"Krieg, I want to thank you for saving Fluttershy from that griffon... even if you did massacre them and nearly gave Fluttershy an heart attack." Celestia said in a sing song voice. "I'm truly in your debt."
"NIPPLE SALADS!" Krieg shouted in triumph. Maya giggled as Krieg shouted his ridiculous rants. Krieg sat across from the equestrian princesses, their beauty matched only with Maya's.
"And as a show of my gratitude you and your friends may have everything within the "vault" as a gift." Celestia smiled warmly at the vault hunters. Her eyes still red and puffy after she cried with joy of Fluttershy's safe rescue. It may have only been a few hours since Krieg's big triumphant return and hailed as a hero. But already Canterlot was ablaze with the new hero in it's midst. Many ponies gave praise to Krieg. (You know because he saved them). "I cannot thank you enough for what you did today."
"Humping skags in out house!" Krieg proclaimed in his standard of speaking. Salvador chuckled at the ludicrously funny statement. Axton humfped in hatred at all the tears and joy in the room.
"Excuse me?" A voice called out. It was the disc jockey from the Gala. "My name is Shadow Magic and I was wondering if your friend here could pay for-"
Gaige descended upon Shadow like a hawk gripping him with her robotic enhanced arm, gently stroking his mane. "Maya can we please please please please please please keep him!? I promise to take care of him and feed him and play with him and give him baths and snuggle with him when I go to sleep!!"
"Gaige please set him down." Maya said with giggle as Shadow began to be hugged violently. But with a rather loud and unnecessary groan Gaige set the colt down, still patting his head.
"As I was saying could your friend pay for the damages he did to my poor turn table?" He pointed a hoof dangerously at Krieg, who still rambled on about something or another. Shadow turned to see every pony inside and every vault hunter. Twilight Sparkle caught his full attention when his gaze fell upon her. "And I gotta say, you are one beautiful mare."
"Who's ready to flay some scalps?!" Krieg finally roared turning around.
...
Hyperion's moon base slowly drifted towards an unknown destination, on board though things were getting out of control. The scientists were preparing for another failure, even though they had gathered for a success. The New-U respawn station hummed to life and began to whir about as it processed the information.
"Annnnddd RESPAWN!" It called out to no one. It began to digitally reconstruct the body. Slowly and surely a man became more apparent to see. His body grew dense and whole with every second. Finally he stood upright in all his handsome glory.
"Jack's back bitches! And oh right, Blake I need a goddamn coffee NOW!" Handsome Jack commanded his lackys and co workers. "Where are those damn child murderers? Are they still on Pandora?"
Blake scrambled back with a full coffee mug. "Umm sorry sir, after you were killed, the vault hunters left Pandora and they went in two different groups off planet."
"WHAT?! THEY GOT OFF PANDORA? TELL ME WHERE THOSE SHIPS WENT! I want those child murderers dead yesterday, is that understood?" Jack rage in his seat that he claimed as his own. A group of scientists ran to and fro, each searching for any documents about the shuttles that left the planet.
"Uh here sir! The two that left went to separate ways. The "wanderlust" headed to the alpha sector of quadrant three-twenty four. And the "heavy hitter" was seen moving to the omaga sector of quadrant five-thirty three." One guy who no one care about said aloud.
"Send the base to the second one. We're bound to get some of these asses, like that douchbag of a commando Axton." Handsome Jack mused to himself with a hearty chuckle.
"Sir we found the vault hunters, one of our cameras caught them boarding the "heavy hitter"-" Was all the other random guy could say before hot coffee was spit directly into his face.
"Then what the hell are we still doing here?! Let hit them hard and hit them fast, like I did with ol balloon tits." Jack roared as his hand smashed a other guy in their face.