//------------------------------// // Oh Crap... // Story: My Little Psycho: Friendship is Pain // by Raven Shadow //------------------------------// The world seemed so small aboard the Hyperion space station, nothing would stand in Jack's way this time. Through the window he glared down at the surface with a bag of pretzels. "Seriously?! Why can't anybody grab a good bag of snacks?! Blake! What do we know about this planet?" Jack asked. "Well sir it is populated by sentient Ponies..." Blake stated with a little apprehension. "Talking, civilization, medical marijuana, bars, and a government. The whole works." The room suddenly filled with laughter from the cruel man, who fell out of his chair. "Wait wait wait wait wait! Hahaha, they smoke weed? Oh my God hahaha! How? They have hooves not fingers!" Handsome Jack roared on the floor. "It seems they have magic." "Hahahahahaha oh of course they would they're fucking ponies! Hahahahahahaha oh oh my sides hurt." "They also have to leaders who can move celestial bodies sir." "Stop stop stop, I don't want to die laughing!" "Always never listens." Blake muttered. "I... I think I'm good. Just hahahahaha they smoke good herb!" "Sir, they also have a way to show what their special talents are." "Okay okay okay, I'm done." Jack took in air for his lungs. "So what's the deal with talents?" "They're called Cutie Marks-" "Hahahahahahaha hahahahahaha hehehehehe hahaha oww my sides. Even the boys have Cutie Marks? Oh God hahahahahaha." "Sir that might be a problem! What if those vault hunters won them to their side?! We could be looking at a hostile planet!" "Yeah filled with PONIES! Hahahahaha." Blake just stood silently, waiting for Jack to stop giggling like a madman. (Too late for that, dontcha think?) "Uh just observe the planet until we find those dicks." Handsome Jack stayed close to his desk for support if he should start laughing again. ######## Celestia watched Krieg play tag with a small group of foals, few times did she have to worry as the massive man grabbed a small filly or colt. But it usually ended with the psycho petting one of the children. Smiling she turned to Maya who stood in the doorway. "Well at least he is being gentle with them." The solar goddess stated with her usual calm sense. "I said it once and I'll say it again, he's a big softie once he likes you. Unlike Axton." Maya chuckled. "I heard that." "Bitch, moan, and repeat." Gaige laughed. "Anyways, well Celestia it was fun out here but I guess we should head back to Ponyvile. Because someone always whines about his guns!" Axton stood quickly to retort his side of the story, but an angry Salvador made him think otherwise. "Hey this is the best break I've ever had púto, yet you had to ruin it by opening your mouth! So no more talking, or ima shove my foot up your ass!" Salvador growled. "Promise to wiggle your toes?" Axton replied with a coy grin. "Sometimes I have doubts about you amigo." "Will anypony shut Axton up?! I can hear him bitching all the way up in my room!" Luna's voice echoed throughout the halls. "Luna! Such foul language in the Royal Canterlot voice? Shame." Celestia called back. No response came the the night princess. As fate would have it Krieg, (way down on the ground floor), began his trek towards the group. Not caring of the mud (I hope it's mud) he splattered everywhere he walked. The axe that hung on his belt slipped an inch, causing the blade to slice open a gash on his right leg. The pain did nothing other than anger the monster that was held under control, said control that was slowly ebbing away at this point. A maid who saw the large man coming noticed the blood dripping onto the floor incredibly fast, as Krieg came to stop the blood began to pool. She could only watch in horror as the floor she cleaned an hour ago was covered in filth again. "Excuse me? Uh are you hurt sir?" She asked softly. Krieg's inner voice spoke to calm the raging force that his body was, all the while leaving the mare terrified as the psycho glared down at her. "If you hurt this innocent nothing will stop me from running that axe so far into your skull." Inner Krieg warned the beast. "Raghn GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" The body spoke aloud spooking the mare into wetting herself. Krieg shuffled on with a lovely crimson trail behind. Onwards he trudged through the halls going left, right, right, right, right, left, left, right, and down. His head was now on a swivel as he tried to find the exit, but alas none were to be seen. ######### "So girls are we ready to go back?" Twilight asked a little peeved Rarity packed for a month's visit like always. "Yeah, me and AJ have been waiting for like two hours!" Griped an annoyed Rainbow Dash. "Ya ah've been wait'n for as long as ah could be this is ridiculous." "Well excuse me for making sure everything was put away properly, that includes EVERYPONY's bags." "Um if we could stop arguing that would be great, if that's okay with everypony." Fluttershy quiped. "Wait has anypony seen Krieg?" "He's down in the gardens playing with foals." Pinkie exclaimed as she shot out from the bathroom toilet. (Don't look at me, she's that random). "Uh hate to burst every pony's bubble but he's not there anymore." Rainbow Dash said as her wings held her aloft over the balcony. "Great now we have to find him. At least the train doesn't arrive for another hour." ######## "Sir!" "Yes Blake?" "Our sensors have found the psycho's location!" Handsome Jack fell off his chair with a surprised look plastered on his mask. Memories flooded back in force about the monster he ordered to be made, the axe that caught him in his chest the first time he died. "Sir, are you alright?" Blake questioned. "Yeah yeah, I'm good... Okay so he is down there, that is... actually that could work. Send down the Badass Loaders." "Yes sir." ############# "Where are they keeping the meat?" Krieg drawled to no one. The psycho still wandered around the castle hallways with no way of knowing where he was. But this mattered little to the behemoth of a man, no he wanted to kill. The urge was becoming unbearable anymore, all the while the inner Krieg held fast to control the blood lust. A new sound reached his ears, the sound of something very heavy falling very quickly. Krieg turned to the nearest window in the hall to see Badass Loaders coming straight down into Canterlot. The window shattered as the psycho threw himself outside. ############## "It was really nice for you too have us here Celestia, even though ya know the whole party fiasco." "Oh it was no problem Maya, I really did enjoy your-" The sounds of a window shatter caught every ones attention, then the a loud crash and the sound of many window break could be heard. Maya quickly got to her feet, helping up Celestia in the process. She ran to the balcony to find many Hyperion Loaders standing upright with their weapons trained on Krieg. "Well shit!"