My Little Psycho: Friendship is Pain

by Raven Shadow

The story continued? huh?

Krieg sat with his hands in a muffin, tearing off a new piece to eat. Maya sat just off to his side to keep an eye on the psycho who hadn't said one off thing yet.

Axton fiddled with his turret, wiping away all grime out of the barrel to ensure maximum effectiveness.

Zero, well he does what he always does. (Don't ask me what that is, I never played as him). Just doing assassin things was what he does.

Gaige kept petting Rainbow Dash while making baby noises, Celestia shook her head at the mechromancer's actions while failing to surpress her laughter for Dash's discomfort.

"So is this going to as awkward walking in on Moxxi trying to bathe Scooter." Axton broke the silence with a very vivid image. "Let's just say it. As much as I hate to admit it, Krieg saved both us and these damn ponies."

"What do you have against ponies? Look they're just so cute!" Gaige shot back.

"Please everyone just calm down, yes Krieg did save us from a potential crisis. But he hasn't said a word so we don't know what he's thinking, Krieg would you please say something?" Celestia asked the massive psycho who still was eating the muffin.

His eye glanced upwards, back to the muffin. It was absolutely strange, normally he would have said something about meat or blood.

"Ride the tiger! Pet the green doggy but never ever ever flash a sassy eye at the good doctor!" And back to normal. Yup everything was A-okay, oh and Handsome Jack was on his way, but they didn't know yet! (No seriously I tried to tell them, but it was always "nope we killed him" so I say back "Who's telling the story?" Whoops getting ahead of myself).

"So we know there's a vault here because someone decided to read it upside down." Maya turned her gaze to the commando.

"Wasn't my fault, no one bothered to check it either so I'm not at complete dick." Axton retorted like a complete prick.

"Wait, what's a vault?" Came the voice of Luna rang from the other side of the table.

"Alright kiddies, gather 'round old uncle Axton and he'll tell you the tale of the vaults." Axton smiled as the center of attention.

"Oh God, Uncle Axton? Oh I get it like uncle handies right?" Salvador exploded with laughter from his own joke.

"I'm not a sick perv!"

"Tell that to Elle, maybe we should tell her how you hadn't "had" company for a long time and touched her boob."

"You guys SWORE never to speak of that!"

"Well we did, and you're an ass. So quit blushing and tell the damn story!" Gaige added with a giggle-snort.

"Fine, alrighty on the planet of Pandora there were rumors of this grand vault that held so much loot that hundreds flocked to find it. Many of those guys became bandits or assholes either way is fine, they ruled the untamed wilderness of the borderlands. Until one day four very kickass vault hunters landed. Their names were Mordecai, Lilith, Brick, and Roland. These guys were kicking so much ass that they expected the vault to be filled to the brim with loot, but no it wasn't. Instead it held a hentai monster inside!"

"Wait wait wait, a hentai monster?"

"Yeah you know tenticals and shit, very bad for Japanese high school girls? Anyway they fought the monster without being molested by its long and wow I have been watching hentai way too much..."

Maya spoke up to continue.

"They killed the creature inside to find that the vault held no loot for them, so they decided to live their lives. Until Handsome Jack came to Pandora."

"Who's Handsome Jack?" Luna asked honestly.

"A jackass, but he claimed to have killed the monster of the vault. He began to civilize Pandora, but what he really was doing was killing anything and everything who dared to stand in his way. He sought another vault with even greater promise of loot. The Warrior. Handsome Jack wanted to use it to convert the rest of Pandora, but the previous vault hunters stood against him. Handsome Jack put out adds that he needed vault hunters to help him with promises to share what was inside, instead he killed God knows how many people. We were the last ones who made it to the train with his nasty surprise on board. After failing to kill us Handsome Jack put a large bounty on each of our heads for our capture. Well we fought back, blew up his bots and soldiers away."

"Kill kill kill! Shining soul stabbers to crack the rib cages of the numbers, watch the second act of a three part play of meat. And I will win best supporting actor!"

"Yes Krieg, you did."

"Anyway the vault held a massive creature-"

"We blew its freaking head off!"

"We did Salvador."

"But there were no-"

"Hookers! Damn it no babes, but holy hell were there guns."

"And I'm done telling the story."

Maya stood with her arms crossed, glaring at the commando.

Author's Note:

Short chapter I know. Kick me in the balls! I gotta settle back in alright? Thanks again!

Comments

[Raven Shadow]

4297352 oh yes I'm back baby! Well at least some what more confident in my writing, and the lord said onto me let the story go on.

[Raven Shadow]

4297157 let's share some laugh eh? Hope you like the story

[Raven Shadow]

3259230 hey buddy the story is back. Think of it as a way to let there be some psycho shit! I missed you and all the great laughs we shared. *weeping* I am so happy to be back now!

[ShadowsInTheDark]

Gun's, Guns everywhere!

[twilight fan]

4303832 stocky quit being emotional and fix the doomsday machine

[ApocalypticLightbulb]

Happy days! I am so glad this story is back, now go and write!

[Raven Shadow]

4309104 the fun shall begin soon!