• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 9th, 2022


That semi-known writer with a few successes and an admin for Rage Reviews.


I have heard ponies say that living so long would be a curse. That it is a burden. That it can break a pony's mind. There is some truth to that. It can be hard to know that you'll always be left behind as others pass on. However, that is not the whole truth, I am also blessed. I have an opportunity to see history play out in front of me and tell future generations of the ponies behind the legends.

In audio form: http://youtu.be/mTGMfwcAcwQ

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 106 )

This story was great way of telling story with Twilight having eternal youth. The pace for this story was done great. I was hoping for a sequel when I got to the middle of the story, but I reached the end I was left with not being sure about whether this story should have a sequel or not. It didn't leave room for that, making it just one great Twilight short story read.

I like it as it is anyhow. Thanks for sharing.

Very, very well done. Outliving people is something mortal people do, and then they move on, so it's good to see an immortal Twilight who's not all mopey. Beautifully done.

Nicely handled. Nice to see a positive outlook on the whole immortality thing for once.

Honestly, the story felt like there could've been more to it. But it was still good. And it's only a generation or two in the future - I wonder how much different Twilight's thinking will be in a half dozen or more? So many more fond memories of ponies to keep going.

I'll admit, you caught me a bit by surprise when I read the synopsis. Personally, I'm a firm believer in the Curse of Immortality, but what you write here, what Twilight thinks, makes quite a bit of sense. There's a silver lining to everything, and the one to Immortality is remembering, knowing who they really were as opposed to knowing only that legends that overshadow the pony/person themselves.

Even today, with so much recorded history, we are still prone to picturing a historical person as having only a few certain traits. For lack of better example, so many people remember Adolf Hitler as a monster, an evil man who murdered millions, but next to no one knows of the artist behind the image, and the flirtatious man he could be.

I've never thought of Immortality like this, but I can see where you're coming from. A good story (if having a bit of problem with the past & present tense here and there, you might wanna take a look at that), that is also original. It's only in the Popular Box at the moment, but I'm hoping for a feature. You certainly do deserve it. I'll do my part to help.

Thanks. I'm glad you liked this take on the whole, eternal youth thing.

That was excellent. I had to scroll up and upvote for "double criminal" alone, but the rest of the fic was equally deserving of it.

Short but absolutely perfect as it is. That is something very rare around here. Be proud of what you have done author. Bravo *golf clap*

Nice work on this one author. You managed to warm my heart without pulling out "Mega-In-Your-Face-Feels RX® " :yay:

I especially like the way that you avoided blatant use of literary devices to emphasize emotional points as is done by so many longer pieces of work (albeit to great effect). Here we have scenes that flow organically, like a story doled out via word of mouth. Although, I feel like more sensory information could have been yielded, it may have gotten in the way of other aspects.

There is however, a small problem:

(paragraph 7 (I think))

Sapphire Surprise read the plagues as we passed them. It didn't take long to get where I was headed.

Surprise read the plagues as we passed them. It didn't

read the plagues

Otherwise, excellent work, keep being awesome!

*claps heartily*

Well done - while I suppose the story could have been a bit longer, it also feels like it managed to say all of what it wanted to say by being relatively short and to the point, without getting too caught up on details.

And I have to thank you for focusing on the positive side of immortality, there aren't nearly enough stories exploring the upsides of eternal life. For someone like me who never quite agreed with the whole "immortality is a curse" shtick - which feels a bit too much like pushing the limited human capacity and perspective forcibly on to the subject (As with all the things that we ourselves can't really understand or experience, the instinctive reaction is to fear, avoid and shy away from the unknown - humans fear what they don't understand, and no one can claim to understand what it means to be immortal), so something like this is a breath of fresh air as far as immortality focused fics go on this site.

Thank you for a short and very much enjoyable read.

(sorry just watched jump street)

Aw that's sweet. There are too many stories about how much it must suck for Twilight to be immortal. It's nice seeing one where she's not bummed out about it.

Simple story, not too complicated... but to the point and natural in feeling.

And frankly, I feel it tackle the issue rather well. I do believe that immortality is ultimately something good but it does demand a change in mentality, in how one perceive life and well, the mind take time to change. The reason I tend to dislike 'immortality is a curse' stories is because they assume that friendship and happiness are only fleeting while sorrow and despair are eternal. For obvious reasons, I dislike this greatly.

Regarding this story's take on it... what I find interesting it address it. It isn't merely about the memories of Twilight's friends empowering and making her happy, it is her teaching to countless generations who they were and in turn preserving their own memories. Though ponies die, through her their lives are forever remembered. And it also bring forth an interesting aspect: she will forever know new ponies. Not legends, new friends with their own little quirks and in turn, she'll teach their children who their predecessors truly were just as she'll remember them too.

An interesting approach to say the least.

Damn it. I put a g instead of a q. It's fixed now.

Thanks, I agree. While immortality definitely has its downsides, there's no need to always focus on that side of it. I kinda wish more stories would show the good sides to it as well.

To me, that's the single best part of having immortals and very long lived people around, they're like living history books but far better. There's so many interesting and weird parts of history and the ability to talk to someone who lived through it first hand would be amazing.

I feel like this story really should have included Spike in some way, as he'll be going through many of the same things that Twilight will (only
If you have a dragon's long life expectancy as part of your headcanon and obviously sans the actual immortality).

I thought about including Spike but decided that having another person there might make the scene too cluttered.

Nice and profound, without being overly melodramatic. Somber and sentimental without being sappy or sobby.

It's best read while listening to 4everfreebrony's Chant of Immortality.

Seeing here as an old, wrinkled up mare was odd.


There's a ton of sad and bittersweet stories about Twilight's possible eternal youth, so I thought I'd show a different side to it, a good side of it.

I still find it sad, but not quite as sad as others. There will no longer be memories to be made with those 5 ponies. Hopefully there is someway for her to have and eidetic memory.

While the whole question of whether Twilight is immortal is pretty much dead (she's not gonna live forever), this was still beautiful. Outliving people, especially those you've grown so attached to, is something that'd utterly destroy an emotionally weak person. It just goes to show how strong (this story's) Twilight is, which, to be honest, isn't too far from canon Twilight in that regard.

Have a fave and a like. :twilightsmile:

Even if Twilight's not going to live forever in canon, she will in my headcanon... just saying. :pinkiesad2:

5065010 Noooooo, the statement was deliberately ambiguous: Twilight Sparkle will not outlive her friends.

That can mean either she is still mortal, that something super ultra powerful will kill her before the rest (which, given the show's target audience is rather seriously unlikely), OR... they will all become immortal alicorns.

5063041 Sociopaths have an easy time with immortality since they don't give a crap about anyone! :pinkiecrazy:


"immortality is a curse" shtick - which feels a bit too much like pushing the limited human capacity and perspective forcibly on to the subject

I've been saying this very thing for years.

There's also a 'fox and grapes' element to it; the tendency to decide that something apparently unattainable is not desirable as a mental defense against the fear of failure.

5065827 She. Isn't. Immortal.

If not for the fact that she lacks the ethereal mane/tail, then because Celestia would never force immortality on Twilight without her consent, lest she be OOC.

5065859 We don't actually know anything for sure since it's never been touched on in the show. Also, didn't Twilight more or less ascend herself by finishing that spell while Celestia merely guided her through it?

Anyway, I applaud you on effectively using this argument in a positive light. I've seen/read basically the same thought process, that in x years/generations, my friends/family will be remembered, but only for y/z reasons, but read like this, it's more of a negative than a positive. So, great job! :yay:

5066286 Celestia is the one that sent her the book, so, yeah, it was all her doing.

5065859 Ah... but Cadance doesn't have the nebulous mane and tail either!

And when Luna was freed from the Nightmare, she was temporarily reduced to a pony with a normal mane and tail too!

Neither Discord nor Tirek have flowy aurora borealis hair, but they are exceedingly long lived/immortal as well!

Therefore, nebulous manes and tails are not a prerequisite indication of unnaturally long life in Equestria, but rather may indicate a higher tier of connection to something, such as the Sisters' connections with the Sun and Moon.

5066499 Yes, but they aren't ponies, either, so my point still stands. And besides, like I said, Celestia would be OOC to force immortality on somepony.

5066526 Well, she already 'forced' Twilight to become an alicorn Princess, sooooo.... :trollestia:

5066632 That's a pretty weak argument, dude. She wouldn't need Twilight's consent for making her an alicorn because there aren't any negative effects to doing so, whereas immortality is something she'd, with absolute zero doubt, give both Twilight and Cadence the choice of having instead of forcing it upon them.

True. Celestia definitely would have talked about the whole immortality thing if it was going to happen while inside that weird pocket dimension place. Though it wouldn't shock me if Twilight herself did something to stop her aging. She's devoted enough to Celestia to want to stay at her side, and she'd want be around for Spike, plus it would give her all the time in the world to study magic.


I don't think I'd want to be remembered that way.

but then she'd make it her goal to defeat death for everyone

5066972 I have a feeling most people would be at least a little annoyed if someone transformed them into anything without asking.

5071121 Who in their right mind wouldn't want wings/a horn/super strength?

Not my favorite but has a very true aspect to it, not many see in this light. some see glass half full, some half empty. mine is that it is completely full of both air and water.:pinkiecrazy:

5071178 What if you looked like the one eyed one horned giant purple people eater?

5073125 Show me proof such a thing exists.

5073958 It's about as real as alicorns are.

People also didn't know that he really liked dogs, along with how good an artist he was.

Nicely done story! It's a refreshing change of pace to see a positive spin on Twilight's immortality.

Only one tidbit stuck out to me for possible correction:

arguing with Dash over what Daring Do would do in certain situations,

Here you have "do" repeated twice in close proximity. Now, "Do" is a proper name in use here, but it still reads a bit awkward. May I suggest, "arguing with Dash over how Daring Do would act in certain situations"

Still, a nicely written piece. Good show! :pinkiehappy:

5071178 But Twilight didn't even get to ask about the DOWNSIDE!!

The immortality ANGST!!! Watching everypony she knows DIE!!!

Eh, who am I kidding. I'd be laughing. :trixieshiftright:

I really enjoyed this story and liked the positive spin with Twilight keeping the memories of her friends' true selves alive. A follow-up story where Twilight has seen a number of generations come and go and how her perspective may (or may not) have changed would be interesting but certainly not required.

One tiny chronological nitpick: the statue and story of Lightning Strike. He lived in a time that was: *only* 10 years into Celestia's reign, before Canterlot was built, and shortly after the tribes were united - yet the lousy cooking story stemmed from his inability to get a reservation at a good restaurant? Seems like it may be a bit early in the Equestria timeline for fancy dinner reservations. (Or perhaps my head cannon is off - in which case please correct me.)

Well, I guess fancy by that time's definition of it. Pretty much every time period had some places that were considered fancy and for the upperclass of society. And considering what we saw of Unicornia, that definitely seems like a part of their culture that they would bring to a unified nation.

That too. Heck, I betcha 90% of the people on the internet don't know just how much he did for Germany before everything went to hell... But anyway, let's change the subject!

Great Dane, or Golden Retriever. Which would you pick? xP

Heh, to use some less polarizing examples, just imagine talking to someone who personally knew men like Alexander the Great, Caesar, Genghis Khan, or Newton.

Great Dane. Golden retrievers are actually...really hard to train. Plus, I love big dogs, and really tiny dogs.

Login or register to comment