The Twilight Years

by Crimmar

Hearts and Hooves day - Part 2

“I might be wrong,” Shining Armor started, skeptically, “but I think this is one of the old war rooms.”

Blueblood lightly tapped at one of the chairs and exaggeratedly coughed when a thick cloud of dust rose up. “What tipped you off? The weapons and armors on the walls, the maps, or the big sign outside on the door that said ‘War Room’?”

Shining Armor’s cheeks flamed at the sarcasm. “I didn’t notice the sign.”

Night Light patted Shining Armor’s shoulder. “There was no sign, son. Blueblood is just having fun in your expense.” When his son walked off with his confidence reestablished Night Light leant toward Cadance and whispered. “There totally was a sign.”

Cadance giggled knowingly.

“Is the Princess coming soon?” Twilight Velvet asked while she used her magic to float down a very large sword. “My little angel is anxious for her date, and I want to make sure she’s ready.”

“Honey, if you’re looking for accessories for her, know that I completely agree with your choice there.” Night Light inspected the blade. The edge had been dulled, but the point was still quite able to skewer somepony through. “We don’t want the young ruffi- colt to be getting any ideas.”

“Oh, shush you.”

No more than a minute or two later Princess Celestia limped into the room, chewing her lips full of worry and stress. “Thank you all for coming and being patient. We… have a small problem.”

“Is there something wrong with your leg, auntie Celestia?” Blueblood worriedly asked and allowed his aunt to sit on the chair he so painstakingly had cleaned.

“I had an… accident. Trying to kick one hundred and fifty kilograms of ungrateful stupid didn’t help. It will heal soon enough. Raegdan knows,” Celestia announced.

The ominous dread and gasps of horror she expected her statement to bring failed to materialize.

“Knows what?” Cadance asked innocently.

Celestia couldn’t help but pout that her efforts, and practice in using the completely right tone when she said ‘knows’, failed to impress. “He knows that Twilight has a date tonight.”

“You do? With whom?” Night Light levelled an accusatory hoof at Twilight Velvet’s muzzle. The mare hardly blinked as she caught it with her own hooves and twisted it around her husband’s back.

“Gyaaah!”

“The Princess means our daughter, you klutz,” she said, speaking a little louder to be heard over his groans.

“Point taken, honey. Let go, please?”

Shining Armor jumped forward, shaking. “Wait, how does he know? Which idiot told him?” he asked at large.

Princess Celestia raised her hoof, blushing. “I did.”

Shining Armor’s eyes took on the size of beach balls and his eyebrows vanished beneath his mane. “Oh. I, uh-”

Blueblood quickly dragged him back before he made even more of a fool of himself. “Two ponies are your parents, one is your marefriend, and the other is your sovereign ruler. No the best of odds for that kind of question, are they?” he urgently whispered in his ear.

Cadance tried to soothe their rising panic. “I’m sure there is no need to worry. What’s the worst that he can do?”

It is so strange, Cadance mused in her own head. Normally this is where my imagination should explode with images of violence, but it doesn’t. Oh wait, there it is… no, no. That’s memory, not imagination. That’s even worse.

“Great!” Night Light cheered with the joy of a father who would see his daughter remain untouched from any foul males the likes of him a little longer, despite -or perhaps due to- the bloody cost. “I guess the date is off then. Oh, what a pity,” he cackled.

Shining Armor couldn’t help it. His big brother instinct made it easy to see where his father was coming from. On the other hoof, he knew his sister quite well. “Twilight is going to be devastated,” he pointed out.

Cadance nodded in agreement, and kicked a small mound of dust in disappointment. “Poor filly was looking forward to this for days. She’s been worrying over what to wear for days. She’s going to cry nonstop when she- gnnh!” She choked on her own words and her expression was overtook by fear.

Twilight Velvet rubbed her pained forehead, the mother making the connection quicker than almost everypony else.

Shining Armor was the next one to understand their predicament. “Twilight is going to cry...”

“...And Raegdan’s going to want to know why...” Blueblood continued.

Cadance was the next to take the baton. “...And when she tells him…”

“Wait, wait, wait. That’s going to be his own fault though, right?” Shining Armor looked around for support.

