Sweetie Brick

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Soothing Road Rage

"Rrrrgh!" Wildfire snarled. Her earth brown eyes turned red as she leaned forward at the end of her wagon's riggings. "Come onnnn! Celestia damn traffic!" Her nostrils flared as she stamped her hooves into the ground. "What's with all the hold-up?!"

A congested intersection blocked up the middle of Ponyville. As Wildfire craned her neck to see beyond the thick line of wagoneers, she spotted several firefighters struggling to erect a ladder before a tall oak tree rooted alongside Carousel Boutique. A bored-looking persian cat sat on an overhanging branch while a distressed unicorn pointed up at. Rarity pleaded and pleaded with the firefighters, all the while pausing to sob into the shoulder of a muscled stallion in uniform.

As Wildfire leaned back, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end. "Are you kidding me?!" Her squealing voice morphed into a draconian snarl. "Are you bucking kidding me?!"

She thrashed about, unabashedly imitating several species of wolverines as she kicked the air and hissed, causing several nearby commuters to squirm nervously.

"All of this for a friggin' cat stuck up in a tree?! I have to go to work! I have to pay my bills! I swear to all that is holy, I'm going to find whoever is responsible and make her eat her own horseshoes! I... I..."

Her forehead had turned blood red at this point. Veins popped along her temples and she was seconds away from foaming at the mouth. As her trembles quadrupled, a cold sweat formed over her body, and she reached back into her wagon, scrounging around until she finally grasped what she was looking for.

Wildfire dragged Sweetie Belle out by her tail. She fumbled a bit, ultimately dangled the filly limply before her, and pressed her lips over the foal's mouth. She proceeded to breathe in and out at regular intervals. Sweetie Belle's marshmallowy body expanded and contracted with mute little squeaks. This went on for a good minute and a half, during which Wildfire's eyes melted back to a cool and inviting brown. The hairs along her neck relaxed and even her wings retracted along her sides.

At last, she breathed calmer and dropped Sweetie Belle altogether. The filly deflated like a rubber balloon besides the pegasus' relaxed hooves.

"You know... so what? Big deal?" Wildfire's thin eyes hung serenely above a placid smile. "The cat probably means a lot to the mare. I'd totally call in everypony I could to save something so special to me. It's nothing to get upset about. Besides, its' a beautiful day--"

Just then, two stray dogs rushed in between the vehicles, bit onto opposite sides of Sweetie Belle, and fought for the scraps of foalish flesh. In their battle, they knocked over Wildfire's wagon, spilling engine parts and cartons of grease everywhere.

Wildfire blinked, then regained her snarling demeanor. "Oh motherbucker--!"

Comments

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Ouch...

Poor Sweetie...

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Art Inspired]

This chapter's secretly clop. Isn't it?

[tiep0h]

Can I... ship this?

[MerlosTheMad]

Just then, two stray dogs rushed in between the vehicles, bit onto opposite sides of Sweetie Belle, and fought for the scraps of foalish flesh. In their battle, they knocked over Sibsy's wagon, spilling engine parts and cartons of grease everywhere.

My mind is filled with confusion the likes of which not even Gandalf could hope to unravel.

[punzil504]

Upvoted due to Sibsy cameo.

[aetherdash]

Save her! you cant use her after the dogs are done!

[FlameingToast]

What. It's just- I don't even. but I'm laughing at whatever this is, so...
It's good I guess.

[RedvsBlue327]

"Just then"

Words that I recurrently see associated with spontaneous madness, which I now have learned to fear...

[Vibrant lies]

If you read, hear, or say the keys to the world of madness expect sudden, impossible, improbable, randomness. Exspecially this one,

[Inferno demon Dash]

HOLY BUCK!!!! Do they even notice she's a living, breathing filly? Gods damn

[Lag Incarnate]

Is it bad that it's easy for me to envision this?

[Blaze3713]

Um, not to create a major nitpick, but Sibsy's character is named Wildfire. Just mentioning it, and otherwise this is a funny chapter.

[FiM Fact]

...and pressed her lips over the foal's mouth

I need an adult.

[Izarra Kiania]

3459106 Wildfire is an adult!

[Bandana The Reaper]

3459578 I need another adult!

[Magical Trevor]

... Umm... Did I... just unwittingly read Foalcon?

I... I feel dirty...

[ThePristineEye]

As her trembles quadrupled, a cold sweat formed over her body, and she reached back into her wagon, scrounging around until she finally gasped what she was looking for.

I think you meant grasped not gasped.

[IceQB]

3460644 she's a brown bag... you know... for hyperventilating patients and barfing? :3

[keaton-furman-prower]

3460534 Did somepony ask for an adult?

[Door Matt]

3463102
Oh it's you!
The one who write all those Celestia replies in the Letters fic. Those were amaze-balls! Can I have your autograph?

[Regidar]

3457328 downvoted for the same reason

[Bad_Seed_72]

The fuck, Skirts?!

[Swashbucklist]

Cats can actually get down from trees just fine. If a cat can free-fall twenty stories and bounce back (true story, search for the article), any cat - when ready - can and will get back down from a stupid tree. Even Opal.

[Spencer Lightning Write]

I have no idea what the fuck is going on here… yea, that's all I got.
*Mozart is here, he is traveling through time. Whit keyboard, I prevent future crimes…* it's half four in the morning in Britain, and I'm sociopathic
*ring around the roses… a pocket full of…* you get the extremely gory point :3

-Lightning

[The Rarispy]

She fumbled a bit, ultimately dangled the filly limply before her, and pressed her lips over the foal's mouth.

[Mur Im A Pony]

Gosh, so many uses........ where can I buy a Sweetie Bell?

[CapNTilfy]

I almost feel sorry for Sweetie Belle...almost. XD