After Octavia finishes playing for the Broadhay Theater, her unexpected but fun friend Vinyl Scratch, popularly known as DJ-Pon3, visits and invites her and her friends to a party at a popular dance club, something that the cellist is unfamiliar with. Not wanting to disappoint her friend, Octavia agrees to go to her party, but can she last through the loud music, rowdy party-goers, blinding lights, and stallions constantly flirting with her?
Cover Art belongs to Ziemniax from DeviantART
Part of the Manehattanverse
Chapters (5)
I think adding Vinyl into the Manehattanverse will be a good element to add for future fics in this universe. Also word of note, Vinyl in the fandom often calls Octavia, Tavi.
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Octi is another valid nickname commonly used by Vinyl in fandom, though I personally like Tavi more.
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Would you like for me to change Octavia's nickname to 'Tavi,' since it looks more popular than 'Octi'?
2456327 I prefer Tavi, but go with what you think is better in your opinion.
Oh, it's so nice to see more fics set in the Manehattanverse! I can't wait to see more; definitely following this.
Twilight nit-picking over everypony's punctuality seems a bit excessive, but it is something she might do... and Twilight's bantering with Trixie is appropriately similar to how she interacts with Pinkie Pie in canon, considering Trixie's Element, but at the same time keeping Trixie in character.
I look forward to seeing how you depict Vinyl... I'm sensing that this may be going in a "Griffon the Brush Off" direction.
Nice chapter! Can't wait for the next!
I actually don't have anything to criticize about this. Excellent characterization, you put in a few good twists, very good level of detail to fill in the story, and a nice lead on. I couldn't have written much differently myself.
One thing I like about this universe (Manehattan in general) is how Spike has a tendency to --for lack of a better description-- imprint himself with an adult pony's personality, like he's trying his hardest to fit in with the group, but hasn't really found himself as an individual yet, even though he's obviously the only dragon around. It shows how impressionable he really is.
Great Chapter!
Awesome and I can imagine octavia being a bully in her childhood nice turn around you did,
Yeah, this is gold.
Pretty good for a first fic. My only nitpick is that, as I recall from the original story, Honey Do is her real name, and Daring is the nickname.
I need to correct you one one of the parts in the story. Daring never told anyone of going to Saddle Arabia and wanted to keep it secret. Just wanted to point it out.
But anyhow, a great conclusion and can't wait for the epilogue!
2934005 Oh, sorry about that. It's fixed now.
Good luck on the next story. I hope to see how this fits in this universe.
Ahem...
D'AAWWWWWWW!!!
Good story, but I did have a few problems.
(SPOILERS, BTW)
One: Trixie made the entire club burn down, almost killed a bunch of ponies by her reckless action which included breaking and entering... and she didn't get so much as a scolding? I get that this story is about Octavia and Vinyl, but for the love of Celestia, consequences! At least have others smack her in the head and make her pay for her mistakes!
Two: The dialogue. It's fine and all, but there was so much redundant statements and repeating of the same things we already knew that it was jarring. Just send Spike on an errand, don't explain that he knows where others live and don't show that he tells that to everyone, because, duh, we already got that! As Octavia would say "Sometimes, less is more than enough."
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One: Trixie does get scolded for her actions. Read the scene after the club is destroyed, Twilight is the one scolding her.
Two: I admit, I do have a bit of a problem with my dialogue. I did my best at this story, but I know what you mean. I hope to get better in the future. Feel free to leave suggestions if you'd like.
Anyway, thank you for your feedback and criticism. Some might not like it, but I welcome it, in hopes to become a better writer. So, feel free to criticize away.
3757467 huh, must've missed that. Oh well, rant aborted
Wow! That's not something you see everyday, folks! What flexibility, what skill! Though they do look kind of silly leaned all the way over like that...
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Man, do I feel dumb for overlooking that mistake.
It's fixed now. Thanks for pointing it out.
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No problem, bud, least I could do.
Vinyl and Octavia, this should be good.
Very nice, very nice, I think I like this Vinyl Scratch!
Reminds me never to anger Blossomforth...
Very lovely, I knew from the moment Trixie wanted to improve Vinyl's performance that things would go wrong.
This part was glorious.
Um, if you ever do a Rainbow Box, I know what Octavia's key will be.
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Oh? I'm always happy to hear suggestions. Feel free to speak your mind on the group forum so every member knows.
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Keep in mind that this is an Alternate Universe. The Author could've given her the nickname "Via" and it'd be just as valid. (And now I want to see someone write a story with Vinyl calling Octavia "Via".)
I find it disturbingly ironic that Vinyl Scratch is more of a Rainbow Dash than Daring Do, the literal recolor of Daring Do. I mean, I get it, this version of Daring Do isn't the same as in canon. But the irony is still so...well...ironic. If it were anymore ironic, magnets would be attracted to this fic.
Usually, it's Octavia and Vinyl that tend to be portrayed as the "odd couple". But I get the feeling that Vinyl and the Oranges will play that part.
I think my heart just exploded.
Were any of those flowers cousins to Dragon Sneeze Trees?
Officer: "So you're saying you want to charge this dragon for several accounts of... herbicide?"
I suddenly see this devolving into The Best Night Ever territory.
Three... Two... One...
The Best Night Ever mode activated.
To be honest, I was kinda expecting Vinyl to be upset because her sunglasses got broken. I presume those are the same sunglasses that Octavia got her.
Quite literally if I recall.
That may have to take a back seat, considering recent events. Then again, they could always meet up at the Grand Galloping Gala. That group became infamous in Vinyl's element. Perhaps they'll become infamous in Octavia's element as well. Worse case scenario, Vinyl and Octavia will have that in common.
We are gonna see Vinyl again, right? (Please say yes... Please say yes... Please say yes...)