“Well, yes,” Cadance admitted. “And then he’s either going to blame himself-”

“Which will mean he’s going to be extremely, ah, difficult for some time,” Blueblood noted.

“Or he might blame us for cancelling her date-”

“Which means he’s going to make it knowns to us how displeased he is feeling,” Blueblood helpfully supplied again.

“Or he’s going to blame the colt,” Cadance finished. “He’s going to blame the colt, won’t he?”

Blueblood froze, his veins feeling ice cold and his blond mane drooped in front of his face as if to portray his feelings. “Oh, that poor colt,” he whispered, terrified. “It’s doomed either way.”

“Then in that case, that date is happening,” Twilight Velvet announced after a minute. “I don’t care about any of that, I’m not having my little angel cry herself to sleep tonight.”

Cadance put her hoof down on the table in front of her, quickly pulling it back and frantically wiping away the cobwebs that snared it. “I’m sure if I can find Raegdan I can talk some sense into him. We’re probably worrying over nothing, and he’s just off brooding because he’s coming to terms that Twilight’s growing.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t know,” Twilight Velvet said in deep sarcasm mode and patting her husband’s head. “Some ponies are too stubborn to realise that.”

“You’re even worse,” Night Light mumbled, leaning into his wife’s touch. “You kept Shining Armor fed on your own breastmilk until he was-”

“Comeon,Cadance,let’scheckhisroomfirst!” Shining Armor rapidly fired as he dragged his marefriend away from hellish revelations.

-----

Shadows creeped on the walls, flickering through shapes and forms faster than the eye could distinguish. Shining Armor extinguished the torch and tried a light spell instead. The eerie movements stopped, but now he couldn’t stop but notice how quiet it was. He was already missing the warmth of the torch next to his cheek.

“He can’t be sleeping in here,” Cadance said as she looked all around the large storeroom. She kicked a hanging sheet whose greyness exploded into a cloud of dust, briefly revealing the faded white underneath. “Why would he sleep in here?”

“I dunno.” A place where nopony would expect to find him, full of shadows and artificially made corridors, where every step was a ringing, echoing alarm? Gee, he wondered what the paranoid biped saw in this place.

“Anyway,” he continued in an effort to stop Cadance from exploring every nook and cranny. “He doesn’t sleep here here. He’s got a small corner all tidied up. He’s probably there waiting for us.”

“Waiting? You think he heard me?” Cadance asked loudly. More dust and lint fell from the ceiling over her mane, greying it out..

“No, of course not. You have a voice as soft as a petal’s kiss,” Shining Armor assured her.

Cadance snorted behind her hoof. “Oh, you flatterer.” She waved her hoof in a ‘go away’ motion, and clanked it loudly back on the floor.

They weaved through the boxes and covered furniture, relying on Shining Armor’s memory and the fact that Raegdan’s hidey hole could only be in one of two remaining corners of the large storeroom. Shining Armor had only been here once, but he had no problem navigating in the wooden maze.

They reached Raegdan’s little corner with its sad pile of rags that worked as a bed on the cold floor, and the large wooden containers that helped make it into a little room, hiding away the depressing reality and keeping back the tide of dirt, grime, and dust.

Shining Armor didn’t dwell on that though. What he was looking at was the wall right next to it.

Cadance made a beeline for Raegdan’s personal space. “That’s where he prefers to live? Why?”

Shining Armor gulped as he made sense of what he was seeing. “Cadance…”

“Hey, he was photos pinned here. Aw, he even has one of me. Huh. Who is that supposed-”

“Cadance!” Shining Armor shouted. “Look!”

“I’m here, I’m here. What?” Cadance asked after she rushed to his side, her exploration cut short.

“Look!” Shining Armor repeated. His hoof pointed at a nail. It was half driven to the wall and bent so its head made a ninety degree angle upwards.

“It’s… a nail? Is this where he hangs his coat?” Cadance asked, mystified.

Shining Armor channeled more magic into his light spell, illuminated the space as much as he possibly could. He struck the wall below the nail with his hoof. “This is where he keeps that bow of his.” One more strike, to the right. “The quiver.” Strike. “A couple of daggers, at least the ones he doesn’t hide.” Strike. “The spear that Princess Celestia let him have. The two extra spears that he stole. We’re not sure if he knows that Princess Celestia knows.” Strike. “The tools he uses for, uh, preparing his catch when he goes hunting. Well, that’s all that I remember at least. I think he has a small axe as well.”

