- Member Since 26th Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 22nd, 2019
Aegis Shield
Also known as "TtheWriter" on youtube, if you're into Dungeons and Dragons stuff. :3
Aegis Shield
Joined 26th Feb, 2012 ·
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Well... that was... that was that i suppose. poor rarity.
wow that was creepy..... i need more like this
holy hell this was awesome
pointless and senseless
Classic horror short. Well contained, nice timing.
well that was. . .
different
Whoa. . . not what I was expecting. Love it!
Huh... now I am curious as to what happens next.
i40.tinypic.com/9teols.jpg
th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/233/b/6/twilight_is_table_flipping_mad_by_sketchinetch-d5bx3cf.png
Good story though.
Good setup, disappointing payoff.
EDIT: This was marked as complete at time of comment. I doubt adding more chapters can salvage it, though.
This is why I sleep on the floor.
Well that was .egnarts
next time, save story for Halloween.
Well...shit.
i.imgur.com/OOSWLFC.gif
You had a decent setup and caught my attention with it, yet you ended it too quickly.
I find the timing of this being posted really creepy.
Just last night, this came across my tumblr dash-
(though it apparently originated here http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1iwylh/what_is_the_best_horror_story_you_can_come_up/ )
So needless to say, I saw it coming as soon as I read the blurb. Still a good read.
Wow, you must be the next M. Night Shyamalan. Except without the Sixth Sense.
...............What just happened?
Meh.
...Wow. Best horror I've read. This one actually creepped me out.
So you tuck your sister in and kiss her goodnight when she says "There is a monster in the room". You tell her there's no monsters but she says, "I am under the bed". THEN WHO WAS BED?
Rarity, Rarity, Rarity...
You should know better than to disturb a resting Bed Monster Changeling. They get awfully cranky when suddenly awoken.
That last bit needs that slow, scarily descending violin sound effect (does anybody know what that is called? Words are failing me...) as Rarity stands up from under the bed and reaches out to "Sweetie Belle" in the pillows.
2940618 Its usually called a "string sting".
2940501 ohm nom nom
2940448 stay tuned for more.
2940352 there's more to come, its not complete.
2940360 most fan-fiction is pointless, but almost none of it is senseless.
2940368 There's more to come, its not complete,
2940593 I got a writing prompt for this one, not too bad of a turn-out.
2940461 Oh wow, that's really close to the writing prompt I received from someone. Something about "tell the best horror story you can in two sentences." He asked me to make it something pony, so I did.
2940646
So it's not over huh? Well let's see just what was hiding down there and what happened to Rarity.
o3o, so there's more to this story huh? Interesting.
I mean, it works as a creepy short story the leaves everything up to your imagination. But more, ohh I can't wait.
*just say the tag got changed from 'complete' to 'incomplete'.*
I don't know why I like it.
Upon reading the description of the monster I thought it is one ugly mutha ******
The only thing is, I don't quite understand the way you spaced the "Rarity's eyes drifted upward" line from the rest of the chapter. Otherwise, you have a pretty solid writing style, and I'm interested to know where this is going.
That...That was good
2941272 Its very hard to convey a dramatic pause in text. The only real way to make a reader stop reading is to give them an obnoxious white space and to make them scroll down-- literally forcing them to pause, then giving them the rest of the text. It should be used very, very sparingly as it can annoy a reader if relied upon. But seeing it once in a blue moon can convey either terror (to leave your reader hanging) or slow motion (in a cinematic sense).
So... yeah it was necessary, it was more of a stylistic choice, haha. XD
2941272 I dunno, I think it was pretty effective.
It un- nerved me.
2941272
I think that the spacing was to give the reader the sense that she was slowly looking upward or something. I mean, wouldn't you if your younger sibling was under the bed while they were also sleeping in it?
A knock on the door in the middle of the night,
I groggily wake, only in darkness in my sight.
A flick of the switch, the light reveals more,
The knocking comes again, from within my closet door.
I like to imagine this was the outcome:
What the...
Really well done, can't wait for more.
...You are going to update, right?
2941814 The next chapter is almost done.
...I'm favoriting this, because my curiousity demands to know what the hell is going on.
2941653
Another option I've seen is to just go on with irrelevant details. It's hard to pull off well, though.
2941795 =O
dat monster!
Really? This makes no sense.
2942165 Its only chapter one. Its not supposed to make sense yet.
You've earned my curiosity. I love ceepypasta-type stories.
2942172
I see. Well, I'll be expecting an explanation of this.
Ddrunk! Good storku : !
This story totally reminded me of this...
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6017383424/hDAF4F4CB/
Just asking, is this "thing" a self made creature or is it based on a creepy pasta story? Just curious.
Nice story. I like it
.
*gasp*
Master has released new chapter, in less than one hour! Are you not excited?
You need to stop reading so much fanfiction.
2941795 up intill now I hadn't seen the end of that vid, not as scarey with that end.