Meet and Greet
“Ahhhh…”
A black, chitin-covered foreleg uncurled to flop down upon a midnight-blue bed. Its owner sighed and blew a strand of hair out of her face, lime-green eyes opening to gaze up at the marble ceiling.
Chrysalis licked her fangs and wiggled back further into the comfortable bed, a wide smile on her face while she took some time to unwind.
‘Probably the best sleep I’ve had for months,’ she thought to herself. Letting out a yawn, she rolled over onto her right side and fluttered her eyes at the empty space next to her. ‘Oh,’ Chrysalis realised, an eye lifting as she made to get up. Just as she was about to call out Nigel’s name, she stopped herself and glanced towards the closed bathroom door.
After another smile to herself, she took her time leaving the bed. Chrysalis ensured to minimise the noise of her trots on the marble floor while she snuck towards the oaken door, tongue dancing over her front fangs. Testing the door gently, she found that it was indeed unlocked.
A wicked grin crossed her face, and with one solid slam she burst through the door paying no mind to the thump it made against the wall.
“Good Morning!”
Instead of what she expected, Chrysalis blinked her eyes and glanced around the bathroom. It was completely empty save for the bath, sink, and towels. There was no sign of her suddenly-in-the-good-books-again consort, and it was with a suspicious hum that she noticed the curious absence of his black armour from its previous night’s resting spot in the corner of the room.
“What is he up to this time?” Chrysalis muttered to herself. Experience had taught her to be wary of Chalmers when he was plotting something, the past having shown that he wasn’t really quite right in the head. Still, she also knew that there really wasn’t much she could do to stop him from doing whatever it was at this point, so instead she laid eyes upon the large square bath and shrugged.
‘Might as well use it if its here.’
A trip to the hot springs would have been her first choice, Chrysalis reminiscing about the warm waters back home while she turned the taps to fill the tub, but as much as she hated to admit it she couldn’t deny that equestrian baths came a close second. The time that she had spent impersonating Cadence had included all of the trappings of royal pony life, and as such she had spent much of it enjoying the lavish bathrooms of the palace.
‘They will be mine again shortly in the future,’ she thought with a wide smile. ‘I am on the cusp of victory, I can feel it.’
By this time the bath had quickly filled with warm water, so she turned off the taps and slid in to relax and wait. Neglecting to use any of the provided cleaning products, Chrysalis instead settled back to enjoy the relaxing water. A hind hoof tapped against the side, her smile fading as her mind turned to more unpleasant matters.
‘Gah, I have to meet with the bat-ponies today,’ she realised with a huff. ‘No doubt they will try to sell us out to their Equestrian masters, or swindle us for their own gains instead.’ Another grimace. ‘I really shouldn’t let Nigel take the lead, he’s already shown an accursed weakness for those inferior bat-ponies. He’ll probably end up trading away the hive in return for patting one on the head!’
Chrysalis rubbed her temple with a forehoof, while she took a deep breath and calmed herself down.
“Relax,” she muttered to herself. “Things are going okay again, there’s no need to worry about such things.” Despite her improved mood and opinion of the human in question, she still struggled with the next thing she admitted. “He is at least competent enough to foil the plans of a few night-loving ponies… even if he mostly foils plans by accident.”
With that, she once again fell silent and returned to relaxing… or attempting to. It still niggled at the back of her mind, and it was with no small amount of relief that she heard the bedroom door open. It was followed by the sound of two easily recognisable footsteps, and Chrysalis found herself nearly leaping from the bath in her haste. She gave herself a quick shake, water flying off her chitin to land all over the room, before she quickly trotted up and opened the door.
Smiling out, she was met by Chalmers. The human was fully armoured save for the helmet that was resting under his arm, a bag of large orange fruit held in the other. One of the fruits was grasped in an armoured hand, a large chunk of it already torn off. Chrysalis’ eye twitched just a tad at the juice splatter on the armoured chests’ front.
“Good Morning Chrissy, or rather Good Evening,” Nigel greeted while he chewed. Without waiting for a reply, he glanced down at the fruit he was eating. “Chrissy, you have to try these things. They’re called ‘man-gos’ and I can safely say that I have found the fruit of the gods.” He took another sloppy bite, rubbery mango skin and all. “A little tough to chew on the outside to be honest, but swear on my life the insides are to die for. I wonder if these things exist somewhere back home.”
There was another drip of juice, Chrysalis taking a small step back. “Ah… I do not require solid sustenance,” she replied, however she followed up when he seemed to try and persuade her. “Thank you for the offer, but I just had a bath and would hate to get all messy before such an… important meeting.”
“Suit yourself,” he shrugged, before placing the bag on the bed and devouring the remainder of the mango. There were several loud chewing noises, along with more than a few cracking sounds, before Nigel wiped his mouth with the back of his armoured hand. “Delicious.”
Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis deemed that it was safe to approach thanks to the absence of mango. Deciding against embracing him due to the remainder of the fruit on his armour, she instead gave the mess a pointed glance. “You’ve gotten all that sticky juice on your armour, I suggest that you clean it up.”
“You know,” Nigel walked past her and entered the bathroom. “I could make a very inappropriate comment about yesterday and a certain queen’s fondness for sticky-“
“Shut up and clean yourself off,” she interrupted, Chrysalis raising a hoof to her face and finding a surprising blush. It was unusual as, as one would expect, she wasn’t exactly new to matters of a carnal nature (and in fact was unknowingly responsible for influencing a few techniques in pony culture over the centuries). “Damn human,” she muttered, getting herself under control while the sound of running water shut off.
Nigel reappeared from the bathroom, juice-free, with a warm smile that nearly made her normally cold heart melt. It actually seemed like one of the few genuinely happy expressions she’d seen from him in ages, and it dragged her mind back to those happier times so long ago. Returning it with her own genuine grin, she trotted forwards and wrapped a foreleg around him in an embrace.
“Last night… day was very good, though. It might actually make up for the meeting that we have to go to.”
“Relax,” he chuckled with a pat of his hand on her head. “I’m a trained ISA agent and you’re Queen of the Changelings, I’m sure we can handle some simple negotiations.”
She wasn’t so sure, but kept that opinion quite so as to not spoil the attention being paid to her. Instead she focused on a different, and possibly more pressing, topic.
“So, why did you leave so early?” Her eyes glanced towards the mesh bag of mangos sitting on the bed. “I highly doubt it was just to go fruit shopping.”
“Oh, you know,” Nigel shrugged. “Preparations and stuff.”
“All I know is that ‘Preparations and stuff’ is not an explanation that reassures me. In fact, all that makes me think about is fire and explosions.”
“Chrissy, trust me. Have I ever done wrong?”
Evidently her unwavering stare coerced him into elaborating.
“What I mean is, all I did was take a brisk, late daytime stroll and inspected the place that we’re to have our meeting in. You know, for traps and such.” He smiled and rubbed her head again. “Not that I think our hosts will betray us, I’m just being careful and all.”
She knew what he was trying to do, and pulled her head away from the comforting fingers to stare at him.
“Investigating, is that all?”
There was a brief pause. “…Yes.”
‘It’s obvious that he’s lying,’ she mentally huffed, but couldn’t resist smiling anyway. Silently she wondered just why she was unable to get mad at him currently. Deciding that it was just an after effect of the previous day’s makeup and ‘shake-up’, Chrysalis let it drop and decided to just deal with whatever fool plan he’d concocted up at a later time.
“Fine, but I swear if you set something on fire…”
“No fire, promise.”
Fixing him with a final no-nonsense stare, she gave in and gestured to the doorway. “It will have to do. Shall we attempt to organise the Firstborn?”
“We should find the little ones, yes.”
Rolling her eyes once again, she turned around and made for the door. “You’re far too soft on them, you know.”
“Meh, I don’t mind playing ‘good cop’ occasionally.” Shaking her head at the alien saying, Chrysalis opened the door and prepared to step out into another day of uncertainty and chaos. “But while we’re on the topic, I have a few requests to make.”