Cadance stared at the wall, fascinated. Her head rotated from left to right, slowly taking in everything.

“He really has all that?” she asked.

“Yes.” Shining Armor kept his answer straight and to the point.

She looked again. She had only known him to hold a dagger under his clothes. Correction; that’s what he had told her he had. She never expected him to have a full, personal arsenal. Even if it was mostly used for his hunting, he didn’t hunt small.

Which brought to mind a disturbing question.

“Then where is everything?”

The wall was bare, save from the empty nails.

“Cadance, I think we should go tell the Princess and my mom that Raegdan might not be brooding as you thought.”

-----

“Worry not, young Shining Armor. That goes for you as well, Cadance. I like my carpets without holes. Please refrain from making one, even if it’s so old,” Celestia soothed them, in her usual manner. She was too calm.

Cadance stopped pacing. They were back in the ancient war room, and the macabre decor didn’t help her mentally at all! “Auntie, Twilight is supposed to go on her date in a few hours, and we have no idea where Raegdan is, but we have a pretty good idea what he wants to do. How can we not worry?” Cadance was about ready to start pulling her own mane.

Celestia laid a wing on Cadance’s back in a gesture of assurance. “Everything is going to be ok.” Celestia leaned down, putting her head next to Cadance’s. “Twilight Velvet and I have a plan.”

“Is it a good plan?”

As far as Cadance was concerned this was teetering on the border of good and bad. She trusted her aunt to see them through, to make sure nopony would be harmed and everypony would be all and well. As far as Twilight Velvet went… well…

No offense to Shining Armor, but his mother would make sure nopony would be overly physically harmed -mental scars didn’t count-, and she would be assured to come out smelling roses herself while everypony else would come out praying that she wouldn’t share the embarrassing story to too many ponies.

“Twilight Velvet and I have a plan,” Celestia repeated.

-----

“This is the worst plan ever!” Shining Armor wailed.

“Look on the bright side. At least this way Twilight’s little coltfriend is going to be safe from any errant arrows,” Cadance said.

“They are not going to be errant at all. I’ve seen Raegdan shoot, and he’s got a very good aim. Trust me, any arrows that come for my skull won’t be errant at all!”

“You’re panicking, sweetie. Calm down. You’re making a scene.”

“Of course I’m panicking! You’re sending me off to die!”

“Nopony is sending you ‘off to die’. You’re being ridiculous. I’m here with you, am I not?”

“That’s easy for you to say! You’re disguised as Twilight! He won’t try to rip your heart out and feed it to you!”

Cadance glanced at her reflection on a store window. It worked almost as good as a mirror in the low lighted evening, despite all the lights, pink in their greatest part, lighting up Canterlot in honor of Heart and Hooves day. She expected to spend her day and evening with her very own special somepony somewhere public and fun, before retreating somewhere private and perhaps even more fun, not like… this.

Her tall stature was gone. She was now seeing everything from a much lower height that she had gleefully escaped on her way to being a mature mare. Her pink coat had turned purple, her mane had changed color and then enthusiastically attacked by Twilight Velvet, even her eyes had not survived the onslaught. Using magic and mundane means together they had managed to turn her into the perfect copy of Twilight Sparkle.

Next to her walked a young colt that seemed ready to pass out from hyperventilating. Shining Armor had shrunk as well, but he got to keep his white coat. His mane didn’t escape his mother’s clutches however, and she wondered if he would keep the bowl cut after he transformed back to normal. She hoped not. They had also colored it pitch black. It really, really didn’t suit him at all.

“If we’re lucky maybe Raegdan will attribute your state to dating jitters. It might help to really sell this charade,” Cadance noted, hoping that Raegdan would also attribute Shining Armor’s shaking to the night’s chill.

“Well, if you think it will help I can do even more scared!” Shining Armor almost yelled, looking around with naked fear.

Cadance held his head still with her hoof, and immediately pulled it back. Twilight would never lay a hoof on her date so casually. She would be too shy. She needed to act like Twilight in case Raegdan was somewhere nearby, watching them. Shining Armor needed to act his part as well.

