• Published 6th Nov 2014
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Doing His Duty - Dick McKickEm



Flash Sentry is sent to Canterlot to be Blueblood's personal guard. It's no surprise to find that a sizeable mass of ponies want the prince dead.

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Chapter the First: Flash! Ah Ah!

Doing His Duty

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fan fiction

by Wolfram and Hart

CHAPTER ONE: Flash! Ah Ah!

Canterlot.


Few of the Crystal Empire’s citizens had ever laid eyes upon the city. Given how Equestria’s current capital was nothing but an empty space on a bare mountain the last time the crystal ponies walked the earth, that only made sense. Much had changed since the days of Sombra's rule. Over the course of the last millennium, the world had seen wondrous advances, and fantastical changes. Science, culture and the arcane arts had all been among the beneficiaries of this march forward, and Canterlot was Equestria’s center of all three.


Flash Sentry, a humble guard in the service of Her Majesty Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, had been ecstatic when he learned that he would soon pay Canterlot a somewhat permanent visit. It was a welcome break from his breathtakingly old duty station at the Crystal Palace, as he had not been anywhere else for literally a century.


Quite frankly, Flash was absolutely sick of crystals. Back up in the north it was crystal this, crystal that, crystal ponies, crystal houses, crystal trains, crystal everything. Nothing could ever not be made of the stuff. "I need a new couch for my living room!" he would say to one of the only furniture vendors in his part of the city. "Okay," the pony would reply "what kind do you want, blue crystal or pink crystal?" His eye would then twitch uncontrollably, which was not a sign of mental stability.


Canterlot was a breath of fresh air to a pony who was drowning in crystals. The buildings there were alien to him, made from stone, clay, metal, and wood, in stark contrast to the translucent walls of crystal buildings. The colors in the city were new and vibrant with their whitewashed walls, flashy gold trim, and dusty grey cobblestone streets. The ponies there were quite different as well; their coats and manes were opaque and not ridiculously shiny, their colors were flat and much easier on the eyes. No longer did Flash have to wear sunglasses around outside and risk being blinded from the reflection of the sun off of the locals' coats. On a particularly bright and cloudless day, crystal ponies could reflect light like walking disco balls.


On paper, Canterlot was just a new duty station to the guard; another set of doors for him to stand like a statue at from nine to five. But to him, it was an endless vacation. When Equestria and The Crystal Empire became buddy-buddy to the point where they merged their royal guard corps, he was first in line to apply for a transfer. He guarded the same city cut off from the rest of the world for hundreds of years, and the chance to go beyond the borders of the Crystal City after all that time was almost inconceivable. Almost.


And so there he was; a relatively young pegasus one thousand years out of time, standing at a train station in an unfamiliar place, wondering what new life and new experiences lay ahead of him in this city of golden spires.


What did Flash Sentry do first? The same thing any self-respecting stallion would do in his situation! He took a selfie.


"Oh for the love of- Stop fidgeting and look at the camera!" Rose Quartz, his best friend and fellow guard griped as she fiddled with the tripod upon which the camera was mounted.


"I can't!" Flash said, his eyes unable to stay on the same object for more than a second. "Everything here's just so- uh, so- I can't even think of a word for it! Is "awesomemazing" a word? Kuz that's what I wanna use."


Rose rolled her pale violet eyes. "No, now shut up and say cheese."


Giving in for the moment, Flash looked at the camera and gave it the biggest and dopiest grin that he could manage. "Cheeeeeese!"


There was a click and a blinding flash (the light kind of flash, not the orange kind) and the camera spit out a glossy rectangle of paper in an instant.


Rubbing and blinking away the colorful floaty spots in his eyes, he said "How do I look?"


Rose hoofed him the photo "Same as you always do, only on paper."


Flash carefully inspected the image of himself and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, letting out a ponderous hum. "Hmmmm... I hope that the thing about the camera adding ten pounds isn't actually true. If it is, I’ll need to gallop a few extra laps around the barracks tomorrow morning."


"I like that photo. It's kind of cool," Rose said. "It's the only way I can ever see you quiet and still outside a castle."


Flash tucked the photo of himself in the side pocket of his saddlebags. "Pfft. I have to stay quiet and still all day six days a week. If I did that any more than I had to, I might explode. I mean, really explode. Do in you want to be the one who cleans Flash goo off of the walls? I'd think not."


