//------------------------------// // Hearts and Hooves day - Part 1 // Story: The Twilight Years // by Crimmar //------------------------------// Celestia whistled a merry, little tune as she carelessly applied a thick layer of butter over an aromatic, steaming hot piece of toast. She mused on the song’s origins as her knife slowly build a boundary wall of butter around the toast, preparing a bowl-like delicious container for the incoming flood of jam. None of her ponies had recognized the tune so far this morning so she was suspecting it was another half-forgotten piece that she had heard sometime in the past centuries. It brought the image of a Royal guard in mind and a happy smile that didn’t have anything to do with the music itself. She suspected she heard that pony whistling his happiness to the world on a day very much like today. Now, onto the first important decision of the day. Did she want to risk finding out if Alicorns could get diabetes by way of peach or cherry jam? She judged the containers, and contemplated the merits of strawberry- oooh, honey! No, too sweet and drippy, she had standards to uphold but… well, it was meant to be healthy, wasn’t it? Far be it from her to deny a healthy lifestyle, she thought as she prepared two more buttered toasts for her jam choices. She could afford to splurge, she was making it up by being so consciously dietary healthy after all. One of her most recent guest additions to her breakfast table sat next to her as she finished preparing her own feast. Raegdan ate his usual breakfast. Bread with just the barest of honey and plenty of water. “We have more than just bread, you know,” Celestia chuckled, using the same old, tired argument. Raegdan chewed slowly and swallowed, his eyes red from lack of sleep. “Bread’s good enough,” he answered the same way he always did. Celestia decided to dig a little deeper today. “I know you like sweet tastes, so I really don’t understand why you choose to have such a bland breakfast.” “If you must know,” he surprised her, “it’s because it’s exactly what I used to have in the morning most often back home. I liked sleeping in so I didn’t have time to waste on anything complicated if I wanted to get to work in time.” “Oh. I see.” Celestia was a little sorry that she pestered him so often for what was essentially a small ritual that connected him to his old life, but at the same time exceptionally happy that he felt in home enough to do so on her table. “Did you use to hold conversations in the mornings as well?” she asked, smiling. “No,” he said, dryly. Celestia’s smile fell a little, and Raegdan chewed with a thoughtful look. “But there was this device I used to keep activated that told the news and similar. I liked listening to the chatter. This isn’t half bad.” Celestia accepted the invitation. She pointed at the bags under Raegdan’s eyes with her stained butterknife. “I assume your determination to keep watch over Twilight and her parents last night amounted to little else than loss of sleep.” Raegdan’s expression soured half-heartedly. “I had a bad feeling, and for all we know nothing happened because I was spotted. As long as the little one is safe I’ll take that as a win.” “Whatever floats your boat, as they say,” Celestia said, dismissing his constant worrying. “Do you have time to help me get through the Day Court a little faster today?” Raegdan yawned, covering his mouth. “Easy enough. That’s always fun. Am I the complaint department again or do you want me to start up a fight so you can have an excuse to ditch?” Predatory teeth flashed in an anticipatory grin. “I was thinking we could try something new today. Have you seen the new flower display the gardeners made near the maze?” Raegdan grimaced in the memory. “The one that’s arranged like a familiar white Alicorn with-” “-Motherly characteristics, yes,” Celestia finished for him. “I was going to say ‘ponies that suckle on her like a-” “-Canine of the female persuasion?” “...That works,” he shrugged. “What about it?” Celestia fluttered her eyelids at her friend, making it obvious how much she wanted this favor done. “Do you think you might thoughtlessly decide to set up your hideous grill in the gardens, ignoring everypony else’s concerns over cooking meat in the open? And might you also be clumsy enough that you drop a lit coal or two?” Raegdan fought to keep his laughter from exploding. “For you, I’ll accidentally set a bottle of alcohol on fire and throw it right there. Do you want me to salt the earth too?” “Let’s not go overboard,” Celestia laughed. “Give me an hour to finish up the really important ones. Then I’ll come get you and throw you in the usual cell so you can get a nap while Twilight is busy. Is she coming back today?” The biped nodded, refilling his glass water. “Yeah, she’s on her way with her parents. The streets are busy enough that she’ll be fine. I popped ahead to have some time to eat.” “Good. I was looking forward