• Member Since 28th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 7th, 2017

Sage Runner


A courier by trade who writes stories. Welcomes feedback and/or constructive criticism.

E
Source

The World Famous Flim Flam Brothers, having been forced to put their cider-making days behind them, have "collected" all of the rare and exotic creatures they've encountered during their travels in order to create a circus of mythology the likes of which has never been seen before! Spike, being the final addition to the show, must use everything he's learned from Twilight Sparkle in order to take back his freedom, rescue his comrades in captivity, and return home.

A big thanks to Bad_Seed_72 for pre-reading and editing!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 58 )
Y1

"This is just fascinating," Spike said. "I'm not even being sarcastic. I was literally there, and you know that I saw everything that happened, so I have to believe that between me and you, I'm not the one you're lying to. You've actually convinced me that that's genuinely how you remember things."

I laughed at that line. This is funny. I look forward to reading more.

I love pretty much everything with the Flim Flam Brothers... I am not used to seeing them be so villainous! but then still seem to act as awesome as normal! Just looking at the tags makes me excited for this story. I can't wait to see how this will turn out

This kinda reminds me of that one Tiny Toons episode with the circus of creatures from wacky land.

3051253 i bet it would just be too hard

anyone wanna list everything wrong with there plan?

1.they can not leave equestria to do this

3051965

2: Someone's gonna notice the collars and how they glow...

I bet they are going to try to capture a real live draconequus...
files-cdn.formspring.me/photos/20120429/n4f9cc905ed1ee.png

3055094

3. this is slavery of citizens of equestria celestia will spring them

Ummm... can they really get away with kidnapping Trixie? I mean, she is a unicorn, after all. Not to mention, if anypony remembers her, the Flim-Flam Bros. are going to regret that they acquired such an... unpopular mare.
And, um... yeah. I have a feeling who the others are. The Flim-Flam Bros. will regret bringing them too, a lot more than with Trixie.
But woe be unto them if somepony finds out that they took her number one assistant, or another mare finds out that they took what is questionably her favorite suitor.
And for the record, next time you kidnap somepony, don't take the guy who can send a letter straight to the most powerful being in all the land.

Nevertheless, Flim and Flam are many things, but they are far from stupid. I think they have some more tricks waiting.:pinkiesmile:

annnnd I am going to start looking for my address book with seal team6's phone numbers or at least fredy kruger's

Kidnapping.
Assault
Illegal magic devices.

Flim and Flam are going to jail for a long time if/when they get caught.

Is he going to freeze himself during a show? also magic letter baring dragon, celestia will wonder why twilight is sending nor receiving letter

Flim and Flam apparently took what happened at Ponyville very badly. Since they've gone insane and all. Still, they really haven't thought through their plan entirely. Spike and Zecora both vanishing? One vanishing is odd and worrying, but Zecora could have gone on a trip or be off in the Everfree, and Spike could have....well, not much there. But still, those very silly stallions have a limited time left. Either Spike and co will get free, Twilight and Celestia will catch up with them or they'll fall destructively off the deep end.

Great story, can't wait to read more.

The ability to be assertive is insignificant next to the power of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand-And-One.

:rainbowlaugh:

Robot suit fight!

3128585

Precisely. I kept going back on forth on whether to have one of the characters say "It's a trap!". Settled on not doing it, though.

and que Spike going dragon on their asses

Gilda should really just fly away and get he guards :rainbowdetermined2:

Flim and Flam, you dun goofed already! :rainbowlaugh: Especially by capturing Iron Will... :rainbowkiss:

Oh hell yeah! Intense battle scene to conclude the story?! Yes please! :moustache:

:moustache:
Some things never change.

Wow, Flim and Flam live in their own world. Must be nice.

That was a really enjoyable story and it was nice to see them all work together like that.

Dat Megas XLR reference

Only two little things I noticed:

Hitting the Cider Squeezy in the center of its chest, be body-slammed the monster.

*he

"Zecora, you're here to?" Twilight asked, offering a smile.

*too

Other than that, great story! I laughed and I cheered! Glad to see Flim and Flam got what was coming to them! Although, when will they ever learn? :unsuresweetie: :rainbowlaugh: Another great story. :rainbowkiss:

CCC

"Reckon we're a might late, though,"

"mite", surely?

3178401
3180229

Thank you both for the corrections :twilightblush:


And I would like to extend my gratitude once more to all of you for taking the time to read the story and for the comments!

Comment posted by Sage Runner deleted Nov 15th, 2013

Glad to see mares dig giant robots. Nice. Maybe you could make an alt ending where Megas randomly appears kicks ass and disappears.

