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MLP: FiM / Abarat Crossover
The Mane 6 investigate a strange corruption taking over the Everfree forest, only to be accidentally sent to a phantasmagorical world where there is an island for each hour a the day, and must find each other if they ever have any hope of going home. Teen for occasional creepy-looking characters
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Um..just a word of advice: 12AM would be 00:00
2079099 When I was writing this, I did think of that... to me 24:00 makes it seem like midnight, the absolute latest minute of the night, whereas 00:00 seemed like it was the earliest beginnings of a new morning, and since the islands never move even a minute out of time I figured 24:00 might function better for an island that is supposed to be at the last minute of the day...
Though it's nice to see that someone's commenting
2079118 Well, midnight is the beginning of the new day. The last minute is actually 11:59. Most people don't know that, but it's true.
2079126 I plan to keep it at 24:00, since that was the way it was done in the books, at the 24th hour it's meant to be the darkest and most terrifying of the night-time islands, but putting it at 00:00 would make it one of the day-time islands, where the dark and gloom wouldn't fit in properly...
2079149 I've never read, or even heard of, the books this is crossed with, so....
I was just pointing out the flaw in the times.
2079457 It's no problem, friend. All I'm hoping is that you enjoyed the story and are interested in where it goes
2079458 I actually haven't read it just yet, and may not for a few days. I'm swamped with school work, helping others, and writing my own story. But I'll get around to it.
this is one that I like. you shall be seeing me just about every chapter now.
Good job.
Man...71 views seems like a decent amount for only 4 days on this site. (It doesn't help that this is the only Abarat story on this entire site...
)
Still, my major goal for this story is to have it be noticed by one of the bigger names of FiMFiction
I finally found time to read this.
Although I felt that the first three chapters were a bit slow and confusing the story has got a lot more interesting, and clearer.
Also about half way through the latest chapter everything turns to italics. Besides that I noticed no errors and the story wasn’t awkward to read.
I’ve never even heard about Abarat before, but you have definitely got me interested in it. This does deserve more attention, but I feel that its setting is too obscure for most readers to take instant interest in.
And I’m surprised that you haven’t received any downloads for having the word “anthropomorphized” in the description, that’s a good sign.
2178301 Yeah, the first three chapters were a little slow since they were kind of a 3-part prologue.
. I'm writing the first chapter of a Journey crossover, though I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by the end of the week at the latest.
I also fixed that issue with the italics...good lord that's embarassing
I am very glad that you enjoy this story though
This story has been reviewed by The Equestrian Critics Society
Story Title: Ponies of the Abarat
Author: Aslfrasle
Reviewed by: Errant
If you revel in the combination of ponies and imaginative fantasy settings, then “Ponies of the Abarat” may be relevant to your interests. This premise promises to pique the curiosity of readers who delight in unique and creative fantasy worlds, unexpected adventures, and the strength of enduring friendships.There are also good examples of characterization displayed for the Mane 6 as well as other figures, a well-developed and integrated setting, and a satisfactory pace that allows for the buildup of some anticipation and uncertainty.
Despite these positive notes, there are still some faults for a reader to contend with. However, while it is hindered by grammatical flaws and some concerns regarding the narrative tone of the story, there is still hope for “Ponies of the Abarat.” The mistakes that are made, while numerous, tend to be repetitions of the same error. For example, there are frequent issues with the use of commas and the punctuation of independent clauses. A bit of self-education or research on the part of the author should help to clarify the proper way to handle these parts of writing and enable those mistakes to be corrected and avoided in the future. There is also the possibility that a competent proofreader or editor could help immensely in this regard. Correcting these simple imperfections should do wonders for the story’s readability.
Improving the grammar of “Ponies of the Abarat” will alleviate most of the problems facing it as a story. The remaining concerns, such as slight complaints about the pacing, are insignificant by comparison. Presently, however, readers who enjoy fantasy and crossover stories and who are willing to look past some imperfect writing may take an interest in this work.
Full Review (May contain spoilers)
Score: 6.5/10