Every week, Equestria's princesses take a break from ruling their kingdom and discuss life. Usually over coffee.

Here are their assorted conversations.

Cover art by Grennadder. The story is marked complete because it's not a writing priority of mine, more a palette cleanser I come back to between harder projects

After the invention of radio, DJ-P0n3 (aka Vinyl Scratch) holds the first Equestrian talk show with her co-host Octavia. Octavia quickly finds out her superior is very eccentric, leading their broadcast to be constantly derailed, yet somehow remain popular. These episodes were recorded for historical significance and transcribed. These are the Vinyl Scratch Tapes.

[Update 1/25/13]: Fully updated to contain all of season 1 and 2, correcting a vast oversight on the part of the author. Sorry it took so long to update it fully on Fimfiction, guys.

Diplomacy has failed. Six years have passed Equestria's crowning of the princess of friendship, ushering in a supposed unprecedented age of peace and harmony. The concept of warfare is, to most ponies, nothing more than an unfathomable legend. They have let their guard down.

An unknown enemy has seized the opportunity to attack Equestria with terrifying new weapons of war, bent on taking the fertile land and restoring an ancient order. The valiant efforts of the Royal Guard have given Princess Twilight and her arcane scientists time to research and develop a response to their attackers, and the time has come for that response to be implemented. Utilizing weapons and tactics borrowed from another world, five squads under the command of Princess Luna will infiltrate the forests of the Equestrian Northwest to destroy a revolutionary magical matrix that Twilight refers to as the "radio" - a tool that allows enemy ponies to communicate across vast distances instantly.

Nightmare Two is comprised of three foalhood friends who, rather than be separated from each other in the draft, volunteer to become one of the five Nightmare squads. With their bodies forever altered to suit the needs of their mission, the three young mares join legions of ponies armed with powerful weapons to partake in a horrifying new breed of warfare - Equestria's first in over one thousand years.

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Heads up, folks. If you wouldn't mind leaving a comment alongside the thumbs-down, I'd appreciate it. This is my first foray into fan fiction and although it's a hobby I nonetheless wish to get better. :)

Got some FAQ's for you guys as well!

- Alternate universe in which the events of "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" did not occur. (As much as I loved it! :D)

- Numerical age tends to vary with headcanon, but the CMC here were just getting started with their adult lives when the draft went into effect.

- The war is pony v. pony, utilizing firearms and the Equestrian equivalent of a tank. The underlying headcanon is that ponies used firearms similar to muskets and tracked armored vehicles akin to our tanks in times of old, and what the enemy currently employs is essentially the natural progression of these technologies.

- There are no real-world weapons or equipment i.e. "Panzer IV," or "M16 assault rifle." Particularly acute details such as the caliber of weapons are also absent.

- Technology is based on that of WWI with some WWII elements. Firearms are primarily bolt-action.

- The "radio" spell matrix functions as what we know to be a radio, but is not identical.

- All four of a Night Mare's legs are permanently replaced by the augments.

- Night Mares are female. Stallions proved unable to properly animate the limbs.

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Hold up, now - fanart? You guys rock. Like, for real. Thanks a lot!

1. A great YouTube video coming from The_Pegasus_Box. Thanks, bud!
Check it out!

2. Click here for the collection on DArt.

3. https://derpibooru.org/740375?scope=scpeac921b191f688d04521575f31608785cbc3bbaa1
[img]https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/10/10/740375__safe_anthro_apple+bloom_gun_artist-colon-pusspuss_night+mares.png[/img]

At one time, Mount Olympus was the home of the Greek gods. Then they let the first pony in.

There goes the neighborhood

Editors: Tek, Themaskedferret, FanOfMostEverything, BluePaladin42, GhostOfHeraclitus

Cover art is Lady-Princess-Goddess by Cherryviolets and a commission for Mother-Of-Trolls
Now featured on Equestria Daily

Two magical prodigies cast in Twilight's shadow stumble about in somepony else's story and try to find meaning in their lives.

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An affectionate parody of Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
Which is in itself an absurdist and existentialist parody of Hamlet.

Russian Translation
Chinese Translation

Twilight's caught a special type of flu, and it's up to none other than Princess Celestia to nurse her through it. A special, tender little moment follows in this most unexpected of circumstances.

"My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will not remember me. You won't even remember this conversation. Just like with everypony else I've ever met, everything I do or say will be forgotten. Every letter I've written will appear blank; every piece of evidence I've left behind will end up missing. I'm stuck here in Ponyville because of the same curse that has made me so forgettable. Still, that doesn't stop me from doing the one thing that I love: making music. If my melodies find their way into your heart, then there is still hope for me. If I can't prove that I exist, I can at least prove that my love for each and every one of you exists. Please, listen to my story, my symphony, for it is me."

Cover pic by Spotlight: askspotlight.tumblr.com

He's misanthropic, anti-social, lazy, shallow, and kind of a jerk. He's also not very bright. So why on Earth -- any Earth -- would a complete stranger expend the magical energy necessary to shove him into another reality, give him unfathomable power, and grant his every last wish?

Why indeed...

As requested, here's my parody of the second-worst thing to ever happen to fanfiction.* The cover art is only tangentially related, but it amuses me, so I'll keep it unless something better comes along. (A talented artist who loathes this ponyfic sub-genre as much as I do might attempt at some point to draw the main character in all his gear, but I'm not counting on it.)

*The number one spot goes to Erika "Snowqueens Icedragon" Mitchell, a/k/a E.L. James.

The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

I have heard ponies say that living so long would be a curse. That it is a burden. That it can break a pony's mind. There is some truth to that. It can be hard to know that you'll always be left behind as others pass on. However, that is not the whole truth, I am also blessed. I have an opportunity to see history play out in front of me and tell future generations of the ponies behind the legends.

In audio form: http://youtu.be/mTGMfwcAcwQ