• Member Since 6th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen May 20th

CrowMagnon


Sequels1

E

In a world where the Sonic Rainboom never occurred and tied the Mane 6 together, they found themselves taking drastically different paths in life. Nevertheless, they still managed to find one another and stand together when Equestria needed them most.

It's now several months after the Elements of Harmony chose their new bearers, and the citizens of Ponyville are about to take part in Winter Wrap-Up. Their plans are soon disrupted, however, by an ancient, unknown enemy with a desire to seize the Elements and an icy hatred for Celestia and Luna!


(This is an Alternate Universe fic, and the characterizations for the altered Mane 6 were inspired by defender2222)

Takes place before: Lunar Eclipse: The Rock Opera

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 299 )

So, here's my first attempt at an MLP fic. Even if you skipped over the tags and description, you can probably tell by now that this is an Alternate Universe story, and the Mane 6 have had dramatically different lives both before and after becoming the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.

Chronologically, this story takes place a few months after they gained the Elements and saved Equestria. There are plans for a story that covers this period, but I just didn't want to kick off my first fic with what would basically be a re-write of the Nightmare Moon arc. Here are a few details that will help to fill in some of the gaps:

* The Mane 6 never fought Nightmare Moon. Instead, the villain who kicked everything off was a body-hopping spirit named Eclipse who caused Princess Luna to fall into a thousand-year coma and waged war on Equestria for ten years before Princess Celestia was able to trap it.
* Nightmare Night is replaced by Waking Night. Instead of disguising themselves to hide from Luna's evil alter ego, ponies would dress up and carouse loudly on the anniversary of Luna's fall in the hopes of waking her from her slumber. It was on Waking Night that the Mane 6 first met and faced Eclipse.

As for how the Mane 6 and their experiences are different, I'll get more into that as the story progresses, but this chapter should provide enough clues to get you started.

I'd like to take a moment to recognize and thank defender2222 for the inspiration for this alternate version of the Mane 6, RainbowDoubleDash for creating one of the most comprehensively awesome AU continuities with the Lunaverse, and all the fans who create the quality content that make being a brony worth it.

Also, I swear on Celestia's horn that I started developing this concept before I ever knew about notMurphy's "A Minor Variation". Any similarities are purely coincidental, but if you like this concept, go check that story out as well: link

Well, I do have to say, you've caught my interest with this story. And if defender2222 has helped you out on writing this, then I know it's going to be good (seriously, I love Faith and Doubt and The Abundence). And don't worry, so far this doesn't seem anything like "A Minor Variation", other than the fact that Rarity also has Spike and Pinkie is still Pinkamena. Anyway, congrats on getting this started, and hope to see an update soon.

You got my interested with the idea of a Rainboomless AU, yet we still have the Main 6 saving the day. I like how you've written each of them, it still feels in keeping with who they are in the real FiM'verse yet still not just the same characters over again. This one is getting a star and I'm looking forward to reading more.

Liking it so far. Especially Business Mare Applejack.

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Yeah. I like that idea of a AU like that too.

So, Pinkie is Pinkamena, is a poet, and best friends with high class and apparently quite wealthy Applejack.

You got my attention with just that. I will be favoriting! :pinkiecrazy:

1583487>>1584769>>1585795>>1592781
Thanks for the kind words and favorites, all of you. I'll certainly try to live up to that early vote of confidence. I'm also glad for those who like Poet Pinkamena and Businessmare Applejack, because so far they're the trickiest to write for while keeping them recognizably connected to their canon incarnations. In particular, I can't tell you how hard it is to write AJ without her trademark accent.

:ajbemused: Ah ain't got no ack-cent!

Sure you don't...

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I just in general like AUs where Applejack is a businessmare....and not a complete ass about . That alone made me love this and want to keep reading.

Got a lot of work done on Chapter 2 this weekend, so I'll try to have it posted in a few days. Two words: Musical number!

And for those who didn't run away at that last sentence, who wants to play a round of "Name That Element"? I know clues are scarce with just one chapter for examples, but I'm interested in seeing what people might guess.

1593172 If you ever need an extra set of eyes or a sounding board, feel free to ping me. I've not done any FiM Fic, but I've done quite a bit of my own work.

Heya! It's me, HyuugaLord19 from Writing.com!

I will track this story with great interest. Let's see where this goes...

My apologies for some of the font colors in this one. I know that yellow, pink and silver are difficult to make out against the white background, but the color palette turned out to be a lot more limited than I hoped it would be. Likewise, re-writing the song lyrics turned out to be trickier than I expected, but I had a lot of fun coming up with new verses to fit the characters. After all, for the most part they aren't explaining Winter Wrap-Up to an audience unfamiliar with the concept, but are rather describing what it means to them.

