• Member Since 5th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

CrowMagnon


E

Eclipseverse: One thousand years ago, long before six young mares took up the Elements of Harmony to save Equestria, the royal sisters faced an insidious foe who threatened to cast his shadow across all the land.

Now, the poet Pinkamena Diane Pie and her friends have put together a show to tell that tale as Equestria has never heard it told before. The stage is set, the actors are ready, and the musicians are prepared to unleash the first rock-opera based this dark period in Equestrian history ever produced.*

That's assuming, of course, that everything goes as planned.

* Based on original music by The Protomen, from their album, "The Father of Death".

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 91 )

Hmm, I'll be giving this a look-over to see how I might be able to help later, k?

And welcome to Adventures - Alternate Universe!

I love this, especially the backstage stuff.

2726019 Thanks, and for the Favorite as well. :pinkiesmile:

2726074and to think if you hadn't mentioned your own AU involving rock farming in my rock farming thread, I'd have missed out on this!

I would add a "dun dun dun", but I'm sure the SFX was already done by Vinyl.

Beautifully done. That's all I can say.

I hope you'll be writing the main story for this AU setting sometime, because it looks to be very interesting. Pinkie as a beat poet? That's gold.

3392927 You actually have defender2222 to thank for the original kernel of the idea, as the very basic core premise was part of a joke made by the Doctor in The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo. A premise that I snatched off the shelf before anyone else, got permission to make use of, then ran off with while giggling madly and planning to perform obscene experiments on it. :pinkiecrazy:

Really liked this chapter! Loving the AU in general so far. Keep writing!

3887225 Well thank you! I'll do that. :twilightsmile:

Crazy super magical librarian? Is that just a thing Ponyville has?

3898179 Yes, but for a good reason in this case!

Well... for A reason, at least.

3922707
It's something that I started based off an alternate universe mentioned in defender2222's story, The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo. That's an hilarious story, by the way, so if you haven't, I suggest checking it out. So I took his idea for how the Mane 6 might have turned out without the Sonic Rainboom triggering their cutie marks (Twilight's a soldier, Rarity's a rock farmer, Rainbow Dash is Zecora's student, Fluttershy and Iron Will are a married motivational speaking duo, Applejack is a businessmare, and Pinkie Pie is a moody poet) and then built my own history around it with differences stretching back much farther than the Sonic Rainboom incident. Like Celestia and Luna having four friends who also helped them bear the Elements of Harmony back in the day.

The reason I call it the Eclipseverse is because instead of turning into Nightmare Moon, Luna was temporarily possessed by an entity called Eclipse, which left her in a coma for a thousand years. That bit of backstory is what the rock opera the Mane 6 and friends are putting on in this story.

If you're curious, I have one completed story in this setting so far, called Snowblind. It's about one of Celestia and Luna's old friends coming back after twelve centuries... and not being very happy about it.

An interesting adaptation of the song. Being obsessed with the original track, where Wily turns other people against Light, then gloats on his triumph over human nature, it jars. But if you twist it into trying to goad Celestia, rather than lure others, it seems to work well enough!

Here, the echo isn't Emily, but the jury, declaring Light isn't legally guilty. But this makes for another good reinterpretation of the song.

I shall rule this blank comments field with a iron fist.

Another interesting separation, where instead of Joe being confined by the law of Wily's new regime, Nyx still struggles to solve the true problem.

I'm interested to see how Keep Quiet will fit with this, since it is Joe running from a horrible killer robot.

The 'go down' crack might have been a little much.

4175037
Hmm... yeah, you're probably right. Wasn't much trouble to edit that line to something else, so I went ahead and did that.

What did you think of the rest of the chapter?

My first thought, likely because of my over saturation of fantasy novels and combat, was 'there wasn't one instance of "meaty thump" used during the fight scene!' Or that is the general 'goto' for running into someone. Just that there could be more visual and audial language to heighten drama. But again, that's just my literary background showing. Otherwise, it is a good story! I was waiting for the classic grade school play references to come up, and the crusaders delivered.

Sooo good! Probably one of my favorite chapters so far. :pinkiehappy:

There was also that one part in the song ''So believe in us who believe in you'' that totally made me think of Guren Lagann. :twilightsmile:

All in all really good, lots of moustaches coming your way :moustache: :moustache:

4178739 Thanks! I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile: That reference was completely intentional, by the way.

Crazy magical librarian, eh? Seems like some things are just destined.

Yikes, Pinkamena and her eye ability is fairly terrifying.

Hmn, so Eclipse's weakness is true darkness? Guess that explains why she (he? it?) went after Luna first. Or does it have a similar weakness against pure light as well?

4217502
Heh, yep. There was a gap in the world, and somepony had to fill it. :twilightsheepish:

4217509
Thanks, that means I wrote it right. :pinkiecrazy:

Lies! No song is greater tan The Hounds!

One thousand years ago, long before six young mares took up the Elements of Harmony to save Equestria, the royal sisters faced an insidious foe who threatened to cast his shadow across all the land.

Is this Tirek?

4245283 Not in this case. The villain of this story is something else.

4246247 Don't you mean someone? Also, what is the Eclipseverse?

4249527

Don't you mean someone?

Do I, now? :trixieshiftright:

Also, what is the Eclipseverse?

An AU that I started, though this is only the second story I have in it so far. Basically, instead of Nightmare Moon, Luna ended up in a thousand-year coma because of an entity called Eclipse, and the Mane 6 have different jobs, special talents and Elements.

Oh my, that's a daring plan, but definitely an unexpected one too.

So intense! I can't wait to see how this plan turns out in the end! :D

I always thought this was the action song. I bought the album online and never saw the book, so I didn't realize this was an entirely planning song!

4556688 Yep. In the liner notes for the original, this was when Joe and Light were planning their assault on the broadcast tower. I could get you some links with the narrative to go along with the songs if you like.

Aside from that, what were your thoughts on the chapter and treatment of the song? :twilightsheepish:

Off to the side, Shining Armor continued to stare off into the distance as he softly muttered, "You will remember when time is right. The eye has seen it, and I have seen the eye. All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. Probably."

Poor Shining, but ehh, I'm sure he'll be fine. And that seems like a potentially important bit of prophecy.

So great to see the minotaurs and gryphons immediately about-face when Eclipse shows itself.

And holy crap, so that's what our mysterious interloper was up to. Not so playfully mischievous any more, and the fact that it left by sinking into the shadows seems bad. Eclipse? The Nightmare?

The meddler's identity has been hinted at pretty strongly, I think, but don't worry about it. I update so sluggishly sometimes, keeping track of the relevant details can be rather tricky.

I'm glad you seem to have enjoyed the chapter, too. :twilightsmile:

and they began to hover in a cirl above her head.

Circle, I believe. Sorry for never actually coming back to help on this like I'd said I would, what, 55 weeks ago? :twilightblush: Oi, vey... :facehoof:

4591492 Ah that's okay. I'll survive the shame of the occasional typo.

I'm more interested in your thoughts and opinions, anyway. :twilightsheepish:

4592078 It's truly amazing, really. I've never heard of The Protomen before this, and it is truly awesome, and I said that already. The only annoyance I really have is more to do with the fact that I tend to read pretty damn fast, and it means the music and lyrics you've written are never in sync.

Still, the fic's great!

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