to today.” Celestia used her magic to spread the thin, white curtains even further apart, the room flooding with morning sunlight. “It’s going to be a beautiful day,” she sighed. The biped raised a hand to block the sudden onslaught of light from further assaulting his eyes. “Alright, you braggart, nice job, can you bring it down a notch?” “Aw, you noticed,” Celestia laughed, doing as he asked and brought the curtains to their prior position. She took a bite from her cherry jam loaded toast. “I did as much as I could to place the sun in the perfect orbit. After all, today is very special for a young mare.” “Pardon?” Raegdan asked, suspiciously. “I’m buying you a calendar,” Celestia decreed, taking a bite from her peach jam toast and closed her eyes in bliss. “It’s Hearts and Hooves day, Raegdan. The day to celebrate your special somepony. There’s going to be-” Celestia stopped, as soon as she opened her eyes again. Raegdan had vanished. ‘Either he has learned new tricks or this is the day I find out I’ve grown senile,” Celestia thought, disturbed. Her introspection of both frightening prospects was cut short by her niece skipping happily as she entered. Cadance practically glowed as she half-danced to music only she could hear, a pink ribbon on her hair swaying with every bobbing of her head. “Good morning, Cadance. Excited about today?” Celestia reached with her hoof and straightened the ribbon. Cadance nodded, her eyes sparkling. “Very, aunt Celestia. It is such a beautiful day too,” she observed. “Thank you,” Celestia said, blushing slightly at the praise. “Any special plans?” she asked, smirking. “Nothing much. Just going to walk around Canterlot mainly, soak in the atmosphere,” Cadance said, suspiciously waving her hoof in a nonchalant manner that failed to fool Celestia. The white Alicorn raised an eyebrow. “And are you meeting with a certain pony by any chance? Perhaps one named Shining Armor?” “Mmmmaybe… Oh, that reminds me!” Cadance yelped, smacking her forehead. “Have you seen Raegdan? I need a stallion’s thoughts on a few… questions I have.” Five digits circled around Celestia’s leg beneath the table and gripped warningly. Celestia barely stopped herself from jumping up in surprise. “...Questions about what?” Celestia asked as innocently as she could, making sure she didn’t glance down where Raegdan hid behind the tablecloth. Cadance noticed something was off, but was derailed by her aunt’s question. “Oh, uhhh… Dresses! I wanted to ask his opinion on dresses!” Celestia frowned, puzzled. “Why ask Raegdan? How could he possibly be of help?” “Oh, he knows a lot. He read on the subject when he told Shining Armor abouuut…” Cadance was suddenly sweating, barely steering herself off from completing the sentence. “Dresses?” Celestia helpfully and sarcastically supplied her niece with the code word she was using to futilely fool her. “Yes! Dresses! Many questions! Much wonder! Any idea where he is?” Raegdan gripped harder, making Celestia jump in surprise this time. She tried to play it off as a hiccup. “I’m sorry, Cadance. I don’t think he’s… available right now.” Cadance was inspecting the table suspiciously. “Is something the matter, aunt Celestia? It looks like there’s some-” Cadance’s magic suddenly lift the tablecloth, revealing Raegdan crouching near Celestia, his hands grabbing her legs. “Wh- What are you doing?” She asked, nonplussed, her eyes wider that the plates on the table. Celestia heard Raegdan answer. “I’m… eating. It is time for breakfast anyway.” He did not just say that. Not the way he was curled against her legs, grabbing them both by the ankles! Apparently he did. Cadance’s face went red as her jaw dropped and she slowly started retreating. “Cadance,” Celestia said, warningly, her own face flushing red despite her attempts at staying calm, and reinforcing the false idea that was implanted in her niece’s head. “Cadance, get your mind out of the-” The door slammed open and the young, pink Alicorn ran as if the Cerberus of Tartarus was hot on her heels, screaming her lungs out. “You ruined the holidayyyyy…” “-gutter.” Celestia sighed and lifted the tablecloth so she could take a peek at the biped. “You have to tell her the truth one of these days. Now come back out here.” Raegdan pulled the tablecloth back down. “Get out from there!” Celestia repeated. “No!” Raegdan vehemently refused, holding the end of the tablecloth down by force, denying Celestia’s magic from affecting it. “Not until the whole menagerie of idiots has passed and gone!” “What menagerie-” “Good morning, Princess Celestia,” Shining Armor greeted as he came through the open door. “By the way, the ghost banshee is back. I could hear its wail on my way here. The maids have all gone running out again.” Celestia bit her lip to hold the mischievous smirk in check. What was done to Cadance wasn’t funny. It wasn’t. It really, really, really was just the tiniest bit funny, and that was wrong. It