OH MY GOD!!! THEY KILLED SPIKE!!!

Spike should save the world more often.

Great story. If this was longer, than it could be one of the best on the site.

3772804

Thanks, glad you liked it!

That was wierd, wild, and hellaciously fun! Had solid pacing throughout the entire thing, and the little references were well placed enough not to be clogging up the really good story.

4099666

Thank you very much for reading, I'm glad you liked it!

Flim nodded, thinking back to the night before, when they snuck back into Ponyville. They had found Spike on his way back to the library from doing chores at the Carousel Boutique. Flim tossed a large rock at the dragon's head, knocking him unconscious.

If you want to get bigger laughs from that joke, you'd best get rid of all the superfluous information, condense it to a single sentence...and put the punchline at the end.

Flim nodded, thinking back to the night before, when had found Spike on his way back to the library from Carousel Boutique, and had tossed a large rock at his head.

He had been extending one of his fingers at a time periodically during Flim's story until all of them were raised.

This is a marvelously entertaining story. You should absolutely make those little fixes up there so you can submit this to Equestria Daily's prereaders.

I would also stretch out Trixie's "star" for better comedic effect: "...STAAA-HAAAAAAAR!"

"Spike, I could kiss you!" Trixie shouted, her smile raising her cheeks to her eyes as Spike blushed.

Best. Line. Ever. The world needs more ... ugh, they call it "Spixie".

Just one more little stand-out flaw here...

"It's Dragon and Zebralia!" one mare shouted.

Zecora was trapped inside a barrel. Last I checked, wood was not transparent.

Well, that was a ride! The premise of rounding up all the non-pony characters in a scenario that forces them to work together is terrific, but what made this work was how well everything fit. It's pretty easy to believe Flim and Flam are clinically insane, so the threat they posed made sense. Even the steampunk was easy to swallow. The chemistry between the rest of the cast was also fun and true to canon, whilst developing their personalities to fit the plot. It's also worth noting that Spike's dry sarcasm was awesome, Trixie was adorable, and you deserve props for not considering it a requirement that Zecora rhyme every single time she opens her mouth.

The overall story was also very concise. In such a dire situation, it felt appropriate to make the antagonists (the heroes, in this case) deal with a much bigger menace in order to escape and bring the protagonists to justice. It made for a great climax, didn't draw things out too long, and functioned to bring the five together so they could work as a team. And the story even ended on a genuine laugh rather than a contrived one.

Oh, and Trixie kissed Spike. So that's a fangasm.

It may be short and relatively simple, but this really is one of my favorite fanfics of all time. I don't love the bulk of your stuff quite enough to follow you, but I would totally devour a sequel that brings these five back together and forces them into a bigger challenge. They're like the Avengers, but regular people.

This was a hilarious story, and it worked perfectly. I could easily see this very thing be an actual episode on the show. No, really. Spike, with this band of rag-tag misfits, against the Flim Flam Brothers as antagonists? It works. It would be the kind of Spike episode I'd like to see - where the protagonist rises to the challenge without first having some character flaw brought up for him to overcome.

The rest of the team were also flawless in their portrayal. A lesser author would play up their idiosyncrasies for quick character establishment - having Gilda call everyone else 'lame' and 'dweeb', having Trixie boast and brag all the time, and generally everyone being really shallow and obnoxious - but instead they acted pretty much like people who recognized that they were in peril and had no reason to play around, and still came across as their established selves. Their willingness to cooperate and stick out for each other made them even more likeable. You could possibly argue that Trixie and Gilda wanted to play heroes and/or get back at the brothers more than doing it for sheer altruism, but it's still a better characterization than they get in a lot of stories.

And as a wise man once said, the worth of a hero is measured by his enemies. Flim and Flam were an excellent mix of dangerous competence and goofy campiness. Entertaining, yet serious enough to be a challenge. Some writers set up weak antagonists for their overpowered protagonists to knock down (usually when the antagonist is someone the writer doesn't like and want to see beaten), but this only makes the protagonists seem boring, possibly even unlikeable for acting like a bully. Here, the heroes were in a bind from square one, and even after getting their freedom had their work cut out for them. They earned their victory, through cunning, resolve, might and teamwork.

Excellent work. Will read again. Hope to see more good stories from you.

Fim and flam must die

Freedoooooooooooooooooooooooom

4592860 Agreed. This was well balanced and I loved it as a one shot read.:twilightsmile:


4101995 A wonderful story that's being added to my face.:pinkiehappy:

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