'Flash goo'...Yet another one of Flash's odd statements. He was having quite a few more of them lately. Quartz had gotten used to these after a thousand years of being his friend, and they always tend to either amuse or confuse her, sometimes both in equal measure. "Wonder who's job that would be, a janitor's or a mortician's?"


"Uh-dunna." He shrugged noncommittally. "Hey, we should probably get moving. We've got to be at the barracks at eleven hundred hours and I don't even know where the hoof we are."


"What time is it now?"


"Uh," He checked his hoofwatch "ten fifteen."


"Then we had better not oogle the city any longer! See if that desk lady over there knows the best way to the castle."


"Right-o."

* * *

A brisk trot through the semi-crowded streets of Canterlot later, the two passed through a drawbridge that led to an ornate golden horseshoe gateway that went on into the castle itself. Flash was surprised to see that the interior of the castle was not unlike the Crystal Palace in the way of décor. The halls consisted of fuzzy red carpets, long banners hanging off of the walls, high ceilings, grand staircases, and unnecessary stained-glass windows. The only real difference between the two was that the crystal walls and floors were swapped out with marble walls and floors. It was a bit of a letdown, really. Oh well, not everything could be as he anticipated. He quickly concluded that posh was posh no matter where a castle was built, and it would be perfectly fine place to serve his realm... as long as they kept the crystalline decorations to a minimum.


After several wrong turns and Rose Quartz admitting that she had no idea where she was going, they stopped to ask a castle servant where the guard's barracks were. It took them only a few minutes to find what they were looking for after that. It turned out that the main room was located not twenty paces from the entrance to the castle. A freshly painted white sign hung above the plain door. "Capt. Whitewater, Equestrian Royal Guard" it read.


"Ah-ha! I told you we already passed it." Flash said with a triumphant laugh.


"I told you we already nuh nuh nuh blah blah." Rose made an unflattering puppet of Flash flapping his gums with her hoof. "I got us here, didn't I?"


"No, you got lost and that nice kitchen colt showed us the way here. You just trotted faster than I did to give the illusion that you were leading and I was following." He shot his friend a sly grin. "It didn't work"


"Oh be quiet, professor psychology. Come on, we're already late. Let's report in before they dangle us off the side of the mountain."


Flash hummed in agreement as he pushed on the door, his bright eyes and smiling face instantly hardening into the telltale stony grimace of a practiced guard. He had always had this habit of being able to flip a switch in his head and turn from the normally jovial Flash Sentry to Lieutenant Sentry, a stoic and dedicated royal guardspony. To Rose, it was remarkable the way he could just become a completely different pony on a whim. It was as if he had multiple personality disorder and could call on it like a unicorn calls on magic. He certainly could pass for a whacko at times.


Rose tried to emulate her friend and put on a neutral face as she trotted in behind him.


Sitting in that mildly cramped and cluttered office was the officer that manned it. Whitewater, as the sign outside suggested, was his name. He was a stallion that's seen a few too many years in the service, his mane a shade of silver reserved for the elderly and his coat a faded cornflower blue. His colors clashed terribly with the cherry red officer's uniform that he was required to wear on duty.


The two quickly trotted in and gave the captain a rigid salute in unison.


"Second Lieutenants Rose Quartz and Flash Sentry reporting for assignment!" Both of them barked, also in unison.


"Ah, Lieutenants." He said, his gruff voice filling the claustrophobic room. He didn't even look up from the mess of scrolls and documents sprawled out haphazardly on his desk. "You're late."


Flash was the first to speak. "Apologies, sir. We had diffic--"


The captain held his hoof up, silencing the lieutenant instantly. "Don't bother." A pair of tired blue eyes looked up at Rose and Flash from behind a pair of thick reading glasses. "It's the same for the new recruits that come from anywhere but Canterlot. They see this big city in the side of a mountain, then they get lost. It happens at least once every year. Though, it mostly happens to country folk. I had you two Crystal Empire ponies pegged for city slickers, guess I was wrong."


"Oh, right. At ease, lieutenants." He said. "Take a seat."


They did as he said and wordlessly pulled up a pair of chairs that had been set off the the side. Despite not having to be at attention any longer, they still sat up a little straighter and more rigid than they would on normal days.


He took off his glasses and casually tossed them on the desk. "Now, I ain't got time beat around the bush, I need to find you two an assignment and put'cha to work so you can get out of my mane sooner. Let's see here..." Whitewater pushed aside a dozen scrolls and about fifty pieces of loose paper as he searched for two special manilla folders in particular.