“Please calm down. We’re going to be ok. Remember, Princess Celestia herself is keeping an eye on us, as is your mother, and we’re out in public. We will be fine.”

Shining Armor took a few deep breaths. “Ok. Ok, I can do this. I can do shield spells. I just need to be on my guard and I’ll be fine. I’m ok.”

“That’s the ticket!” Cadance cheered him on while privately hoping he wouldn’t be casting a shield with every little sound. She needed to calm him down, take his focus elsewhere. “So, care to explain the perfumes?”

“The what now?” Shining Armor asked, quickly turning his head back to her. Cadance once again marvelled at that bowl cut. Not a single hair dared to move out of place. It was like it was made out of shiny black metal.

“You have more perfumes on you than I do.”

“Oh that.” Shining Armor used one of his front hooves to showcase his blue bowtie. “That’s all Blueblood. He also dressed me in this, and pinned this daisy on me as well.”

“You mean glued,” Cadance corrected him, inspecting the white flower on Shining Armor’s chest.

“Pinned. With a very pointy pin. Then he basically doused me in perfume. Honestly, if he had the time to spare I think he would dress me up like a doll for hours.”

“You don’t say.” Cadance was reminded of the looks of pure want aunt Celestia and Twilight Velvet had as they chose a dress for her. Something told her that she’d want to get rid of her disguise as soon as possible. “That’s kind of him though.”

“Yeah, I guess. I just wish he hadn’t kept hugging me like that.”

“He did wha-”

Cadance’s clip-on earing buzzed, and from Shining Armor’s expression, so did the small bandaid they had stuck on his ear.

“Bzzt. Decoy, come in. Do you copy, decoy?”

“Yes, aunt Celestia, I hear you fine. How’s the range on this?”

“Absolutely ridiculous. I’m forced to float on a cloud over you to get it to work. Don’t look up. At least we have a good line of sight to everywhere around you.”

“Come in, meat bait. Do you copy, meat bait?”

“Mom, I really wish you’d come up with another code name,” Shining Armor whined.

“Wait,” Cadance interrupted. “Where is she? She’s a unicorn, she can’t ride on a cloud!”

“Correct. She’s riding on my back.”

“You always brood on how you’d like to stop being treated like a princess all the time.”

“There’s quite the difference between treated like a normal pony and treated like a flying carpet.”

“Can we focus, please?” Shining Armor hissed. “Can you see Raegdan? Is he following us?”

“I can’t see him, but that doesn’t mean much. I’m sure he’s following you though. We made quite a big fanfare of the two of you leaving so he wouldn’t be around the castle when Twilight does. He has to be somewhere around.”

“Cadance, honey, this is where you’re supposed to have your date. Go inside.”

The restaurant in question was a crystal palace. Glass shone everywhere. It was one of the most expensive establishments in Canterlot, and it only accepted customers by reservation. It was the perfect place to set their trap, and thanks to Princess Celestia there had been no difficulty in making a last minute reservation for themselves. Nopony would also disturb them, and considering who she was supposed to be Cadance believed nopony would find it too strange to see her here either.

“Oh. Great. Windows everywhere.” Shining Armor looked at the building with dread,

“We had to make sure we had a good view, and it would let Raegdan get a good view as well. We will look for him while the two of you keep him distracted.”

“Meat shield, offer your hoof and escort the lady inside.”

“Moooom…”

“Time to learn how to woo your date, honey. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of pointers.”

“Raegdan, please, shoot me now,” Shining Armor mumbled.

-----

“I think I saw something move out the east window,” Shining Armor hissed urgently, pushing away his plate and staring.

“That was a pigeon, Shining. Can you please-”

“Raegdan might be there and he scared it off! There! Again!” Shining Armor pointed with his coltish hoof, shaking all the while. “Did you see it? Did you?”

“That was us, Shining Armor. Nothing here as well. He’s hiding pretty well. You should calm down. If you don’t stop sending us all over like that he’s going to notice us.”

“Shining, look, we already missed our date tonight. Maybe we can make the best of this, what do you say?” Cadance said.

“Oh sure.” Shining Armor pulled his plate back and seasoned his soup with enough salt to make a pony’s blood pressure explode. “A nice romantic dinner, an arrow crashing through the glass as it heads for my forehead, a closed casket funeral… We can have daisies on my coffin! Hay, I already have one!” He slurped his soup loudly and grimaced. “It needs more salt.”