‘I have a bad feeling,’ she decided, trotting out into the blue-carpeted corridor with Chalmers trailing behind.
“Wow, so you’re actually related to that big guy in the armour?”
“Well, not exactly. He’s like, our adoptive father, kind of. Him and the Queen were an item way back before Equestria was even, like, existing.”
Reflection stifled a groan while Keith continued to ramble on. Her forehoof was wrapped firmly around an empty coffee mug, the solitary bat-pony waitress having forgotten about the tray of fresh coffee and condiments that was resting on her back. Coffee was no stranger to Reflection, and after a sleepless day there was nothing she was craving more.
Well, aside from her brother to cease attempting to chat up the surprisingly comfortable waitress.
“Oh,” the bat-pony mare whistled, blowing a lock of deep turquoise mane from her golden eye. “That’s ages ago! Are they immortal like Princess Luna?”
“I guess,” Keith shrugged nonchalantly while adjusting his spot on the cushioned stool. “I mean he was locked in stone or whatever, but the Queen certainly is that old.” He chuckled, leaning in with a grin. “Don’t tell her that though, she’ll kill me.”
Another shudder wracked Reflection when the mare giggled along with Keith, her mood rapidly souring at the pair’s annoying interaction.
“I love your accent,” the bat-pony continued on. “How come you don’t sound like the other changelings?”
Keith made a point of looking around at the other nine sitting at the large table in the dining room, a smug grin on his face. “Well, my parents were infiltrators in a pony city before they returned to the Hive to have me. They spoke like I do, so now I talk like this as well.” He ignored the glares from the others, including Reflection. “Totally radical, am I right?”
That prompted another giggle from the waitress, Reflection grinding her teeth and tightening her grip around the mug. ‘I swear, if this goes on for much longer…’
“So why are you here with a Queen?” the bat-pony unfortunately inquired. “You said that the ‘human’ is your sort-of adoptive father who’s with your Queen, but then you said that you had other parents…”
“Babe, my bloodline’s a special one,” Keith explained while leaning back. Meanwhile, the mare’s light blush deepened. “The first born of the line is always adopted by the Queen, and that makes me her kind-of son.”
“Her son…” the bat-pony’s eyes widened. “Wait, are you telling me that you’re a Prince? As in, an actual Prince!?”
Evidently Keith had found a way in, and he flashed a wide grin. “Tartarus-yeah, babe. My line actually goes all the way back to the very first Prince of the changelings.”
“One of the first,” Chatter muttered through a glass of apple juice, but it was unheard by the very interested bat-pony.
“Wow…!” she breathed, her light-purple wings giving a flutter. “That’s really cool!”
“I know it,” Keith nodded, before leaning forwards and grinning. “Say, since I am a Prince and all, would you mind showing me around your city sometime later? I have to go to an important meeting with your leader-dudes soon, but…”
“I finish work in a few hours,” the mare answered with a light smile, while nervously switching her hoofing. “I’d love to-“
“Good Evening all! How are we all doing?”
Reflection’s relief at having Keith and the waitress spin around and shut up was equally dashed by the appearance of her often-loud father figure. Evidently he was feeling just swell, a fact that wasn’t lost on her as she gritted her teeth and forced herself to smile.
‘Isn’t he the bastard that kept me up last night?’ However, upon thinking the thought, a far more devastating concern entered her mind. ‘Oh, no. If he stayed up all night, then how will… Chrysalis be this morning?’
Right on cue, the Queen herself trotted into the fancy dining room. Even Keith fell silent at the entrance of the imposing matriarch, his newly-acquired friend going one step further and bowing her head.
Lime-green eyes swept over them all, examining the huge mahogany table and the assorted drinks resting upon it. No-one dared to speak first and possibly set her off, news having quickly spread regarding the explosive episode that the previous day had wrought. It was a miracle that the two had even made up after it, a miracle that none wanted to jeopardise.
Then, Chrysalis trotted towards them. A few changelings sunk in their seats, while others averted their gaze. Reflection became very focused on her empty mug, a shiver going down her back as the trotting grew closer.
“So, how are you going this morning? You look very tired.”
Wincing before preparing to turn around and answer, Reflection was surprised to find that the question wasn’t directed to her… but to the changeling sitting next to her.
“I… I didn’t sleep very well,” Holey struggled to get out. The smallest of them shrunk in her seat even more, Chrysalis giving her an odd look.
“Oh,” the Queen murmured. “I hope you are up to attending the meeting that we have travelled here for?”
Despite the lack of the usual yelling and cursing, every one of the nobles braced themselves. Often, a calm and collected Chrysalis meant that she even angrier than normal.
“I… I…,” Holey stammered, shifting on her spot. Then, the true danger of her situation hit her, and she slumped in her chair with her gaze lowering to the floor. “I’m sorry… my Queen. I will attend the meeting and I am terribly sorry for not being fully awake.” Holey clamped her eyes shut. “Please, I didn’t mean to be a burden.”
Reflection glanced up only to stare right back at her mug when she spotted Chrysalis leaning in towards the quaking Holey.
‘Oh no,’ she shuddered. ‘Holey’s in for it now…’ Reflection herself quivered, upon further realisation. ‘That means that I’m going to be next…’
Then, a strange sound caused Reflection to look back up.
“A burden, don’t be so foolish.” Despite the words, the Queen’s tone was unexpectedly warm. Reflection nearly had to do a double take when she not only heard the Queen acting nice, but actually saw with her own eyes the monarch nuzzling the equally shocked Holey. “Just please try and pay attention during the meeting, hmm? Or at least don’t visibly start to slumber during it.”
“I’ll- I’ll try,” Holey answered, relaxing when Chrysalis pulled away. A hoof went up to touch the right side of her own face, almost as if Holey didn’t believe what had just happened.
Reflection had no time to ponder the weird occurrence, Chrysalis turning her attention towards her.
“The same goes for you.”
She nearly jolted when the Queen gave her a nuzzle, the first that Reflection could even remember. It was strange, but the one thing she focused on was just how warm and genuine it felt. It was no action designed to deceive or manipulate, but it actually felt like Chrysalis… cared about her.
It was over far too quickly, the Queen pulling back.
“T-thank you,” Reflection said, Chrysalis giving her a final smile before moving onto the next noble.
‘By the Queen…’ Reflection thought, staring at the smiling human who was still standing in the doorway. ‘Just what did that bastard do to get her this happy?’
Somehow she doubted that it was just a standard mood-lifting rut that had affected the Queen so. There was a change in Chrysalis, clearly evident in the way that she ensured to lovingly nuzzle every single noble, even the shocked Cupid. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant, just that it was incredibly unexpected.
‘Maybe the rumours are true. Perhaps Chrysalis does actually have the capacity to be nice?’
It was certainly a hopeful thought, but the true test of the Queen’s new change of heart was just about to come up.
The last changeling that Chrysalis had chosen to grace with the unheard of sign of affection was Keith, and the bat-pony waitress did not escape her attention. The mare was still standing where she had been when Chrysalis had walked in, the pony rooted to the spot with her hooves refusing to move.
“Oh,” Chrysalis said with her smile dropping somewhat. “Hello there… pony.”
It wasn’t on par with the rather venomous way she’d interacted with the lunar guards, but it was still a far-cry from the pleasant surprise the nobles had been greeted with. However, far from fleeing in fright or even flinching back, the waitress instead hesitantly gave a small bow.
“Good Evening, Your Highness.” The mare nervously glanced up towards the still-shell-shocked Keith, before quickly lowering her head back down. “I was just… um, pouring coffee. If you’d just like to take a seat, I will be with you immediately.”
The reply had a visible effect on the Queen, Chrysalis cocking her head before making a quick glance back towards Chalmers. Reflection caught the look the pair shared just in time, Nigel mouthing ‘be nice’ towards the Queen.
“I… thank you for the offer,” Chrysalis answered, and even managed to force through a small smile. “But I do not have the time, I’m afraid. We have an important meeting, after all.”