"I know I put it here- Got'cha!" He had found where he stashed the documents under an empty coffee cup and a used hayburger wrapper. He cracked open the first, which was the size of a decent paperback novel and as heavy as a brick. "First off, we have Rose Quartz."


Whitewater went silent as he idly flipped through the pages of Rose's duty records. "Huh. You were one of the Crystal Palace's general guards while the Empire was still locked up in time. Not bad, your record was pretty decent until, uh..." He flipped the folder around and pointed out a yellow-highlighted paragraph. "A month ago you punched a Saddle Arabian dignitary and broke his muzzle for insinuating you were a homosexual. Wow, just wow. I don't think I've ever seen something like that on somepony's file before."


"Sir, I'm sure you're aware of how they treat their mares over there." Rose said. Her tone of voice was flat and respectful, but Flash knew her long enough to tell when she was miffed. "Saddle Arabian mares aren't even allowed join their guard. It's all stallions, like they think we can't do the job. He was out of line talking to me like that."


The captain shrugged. "Hey I don't blame you, sister. I've been over there a few years back on one of Celestia's diplomatic missions, that place was a mess. But what can you do? They have ridiculously big spice fields and silk farms, we don't. Equestria has to play nice with them."


He went back to the file. "Okay, after that we have market guard, treasury guard, bodyguard, on and on and on...I see you did a bit of squiring for Shining Armor, that must've been fun as a rock farm. How is that crazy guy by the way?"


"As thick as a log, sir."


"Ha!" Whitewater guffawed a bit. "I see you've got some guts on ya, I like that in a recruit. Yeah, that stallion never did understand much other than swinging swords and wooing mares." He chuckled to himself. "Now look at him, Prince of the Crystal Empire with a smoking-hot rich princess as a wife. I wish I had looks like his, maybe I'd be prince of somewhere."


"Back to the point," he went on, shaking his head "With your record I can probably get you a decent job somewhere in the castle. The castle's where you wanna be. I take it you're not a fan of condescending nobleponies? There'll be tons of them to deal with outside."


"I don't mind them, sir."


The captain smirked at Rose. "Heh. You've never met Canterlot nobles. The only ponies that like them are other nobles. Hmm, yeah, that might work. Okay, I've got the perfect spot working in the dungeon." He grabbed a spare piece of notebook paper and took an ink quill in his teeth.


He scribbled down a name and some basic directions then tore out the paper and hoofed it to Rose. "Here, I know it ain't the most glamorous of jobs hanging around thieves and drunks all day, but it's the best we've got. Report to Sergeant Hoofcuffs. He might seem a little kooky, but he's one of the best jailers in Equestria."


Rose Quartz took his paper, scanned over it, and tucked it in her saddlebags. She rose up from the chair and gave her superior a crisp salute. "Thank you, sir."


"Yeah yeah, try not to start any prison riots. Dismissed."


Rose did a face-heel turn and trotted out the door, off to the other side of Canterlot Castle. She didn't say her usual farewell to Flash, but that's just how it was in the guard. Brief hellos and few goodbyes. Oh well, he would probably see her around the city next Sunday.


"As for you, Lieutenant Sentry..." He cracked open a file reading SENTRY, FLASH G. on the front in faded lettering. His was notably thicker than Quartz's due to the fact that he had been an Equestrian guard since before the beginning of King Sombra's brief rule. He was one of the dozens of ground troops that were dispatched to take back the city all those years ago, and as a result he and his comrades were trapped alongside thousands of crystal ponies when the Slave King imprisoned the empire in the very fabric of space and time.


"Hoo boy, where in the dark bowels of Tartarus do I begin?" He licked his hoof and began flipping through numerous pages. "Boring, boring, boring, boring, fought in the battle for the Crystal Empire, became crystal guard for a thousand years, boring, boring, boring... Why in Equestria did they write all this down? Ah, here it is. 'Personal guard for Princesses Mi Amore Cadenza.' Personal." He looked up at Flash with a half amazed, half serious look. "Not many guards get personal with princess pink. In the two years she's sat on that throne, she's hoof-picked less than a dozen ponies to be her closest defenders, and you're the only one she hasn't fired yet."