“I have a plan.”

“Oh for… Mom, please, no more plans! Please.” Shining Armor closed his eyes, the perfect image of a pony facing death row.

“We need to bring Raegdan out in the open. Decoy, go sit next to meat bait.”

“Velvet, are you sure-”

“Two birds, one stone, Princess Celestia. I know what I’m doing.”

Cadance moved next to Shining Armor, just like Velvet told her to. “Now what?”

“What we have here is a couple, sitting next to each other. Shining Armor, pay attention, honey. Sitting opposite your date is well and good… sometimes. Other times however you need to break the ice. You need to make it more intimate.”

“Kill me,” Shining Armor said to Cadance, looking her straight in the eye. “No, really, kill me.”

“Let’s assume you actually said something funny or smart instead. Decoy, giggle.”

Cadance did as directed, putting on a good impression of Twilight covering her laugh behind her hoof.

“Excellent. Now, you are talking, getting closer. You slowly lean deeper and deeper as you whisper quieter by the second, forcing your date to approach in order to listen as well. Your heads come together, smiles encroaching on your lips…”

-----

“Velvet, I think there might be something wrong with you,” Celestia said, keeping her eyes glued on the scene.

“Yeah, I’m missing my daughter’s first kiss, that’s what’s wrong. Thankfully, I’m brilliant!” Velvet activated her talker again. “Now…”

-----

“...You are close enough. The lights, the witty repartee, the closeness, it all comes together. The magic of the moment brightens and… now you kiss her!”

Shining Armor hastily pulled back. “What? Never!”

Cadance stayed where she was for a second, her lips still waiting. She rose up as well, anger rising with her. “What?”

“I’m not kissing you!” Shining Armor yelled. “No way!”

“No way? You had no trouble kissing me while hidden in a cupboard, but now that we’re actually on a date you won’t?”

“How can I?” Shining Armor shouted at the top of his lungs. “You’re my sister!”

The low buzz of conversation in the restaurant cut short as everypony stared, their jaws slacking open.

-----

Velvet turned towards the princess which had almost swallowed half the cloud in an effort to stifle her laughter. “He takes after his father mostly. I blame him. It’s Twilight who took after me.”

-----

“Are you really so shallow?” Cadance demanded, furious now. “Is the outside so important to you? I thought you cared about me!”

“I do care about you, but-”

“Why don’t you prove it then?” Cadance ripped the napkin around her throat and threw it on the table. “Kiss me!”

“I- I can’t-”

“What, can’t get in the mood? Do I need to shake my flank to excite you? Or do you need a dark space to crawl in before you start feeling me up?” Somewhere behind Cadance a mare fainted and her fellow diners rushed to save her from drowning in her soup.

“Perhaps get lower down and open my mouth, just like you fantasize? Yeah, I know about that!” She pointed at her horn. The casualties in the restaurant started to increase as the patrons heard aghast the two pre-teens fighting. Waiters rushed outside to bring medical help. “Apparently that should be enough since you only bother with appearances!”

“But you look like-”

“It shouldn’t matter! I’m still me and you know it perfectly well! If you love me, really love me, and not lusting after a body, then prove it. Come here right now and kiss your sister senseless or it’s off!”

-----

“Before you say anything,” Celestia said, holding up a hoof, “she’s adopted.”

“Uh, huh.” Twilight Velvet nodded. “I don’t see Raegdan anywhere.”

Celestia took a look below herself, certain she would see no sign of the crafty biped. “Well, he must have figured it out by now.” She turned her gaze back to the show through the windows and smiled. “At least you’re getting a reasonable facsimile of your daughter’s first kiss.”

“Hmm. I don’t know. I doubt my little angel would use so much tongue in her first kiss,” Twilight Velvet pondered, but still paying close attention.

“I suppose the fact that it is her brother doesn’t disturb you?”

“Oh, please,” Velvet said with a huff. “If I couldn’t distinguish between fantasy and reality then my marriage would be in tatters years ago.”

“...What exactly do you and your husband do?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older. Oops. They’re bringing the Guard.”

“Great. Let’s go down and explain it somehow.” Celestia sighed. “We need to rush and find Twilight and her date. Raegdan will be looking for them now.”