“Oh, well perhaps tomorrow then?” the waitress looked up hopefully, though still nervous. “I’ve never had the honour of serving royalty before today.”
Reflection saw Chrysalis glance at Keith with a less-than-approving gaze.
“I, uh, might as well ask now,” Keith muttered out without his usual attitude. “I kind of, well, have to do stuff after the meeting. If that’s okay though, uh, Ma’am.”
“Stuff to do,” they all heard Chrysalis mutter under her breath. The smile faded to be replaced with a frown, and it was obvious that she was about to voice her stern rejection.
“Sure,” Nigel suddenly butted in, walking up to rest his hand on Chrysalis’ back. “Providing the meeting goes as planned and all, I don’t see a problem with that. Besides, myself and Chrysalis have some… plans of our own afterwards.”
Reflection frowned, before she realised what he was alluding to. Looking towards him, she noticed Chrysalis’ face light up with a smile again and the pieces fell into face.
‘Bleugh,’ she thought, before a more depressing matter rose its head. ‘Great, guess sleep is something that I’ll be lucky to get.’
“Anyway,” Chalmers continued while Chrysalis continued to smile warmly. “We’ll be in the hotel lobby keeping an eye out for any government toadies sent to escort us, if none are here in five minutes then we’re just going to make our own way over. So, you all have that long to finish your drinks. We can’t make ourselves look bad by being tardy to this meeting, understood?”
“Yes,” Reflection mumbled out alongside the other nine voicing their own affirmatives. She scrunched up her face at the thought of having to sit through the upcoming meeting, but at least there was still time to have one more cup of coffee.
Turning towards the bat-pony waitress while Chrysalis and Chalmers exited the room, Reflection frowned when she spotted the mare leaving for the kitchen doors.
With the all-important coffee jug still on her back.
“Relax, she’s just going to get us a fresh one.”
Reflection’s frown stayed right where it was, except that it was quickly focused on Keith. “I’d already have a fresh cup by now if you weren’t so preoccupied with sampling the local ponies.”
“Hey,” Keith raised his forehooves. “I’m only doing what changelings do. Anyways, it’s not like I’m the only one getting a piece. Like, did you just see the Queen?”
“Yeah,” Swissy spoke up from her spot at the table. “Just how well did our plan work last night?”
“Very well,” Holey and Reflection both groaned in unison, earning uncomfortable looks from the others.
“As long as she stays all nice and that, it will be a-o-kay.” Nodding his head at his own words, Keith smiled to himself. “I mean, that Chalmers dude must be doing some good work. He even managed to stop her from cock-blocking me with that cute waitress. Guy’s a bro.”
Shaking her head at her brother’s predicable one-track mind, Reflection glanced up towards the opening kitchen doors before lowering her voice. “Speaking of waitress…”
They all stopped talking and turned to face the approaching mare, many eyes focusing on the steaming pot of coffee that she carried on her back. The bat-pony paused at the attention, surprised when ten empty coffee cups were extended out towards her.
“It’s going to be a long morning,” Reflection explained, and before long the sweet smell of the much-needed beverage was followed by the sound of pouring.
‘Come on Beams, pull it together.’
The borrowed city-guard armour felt far heavier than it actually was, Beams shifting her weight under the dull metal. The short sword at her side was likewise weighty, and she couldn’t help but touch the grip with a wing-tip from time-to-time.
The large council chambers were filled with guards, she had counted forty-three, all armed and armoured to the teeth. It was an understandable number given the guests that were due to arrive, but even the twenty assembled council members were still fidgeted nervously on their blue cushions. Even the famously-stoic Councillor Artibeus was sitting down with a frown, the elderly stallion locked deep in thought.
‘There’s more than enough guards to handle any trouble that the changelings and human give us, surely.’ She glanced up and around the room, the rest of her squad easy to spot as they were the only ponies constantly trying to adjust their unfamiliar armour. ‘And there’s an entire city worth outside ready to rush in at a moment’s notice.’
Beams took a deep breath and exhaled out, a bad feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. The worst part was that she wasn’t even in charge, the Council having decided that the City Guard would be in command. Considering that hardly any of the guards she’d talked to even knew what a changeling was, it was seemingly adding up into a big disaster.
She looked up when the main doors to the hall opened, and a squad of ten guards escorted in the future prisoners.
The Human walked in with the Queen at the head, the remaining ten changelings trotting in behind them. All of the shapeshifters looked back behind them as the guards shut and locked the heavy wooden doors with concerned glances, but Beams was focused on the main danger of the group.
The biped hadn’t even flinched, his expression hidden behind the imposing helmet he wore. The glowing blue eyes swept over the guards and council members, the previous scattered chatter giving way to hushed murmurs.
“By Luna, he’s huge!” Beams heard a mare whisper out from behind her.
“Is that some kind of metal?”
“So that’s a changeling? They look even more unsettling than I thought they would. Can they really change forms to impersonate ponies?”
Beams looked towards the Queen at the words from the out-of-sight councillor, Chrysalis not appearing too pleased with the way things had been going. First the changeling leader glanced towards the door, then towards the freshly-barred windows, before the eyes settled right onto her.
Beams gulped at the gaze that turned into a glare, the changeling’s dispatching of the dragon not forgotten. Hopefully such a performance wouldn’t be repeated when the trap was sprung.
Then, the meeting truly began.
Metal boots clacked loudly on the black marble floor as the Human stepped forwards. The room died down into silence save for his movements, the harsh and lifeless blue eyes scanning across the councilmembers once more. Everyone held their breath, wondering just what demands the ancient tyrant was about to unleash upon them.
“Hey all,” the Human greeted with a cheerful smile. His helmet’s faceplate seemed to break up and slide into either side of the helm, revealing a warm expression. “Are you all having a good Evening?”
There was a shocked silence, before the Council started to whisper amongst themselves. Beams narrowed her eyes at the biped, while getting her own surprise at his care-free manner under control.
‘What is he up to?’
“I’ll take that as a yes. I must admit, travelling through your fine city has certainly made my evening a remarkable one.” He sauntered closer towards the Council seating area, resting an arm on one of the wooden bench tops. “Such architecture, it really brings the whole ‘underground city’ thing together really well.”
Beams tore her surprised eyes away from the Human and instead focused on the changelings. Going off the equally befuddled expressions of the Queen and her followers, they too were completely unprepared for Chalmers’ open manner.
“Uh… thanks?” one council member who’s name she didn’t know finally replied. The stallion followed up with a question of his own. “Have you seen… much like it before?”
“A few, a few,” Chalmers followed up. “However most of my underground experiences have been with boring things like defence hangers, presidential bunkers, and inter-system ballistic missile launchers.” He gave a dismissive wave of his hand before using it to gesture back to the changelings. “Anyway, as you can see, myself and my amigos here to discuss some important matters.”
“Hmm, yes,” Councillor Artibeus spoke up. “Important matters indeed.”
Beams immediately noticed the Human’s smile widen, the biped’s eyes focusing right on Artibeus while a finger was waggled in the air.
“Ah,” Chalmers nodded. “I see that you’re the one in charge.”
Artibeus didn’t even hesitate. “Every member of this council is equal when it comes to deciding matters that concern the city.”
“Maybe, but it’s obvious that you are the unofficial leader, no?” Not missing a beat, the Human once again moved. He strolled over towards where Artibeus was sitting, the council members around him leaning back to give him a wide berth. “I can tell from the way that they all glance at you for a lead, and how they wait for you to speak before forming their own opinions.” He smirked. “I have to be able to pick up on these things, after all.”
Artibeus’ silence was answer enough, let alone the lack of objection from the other members themselves. Still, the old stallion wasn’t quite done yet.
“Is that so?” He gave Chalmers a long, measured look. “While you certainly appear to be knowledgeable in the way of words, quite disarming in fact, going off your… attire, you are hardly a diplomat.”
The observation was met with a chuckle, the Human raising his hands with a smile.