The Apple Clan also ended up dominating more of this chapter than expected, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. It's a good way of showing how the different lives the Mane 6 have led affects not just them, but those around them.

Hmm... *reads the comments* An AU that doesn't seem to bastardized the Mane6 or the princesses... might give it a read...

One chapter in and I'm impressed. Ok... so Poet Pinkie, Farmer Rarity, Businessmare AJ, Military Twilight, "Alchemist" Rainbow, not sure about Fluttershy yet.

Interesting beginning; I'm now intensely curious about how Rainbow Dash came to be Zecora's Padawan student. :twilightsmile: Keep up the good work!

Two chapter in... well It's going to be interesting to see where this will go.

I liked the song! It was quite clever, the way you did the lyrics and everything. Though it seems to me that Pinkamena is still quite a mysterious figure. We don't know much about this universe's Pinkie just yet. 'Course, she's my favorite character so I'm just biased to being more curious about her! :pinkiecrazy:

Annnyway, I felt bad for poor Applejack, especially if you remember how close her and Applebloom were in the show!

All in all, I enjoyed this chapter! :raritystarry: And I look forward to more.

Nothing quite disarms like discovering your opponent has burst out into song... and an infectious one at that. :)

Nice use of Winter Wrap-up and slipping cutie marks in as well. I also liked how things are turning out with the Apple family and Pinkamena's dry whit. I really am enjoying the story so far and I'm looking forward to seeing more!

1638797 Thanks, and in Fluttershy's case, she's in the confidence-building line of work alongside Iron Will with the two of them doing seminars and writing books as a duo. Of course, that's not to say she's :flutterrage: all the time.

1638801 I appreciate the compliment, and I won't get too deep into specifics here, but I can tell you that Dash's cutie mark is a clue. :twilightblush:

1638928 I promise you, more will be revealed about all of the Mane 6, including the poetic Pinkamena Pie. I'll certainly be trying to do her justice considering how different she is from her canon self, but at the same time I think you'll find that some aspects of her character are surprisingly similar to the lovable party pony, if expressed in different ways.

As for Applejack and Apple Bloom, yeah, I was thinking about how close they are in the canon 'verse the whole time I was writing that scene with the two of them. Ironically, it made it easier to write out the schism between them in this story, because I just imagined Apple Bloom growing up knowing that she has a big sister that her grandmother and big brother talk about from time to time, but she almost never sees.

1641215 Winter Wrap-Up is an INSANELY catchy song. And it was fun having the antagonist turn it into a Villain Song in the last verse. Even crazypants evil creatures can't resist! And I'm glad that the reveal of the altered cutie marks worked. I was a little worried that it would come across too much as 'hey, let's pull out of the story to look at this thing for a moment!' so I tried to work them in as naturally as I could.

1642703 I haven't read the second chapter yet, but thanks for the heads-up! :twilightsmile:

1638547 Mac: The Editor here, and I plagiarize this message!

1638696 I always use the white-on-black, so font colors that are dark end up being the ones I hate.:rainbowderp::pinkiesmile:

The sun will part to let the sun shine through

Wat.

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Yay! Poetic Pinkie Pie! That's fun to say... Annyway, I'm looking forward to mysteries being resolved and answers being unveiled. I can see how hard it is to reconcile the pink party pony with the poetic Pinkamena. I eagerly await more details on just how she turned out like this. :pinkiehappy:

That does sound like it would be tough in Applebloom. This big sister who is supposed to be an Apple, and a great pony, and she's really just kind of a disappointment to the little filly. And when you think of the two of them working together on Sweet Apple Acres in canon... Well, I admire how you made it seem so plausible!

Very interesting; poor Applejack. I liked the song; and I have a few guesses about RD's Cutie Mark.

This is definitely proving interesting so far! :pinkiehappy:

Oh nice! I can't wait to read what comes next.

1659803 Thanks! I'll try not to disappont. :twilightsmile:

This was a pretty hard chapter to write. It went through a number of permutations in my head before finally settling into what you see here. As it is I probably need to promise not to juggle so many characters in one scene. I'll probably end up breaking that promise before too long, though.

That said, it was still a lot of fun to write. You know, when I started, I had no idea that that Derpy Hooves was going to be in it, but as soon as I got the idea to put her into the scene at the start of the chapter, her presence just fit so well I had to give her a bit more of a supporting role. Especially when I settled on her characterization.

For the record, I absolutely love the Lunaverse and Trinary's "Rainbooms & Royalty" depictions of Ditzy Doo as a kind, wise and loving single mom. Ditzy Doo is a wonderful character. For the purposes of this setting, though, I wanted to celebrate the alternate, 'derpier' side of how she's depicted in fanon. There is no Ditzy Doo here, only Zuul--I mean, Derpy Hooves!

Also, I'd like to thank Super Big Mac and Leo Archon for their help pre-reading the previous two chapters. I decided to just post this one since the last couple weren't too error-laden, but if anyone finds some while reading, please let me know!