“She’s the Princess of Love, isn’t she? We can always say she was trying out a new kink…” Twilight Velvet offered as an explanation as Princess Celestia brought them in front of the restaurant where rich, posh, and noble customers were running out of in droves.

-----

Twilight kicked a small pebble in her way, grumbling. It was all so stupid. Hearts and Hooves day, pink, and balloons, and hearts, and special -hah- someponies, and all. Stupid. Who needed it? She didn’t! She had her books, and she had them all year long. She didn’t need no stupid colt to make her mad and waste her day.

“Stupid colts, stupid stallions, stupid illiterate ponies, stupid dresses, stupid ponies making me excited for nothing, stupid stupid ruining it all…” She sniffed and wiped her nose.

Something clattered loudly in the dark. Twilight stopped in her tracks. She should have gotten back to the castle by the way she came, but the stupid colt was going that way back, and she didn’t want to walk with him any more. So she took to the alleys.

Maybe that wasn’t so smart.

Twilight steeled her resolve, and chased her fear away. It was easy enough to do. She never felt really scared. Not anymore. It had been years since the last time she did. She walked towards the noise, unafraid and forgetting that her shield against fear wasn’t with her, and lighted her horn with her magic, bringing light to the darkness.

Raegdan was there, hastily putting the lid back on a trashcan.

“Raegdan? What are you doing here?”

Her guardian turned around almost in a panic, and greeted her with a raised palm. “Oh, hey little one. I was… eating a banana. Just, you know, throwing the banana peel away.”

“No, I mean, what are you doing here?”

Raegdan came next to her and kneeled down, his eyes focused and filled with love. “Just looking out for you, little one. You’re not with your date. Did something happen?”

Twilight looked away, pouting. “He was stupid…”

“Little one? What happened? Did he hurt you?”

Twilight took a deep breath and started explaining. “We were going to the restaurant my mom reserved for us. We were talking on the way, and we started telling each other about our hobbies. I told him I liked books, and…” Her face soured once more, and she closed her eyes.

“And? Little one, what happened? It’s ok, you can tell me-”

Twilight fell on his chest with the speed of a train. “He said books are boring and stupid!” she sobbed.

Raegdan’s palm ran down her mane and back, trying to calm her down. “It’s ok, little one. It’s ok. Like you said, he was stupid then. Do you want me to go find him and teach him a lesson?”

“I don’t know.” The idea did have some merit in Twilight’s current state. “Maybe you could beat some sense to him with some hardcover books.”

“Little one, by the time I’m done with him he will be pooping knowledge for weeks!”

Twilight laughed, feeling relief come and replace her distress. She wiped her eyes again, this time from happy tears. “Nah, it’s ok. He’s not worth ruining a book for.”

“Are you absolutely sure? Maybe an old, boring one? Just say the word, and I’ll give him a reason to cry as well.” Raegdan barely held his growl in check.

“Not even that. He’s the one that’s boring. I don’t want to even think of him any more.” She let go of her guardian and stood on her own legs. “I guess we go home now?”

Raegdan looked left and right, inspecting the area they stood in. He dug in his right pocket, and took a number of bits out. “Well, little one, I don’t have a lot on me, but Donut Joe is close by and he’s willing to give me credit if we go overboard. What do you say we go there so I can say I spent a night out in Canterlot with a beautiful lady?”

Twilight’s stomach rumbled at the thought of delicious donuts. She hadn’t eaten almost anything all day, half due to her nerves, half because she wanted to keep her appetite for the restaurant.

“Can we have milkshakes too?”

“Little one, you order it, you get it. Do you want to walk or ride?”

Twilight thought for a second. “Ride. These shoes are really uncomfortable.”

Raegdan bent down so Twilight could climb on his back and they set off to the land of warm, cream-filled pastries.

“You know, I think Princess Celestia was looking for you today. Where were you?” Twilight asked.

“Hmmm? Oh, nowhere in particular. Just sitting in a corner in an old, dusty war room of hers.”

“Really? Why?”

“No reason. By the way, little one. If you ever want to set up a secret meeting, remember to send notes instead of telling messengers to send ponies somewhere. You never know who’s listening.”

“What does this have to do with anything?” Twilight asked, curious.