Meanwhile, the changelings all glanced towards their Queen, whose initial neutral face was quickly morphing into a frown.
“Hah, you got me!” Chalmers brushed off. “No, I’m not a diplomat…” Beams’ heart nearly skipped a beat.
‘Did… did he just glance at me!?’
“I’m just a guy with some special training under his belt. Still, enough back and forth about who we are and what we are, let’s get to business.”
Surprisingly, instead of moving closer, Chalmers ambled back over towards the changeling Queen. Everyone watched in confusion while he rested a hand upon her back, patting it thrice.
“Sorry ‘bout this, Chrissy,” Beams just heard him mutter, before he looked back towards the Council with the Queen staring up at him. “Well, we might as well admit it all, shan’t we? Myself and the Queen here thought we’d bring your, ahem, ‘diplomats’ back safe and sound so we could discuss your place in the future of things.”
With a soft hiss, the helmet’s face-plate slid and reformed back in place. As if noticing a silent signal, all of the changelings grouped up behind the human with jittery glances being sent around the room.
‘They’re probably catching on,’ Beams realised, tightening her hold on her sword. ‘They live off emotion after all, so they can probably sense it.’
“You see, friends,” Chalmers continued. “We were going to offer you a place in the new world order. A place that you would have entered willingly, and where you would have remained as an independent nation while still reaping the benefits. All that was going to be asked was for you to take no action while we tore down the Equestrian Government and replaced it with our own, but sadly is seems as if your loyalties were stronger than we predicted.”
“Nigel!” Chrysalis hissed, but was ignored.
“I can’t believe it,” Artibeus squinted. “This talk of a ‘new world order’, of tearing down Equestria? You’re mad.”
“Oh, amazingly so,” Chalmers shrugged off. “But what I also am is exceedingly competent.”
Despite the situation, Beams saw one of Chrysalis’ eyes twitch.
“You bat-ponies sure missed out, let me tell you. You could have picked the winning side, but instead…”
Artibeus snorted. “Winning side? From what I’ve heard, combined you two have lost to the Princesses twice. That’s two-oh to Equestria, and you expect us to throw away our alliance just because of that?”
“I…” Chalmers had raised a finger, but he quickly brought it down with a mutter under his breath. “Fuck, old bastard’s got me there.”
“Nigel.” All eyes turned to the Queen, Chrysalis glaring up at the human in question. “What are you doing!?”
“It’s simple,” he retorted. Beams jolted when an armoured finger was pointed at her. “Diplomat Beams is not actually a diplomat, she and her squad are working for Equestria. She convinced the bat-pony leaders here to ambush us in the city in an attempt to capture us and hand us over to Celestia and Luna for a supernatural spanking. It’s quite funny though.”
He gestured towards the windows with a laugh.” They could have at least have made our cage a little less cage-like, what with those brand new, ‘just installed-a-few-hours-ago’ window bars. They never intended to talk with us like reasonable beings, just surround us with armed soldiers in a confined place and hope they could lull us into inaction.” Chalmers snorted. “They probably expected us to surrender without a fight and quiver at the ‘might’ of their armed forces.”
Beams frowned and drew her sword, stepping out in front of him. She knew that it wasn’t much of a threat on its own, but figured that such a large number of guards would swing the odds in her favour.
“How?” she demanded, ensuring that he saw the point of her sword. All of the changelings save for the Queen flinched when she made a jabbing motion. “How did you know? You have for a while, haven’t you?”
“Aww, she’s even cuter!” Chalmers dawed, mimicking the sword action with a hand. “Threatening me with her cute little sword! I knew I made the right choice with not just disposing of you earlier.”
“Answer me!” Beams snarled, Chalmers chuckling again.
“Duh, I’m a bloody spy. I kind of have to be good at, you know, spying for my job?” He tapped a finger against his helmet. “Besides, you really shouldn’t whisper important plans and the like when I can hear you from a mile away thanks to this baby. Adding to that, you ponies aren’t exactly subtle creatures, are you?”
Beams maintained a stoic face, but internally she was cursing her own slipup. ‘Of course, Princess Luna warned us that he possessed many strange abilities. I should have realised!’ Grimacing, she mentally kicked herself again. ‘Drat, he’s more cunning than I thought! I was too focused on what a fool he was…’
Luna’s forgotten advice repeatedly played over in her mind, meanwhile Nigel continued on.
“Don’t feel down about it, you were completely unprepared by your superiors,” he reassured. “I mean, really they should have tracked me down themselves when they found out about my return.”
“That may be so,” Artibeus said, standing up from his seat. “But they didn’t and now it falls down to us. I’ve heard many things about you, Nigel M Chalmers, terrible things. This deluded speech has only confirmed it, you are a danger to our society and we cannot allow you to remain free.” The tired golden eyes were turned on the changelings. “Likewise, the changelings are also notorious for acts of wickedness against our closest allies. It’s regrettable that they were even allowed to step hoof in the city.”
“Fool,” Queen Chrysalis spat with a glare. “I will not allow myself to be detained by such simple-minded creatures!”
Artibeus remained tall, matching the Queen’s glare with one of his own.
“You don’t have a choice.”
At the growled words, the guards sprang into action. Spears and swords were pointed and drawn, armour clinked as the sixty guards moved forwards, and the changelings and human were forced into a small circle in the middle of the room.
Despite the obvious power imbalance, it seemed like things weren’t going to just end with a peaceful surrender. While a few of the changelings cowered behind their fellows, a number faced the surrounding guards with lowered horns. Two even began to glow with the tell-tale sign of magic, horns crackling with dangerous energies.
Queen Chrysalis herself was, to put it simply, pissed right off. The monarch was baring her fangs at all who tried to draw near, her impressive height only adding to the intimidation. Her own horn lit up with a sickly green pulse of energy, the noxious glow causing more than one guard to take a step backwards instead of advancing.
However, Beams was far more preoccupied with staring at the still human, her sword trained on him.
So far, Chalmers hadn’t even flinched at the aggressive display of force. In fact, he seemed completely unperturbed with the dangerous turn that the meeting had taken. Frowning, Beams’ ears twitched as a noise from the human grew louder.
‘Is he… laughing!?’
There was no need to strain her ears, Chalmers soon erupting into full-blown laughter. Guard and changeling alike paused to stare at the hunched over human, both parties not quite sure about what was happening. Beams narrowed her eyes after Chalmers straightened back up and wiped an imaginary tear from his glowing eye.
“Surrender,” she demanded, taking over from Artibeus and not giving a crap about who was supposed to be in command. “If you do not, then we’ll have to use force to make you.” To highlight her point, she waved her sword once more. “Then you’ll have to prepare yourself to face the Princesses because of your crimes.”
The laughter died out to a small chuckle, and it wasn’t long before the glowing blue eyes were once again resting on her.
“Oh, adorable bat-pony,” he said with a shake of his head. “I am prepared, just not in the way you intended.”
Beams was left going over his words before it happened. A loud series of beeps suddenly sprang into life, the harsh sounds like an electronic version of a swarm of locusts. Wincing at the sudden noise, she looked all around the room…
And froze at the multitude of objects that were materialising in shimmers of light.
Each one was about the size of her hoof, small black disks that seemed to completely cover the walls and ceiling. Each one possessed a blinking red light that flashed in time to the beeps, bathing all of the occupants of the room with an eerie crimson glow. Guards and council members alike began to panic, many trying to get as far away as they could from the strange yet sinister devices.
“Nigel…” Beams heard Chrysalis ask over the din, the beeps increasing in tempo and pitch. “What are you…”
“Sorry Chrissy!” Nigel shouted over the increased din. “You can smack me for it later!”
He’d barely gotten the last word out of his mouth before it happened.
As one, every beep feel silent for a single second, the blinking lights turning solid at the same time.
And then, the bang.
Beams lost all hearing save for a constant and all-encompassing ringing, and her vison turned a stark white. She tried to shut her eyes but found that the sheer bright light remained. The sword dropped out of her grasp and must have hit the floor, as she could feel the sharp edge nick her in the side as it fell. Attempting to stumble forwards, Beams found her legs disloyal, a misplaced hoofing sending her tumbling down onto the cold marble floor.