Also, I'm posting a bounty of five mustaches for the first reader who can correctly guess which of the Mane 6 is assigned to which Element of Harmony by this point. You know you want 'em. :moustache:

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Twilight's Magic.
AJ's Generosity.
Pinkamena's Honesty or Loyalty.
Rarity's Loyalty or Laughter.
Fluttershy's Laughter or Honesty.
Dash's Kindness.

1723836 Sorry, Mac, no points for 'or' guesses. And I should have mentioned before, but none of them are the bearer of their canon Element.

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:twilightsmile: Loyalty
:rainbowderp: Kindness
:pinkiesad2:Honesty
:flutterrage: Laughter
:ajsmug: Generosity
:duck: Magic

Flutters and Pinkie are pretty hard to guess for. I almost wanted to say Magic for Pinkamena.

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:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

You got it! But I'm deducting a mustache since it's your second try.

... Ah, what the heck. :moustache:

I'm a little surprised that it was Fluttershy and Pinkamena that gave you trouble, though, only because I expected Rarity and Rainbow Dash to throw people off more. Aside from Rarity having hatched Spike, she hasn't shown much of why she's the Element of Magic yet. Is it because Rainbow Dash is a pegasus? That's tribalism, that is! :raritywink:

1725867 Nah, it's because it's been stated that Dash takes care of animals. Fluttershy, we've not seen much of.

Oh, poor Derpy, she got so close to the right answer. I hope she's okay.

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Will Derpy's display cause her to dive into her doom? Or will the ditzy damsel defy the deadly danger?

Will Applejack apply appropriate agricultural aptitude and acquire Apple Bloom's affection?

Will Pinkamena Pie ever present a properly pleased profile?

Stay tuned for the answer to at least one of these questions in Chapter 4: The Griffonal Projective or I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For The Ice Queen!

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:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::pinkiehappy:

Careful there, you don't want to hurt yourself with all that alliteration. :)

Woo~ :yay:

This chapter was absolutely brilliant!

1848569 Thanks! :pinkiehappy:
I worked really hard on it, especially the Twilight and Derpy sections, so I'm glad you liked it.

Another great part, and I really liked what you did with Depry, nicely done :)

1904451 Thank you very much. That means a lot. :twilightblush:

I have to admit, for a little while I was worried about whether or not I'd be able to do right by Derpy here. As much as I enjoy the 'Ditzy Doo' characterization of her as fanonized in the Lunaverse or Rainbooms & Royalty (hard-working and utterly devoted single mom with a minor disability) I really wanted to try to celebrate the derpiness from her original, unedited canon appearance. :derpytongue2:

Of course, in the process, she ended up in the role of a horror movie victim here... but hey, she'll have plenty of company in that regard before the story's over!

:derpytongue2: Yay! I love company!

1907294 I do like the return to that version of her. Slightly klutzy, good hearted and an over all good person. As for her ended up a victim, she does fight back, and many she'll become a key part of saving the day in the end. Maybe coming out of nowhere when it looks the darkest for a Big Damn Hero moment, only to not quite save the day as only she can. :derpytongue2:

I wonder what she expected Derpy to kill her WITH...

...I don't think Rarity will be too pleased that this is her predecessor to the Element :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, I enjoyed this bit of world building and I really liked how you wrote it in first person. You managed to get the sense across that Gertrude wasn't exactly right in her accusations, but still not have her realize it and that's a tricky thing to do. Plus, I like the idea that she and other beings of great power used to wield the Elements. It's an interesting history to create for this.

Comment posted by CrowMagnon deleted Jan 13th, 2013

1951833 Well, Gertrude isn't exactly right in the head. If you were to ask her, I'm sure she could come up with some sort of rationalization, like the Princesses didn't expect Derpy to actually hurt her, they just sent her as a message that they're on to her. As it is, she simply isn't thinking much about it.

1952538 Thanks, I really appreciate the compliments. :twilightsheepish: Though I should point out that in this 'verse, it isn't Rarity who represents Generosity. Still, I can just imagine Canon!Rarity's reaction. :raritycry::raritydespair::raritycry::raritydespair:

Good chapter. So Gertrude was one of the Elements of Harmony along with Celestia and Luna. What was her Element? Who were the last three holders?

1953215 Thanks. Back in the day, Gertrude was the Element of Generosity.

As for the other three, I'm hoping to make more stories in this AU featuring them so I don't want to give too much away, but I can tell you that the one who acted as Warden of Spring was a zebra named 'Shangwe ya Maisha', and the Warden of Summer was a boisterous canine known as Fido the Sun Dog.

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Right, right! I was thinking of canon!Rarity. And no need to thank me, all the compliments are quite truthful :pinkiehappy:

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