My Little Psycho: Friendship is Pain

by Raven Shadow

Guess

"Who was he?!" Twilight asked for the dozenth time, her interest peaked by this new human. "Was that the "Handsome Jack" you keep talking about? Also why does he hate you guys so much?"

"That sweetheart was Handsome Jack... he believes that we're nothing more than bandits. We also kinda killed his only daughter... so that might add to the hate, I think." Axton began, his tone losing that cocky vibe everyone was so used to. "When we were hired to find the second vault on Pandora, it was Handsome Jack who brought us with the lure of splitting the loot inside. Instead we were nearly killed on the train that was taking us to Opportunity by a bomb he planted. At first we just saw him as a prick who ran the show but as we got closer to the vault his real story became clear... we knew only so much."

"What did you learn?" Came Celestia's voice, her eyes betraying the calm facial features.

"He's a pyscho worse than our own, he killed so many people to get where he is now. We learned that he murdered his wife, trapped his own daughter and used her to lure the previous vault hunters to Pandora for the vaults." Maya spoke up, her words painting Handsome Jack into the ponies mind's. Their expressions showed everything the vault hunters what they needed to know. "He takes pleasure in suffering of others like the madman he is."

Krieg snarled his frustration over his true tormentor. Fluttershy noticed his tension rising, her quick action calmed the rage inside. (With a hug! Get your minds out of the gutter!)

"Wow he sounds worse than some of the baddies we faced, yeah they were bad but they didn't kill anypony." Rainbow Dash commented.

"He's one of the worst guys ever to be born, yet still around... and he's brought friends just fucking fantastic! So damn gay." Said our lovable Axton. "Hey Gaige what are you doing?"

"Sorry guys but bad news. Jack has more than just loaders this time around." The Mecromancer sighed as she pulled out a metal cylinder from her pocket. "On this is a data file that has a few details of something worse than our standard bots. One of the details I've worked out is living weaponry that can be used like the warrior, but a more compact design that wields most of the same power."

"Shit."

"Well now that just sucks!"

Axton and Salvador both took in a breath of air, before shouting like maniacs. Using profanities ponies should never hear. (Like Justin Bieber or Carrot Top, the actor not the pony.)

---

Handsome Jack looked over the photos of each city on the planet below, few were nothing more than just a few homes along a road. That wasn't what he searched for, no he was surveying the planet's military might. Granted the station was an endless factory to spew forth bots but that doesn't work if your enemy has a means to overcome them.

The prototype would make sure everything would go off without a hitch once the game had been set in motion.

"Wilhelm, I want you to destroy this city called Manehattan... seriously? What's with all the horse puns? Anyway hit this place hard and fast... heh hard and fast, blast everything!" Jack smiled wickedly as Wilhelm nodded back with his own savage grin. "Awesome now I can play that game everyone's telling me about, it's called drop the heavy object on a random pony. Hmmm oh that one looks like he needs a crate of gears, bombs away."

"Hey Jack, what about the other vault hunters? You know that chick who punched the vault symbol onto your face."

"Oh don't worry I got very special plans for them."

- ---

Celestia watched the vault hunters as they drew up plans of any possibilities of attack from Hyperion forces, her worries were focused on her subjects who couldn't defend themselves from these invaders. The children and the older ponies would be easy targets for the loaders to kill.

"My P-princess Manehattan has come under attack." Glazed Beauty said shaking Celestia out of her thoughts.

"Oh no, vault hunters! Handsome Jack has launched a attack on our largest city, Manehattan. I will send you there." The solar princess worried voice informed the vault hunters that they needed to help repel the invasion. "Please contact me once you've secured the city, good luck."

In a flash all six bipeds were gone.

- ---

"Get out of there or I'll bring this entire building down on you!" Wilhelm barked to the few ponies who tried to hide from the fearsome enforcer. Slowly they came out in a single file line.

"The Princesses won't let you get away with this." One spoke courageously, she jumped out of line to emphasize her point. Her face was met with a massive boot.

"I'm looking forward to it. Anyone else want to try and speak? Good." Wilhelm turned to his battalion of loaders. "Alright take these things to the dropship, Jack wants some new test subjects."

"Understood!" Several loaders stepped up to the group with guns at the ready.

(Insert obligatory warping effect. Hey just imagine the intro to Dr Who. What?! I like that show! Fine Celestia I'll tell the damned story!)

Right before Wilhelm were the six vault hunters that killed him, rage long since held back flashed across the enforcer's face. In an istant he unholstered his rifle and took aim.

The shot could be heard for miles around.

The bounced off Maya's shield she quickly put around the group. The six vault hunters watched as Wilhelm brought the Vengeance Canon and took aim. Thinking very quickly Axton threw his turrets out giving the vault hunters some covering fire, the rounds of the mounted gun forced back Wilhelm to find his own cover.

From the small ruins from a library Maya and Zero took up sniper potions while Salvador and Gaige opened fire on the enforcer's cover, Axton and Krieg began to sneak closer.

"We killed you once we can kill you again!" Salvador roared as he fired his assult rifles, chipping away the concrete.

"That's because Jack poisoned me to make the fight easier for you to get that power core to Sanctuary, but now? I'm going to enjoy making you pay." Wilhelm retorted as he sent out Wolf and Saint. Wolf sped through the air blasting corrosive bolts and missiles towards the library with vigor.

Salvador jumped to avoid the highly effective rounds being sent his way, only to be met with a very pissed off Wilhelm.

"Hi." Gaige shouted from her perch, Deathtrap charging up it's infamous stare.

"Oh yeah?" The Vengeance Canon again opened fire this time aimed above the Mecromancer. A harsh cracking sound resonated around the battle as the roof caved in. "Now, midget where were we?"

Salvador felt the metal hand wrap around his head with the unnaturally strong grip. Wilhelm chucked the Gunzercker into a lamp post with enough force to shatter the wooden pole. Salvador moved slowly to cope with the pain he felt in his head all the while Wilhelm was right over him.

"Come here you little shit, we got a trip to take."

- --

The six Elements of Harmony and the two princesses of night and day couldn't help but feel worried as combat loaders surrounded them, along with two others.

A small golden brown robot that kept shouting about wubs and dropping the bass and a slender human female who held a sinister air about her stood above them.

"Boy oh boy, Handsome Jack will really give us a reward for getting you guys! But don't worry about the mind crippling torture that you'll soon experience, focus on the fun we'll have once we're all on the same side!" FR4G-TP spoke in it's unusually happy-go-lucky tone even when speaking about horrible things.

"Shut up or I'll make sure you won't see tomorrow."

Author's Note:

And boom goes the dynamite

Comments

[Raven Shadow]

5196513 I don't know if he was, but Jack could always build another

[Adixon524]

im going to guess that the mane six along with luna and the rest are going to resist but in a spactatculer way where they fight and use there magic to shield themselves as well but also in awesome arcs of epic beams which i think would just look spectaculer to me as well as everyone else little does handsome jack know but he just signed hios own death warrent in blood and gut s which i will do nothing but smile about

[Adixon524]

Why because this is going to be about how friendship is magic and they are probably going to be turned to stone all the other villans are its going to be kust eventual why because in there stone form they can never die or become re spawned which is just hell for handcome jack

[Adixon524]

by the way RAvenshadow did you happen to see the ending to borderlands presequel not saying what happans at all just wonerinfg if you saW it

[Hekate Sketch]

Yaaay! Jack's back! It's time to make him suffer a very slow, Agonizing death instead of a quick one!

....Where did I put my Arm....