Life is fleeting. In an instant, a normal day can shift into an endless nightmare.
That's what happened mere decades ago, when a strange cloud appeared over Equestria and the surrounding countries. The world crumbled and thousands perished in the destruction caused by what is now known as "The Blight."
Now, ponies scavenge the ruins of old Equestria for anything to help them survive. All seemed lost until a mysterious group, The Great Royals Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Discord, and Twilight Sparkle, appeared with a message:
"We have hidden old Equestrian Bits all over this world, and whoever finds them all will be granted a wish...so long as it is within our power, it shall be yours!"
Thus the great hunt began. Ponies the world over began searching frantically for their chance at a better life. However, those searching soon found The Blight came with more than destruction and decay. A new race, strange and unlike anything seen before, arose from the murk to fight for their wishes and desires.
Let the games begin!
Cover art provided by the amazing Sin Ligereep.
Can't tell the difference.
3161384 I got rid of the info dumps from the prologue and the beginning of the first chapter, and disseminated some of those details through the storyline. I also included some backstory for Grey Matter, and a little more to his thought processes. I wanted him to be more fleshed out so there's more to build his character off of as the story continues. Other than that it's mostly sparse additional details and fixing up what was already there.
Tidings, this review brought to you by Authors Helping Authors
Grammar: 7/10
Pros: -Good character names
-Interesting concept
Cons: -Somewhat confusing world building
-More colorful dialogue
Notes: Super powered mutated ponies is a cool idea and I'm interested to see where you take it though the story does smack a bit like Fallout Equestria. Something that confuses me is in the story description is how you say the blight happened 700 years ago yet Grey Matter talks about when the blight hit as a child...unless of course ponies live that long in your world. Again, could use a bit more fleshing out to better understand the world you are trying to create. It certainly has potential though and I'm looking forward to more.
When you got time, I'd appreciate it if you can glance over this.
3170120 I can understand what you mean. At first there was a lot of world-building and fleshing out in the prologue and first chapter, though it was pretty much all info dump, so recently I went and rewrote the first two chapters and got rid of the prologue entirely to insert that info more naturally throughout the story. That rewrite is also coincidentally why the '700 years' thing was in the description. It was one of the things I had changed in the rewrite though I had forgotten to change it here. Thanks for reminding me and thanks again for the review.
You left your italics on, man.
3300076 Thanks for that. I fixed it as well as some other issues I noticed.
3300604
No probs.
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
3318047 Why thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed this story.
There were a few... mistakes here and there. a few missing letter in words... I can't remember them. o3o anyway. awesome new chapter, sooo... is this like Fallout: Equestria only with more superpowers?
3326878 It's similar in some ways to Fallout:Equestria because some of the parts of this story were inspired by New Vegas, though the major inspiration for this story was the manga/anime Needless.
dude
I remember this! Can't believe I missed this
Anyways, hope you haven't given up on it. Would definitely like to see this continued.
3528498
Because of college classes and a job hunt now that I've only got a year of school left, it's been a little slow. However, I have absolutely zero intentions to go anywhere but all the way to the end with this. I actually finished chapter 4 a couple of days ago and sent it over to my editor to look over.
3530926 Ah I see. Good to know that there are still writers out there who don't give up on their fics.
Unlike me. I set a bad example
3531225 The funny thing is, there are several other story ideas I want to write, though I haven't started them because I get worried I won't be able to focus on all of them equally.
3536420 Trust me.
If you think you can't manage all of them at once, then don't try.
I speak from experience.
UPDATE!
YAY! YES! NEW UPDATE!
3582423>>3580820>>3579787 Glad to see you all enjoyed the update. I'll try and be quicker on the next one if everyone here enjoys them so much.
Hooah, new update.
3585973 Dude that'd be great.
3587334 well I only have one more final on Monday so I should have plenty of time for writing.
Aslfraz; long time, no chat! I'm still enjoying this story a lot, man! Keep it up!
What got me was reading about Diamond Tiara's death.
3926696
For me, writing it was mostly cathartic as Diamond Tiara has been really a pain.
3925962
It has been a while. The biggest reason this took so long was that my family was originally supposed to move two months ago, though our contractor is terrible...
3928385
That was still a terrible death.
Yay update
3928396 Yeah, it originally wasn't as detailed, though in the process of editing, I realized it was kind of mean, so I made it more detailed to hopefully make people feel bad for her more than they might dislike her.
3929261
I felt pretty bad, so I think you succeeded.
This story has been reviewed by: The Equestrian Critics Society
The review can be found Here
Thank you for submitting your story to our group. You scored a 4.7/10, please read the full review (which contains spoilers) for more information.
update yay
5231182 I'm glad somebody is still enjoying this story.
So... is there some stigma about cancelling dead fics or... what?