• Member Since 5th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

CrowMagnon


E
Source

This story is a sequel to Griffon the Heave-ho


An Eclipseverse story.

After another of the Crusaders' misadventures in trying to make their cutie marks appear, they turn to the Mane 6 for advice. One by one, they learn how Equestria's saviors discovered their special talents. This may sound familiar, but the tales these six heroines have to tell will not be.

(Cover art by Tom Preston)

Chapters (7)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 71 )

Nice story for Flutters...so who did write those?

Also, wow sorry kids, sad story coming in.

5391956
I think I know, but it's supposed to be a surprise... unless you know the source material :trixieshiftright:

It is an interesting start. I am curious to see how it goes. I actually got a little emotional during Fluttershy and Iron Will's song. :twilightblush:

5391784
5391956
5392287
Thanks, guys. :twilightsmile: Hopeful seems to be on the right track. All of the catch phrases came from an episode of the show, so identify the source there, and you've got it.

Any confusion that this might cause will be explained in the epilogue. :trollestia:

And Hopeful, I'm very glad that I was able to effect someone like that. It means a lot.

Should I read the prequels first, or can I read this by it self?

Kinda hard to say from my own perspective, but I think that it should be accessible enough without reading the others first.

Wow. Nice job with RD, I didn't think it could be a happy ending with the origin she has.

5991472 She's had a rough time of it, but she'll always keep pushing forward. :rainbowdetermined2:

Interesting. I thought The Doctor and Derpy only influenced Fluttershy's past, and everything else was a straight chain reaction from that single point. Kind of like a butterfly affect type of thing. So that part was in the forest was unexpected.

It does a pretty good job weaving the events in this story with what happens in Griffon the Heave-ho. Tells enough that you can understand it separately, but is by no means redundant.

A part of me wonders whatever happened to that little bird now.

5992365 All will be revealed in time... and then you'll probably have me burned in effigy. :raritywink:

A fantastic chapter. Great job.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

So far, this looks like it is some pretty darn good stuff. Excellent mixture of emotional content, humor and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this, but am quite willing to be patient.

6010665 Thanks, and you shouldn't have to wait long. The next three are bound to be rather short, so I'm going to spend the weekend on those.

Hm... so that's why Spike acts so much younger in the stories.

6021258
Well, he IS younger. He was actually hatched about half a year ago here, but physically and mentally, he's like a four year old.

Another great chapter. Well done.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

6021638 Thanks. This one was fun because I didn't have to go too in-depth about what was different, which let me play around more with just framing it as a children's story the way Rarity told it to Spike and the Crusaders.

Once again, this is an excellent chapter. :-D Excellent exchanges, emotional content and humor in all the right places. :-D I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow. :-D

6025219 Well thank you! I always hope to please. :twilightsmile:

I really enjoyed this chapter. You did a great job with Applejack.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

Excellent job on this latest chapter. It might have taken a while, but was well worth the wait. Again, the exchanges, emotional content, humor and future chapter set-up were all quite well-done. I'm definitely going to be looking forward to the last two chapters as soon as you can find the time and inspiration. :-D

Okay, now I really want to know what happened to cause this. I mean the others are a bit of something I can figure out or at least speculate on, but where did a rooster come from?

6122212
6122308
6122621
Thanks guys, and sorry about the delay. I spent the past two weeks dog-sitting, and it's difficult to find the time to write properly when you're surrounded by animals who seem to deliberately choose the most inconvenient moments possible to pester you.

And there are three more chapters, actually. One each for Pinkamena and Twilight, and a finale that should tie it all together and answer your questions. Hopefully, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

6122699

Believe me, I can completely understand concerning real life concerns. And thanks for the correction. :-D

Well, this was fun.

More like scary.:twilightoops: Sounds like Pinkie made contact with an Something. Anyway, good chapter.

Went back on a whim. Found hidden text. Does Pinkie's experience have anything to do with Tirek?

I know that you're aware my weathervane doesn't even turn in that direction."

combination of countryism and indication toward Applejack's sexuality (or lack thereof).

6145478 Glad you pointed that out. I would have missed it. Just figured it was a long dramatic pause to indicate the blank spot in Pinkamena's memory, and not her (re-dacted due to possible consequence on future point of story line and yet to be revealed by CrowMagnon).

Not much I can say other than. As usual, excellent job on this latest chapter. The emotional content, humor and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. And, given the tendency toward alliteration in this story's chapters, I'm going to guess the next chapter is going to be called "Twilight's Tale" or something similar. Well, at any rate, I will be looking forward to the next chapter as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6145716

And, given the tendency toward alliteration in this story's chapters, I'm going to guess the next chapter is going to be called "Twilight's Tale" or something similar.

*glares and starts furiously erasing his scribbled notes* :ajbemused:

Heh, thanks for enjoying it so far, though. :twilightsheepish:

6145478

Does Pinkie's experience have anything to do with {redacted}?

Spoilers! :derpytongue2: And good on you for finding the hidden text! I was just about to make a mention of it in the author's note, but you found it first.

6145657

combination of countryism and indication toward Applejack's sexuality (or lack thereof).

At this point in the story, Fluttershy and Applejack are currently the only two of the Mane 6 in steady relationships. Unless somebody volunteers to take care of it for me, I'll eventually get around to AJ introducing her marefriend to her friends and family in Ponyville.

So, instead of having the rock open for her she had to fight for it, and because of that her whole destiny changed. One was a gift, one was self determination...