She was lucky enough to avoid hitting her head, but all she could do was cover her ears with her forelegs in a vain attempt to block out the disabling sound. A pony tripped over one of her outstretched hind legs, but it was overshadowed by the feeling of something big standing over her.
A short and sharp blow knocked her senseless, and the ringing finally stopped as she was thrust into the arms of unconsciousness.
Chrysalis lost track of the amount of time she’d been on the floor for. Her ringing ears and searing white vison had dominated her thoughts, the Queen finding that clamping her forelegs over her ears brought no relief at all.
Then, she felt a pair or metal-covered hands grasp her under the forelegs, and she was pulled up into what felt like a sitting position. She continued to clamp her eyes shut, shaking her head in an unrewarded attempt to clear her vison and hearing.
More time past before a tiny amount of relief started to pour through. The bright light began to fade into darkness and the ringing started to die down, Chrysalis able to pick up a voice that steadily grew more understandable.
“…ssy. Chrissy, come on. Open your eyes now.”
Chrysalis did as asked, her eyes blinking rapidly to chase the remaining light away. A fuzzy image morphed into a familiar face, and she ignored it for the time being to look around the room.
Evidently, the bat-ponies had severely underestimated the lengths that Nigel would go to.
‘It wasn’t that long, surely?’
Somehow, Nigel had found the time to bind all of the guards and council members, the weird chainless hoofcuffs that she remembered from long ago preventing movement of legs while a strong metal cord held the wings. A few ponies, mostly council members, were groaning where they lay. She noted that most of the guards weren’t moving at all, but going off the lack of viscera and gore it was likely that they had just been knocked out.
The next immediate thing that was noticeable was the walls and ceiling. The devices from before were dormant, not a single sound nor flash of light to be seen. Chrysalis furrowed her brows at that.
‘I could have sworn that they all exploded…’
“Hey, you okay there?”
Looking back at Nigel, his helmet sitting on the floor next to him with him crouched down, her confusion morphed into something dangerous.
“You idiot!” she snarled, raising a hoof and striking him in the face with a furious blow. “What in Tartarus were you thinking! We could have been killed!”
He jolted back when she connected straight with his face, Chrysalis blinking back tears while her hoof lowered down to the ground. She could see a smear of red through the hand that covered his nose, Nigel straitening back up with a grimace.
“Yeah, I guess I deserve that.” It was then that Chrysalis noticed that his nose was crooked, Chalmers grabbing it with his fingers before yanking it back into place. She actually winced at the disgusting cracking sound, Nigel taking a deep breath afterwards. “Motherfu…” he stopped just short, moving his hand away before wiping the blood off on his leg. A red smear was left on his face, and every so often a drop of blood would fall from each nostril. “Chrissy, you weren’t going to die.”
Although her initial anger had been partly abated due to her lashing out and the witnessing of the results, she still managed to reply with a growl.
“You set off explosives, when we were inside with them!”
“They’re non-lethal,” he calmly explained with his hands raised. “The most they do is disorient you for a few minutes, or at worst cause you to injure yourself when falling down. You have to admit that it worked, didn’t it? I’m sorry for what happened, but I couldn’t warn you about them without cluing in the bat-ponies.”
“You could have told me before,” she muttered, before a stirring beside her drew her attention.
“Ah! What happened?”
The largest firstborn, Buzz, was sitting up slowly while shaking his head. Chrysalis moved a forearm around his withers and inspected him for any damage, before looking back at Nigel upon finding non save for a small scratch on his hind leg.
“What now then, genius?” she asked, while the remaining firstborns all began to sit up and mutter out questions of their own while recovering. “Hold these ponies hostage? You saw the amount of guards outside!”
As if on cue, a loud thump shook the heavy wooden doors.
Nigel glanced over towards the council members, most now awake and shouting for help, before he nodded.
“Kind of. I just thought of a great idea…”
He stood up and walked over towards the trussed-up council members, leaving his helmet by her hooves.
Chrysalis watched while he knelt down next to a middle-aged stallion with deep-purple wings, Chalmers fishing around in a suit compartment before he did something completely unexpected.
“What are you… arghh-gurk!”
The panicking pony’s mouth was held open while Nigel forced something in his hand down the stallion’s gullet, the pony immediately going into a coughing fit once the hand was withdraw.
“Wha- ach! What did you just-!”
The question was ignored, the other council members shutting up and trying to escape their constraints when Nigel turned his attention to them. Chrysalis could only watch in befuddlement while the first stallion coughed, Nigel grabbing the next pony and repeating the invasive procedure.
It wasn’t long before all twenty of the leaders had swallowed the unknown objects, jaws unable to resist armoured hands and teeth too weak to bite through metal. A few of the ponies were trying to cough up whatever they had swallowed, but Nigel seemed to pay them no mind as he walked back over.
By this time the rest of the firstborns had recovered from whatever had happened. A few eyes were blinking back tears but apart from that they had all escaped injury-free. For a moment, Chrysalis’ attention dropped Chalmers completely, the Queen instead turning to comfort her children.
“It will all be fine,” she soothed, patting a particularly upset Cupid on the head. “Do not cry. I’m sure that Nigel will… explain everything.”
She looked back up towards the guilty party, and he at least had the decency to look slightly guilty.
“Sorry guys,” he told them all. “But this was the easiest way to deal with all of those ponies. If I’d just fought them, there was a chance that one or more of you would get injured in the fight. I know the stunning wasn’t fun, I’ve been through it myself a few times, but it’s better than getting a spear in the gut.”
“We… we know.” It was Shade that spoke up while using a foreleg to dry a tear from Joy’s eye. He gave a small sniffle himself before speaking again. “It just hurt a bit, and it was kind of scary.”
Nigel was silent for a few moments, before he clapped his hands together all of a sudden.
“I know, I’ll make it up to all of you. How about we finish up here, and then go out and get some icecream as a family? My treat.”
“Icecream?” Swissy murmured, Chrysalis answering her with a mutter.
“A sugary pony food that is frozen dairy with flavouring. It is… admittedly not terrible.”
“Yes, icecream!” chortled Nigel, before he turned towards the council members once more while ignoring the few waking guards and the desperate thumps against the door. “You lot, where is the closest ice creamery?”
“You’re insane!” a young mare shouted back while attempting to struggle out of her bonds. “What did you feed to us!?”
Chrysalis glanced at Nigel, also eager to know.
“Oh, rigghttt,” he nodded, before reaching into a suit compartment once more. “Let’s make this quick, I’ve got some making up to do.” He pulled his hand out, and showed off the tiny silver sphere he had between his fingers. It was smaller than an Equestrian bit, everyone barely able to see it. “Ladies and Gentlemen… or ponies, this is what’s known as a ‘nanobomb’, more specifically a ‘type three nanobomb’.”
Chrysalis did not like where this was going.
“To put it simply, this is constructed out of thousands of tiny machines invisible to the naked eye, all programmed for a specific function.” He flipped the small device into the air, before catching between his fingers once more. “In this case, to make a bomb. It’s got a small yield but can be quite deadly when, say, you have a bunch of bomb-making machines that can fit into a pill. An easy to swallow pill, get my drift?”
As one, the council members started to panic. Their struggles and cries for help increased; only slowing when Nigel spoke again.
“Oh, and don’t bother trying to get them removed or anything. The bombs are currently constructed within one of the arteries in your hearts, and if you step out of line…”
The small bomb that he held was tossed up into the air, before falling back down. Nigel reached out to catch it with his fingers, but then pulled them away at the last second.
With a startling loud bang for its size, the tiny bomb detonated in a small explosion, causing everyone save for Nigel to flinch back.
“Boom.”
“Oh sweet Luna!” A stallion wailed. “We’re all going to die!”
Another young mare. “He can’t be serious!”
