I was having a costume party, with the Ben 10 fan club. In which we dressed up as our favorite Ben 10 alien. I was dressed up as Big chill. But the costume i got, was bought from a mysterious person. Later at the party i was engulfed by a mysterious light. When i woke up, i have been turned the Ben 10 alien Big chill. But i’m not on earth, i am on a planet… filled with talking ponies.
A Displaced dressed as an alien from Ben 10? That's new. Not a bad start by the looks of it
7480054
Please
Don't bother Rarity. That's your own choice
Thanks. That's one of the stories i'm going to make on fimfiction.
Wanna see my other stories?
Seems good. Though...a blue and black Displaced saving the CMC from a creature of the Everfree and Rainbow attacking said Displaced. Now why does that seem so familiar? In all seriousness, good job so far, but you should decide if you want in first person or third. That could get confusing
7480075
Okay. I'll see to it. By the way i have just started working of fimfiction. So i'm kinda of a newbie here.
7480077 I'm still pretty new too, but I'm sure I'm doing good. An I'm sure you'll do good as well
7480103
Thanks. While i may be a new at fimfiction. I have actually written many stories along with my best friend. We still do sometimes. So that helped me get a little experience in writing.
7480105 well you're lucky. I have no experience writing
7480111
Oh. I'm sure you can still make excellent stories.
7480168 Hopefully. Hey, I have a question
7480951 Sure. Ask away.
This is a really good story its also new for me so points for originality seriously keep up the great work and update soom
PS. Can you try to show us when you change p.o.v like (Lars P.O.V The Everfree Forest) or something ?
7481790 Are you going to do crossovers?
Do more please this is good story
7482328 Mostly yeah!
But later i'm going to make some Next gen. stories. Which involves shipping.
7482070 I will try. By the way, enjoying my stories?
7482414 well maybe we can do a crossover in the future
7482422 A crossover between your displaced story and mine?
7482432 Yeah
7482438 Sound ok to me. But how? I don't know how two authors make a crossover.
7482449 pm me if you want the info
7482692 pm?
7482703 said me a private message
7482418 Yup
I honestly feel like Fluttershy is wrong here, Big Chill did something that allowed him to defend himself without actually hurting anyone (at worst it'll be a minor inconvenience) and with Applejack I still don't think he was wrong since she was clearly intent on hurting him.
I kinda want to see him give a speech about how idiotic they were.
Not bad, but seriously dude, fix the POV. You keep going from first to third that it gets confusing.
7488846 I'll see to it later
7488841 Same here. They did act idiotically there. Though I can see where Fluttershy is coming from, seeing how she knows nothing of Big Chill's species, she assumes that he could settle things without freezing her friends when it's their most basic defense mechanism.
7488846 Fixed it.
7489350 Better, but of it's Big Chill's POV, then it'll all be in his perspective, meaning it should use "I" and "me", but if you don't want to do all that work in editing, just erase "POV" when it switches to his side
7489491 Ok i'l remember that. Thanks for the advice
7489497 always happy to help
This story is real good so far, keep up the good work!
Now I wait for the Insanity that is Big Chill's asexual reproduction. Instant headache and chaos in one go.
Good plot but you desperately need an editor.
Not bad, but in my opinion, you should capitalize a few letters. Like instead of Big chill, it's Big Chill, and Rainbow Dash.
Pretty good. But, you know what would make for an even better ice-based character displaced?
"Cold voice."
Question? Are you gonna make Lars gone momma mode just like Ben? Where he eats alot of metal?
7512153 Maybe. If Equestria have enough metal for him to eat
It's fun finding displaced fics that still haven't been overly done yet. Nice job so far
I remember a Ben ten game where the last boss is vilgax, but you get the aliens from when the omnitrix had big chill, chromastone, and humongasour. It was easy just because you could become intangible with big chill and take no damage.
Rainbow just needed to chill out.
For the sake of all that is holy, please get an editor. Still a fairly good plot.
7537181 Calm down. I started like three weeks ago. I don't know much about the editor you talk so much about.
7536245
that was so Low you can step on it...
7537240 heat rises, but when ur chill, you tend to sink.
7537233 you know, I can help
7546732 You will? Thanks. But how?
7547130 do you use Google Docs?