• Member Since 14th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen September 28th

TheUltimateBrony-Class-S


A high-school student whom has been getting ideas for fanfictions for FIMfiction.net

T

[Displaced]
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present."
"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it." -Oogway

"Anything is possible when you have inner peace." -Shifu

"Your story may not have a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be." -Soothsayer

~~~Prologue Description~~~

Two best friends, Tyler Young and Pocano Fling, inspired by the movies of Kung Fu Panda, decided to learn Mixed Martial Arts, no matter how hard, and become masters of the trade. Years later, they have opened a MMA gym, and had been training many young ones since; to celebrate their success they used their extra money to order a replica staff seen in KFP 3... yet, things do not go as planned...

~~~Story's Beginning Description~~~

Two friend who have turn into characters from Kung Fu Panda, have been sent to the Crystal Empire when it was still being ruled by Sombra. They must face the challenges of the world they are in, the ones in their minds, and the ones in their hearts. Join them to see what adventures they may end up in, will they be awesome? Comedic? Heartfelt? Tragic? Who knows? Find out in the chapters below.

~~~Extra Tags~~~

(Here because some tags apparently conflict with others; need more character slots than just 5)
Extra Tags: Sad, Alternate Universe, and Slice of Life
Extra Characters: The CMC, Spike, Sombra, and Zecora.
(These may end up being edited in the future)

~~~---~~~

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in or related to Kung Fu Panda owned by DreamWorks Studios, nor My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic owned by Hasbro Studios.

WARNING: Rated Teen for some mild violence and language.
(Story's current Tag: Teen may change, might even add the Sex or Gore Tag later)

~~~Requesting Help~~~

The cover art for this story is mainly temporary, so, if anyone could... I would like to have some cover art made for this story, and if you are interested please PM me so we can discuss further details.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 65 )

I like this story so far, I'm surprised nobody else has thought of doing something like this before.

8575566
This. I know a couple guys from boot who went into MMA and they would laugh their asses off if they heard this.
Author confirmed to have never participated in any sports.
The premise is unoriginal, the OCs dull, and the dialogue forced and unnatural.
2/10.

8575712
*shrugs* hey, I did warn you in the description of the story, so, unless you got any creative criticism to give, get the buck outta mah comments.
8575703
True, I have never participated in any sports, but that just means I'm inexperienced, no reason to put someone's life to shame, also, like you will have most likely will have read as a response Miss Glimmer above, but have most likely have ignored so you can read my response to your comment, unless you have any creative criticism to give, get the buck outta mah comments.

8575763
That isn't how this works, kid. You either provide quality, or handle it being shit on for being shit.
It means you're writing from a complete lack of experience, which doesn't lend it tiny details to make it good.
And it's Displaced, so there's no saving it.

8575784
... :trixieshiftright: yeah, ok, sure... whatever let's you sleep at night.
8575798
...and you, sir, are not helping.

8575712
You, sir, are being narrow-minded. besides, at least the Displaced is less confusing then the Chess Game of the Gods.

8575890
...you have to give me a link to that now 'cuz I'm now curious as to what that is.

>displaced
>kung fu panda
>mma wannabe faggots
>just generally cancer

dead on arrival bbys

8576205 It should have more really. Trash like this is the lowest of low.

Also, hey glimmy, how are you?

8576218
Oh no it's 4:10 now. Oh well.
And I'm well enough I suppose. New name, new tricks, same shit.

8575763
Because writing about something you've completely misrepresented (in a manner that's neither entertaining nor creative) amidst the flaws typical of Displaced, well, this isn't DeviantArt.
I am going to ask some MMA fans if a child's movie got them into it. The reactions should be great.

8575893
Here is a link to one of the stories that started that whole thing: Link.

8577558
Makuta Teridax would argue against that, both versions of him.

8577587
It's okay, don't listen to the haters, drinking their haterade and eating their hater tots out of the refrigerhater

8578523
First off, wow that's a lot of hater related puns *golf claps*
Secondly, I don't let the get hate to me too much considering... never mind.

8577558
Your only saying that because displaced are always OP, compared to the ponies that is. But you must consider that most of the characters they get turned into come from places that would eat pony civilization alive, or just crush them under their boot without a second thought. How do you NOT make that OP?

I would like to point out this. If you do no like a fic. A video. A game. Hell just a movie. Then why are you here? If you don't like this then just leave. Let the kid write so he can get some experience in writting. It may be bad now. But with enough polish he (or she) may write something good. Give him a good criticism. Show how his flaws so he can hone then out. But do not berate someone on doing what they want. Is it illegal? Is he killing someone or hurting someone? If no. Then just leave. Besides. There are peaple that like Displaced fics. And never judge a book by it's cover. Give every story here at least a chance

Hmmmmmmmmmm..........

Go on...........

8578523
Hahahaha!! That was puntastic!!

8575566
What, your face? Course it is!

8575784
Is your ass jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth?

8575798
*gives popcorn* Enjoy the show!

8575890
FINALLY!! SOMEONE THAT F:yay:ING GETS IT!!!!!!!

8575902
See above replys

8576175
Another shithead!!!

8576192
Hmmmmm, yea, I ship it!

8576218
8576254
Oh look, they even know each other! How cute!! *shipping intensifies*

8576408
And your a dream crushing, puppy kicking, lowlife, scumsucking peice of shit!! :pinkiehappy:
Next complaint?:pinkiecrazy:

8577558
Thats the point.......

8578774
Exactly.



Ok, think Im done now. You shall be receiving a like and watch on this story from me!!!

I 'm enjoying this story of yours. There are a few error I want to point out so you can either correct them or learn from them.

"Shit, OK you go down and get our gear, load the car, and start the car and I'll get our laptop, our papers, and paper work."

It's a simple one eveyone has done before. The "Ands" doesn't need to be there.

"Alright, I'm up," I said, yawning and wiping the sleep from my eyes, "sorry for being this tired Ty, that new group of students wore me out and made me more sore than Shifu after fighting with Tai Lung."

This part just needs a bit of rewording or explanation. I find myself confused.With the way you've written it, It seems like Poc has acutally fought Tai Lung and was given intense training by Shifu after the fact. but later on we discover they are human and aren't a part of the Kung Fu Panda universe. Be careful with how you word things, a single word out of place can change the entire meaning of a paragraph.

"And teaching them when to use it," Tyler said, wisely, "I don't remember how many times we had to punish our own students for using our lessons for their own gain; yet, if they didn't learn their lesson, forced them to leave and have their parents keep them from here, kind of reminds me of...," he went silent.

"Yeah," I replied, knowing what he was referring to, putting on the belt around the robe, "we just gotta keep the students on the right track and let believe that they are entitled to everything they want."

Don't forget to capitalize. :twilightsmile: The semi colon isn't needed. You can put a period and quotation mark then a small bit after then start a new sentence. Exp: "I don't remember how many times we had to punish our own students for using our lessons of their own gain." Tyler shook his head in disappointment.

"Yet if they didn't learn their lesson, we had to force them to leave and have their parents keep them from here, kind of reminds me of..." Just and example.

Hope this helps. and don't let people keep you from doing what you enjoy. i personally like Displaced stories cause there's a near infinite amount of options available to the writer to choose from. So many ideas, thoughts, scenarios, plots, twists and turns galore. Also if it's a self insert, it just means you have an active imagination and are able to put yourself into the role of your character. I find doing that extremely helpful when writing. I wish you luck and if you need any help don't be afraid to ask. :twilightsmile:

I'm enjoying this extremely. All I'll say it try work on your explanations and descriptions. There are a few places that could use more detail and world creation. The dialogue is a bust jerky but it's nothing that can't be smoothed out. you have a good out line with what you have, just need to build on it a bit more and flesh it out would be my opinion. :twilightsmile: Keep it up though, I'm interested to see where this goes I'm a martial artist myself and wish i could find more displaced fics similar to this. they're fun to read.

8594843
First off, impressive user picture.
Second. Thanks for the advice!

8595663
Thank you. Evil always does try and make it'self look good. :twilightsmile: And your welcome. let me know if you need any assistance.

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