“Now, now,” Nigel chuckled. “There’s no need to put any strain on your hearts over this. Just remember this simple saying:
‘If bat-ponies are good, then everything runs as it should.
If bat ponies misbehave, then it’s an early grave.’
Simple, right?”
The wailing continued, Chalmers rubbing his hands together with a smile.
“Jolly good. Now, you can keep in contact with me using this.” He bent down to pick up his helmet, before he tossed a small metal rectangle onto the floor near Artibeus. “Don’t break it now.” Striding over to the main doors, the thumps still continuing, he motioned for them to follow with a hand.
Chrysalis got to her hooves with less of a frown than she had expected.
‘Why do I have to find his accursed way of manipulating those fools so alluring?’ she wondered, glancing back to see that all of the firstborns were cautiously stepping over unconscious guards to follow her.
“We’re all done here,” Nigel called out to the forces on the other side of the doors. At the same time, he put his helmet on and ensured that it clicked.
All around the room, the cables released wings and the high-tech cuffs opened with clinks. The council members flexed their wings and legs but didn’t dare move, Nigel lining up his fist against the heavy metal door lock.
There was a sharp cracking sound before the lock splintered, the force of the armoured blow pushing the two dense doors apart. Immediately the yells and shouts died out, the horde of guards all lowering their spears and glancing inside at the carnage that the room contained.
“Easy fellas, we’re down with the meeting,” Nigel reassured, but still found a mass of spears pointing at his face. Chrysalis herself was met with an equal number of points, and she glared at the ponies that dared to point their weapons at her. She felt a small amount of pride when a few visible waivered under her gaze.
“You’re not going anywhere,” a mare with a large vertical scar across one eye rebutted. The armoured bat-pony gave a pointed glance to the room. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
Chrysalis waited for Chalmers to respond, and even found herself bracing for more explosions, but to the surprise of all he merely looked back towards the Council.
“Why, good leaders of this city, your troops appear to block our way? It almost breaks my heart to see this treatment.” He finished the sentence with what Chrysalis could only assume was a wide grin under the helmet, the new guards awaiting a reply from their superiors.
“Let them through,” Artibeus confirmed through clenched teeth. “They are our… guests, after all.”
“But Councillor Artibeus sir-“
“Captain, let them through,” he repeated. “If you must follow one order in your lifetime, let it be this one.”
“Indeed,” Nigel added. “This is heart-ly the time to question orders.”
Everyone looked at him, the conscious guards with confusion while Chrysalis just shook her head and glared at him.
“Alright, even I admit that one was bad,” Chalmers groaned, before perking back up. “But forwards, dear lover and children, icecream awaits!”
With that, he marched out through the centre of the guards, Chrysalis and the firstborns really having no real alternative but to follow.
“Did you really have to put… well, explosives inside of them?” Reflection whispered when they were out of earshot. “It just seems a little excessive.”
Nigel let out a small chuckle before glancing back. “Oh, the only nanobomb I had was the one that exploded. The rest of them were aniseed-flavoured cough drops.”
“Ach!”
“Sorry Sergeant-Major, I’m almost done.”
Beams opened her eyes and looked down, spotting Sergeant Bites crouching down to her right. Her Sergeant was just about finished wrapping her side with a heavy bandage, a painful throb coming from the wound. They’d obviously put her in a chair, and going off the cushioned seat she guessed that she was still in the council chambers. A look around the room confirmed it, the chambers empty save for the squad and a few jittery guards.
“W-what happened?” she asked, wincing again when Bites put a tiny amount of pressure on the cut.
“The human and changelings triggered some kind of bombs,” Bites explained. “All I know is that I lost my hearing and couldn’t see, before I was knocked out. One of the city guards woke me up a few minutes ago, but we decided to let you sleep until we’d disinfected and dressed your wound.”
She looked down for a closer look, her memory returning to her. Glancing down around them, she spotted her sword resting on a nearby table.
“Was it bad?” she winced.
“Your wound, not too bad,” Bites reassured. “You must have fallen over and hit your sword or something. It’s just a shallow cut, but it was pretty long.” He used his wings to manipulate a bandage clasp. “As for the overall situation, we’re kind of screwed.”
Beams’ eyes widened. “Where’s the human!?”
“Gone,” answered Bites as he finished securing the clasp. “It’s bad, boss. While we and most of the guards were out cold, he apparently put some kind of explosive within the entire Council. Apparently he hinted that he can explode them whenever he wants, and then he just took the changelings and left.” Bites sat back, giving his work a final look-over. “They’ve lost it, Beams. Artibeus ordered that everyone is to do what the human wants, and for the guards to leave him and the changelings alone. Old timer and the rest of the Council are going into full panic mode.”
“Leave them alone?” she repeated, testing the cut and judging it as no barrier to movement. “We can’t just leave them alone, we have to warn Princess Luna and ask for her help!”
“No.”
Both turned towards the source of the objection, Councillor Artibeus moving towards them with a stern face.
“You can’t be serious,” Beams continued, leaving the chair and landing on her hooves. She winced as the cut stung sightly, but pushed it towards the back of her mind. “If what my Sergeant said is true, then that human is a true maniac! Did you hear what he and the Changeling Queen have planned!?”
“You are correct, he is a maniac.” Artibeus stared her down. “I know that fact quite well, Sergeant-Major, I’m currently carrying a bomb inside of my heart after all.”
Beams grimaced at that.
“The same goes for the rest of the Council,” the old stallion continued. “There is nothing we can do.”
“But what of the city?” Beams protested, sweeping her hoof to gesture at the room. “What has happened to you and the others is terrible, but-“
“Sergeant-Major, think for a moment.” Beams stopped talking as he interrupted her. “That bastard put explosives within us to keep us from disobeying him, think of what he could do to the city if he were to become displeased with us. This is a grave matter, not just for use personally, but for our entire community!”
She couldn’t help but agree with him. More and more she was regretting the plan to bring the dangerous creatures into her home city. Had she really put everyone in danger?
“I…” she started to apologise, but then stopped.
‘No, wait. Rolling over and just letting that human win isn’t going to help anyone!’
“We can’t just do nothing,” Beams repeated. “What’s stopping him from devastating our city after he’s defeated Equestria, the rest of the nations, and the Princesses!? We’d be under his complete mercy, without any hope at all! At least let us warn Princess Luna, so that she may be prepared!”
Artibeus frowned. “No, if he catches on… just… no.”
“Please,” Beams pleaded, stepping forwards to lay a wing on his shoulder. “You know that it is what we must do. If their hate against Equestria is true, then imagine what is in store for the ponies there.”
There was a brief moment of silence, Artibeus closing his eyes and rubbing a temple with a wing. Then, they opened again, the golden eyes having lost most of their steely shine. Instead, they just looked… tired.
“You must promise to tell Princess Luna only, and to stress our tenuous position,” he relented. “If she is able to help us in any way, then that is good, but if not…”
Beams nodded her head. “I understand. My squad and I will be as discreet as possible.”
“You better be,” Artibeus muttered while beginning to turn away. “It’s more than just my life on the line.”
Beams and Bites watched him go, the two soldiers glancing towards each other.
“I didn’t sign up for this,” said Bites.
“Same here,” Beams agreed, before looking over towards the three other members of their squad. “Sweeps, Dream, and Belfry, get over here!”
The three immediately began to make their way over, Beams grimacing once more.
‘I doubt our chances, but still we have to try.’]
Celestia sat in her throne, staring out through the large window that overlooked her city. The sun was nearly due to set, and it wouldn’t be long before she’d have to set out onto the balcony and preform the ritual.
The throne room was empty save for her and the two guards down the far end near the main doors, the only sound being the rhythmic tapping of her golden shoe upon the throne’s armrest. As she stared out the window, Celestia replayed the current situation over and over again in her mind.
‘All I can hope is that they give us time to prepare for their plans,’ she thought to herself with a frown. ‘Luna’s idea has merit, but is so risky that it may end up backfiring.’