was wrong. But still funny. “Good morning, Shining Armor. I suppose you’re looking for Cadance?” “Actually, Princess, I was looking for Raegdan.” Yep, there was a vindicated grip on her leg again. If this kept on like that she would be half limping for the rest of the day, and won’t it drive Cadance mad to see her walking funny? “Any particular reason?” Celestia marvelled at how popular Raegdan became on days like these, and slightly suspicious that there was a joke being played on his expense. If it was then they had left her out of the loop, and that just wouldn’t do. “I’m meeting Cadance later on,” Shining Armor explained, his cheeks tinging red. “I, uh, wanted to ask a few questions… get some advice, you know. Perhaps an idea for- for a gift or something.” Celestia discreetly kicked the hidden alien under her table to stop him from bruising her legs any further the way he warningly punched at them. “I’m sorry, Shining Armor, but I don’t think he’s available now. Maybe you’ll run into him later.” Shining Armor nodded with a look of disappointment. “Thank you, Princess. Maybe I will. I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast.” “It is no problem at all. Good day to you, Shining.” She waited until the door shut, pulled the tablecloth up so she could have an easier time targeting, and started kicking. “Get out of there now, and come up here!” Raegdan crawled out of range, still hiding under the long table. “I’m not risking getting caught between another idiotic pair. I’ve had enough, thank you!” “Cadance and Shining Armor have left, there’s nopony left to-” “Hello, aunt Celestia. Who are you talking to?” Blueblood asked, curiously searching the room for Celestia’s unseen guest. “Nopony. Just… myself.” She quickly straightened the tablecloth, and plastered a fake smile over her lips that she hoped didn’t look as manic as it felt. “Oh. Uh, well… Good,” Blueblood stammered, hesitantly. “Do you need some time alone to… talk?” Celestia could practically hear his brain shouting out 'senility'. “No, that’s ok,” Celestia quickly said, sensing Raegdan getting back in range and covertly kicking again and felt her hoof connect with soft, fleshy tissue with a deep sense of satisfaction. “I don’t suppose that you’re looking for Raegdan?” Raegdan’s grip warned her not to mention his whereabouts at all. Blueblood shook his head. “Oh, gracious, no. I couldn’t stand to see him today of all days. I only wanted to ask you, auntie, if you could do me the favor of delivering this to him when you see him,” he said, levitating a pink envelope towards her without looking anywhere near her. “Is that a-” “Thank you, aunt Celestia, bye!” Blueblood almost screamed as he ran out, blushing furiously. “Oh heavens, what did he give you?” Raegdan asked, unseen and full of dread. Celestia opened the envelope, knowing that Raegdan wouldn’t mind, and not caring that much of whether he did at this point. “Well, you have a not-so-secret admirer according to this delightful Hearts and Hooves day card.” “Kill me. What does it say?” “Apparently your resolute character and firm torso have made quite the impression on my young nephew,” Celestia said, holding a hoof over her lips to stop any snorts that risked coming out. “I don’t suppose the feelings are mutual?” “I swear, I’m not coming out of here until tomorrow. Is everyone pulling a joke on me? Why do they come to me with this shit?” he rhetorically asked, mirroring her own suspicions. “What do you want to do with the card?” Celestia asked. “Would you like me to enlarge and frame it?” “Start a fire with it.” “Raegdan,” Celestia admonished. “That isn’t nice at all. Blueblood put a lot of work and how he feels in this to simply burn it or throw it away.” “Fine. You’re right.” There was a pause as Raegdan thought. “Erase my name, put Shining Armor’s on it, and deliver it to him.” “This is just evil,” Celestia noted, opening the card once more so she could make the change on the text inside as well. “Done. Are you coming out to finish eating properly?” “I’m fine down here. So, what were we talking about?” Celestia hummed in thought as she tried to recollect. “Oh, right. I had mentioned that today is a very important day for a young mare.” “Yeah, yeah,” Raegdan said, sounding exhausted. “I get it. Heart and Hooves day is very important for Cadance, she’s the Princess of Love, yada, yada, yada. Good for her.” “It is good for her,” Celestia agreed, eager to deliver the news nopony had seen fit to mention to Raegdan yet, “but she’s not the one I was talking about.” “Pardon?” Celestia sat back, smiling content for her young charge. “Twilight Velvet arranged it, but even so Twilight herself is very eager, and it will do her good to do something different. We even have a small betting pool on whether there will be a kiss or not. Twilight has a blind date with the cutest, little colt toda-” Raegdan’s grip became so tight that Celestia felt her bone fracture.