Captain Morgan is a bastard. And a sociopath. And I'm pretty sure he's trying to kill me. Right, now that that's off my chest...

Between rum and a host of other alcoholic beverages, I somehow manage to turn terrible ideas into mostly legible strings of words that I'm naive enough to call "stories". One day, I came home from work to find a few of my drinks hanging out. Not as discarded beer cans my sexy bachelor ass was too lazy to toss into the trash, either. As people. Or people-shaped avatars of their alcoholic beverage equivalents. Anthropomorphic booze? Personified ethanol?

Look, I have no idea how they popped up. I just know they're pretty pissed that I've been drinking their swill and procrastinating on the next chapter of the story I'm actually trying to write. And so they offered to help me, whether I wanted it or not...

Updates will occur when I have tiny aneurysms that slowly deprive me of a bit more of my sanity, bit by bit, until I'm changing the names in Twilight fanfics around and becoming a NY Times bestseller. (By that point, I will be in a persistent vegetative state and will be incapable of feeling guilt over my actions. But I'll be rich, yay!)

When a colt attempts to assassinate Celestia things go incredibly wrong and now he has to bring honor to his name by finishing what he started. But what happens when a certain purple unicorn starts to worry for his sake?

Dan, a young high school musician, is angry at a recent turn of events that has made him resent everybody around him. However, he is contacted by Celestia and offered to be transported to Equestria to blow off some steam and relax. But Dan can't help but wonder if there's a real reason behind her offer.

Rainbow Dash, the Ponyville weather team captain, is known throughout the town as the stubborn tom-colt who has rejected every stallion who has come calling. But what happens when the human-turned-stallion comes to town and steals her heart?

After his mysterious arrival in Equestria, Rick made great friends and had great adventures. But when he dies on one of these adventures, he gets reborn. This time, he is not human but a unicorn. What will this mean for him and the Mane 6? Will magic make his life easier, or will his adventures get more... adventurous?

Sequel to A New World, A Fresh Start
Continued in An Earthbound Honeymoon

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A boy who was beatin, left out, and alone is misteriously sent to Equestria. He wakes up to get attacked by timber wolfs. He's scared and hungry will he live to go back to his old life of misery and death or meet someone that will actually accept him?

After having a strange dream for years, Celestia has joined her guards in nearly every expedition to deal with strange occurrences. The dream had something fall from the sky, and it looked like something was inside the ball of fire, and it was alive. After heading to the Everfree, a blinding flash hits them, and then something crashes in the trees nearby. What is seen inside the fireball looked alive. Celestia and her guards are attacked, and something that is near death because of wounds stands between them. After the battle, Celestia takes this thing back to Canterlot, and her doctors take care of him. What lies in wait for this new creature in this world? Come and find out,

Darth Vader is one of the most despicable forces in the galaxy. Once a powerful and respected Jedi Knight, he betrayed the Galactic Republic and Jedi Order for the dark side of the Force. The newly christened Sith Lord was apprenticed to Darth Sidious and quickly became a master of the dark side. Vader was soon the scourge of the Jedi, continuing the Great Jedi Purge by slaughtering all remaining Jedi.

An extension of Emperor Palpatine's will, the Dark Lord was constantly on the move, traveling throughout the galaxy to defeat rebel uprisings and kill any surviving Jedi. This mission brings him to the edge of the Outer Rim into the Unknown Region of the galaxy, in an unknown star system. High above an unnamed planet he duels with one of the last remaining Jedi in the galaxy in a starship battle. But during the battle his ship is damaged, and he crash-lands on the mysterious planet.

With his connections to the Galactic Empire severed, Vader must find a way out the land known as Equestria, inhabited by the strange creatures known as ponies. That, or he could take it over.

With the death of Handsome Jack and the destruction of the Hyperion Corporation, the vault hunters have the map to the new vaults. Lilith Mordicai and Brick left first. Then our group left for the next vault. Salvador, Zero, Axton, Maya, Gaige, and Krieg, the unruly group heads to the next vault location in hopes of even greater loot!

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After losing his family a year ago, Rick Rhinestone could no longer take the loneliness and decides to end it all. It appears the universe has other plans for him as he finds himself in a strange land filled with talking horses. How will he manage?

Continued in Home Again

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At the end of the world, a master swordsman and all around malicious man known as Albus Jakal meets a brutal end in the jaws of a mighty dragon. As the cold grips of death consumed him, he was suddenly thrown into a new world unlike anything he'd ever seen.

With a new body and only the memory of his name and a few blurry images of what he assumed was his life before this place, he becomes determined to find out who he was and why he of all people was given a second chance in such a peaceful land. Can six mares with unbreakable bonds show the worst of us the magic of friendship?

Note: This is a crossover between MLP and my own novel that is currently in the works so a few things may be a bit confusing at the beginning but I promise everything will be explained as Albus regains his memories :). Also this is my first time writing a fanfic and I have no proof reader so try to be nice when spotting my mistakes.