Celestia had so far resorted to re-reading all of the books in the restricted section, scouring for any solution to the strife that was sure to soon befall upon the nation. Time-travel had been one possibility, but even the most uneducated of unicorns knew that it was far too dangerous to be considered as a solution to all but absolute annihilation.
“Perhaps I should consult with the Zebra soothsayers,” she murmured to herself. “They managed to predict Chrysalis’ attack during the wedding, after all. Some warning is better than none.”
She fell into silence once more, her hoof continuing to tap against the throne for a few minutes before it stopped. Celestia sighed and left her throne, her eyes heavy while she trotted over towards the balcony window. The clasp that held it shut was lifted with her magic, and the cool evening air ruffled her mane when she stepped outside.
‘At least the end of the today is very pleasant,’ she realised with a small smile. Momentarily forgetting her past coming back to haunt her, Celestia focused solely on her second most important task of the day.
Her horn glowed a radiant gold, and with a supernatural grace the sun sank slowly down to hide behind the horizon. Her smile grew when, from high up above on another balcony, she heard the faint tingle o magic.
The moon rose into view from the other side, her sister’s celestial icon shining bright with a light almost as luminous as the sun itself.
‘Luna sure has been intensifying her efforts lately,’ Celestia thought. ‘Although I can understand why.’
She lost herself for a minute in her sister’s wonderful night sky, the beauty of it bleeding away her stress and anxiety.
That is, until she felt it.
“What?” she visible asked when she felt it grow. Slowly, Celestia turned to face the north, her heart freezing when she felt another pulse of the pure, concentrated evil.
‘No,’ she silently pleaded as chills ran down her spine. ‘No. Not now, no this timing! Chalmers was bad enough, but this one…’
Her mind filled with memories of a thick, choking smog.
Of the sight of innocent ponies broken in every way possible.
Of the memory of the wicked tyrant blasting her with his corrupted magic, leaving a permanent scar in her psyche to the very day.
Celestia took a moment to compose herself, steeling her mind for what was to come. As quickly as they had come the memories had been banished to the pits of her mind again, and with a solid face she stepped back inside and closed the balcony doors.
“Guards,” she addressed while trotting over towards the two stallions. “Could you please ask Captain Shining Armour and Princess Cadence to meet with me, now. There is an urgent matter that I need to discuss with them.”
The two guards glanced at each other, before they hurried off without a word or salute. Celestia didn’t mind, now was not the time for pomp and ceremony.
Returning to her throne, she sat back down and let out a huff.
“What did I do to deserve this accursed luck?” she wondered out loud.
While waiting for the pair that she had summoned, she found her eyes drawn to a particular portrait on the opposite wall. It was nestled within the numerous mass of paintings of Equestria’s various ancient nobility, pictures of mares and stallions that had greatly influenced the development and course of the nation’s history.
It was unusual as instead of a noble in fancy dress or glittering jewels, standing or sitting in front of some lavish palace or vibrant garden, the golden-yellow mare that was the focus was dressed rather plainly.
A jewel-encrusted belt with a long cutlass in a scabbard and a large black tricorn hat were the only items of clothing, and the setting of a busy and rowdy pub was a far cry from the opulence of the other paintings.
However, it was the piercing red eyes that held Celestia’s attention, the mare’s stare seeming to bore right into her soul.
“Perhaps it is time that I asked Velvet to inform Twilight of her family lineage,” Celestia debated, while continuing to stare at the portrait. “She may be able to dig something of importance during a trip through her family’s past…”
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
1,023 users online
1,424,347 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
e.lvme.me/daggjup.jpg
The pirate returns.
I want seconds.
I want thirds.
I want to binge.
Why must you have a life?!
nigels puns are the best
Fucking Beautiful
Every time you update I get excited.
You just might be my favorite writer.
Hey twilight guess what?
Did you know that you're Actually descended from a pirate that had a hoof in the creation of equestria? Or that Luna and I accidentally 'stoned' your family's benefactor?
Or that the creature that escaped was actually the entire reason equestria even existed? Hilarious right!?
If I'm right awesome, if not meh.
Yes! I knew Nigel has an awesome plan! I hope he wins this time and becomes the true ruler of all!
........... Seriously dude?
"Luna, they put bombs into the hearts of the council!"
Luna flashes he horn, and several small bits of metal fall to the floor.
"Not anymore."
"But luna, what if he threatens the citizens of equestria?"
"Where is he?"
Luna finds out.
Luna teleports in front of him and punches the side of his head. Skull is utterly fractured.
Human dies.
Luna flips a hoof at Chrysalis and teleports away.
the end.
Seriously, this threat would be easy to remove. And a human would last about as long against an alicorn, hell a normal pony, as a mouse against a crocodile.
6811814
...Have you even read any of this 'verse, m8?
My day has been made, thank you Dropbear for another beautiful chapter!
.....is that sombra I see in the distance?
6811821 Do know he somehow beat a dragon to death.
Aka you are using that lazy, contrived plot point of somehow making the magicless humanoids somehow stronger tahn a Fucking Magic Dragon.
Thus i am ignoring that aspect completely cause of sheer contrivance. Cause that is not in any dimension sensible.
6811886
Bruh.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9094-twilightdoyouevenread.png
Have you even read Ponies Pirates and Peculiar Psychopaths? Or any of Dropbear's other fics?
Because then, maybe if you were paying any attention, you'd know that in the last fic he built an entire evil base and battleship out of dirt using sufficiently advanced power armor. Then maybe you might'a noticed that this is a comedy, along with the rest, having fun with HiE and sci-fi tropes and weaving them into decent stories through the absurdity. Then 'ye might'a noticed that it's a fic about Nigel "Mothafuckin'" Chalmers, the hardest cunt this side of Space 'Straya.
Raptor Jesus damn you, Drop. You can't just update one chapter and not expect us to yearn for more! You are practically Hitler, here.
6811947 problem is that most sotries of this 'genre' play out Like This to begin with. and often demand to be taken seriously
6811814 Do you have no sense of plot and story?
6811979 do, and i have read stories this ridiculous that are, for some reason, meant to be taken seriously.
6811814
Ah, LoM, so good to see you.
i.imgur.com/pNhSWJw.gif
"Yes, Lord of Myth, tell me how my human character will get beaten effortlessly by magical horses mhmm!"
If only he actually put bombs in the council...
.>tfw someone just doesn't get how things work
LoM, I love reading the crap you spew out on HIEs, but from one troll to another it's going to be wasted here, mang. I mean, you could at least get a little creative from time to time. Get some new material, present your criticisms in verse or in visual form, something that isn't just interchangeable and repetitive.
lh3.ggpht.com/lbjiMd7y1DYEdwSwXSz_VJ_qANUP5maS2bCMC6-8fvW_ktZpc3qjo5uJ_s04owvE1A=w300
6811979
6811821
Eh, it's just LoM's usual MO. He'll show up, bitch about a HIE fic (usually including a complex and detailed explanation) about how Celestia/Luna/Twilight/Featherweight would 'Totes wreak that man's shit, yo', engage with a few readers when called out, then retreat to his lair in await of a new HIE to feed off.
He's like the equivalent of a Fimfiction barnacle, latching on to a hull before being brushed back off into the waters.
6811967
That's a real fukkin' shame ain't it? Good thing it doesn't apply here, ain't it?
6812111
I thought those cunts all died off in like, 2013-14...
Must be new.
6811600
I actually get most of my writing done at work these days...
6811601
nigels puns are the
bestworst.6811652
You should read something from other authors then.
(just kidding, ReadVoteLikeFavoriteSubsribeDonatetomyPatreonSendmeacheckTellyourmotherTellyourfatherTelleveryoneVote1DropbearforWorldLeader)
6811687
Oh ho ho, if only you knew where this was going to go...
6811799
I'm sure he'll prove to be a
wiseunderstandingintelligenthumblehonest...a ruler?
6811869
He's so close that you could almost taste him. Maybe Nigel should bring a vacuum cleaner...
6811966
Remember kids, the first taste is free...