6153897 Well, your face is one I haven't seen in a while. :twilightsmile: Salutations to you, and yeah. The time and effort that went into it altered Rarity's perspective on her 'prize', ultimately leading her down a different path. That and being so exhausted that by the time she got back, she didn't have the time to apply sufficient fabulosity to the costumes. Rarity's version of the story sort of glosses over that part, though. :raritywink:

6154226 I've been a bit behind on reading, but I'm trying to catch up :)

I'm really enjoying this story, it's a nice change off the original episode and I like the new back stories. I also like it wasn't one key change that did it, but a lot of smaller ones.

I helped edit this. Praise be to me.

A+ on the fancy pants formating, it helped the mental picture.

Hey there. Excellent job on this second-to-last chapter. The exchanges, emotional content, humor, action and final chapter set-up were ALL quite well done. I'll definitely be looking forward to the final chapter as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

No one has commented on this yet? (it seems someone did while I was reading it) This chapter was amazing for crying out loud! An interesting backstory as to why Celestia had Twilight try to hatch the dragon egg in the first place. Also makes me a lot more curious about what Trixie is like in this reality.

Also, I think you forgot a ---- between two of Twilight's fantasies: specifically between Trixie plunging to her death after kissing Twilight, and Twilight scouring the remnants of her former home after a monster attack.

It's actually kind of amusing that her last fantasy at what life might be like if she accepted would actually be what would happen, mirroring canon with the exception of having a friend and associate student.

6237145
6237366

Thanks for the kind words! I tried to save the best for last. :pinkiehappy:

And yeah, I realized that after the fact, too. It's fixed now. And thanks for picking up on what I was going for with the last fantasy. Of course, in canon she actually succeeded in doing the near-impossible, thanks to the Sonic Rainboom triggering her magic surge, so I think that persistent fear of failure would have been even more pervasive if she had accepted Celestia's offer without hatching Spike's egg.

A very enjoyable chapter. Well done.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache: Although I can't help but feel a little sorry for Twilight for having that kind of special talent. Sure she finds the best option in the end, but she has to consider a lot of bad stuff first. That's a big burden for one person especially as a child.

6237919
Thanks, and yeah. Twilight's talent is very much a mixed blessing for exactly that reason. It's a burden that she's willing to accept because it makes her a great tactician who can protect her friends and neighbors, but she relies on those she's close to in order to keep from burning out.

I really loved this and really all the other Eclipse-Verse stories too the way you manage to keep all the characters true too canon personalities even when their lives are so different is awesome I can't wait to read the final chapter of this and after that get back to Griffon the Heave-ho and hopefully waking night after that either way ill look forward to whatever you produce next

6263422 Thank you! It's always gratifying to see someone say they enjoy my work. And I'm especially glad that you like the way the characters are handled, because that's one of the things I've always tried to do, keeping certain core aspects of each character intact even when a casual glance would make it look like they're completely different.

Now that's what I call a twist ending, though it's ironic the canon Doctor in Origins thought he created this timeline by accident when it was an alternate universe group of TARDIS travelers who were responsible.

Just one editing problem in this chapter: The parts where the text size is supposed to enlarge, you can see the [size]- text functions.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Cutie Mark Cabal...When the two 3s meet, the end of time shall come.

Well, that might be what happens, I have no idea, but I know it's gonna be awesome!

I noticed Dewdrop/Dinky
mentioning "The Shangwe Incident", a subtle hint to when this story is.
I also liked the references to the Lunaverse, and loved how Sunburn/Scootaloo and Spotlight/Diamond Tiara got their Relationship Upgrade/new names from the adorable cloud rescue scene, a moment they likely remember down to the second.

I never expected Rollypolly, not that I saw anything in the story coming, but his introduction was amazing! I can't wait to see what his role in the Eclipseverse will be, especially in relation to Twilight, his alternate universe mother, and the mystery of Tirek.

All in all, a fantastic end to a fantastic origin story.

6357036 Darnit, I thought I got all of those. I must not have saved after I made the edits. :facehoof: Thanks for letting me know, though.

6357208 Thank you so much for enjoying it and for commenting. :twilightsmile: I'm always grateful to hear from readers which parts they liked best, and I can tell you that Rollypolly has a very important role to play in the overall myth arc. Past, present, and future.

Quite the interesting set of twists and turns in this chapter. I have to admit, I was not expecting THAT at all! Well done!

:rainbowderp: Dink... Scoot... Di... What?....
[SYSTEM ERROR: PLOT TWIST DETECTED. SYSTEM ERROR: SHOCK OVERLOAD.]
[REBOOTING]
Okay. I thought I had known what was happening because of the base story, and I was way off. I'm impressed... and a little jealous. Don't think I could have come up with something like that.

Also was that:

I AM ABLE TO TAKE THE LONG ROAD,

a Terminator: Genisys reference?

6358075
SPONTANEOUS CRANIAL DEPRESSURIZATION DETECTED. DEPLOY CUSTODIAL DRONES.

And thanks, Hopeful. That really means a lot, coming from you. :twilightsmile: It's my blessing (and curse) to be able to form these sorts of connections. The struggle is in keeping the continuity from tangling up like a kitten with a ball of yarn. :twilightsheepish: I am curious what your theories were, though.

As for the Genisys reference, not intentionally. I can see it now that you pointed it out, but it was more a general reference to any time in fiction where an immortal or very long-lived character ends up having to simply wait and bide their time to catch up to a character waiting for them in the present day.

Incidentally, "DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I AM HERE!" is a reference to one of my favorite mangas, My Hero Academia. It's the catch phrase of All Might, the world's greatest superhero.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!