“Nothing. Just something random I said. Oops, we’re on hard terrain! Better hold on!” Raegdan started bouncing her up and down, half jumping as he walked, making Twilight giggle in excitement and joy, her brief foray into Hearts and Hooves day disappointment already forgotten.

-----

A colt noticed something shining near the dumpsters. He approached to inspect, and found treasure beyond his wildest dreams.

“Hey, guys! Come see this!”

“Gosh! Are those weapons? Who threw them?”

“I want the spear!”

“I’ll take that knife.”

“It’s called a dagger, dummy.”

“Hey, another spear!”

“What is this? Hey, there is something filled with tiny spears in here.”

“What should we do with these?”

The gang of easily excited colts only had to think for a second.

“Let’s play war!”

-----

Celestia meant to examine the document carefully, but she stopped as soon as she read the first few sentences. “Paisley, why exactly are we being sued? Is this about Cadance and Shining Armor again? I thought we came to an settlement with the restaurant.”

“No Princess, but if you keep reading you will see that these parents do have a point, you have to admit. All these weapons the colts used did have the castle’s mark,” her majordomo said without turning away from his own pile of work.

“Weapons? Colts?” Celestia’s eyes searched for the appropriate paragraph. “Three spears, three daggers, one axe, and… one bow…”

“Luckily there was no real damage, and-”

“RAEGDAN!”

Comments

[Xzrea]

I should have guessed what Twilight's impression of date would be.
And they should have guessed that Raedgan would prefer calming Twilight over traumatizing the colt.
And he ... should have guessed that to attack the colt when he's near Twilight is not a good idea cause she'll see it, so it is OK not to take the weapons. On the other side, to relocate all of them to make Shining and Cadence fear was good.

[Hein des Nisseroi]

Trying to kick one hundred and fifty kilograms of ungrateful stupid didn’t help.

Does said 150kg of ungrateful stupid cost $400.000 to fire for 12 seconds?

[Mr Dorito]

Even when be doesn't mean to, he somehow pisses off Celestia.

If he planned all that, then he is one clever motherfucker.

[Kevin Lee]

Blueblood quickly dragged him back before he made even more of a fool of himself. “Two ponies are your parents, one is your marefriend, and the other is your sovereign ruler. Not the best of odds for that kind of question, are they?” he urgently whispered in his ear.

Best line of the chapter!
(BTW, needs missing "t")

I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Twilight Velvet and Celestia sure have great repertoire.

But I have to wonder how long it was from the time when Celestia kicked him until she showed up in the War Room?? (if it was implied that he was already there in a dark corner listening to them all)

And poor Raedgan still gets in trouble even though he didn't do anything....

[primeoetgrunn]

Colts finding weapons? You thinking what I think you're thinking?
Let's fighting love!

[RanmaChaos]

Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.

[Explosions]

The spears were stolen. Maybe those colts stole the spears. Or bought them. Either way, i'd like to see that family try to prove the crown guilty.

[Dj7291993]

I had a feeling it would go something like that. Well, the part with Raegdan and Twilight, not the other bits. Another great Chapter! Thanks for the laughs and for keeping the greatness coming. Looking forward to the next gem, and I hope you're feeling better.

[Tianna]

8015756 actually moving the weapons was a master stroke of genius, it made the adults freak out, and get far away from the date with their hijinks, and gave the date a better chance.

throw in the solitary trusted adult to fix things if the date went south, and he's just pulled a Batman Gambit!

[Xzrea]

8015818
Don't touch Sasha!

[BeardedRedMane]

Hah, incest. This would be more funny if yesterday I didn't wiggle-waggly! to Shining Armor and Twilight p0nies.

Seriously, I chuckled hard though, keep this shit up I love it.

[HB_DS2013]

Some brain bleach would be nice, especially since I'd like to forget the fake incest scene.

[harts fire]

lol this is too good.

[Kornwallis]

Something they forgot to consider is that Raegdan would never kill Twilight’s date in front of her. That would traumatize her and make her cry. No what he would actually do is abduct the colt when she wasn’t looking, take him somewhere hidden and torture him there.

[Black--Soul]

Unexpected in many ways, very entertaining in all of them.

Poor Twilight, better luck next time.
Using real weapons to play...
Colts are not that bright...