"This thing-" He picked up the file and tried to shake it like a ragdoll to emphasize the point, but it was a little too heavy, so it just flopped out of his hoof and on to the desk. "It's cleaner than Celestia's own pearly white flanks. Spotless, is the word your Shining Armor used. It makes me, of all ponies, look like a rutting juvenile delinquent!"


"I do my duty, sir, and I do it to the fullest of my ability." Flash's stoic face didn't move a single muscle, but inside he was grinning from ear to ear. Flash was immensely proud of his blemish-free record. In a thousand years, he didn't make a mistake. Given the lack of any real crime in a city literally cut off from the rest of the universe, it was hard to really screw anything up more than it already was. But still, even after the Empire was restored to the world, he kept his guard up, so to speak. It was hard giving absolutely all of his focus to a job where the main requirement is to stay still and silent for hours at a time. Some days it may not have been worth it, but it would have all payed off when he was to retire.


"The question is," the captain said "where do we put you?"


Whitewater cast a few more glances at the document. In a moment of brilliant inspiration, the guard captain realized something important. No other pony would be better suited for the job that he had instantly come up with in his devious old mind, and few ponies have ever even qualified for it. Fewer still actually kept the thing for any significant amount of time. It was an opportunity to fill a role that desperately needed filling. He was the one.


"Lieutenant Sentry," He said quietly. "I think I may...I may have the perfect job for you."


Flash said nothing in return, he gave his captain a subtle nod telling him to go on.


Whitewater ran a hoof through his hair. He was a little nervous, which wasn't common for the seasoned veteran of the guard, but he was too damn excited to be anything but nervous. He had found the one.


"What is it, sir?"


"I-" He trailed off. It took a moment for Whitewater to gather his thoughts. "I'll tell you this upfront, my friend: this is the absolute worst job in the Royal Guard. There are only four ponies in Equestria so far that have had the physical and mental abilities to perform it effectively and, uh... Well, I think you can be number five."


"I assure you, sir, I am capable of performing any task that you would put me to."


"Colt scout." Whitewater murmured under his breath. "I'm sure you are, son. Don't say you haven't been warned though. This is one hell of an exclusive job and, heh... you're one hell of an exclusive pony, Lieutenant."


"I think we need a drink to celebrate." the captain declared merrily.


What's gotten him so exited? Flash asked himself. It's like he wants me to be the next alicorn princess or something. That would be cool, though.


In a blink Whitewater had fished a poshly decorated bottle half-filled with a dark amber liquid and set it on the desk with two shot-sized glasses. Before Flash could even protest, both glasses were filled with an expensive brand of scotch that Whitewater saved for special occasions such as this.


He looked at Flash expectantly. "Go ahead, you're not on duty yet. It won't bite. Well, not until you drink it anyway."


Tentatively, he eyed the glass of scotch. Flash wasn't a drinker, but neither was he rude. He took the glass in hoof and sipped it slowly. The captain wasn't lying, it did have some kick. So much, in fact, that it made the guard cough as the juice screamed its way down his poor defenseless throat.


"Heh heh, clears your sinuses, don't it?" He emphasized his point by downing the entire thing in one go. "Aaah, it should too, for the price."


He took another sip. "Sir, I don't believe you've told me what this job even is yet. I'd like to know what we're drinking to."


"Alright, you've got me." He theatrically raised both of his hooves as if he were surrendering. "I can't beat around the bush any longer. Son, I'm assigning you to the personal guard of our very own Prince Blueblood."


"Thank you sir, I-" Flash's composure faltered for the briefest of seconds. "Huh?"


It was odd. So very odd. The hardest assignment in Canterlot was guarding a stuck up royal? Sure, jobs like that were pretty prestigious and the pay was phenomenal. He was lucky to have it, but how could it be so difficult shadowing a pampered prince all day? Flash had heard stories of how Blueblood was a monumental clophead, but that was something one fully expected from being assigned to a member of the royal family. With the exception of Celestia and Luna, royals were obnoxious by nature.


Though, why was the prince so important that only four ponies had been accepted to guard him? He certainly wasn't next in line to rule, should the sisters be unable to do so. Celestia help him if that happens.


"Sir, may I ask you a question?" He asked.


"Go ahead."


"What makes this job so special?"


Whitewater didn't answer at first, he instead idly hummed whilst pouring himself another drink. With a smirk he pushed Flash's mostly full glass toward him. "You may want to finish this, son. You're really going to need it."

Author's Note: