Queen Chrysalis likes it when I boop her on the nose. It helps her relax. However, one day, Princess Twilight Sparkle bursts in, thinking that Queen Chrysalis has put a spell on me.

Surely, when I explain to her that I boop her, she'll understand. Right?

Right?

Inspired by a delightful flash game that can be found here.

Featured on August 28th, 2016. This is as unexpected as it is amazing.

A thousand years is a long time to be cooped up in a city full of crystals.

Two years after the return of the Crystal Empire to the realm of Equestria, Flash Sentry was itching to board the next train to anywhere the first chance that he got. That chance came in the form of a reassignment when Equestria and the Empire merged their royal guard corps. He was shipped off to Canterlot to become one of Prince Blueblood's personal guard, a position of great honor and prestige. Flash was determined to perform his duties to the best of his abilities.

Of course, his best may not be enough seeing as how almost every mare on the planet wants to murder the good prince.

Editing by Sassy Ned and A Wild Hores

Twilight Sparkle has a special guardian while under the tutelage of Princess Celestia. A creature that turns intensely violent at the slightest threat against his charge. A creature that will maim and kill without concern if it has to, that will do anything to keep those it loves safe.
These are not these stories.
These are the stories from the inside. The stories that make a makeshift family work. The small moments. The little secrets. The normal life.

Short stories about Twilight's and Spike's life before the events of the Lunar Guardsman. Maybe a little funny, maybe a little sad, maybe a little sappy, certainly not on any chronological order. Chapters posted whenever I am taken by the mood to write one.

This is a collection of prequel stories to The Lunar Guardsman, an M rated story currently in progress by yours truly.

Many of the chapters are worthy of the Comedy tag, some of the Sad tag, and a couple of the Dark tag.

The Royal Guard has intensified their training regimen after countless attacks on Canterlot. They’re tougher, better, faster, stronger – and, after months of hard training, they only accept the best of the best. The Night Guard, the elite soldiers trained to protect Princess Luna during the evening, are similar to the Royal Guard, only ten times tougher.

Undeterred by the challenges that await him, Pipsqueak (now a full grown stallion) signs up to join the most elite soldiers in all of Equestria... The Night Guard.

He isn’t doing it for the fame or glory. Pip is motivated by one goal and one goal only: to fulfill a promise he made as a foal. He will become the guardian of the night.

This story is technically a sequel to The Dream Stalker, but it is not necessary to read that story first in order to understand this one.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png[/img]
(Featured on Equestria Daily!)
(Artwork from stupidyou3 on Deviantart)

The first time we danced, she broke my jaw in three places.

The life of a disposable minion in the service to the Dread Ahuizotl is filled with acts of senseless violence and hardship, normally ending in a hospital or unmarked grave, but for Disposable Minion #3, the job just got more interesting.

He fell in love.

And love hurts.

Credits to the amazing Luvlessi for the cover art
Background music: The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer
With a wonderful reading by Luvlessi
And a second reading by Crafty Reads
Featured on Equestria Daily

Mood Wings - Observations on Pegasus Body Language.

When Twilight Sparkle finds this book, she discovers an entirely new field of research. The secrets of pegasus wings lie before her, and she insists on making her own observations on the matter.

How?

Field research, of course.

Luna had spent a long, lonely millennium on the moon. Now back on Equestria, she is appalled to find out that Celestia has disbanded the royal harem. To reestablish this venerated tradition, Luna must choose a head concubine. However, her first choice might need a bit more convincing than she would have first thought.

This story is a sequel to You're NOT a Lesbian, Rainbow Dash!

Displeased at the chaos that their lack of basic sexual education has caused, Princess Celestia teleports Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle to her throne room to have a few words.

Unfortunately, Twilight manages to derail the conversation with something she sees as being of far greater importance.

Warning! Contains suggestive topic references of sexual nature.

Special thanks to Octavia Harmony for editing.

This story is a sequel to Ponies, Pirates and Peculiar Psychopaths

Chrysalis has been driven out of Canterlot, her invasion defeated. However, an old friend from her time before becoming queen is more than happy to help her succeed with her plans.

Will these two achieve their goals, conquering pony-kind and ruling over them with iron fist and hoof? Or will they be stopped in time, preserving the peace that Equestrian has known for as long as can be remembered? There is more than just dreams of world domination at work, though, this is personal for Chrysalis and her rediscovered assistance.

Hopefully, the line that 'Evil never triumphs' will prove to be correct, or else a drastic change is going to descend upon not just Equestria, but the entire world.

Thanks to Avatar of Madness for the coverart.

After trying, Twilight Sparkle becomes sure that she has indeed lost all hope and decides that she has officially given up.