soft spot I have for Sweetie Belle, there was no way I could not like this story
Very cute. X3
I will confess: you had me fooled for a little while; I was gearing up to downvote and voice my utter bafflement at the vote ratio. Of course, that made it all the sweeter and more fun when I caught on. Well done, my good Sir or Madam, a sweet and fun little piece, which I ultimately enjoyed greatly.
Oh i actually thought there was a war going on you got me so good.But now im sad that i couldn't come up with this first but ah well this isn't a competition
Sweetie General, reporting for duty!
Sweetie Belle then gets a cutie mark in warfare strategy.
That was very worth a good giggle :) Thank you.
6662707 At the very least, she needs a war tactics cutie mark, I mean, she just owned somepony with 1000+ years of combat experience, who's good at it.
This is pre-Crusaders of the Lost Cutie-Mark right?
6669998
It is now.
The genre tags pretty much spoiled it right away, I guessed just from the synopsis what it would be all about. Still entertaining, though.
Now, Celestia against all three Cutie Mark Crusaders, on the other hoof...that would be enough chaos worthy of Discord.
6672364
Yeah, I understand. I've only started posting stories but I'm learning that you have to balance the information you should/must give to the reader vs the information that you do/don't want to give to the reader when you write the blurb and add the tags. Sometimes you just have to give up info to ensure your audience ends up happy.
For example, If I left the 'comedy' tag off I have a feeling there would have been a lot of people upset that they got comedy. But I'm OK with using the comedy tag. It feels more like 'truth in advertising' or such even though it does start pointing readers towards where it's all going in the end. Yeah, a lot of folks can usually figure out the twist or hook or underlying idea from such info, but that doesn't always mean a story will be flat or bad. But, in the end, I got the audience I was after, and I think people who have read it are happy with what they got.
So, thank you for reading it and I'm glad you enjoyed it. This also means that my blurb and tag choices were good ones (at least, as far as I'm concerned - others may disagree, but I'm biased.
)
I completely forgot this thing was a comedy despite seeing the comedy tag, when I came back to read it due to other stuff. I'm reading through and then it mentions pieces and I'm sitting here pissed because i thought this was a real battle, all and all I liked it was good threw me off my game there. Well done!
6672567
The other thing to consider is that the website allows people to search for stories based on tags, so making your tags incomplete could mean your story gets passed over by someone looking for a Comedy.
6673176
Very true. So, yup, gotta balance giving away some info against making sure potential readers can make a good choice if they wanna read a story or not.
That's Sweetie for you
Fun! Feels like it could be the same universe as https://www.fimfiction.net/story/184016/another-cup-of-tea-madam ?
6678289
I don't know that story, but I'll have to go check it out. Thanks!
Sweetie Belle's future: Warlord of Equestria.
Behold Sweetie Belle: Future Princess/Goddess of war.
Hey if Twilight gets wings for being great with magic then Sweetie should get a pair for being epic at warfare.
I see a glorious future for Sweetie Belle as Grand Marshal of Equestria, leading the glorious armies of the Princesses to victory in a war which will most likely be started by Princess Luna's antiquated mannerisms.
This was both funny and adorable!
I knew it was a board game from the first sentence, and all the hyperbole afterward just made it funnier and funnier. Kudos.
6733692 I'll piggyback on Vutava's comment, as it's basically mine too. I'll just add that Sweetie's take on proceedings was certainly the best bit.
6733692
6739880
Yeah, I wasn't going for earth-shattering new territory here, just comfortably amusing. I'd like to think that I succeeded.
thx!
After reading the first sentence, I'm thinking they're playing a game like "Risk" or something. Let's see if I'm right.
Edit: CALLED IT!
6660692
... If you can't beat them, make sure they're on your side. Your enemies probably can't either.
6680978
ALL HAIL OUR NEW EMPERORESS!!!
7016145 Long into the future, Sweetie Belle will overthrow the Alicorns and bring upon the land the Rule of Sweetie Belle. She shall trod the jeweled crowns of Alicorns beneath her hooves and sit upon a thrown with her crown upon a troubled brow.
Cute and sweet. I liked =3
Poor Celestia, trying to use real world experience in a board game. Can't just Solar Blast your way out of this one.
Rise against the Tyrant Celestia!
We shall lift our new reigning monarchs in their quest to free Equestria and bring in a new age of Harmony!
Attack!
Seeing Celestia's face in the cover picture would make me think about pocketing my dice and slipping quietly away. But then again, with a hot fudge sundae on the line, maybe it's time to pony up and go for it.
Cry Havoc, and Let Slip the Diamond Dogs of War
Warhammer: Age of Celestia?
Roll for initiative
B-e-a-utiful.
Cute interaction between the two.