6811979
I know, I know, I have to improve on that. I mean the current tactic of just flinging shit at the wall is just unsustaina-
Oh, you were just talking to LoM. Carry on.
6812128
Nah, LoM's been around since before me. He just surfaces every once in a blue moon.
6812136
Huh, don't think I've seen 'im around before.
Anyways, great tease of a chapter.
I'll just be here. Waiting patiently.
6812134 I'll be honest, I don't care how he rules as long as he has fun, gets plenty of changeling poon, CONSTRUCTS MORE PYLONS (and maybe a satellite laser of DOOM or two), and wears pants no more than half the time.
6812147
I'm trying to get stuff out faster. It's just a pain having three-five fics on the go with each needing chapters averaging around 10,000 words. I'm trying to decide if I should shorten chapters to around 5k-6k words so I can post updates more frequently.
6812111 LoW is adorable, isn't he? Anyways, this comment is why you are not only one of my favorite authors, but also my favorite human being on this site. ...Wait, do Australians count as humans, or are they their own species of hyper-dangerous marsupial hunters?
6812156 I'm not sure if I want you to make that decision or not. I absolutely love the chapters how they are, even as infrequent as they are, but them coming out sooner, if a bit shorter, is a tempting offer.
Still, I don't care either way as long as I get more Nigel.
6811947 Nigel isn't just the hardest cunt, he can suck in his balls and make an indestructible cunt, just to brag thst he has the biggest balls and hardest cunt this side of the universal quadrant.
6812111 and again someone brushing off criticism by calling me a 'troll'. Sighs. First sign o trouble.
This is the fourth, count of, Fourth story i have seen on this with this exact same plot. Humans comes to equestria, for some reason has super powers, teams up with queen chrysalis, and is somehow a constant threat despite facing what should be superior forces. And most of them demand they be taken seriously.
And they are equally as ridiculous as this one is.
I criticize human in equestria stories for a variety of reasons. The powers given to humans are often contrived, especially if any at all. It relies on other character being dingbats in order for the human to be a threat. And most of all, they end up being significantly lacking in creativity. Like i said, this is the fourth iteration of this concept with these aspects.
Drop, dude, please please for the love of god KILL THEM ALL.I need to see (read) them get destroyed.
6812230
It might help if you actually demonstrated an ability for reading comprehension. Besides I know how you operate, actually explaining simple plot elements to you usually flies over your head and really should only be done for entertainment purposes. Such as now.
I highly doubt it. Surely I'd already have been done for plagiarism.
Pretty rare for a HIE, I must admit.
Such as?
A character enjoyed and used by many writers. Hey, at least he isn't constantly shacking up with Twilight or Rainbow Dash. Hang on... *Furiously writes down next fic involving Twilight and a robo-sex suit powered by foal tears*
Superior how? I could make my characters shoot miniaturised singularities from their nipples and you'd still try and pull your usual shtick.
i.imgur.com/tHlVj4w.jpg
Are you sure you haven't just been reading only my fics? That'd sure explain it.
Most of the criticism I see from you is 'Well, that human may be *insert any sort of human ranging from modern day teenager to anime god-character*, but *Insert random Alicorn\unicorn\Royal Guard* could just *Insert means of destruction never seen in show or any canon material* so there.You lament your own lack of creativity?
"Contrived
adjective
deliberately created rather than arising naturally or spontaneously.
created or arranged in a way that seems artificial and unrealistic."
It's almost as if this is amateur fan-fiction meant for entertainment, huh...
...Or makes the character a reasonable expectation of what a sociopath serving an evil sci-fi space empire would look like when tormenting a race of ponies that are too nice for their own good... and also a dingbat.
Brah, all my characters are dingbats. Get with the program already.
Coming the guy who makes the same, copy-paste argument in the comment section of all of the HIE's he 'hates'. As said previously, you don't even spice it up and it just gets boring.
Please list them. I'd love to chat with the authors and swap fimfiction-warstories.
Actually... wait...
1. Human that LoM hates...
2. Generally on good terms with Chrysalis...
3. LoM doesn't find the fic serious...
Oh.
My.
God.
Have you been reading all of my fics?
img1.reactor.cc/pics/comment/full/my-little-pony-Queen-Chrysalis-mlp-art-minor-213071.png
Eagerly awaiting your no-doubt entertaining rebuttal,
Your dear friend,
Dropbear.
6812313 http://archiveofourown.org/works/5553836/chapters/12811085 Rise of darth vulcan. very similar plot. And that includes trying to influence the bat ponies.
also iti s really stretching that ponies are that dumb. these aren't the candy people of adventure time >_<
originally it was on fimfiction though. took me a bit to find it again.
cannot find the other examples though.
6812230 Yes, this is a fic that must be taken seriously. Very seriously. Look how serious I am.
screencrave.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Yes-Man-Jim-Carreys-Disfugured-Face-3-1-10-kc.jpg
I'm so serious.
My fic:
Intelligence agent from a evil sci-fi empire acquires experimental super-suit and drunkenly falls into ocean. Emerges on pony planet pre-Equestria. Attacks random pirate ship and proclaims self captain. Acquires drone-Chrysalis as changeling friend. Acquires nymphs from trader. Acquires town from mayor. Builds evil tower. Makes war with Platinum. Makes Friends with Platinum... kind of. Makes war with pre-smoke Sombra. Makes friends with pre-smoke Sombra... kind of. Plans to takeover world and mine the shit out of it for profit along with Sombra. Is frozen in stone after meeting with teenage Celestia and Luna.
(This actual fic)
Comes out from stone after earning philosophy degree and watching 1200 years of p0rn. Breaks free from shed prison. Acquires changeling descendent. Meets up with ex-friend-turned-lover-turned-Changeling Queen. Immediately argues with her. Makes up with her, decides to resume world conquest for the good of his ego. Acquires bat-pony spies. Goes on a 'family bonding excursion'. Fights dragon with bat-pony spies and Chrysalis. Meets in bat-pony city with leaders. Takes them over after they betray him. Has icecream.
Meanwhile, in that other fic:
Displaced human from earth acquires costume. Goes to equestria. Gets powers from costume but still remains ordinary jack-off in mind. Meets Diamond Dogs. Acquires Diamond Dog follows. Sets fire to pony village because it's too colourful for his dark and brooding teenage mind to process. Kills dragon. Eats dragon while making Lord of the Rings reference (I admit that I chuckled). Beats up on Diamond Tiara (most likely in revenge for own real-life bullies). Kidnaps Diamond Tiara. Bitches about how Celestia keeps Luna in line. Is hunted by Discord making an amazing Steve Erwin reference. And I kind of stopped at when he gave Zecora a deep south 'black' accent. Not because it was offensive, but I believe John Hood released a chapter.
So, to sum up, you just proved that you really don't know what you're talking about. Both characters have different powers, motives, personalities, histories, introductions, friends, allies, enemies, obstacles, ect.
Dumb how? They've reacted pretty much as expected when faced with that particular foe.
Please do try, your first one really backfired on you in quite a hilarious manner.
6812353
Horsewords are serious business, yo.
6812370 You can’t even imagine how serious I'm take this.
6812369 wow, ignoring the numerous similarities on purpose. Good move. No one is liable ti actually read that dumb story and notice similarities. Who reads?
That was vaguely painful.
6812400
Going off your typing and comprehension, I'm sure you rarely do.
6812449
Only 'vaguely'? I wanted it cringworthy...
6812541
I've been cringing so much here lately, my standards for it have become a lot higher. Turn it into a song and dance routine, maybe?
And now pointing out typos in the comment section as if it is an actual way to rate writing and comprehension. Reached the final check-mark on the list then. Sighs.
Same song and dance. Each time. No variation. No effort on the other side to actually defend a point.
Comedy or not, it is as lacking in creativity as it is contrived.
6812111
O Trekke, who blundered.
6812554
That's because you're a dumbass with delusions of importance and nobody actually cares enough to defend themselves against anything.
I mean, seriously, calling this a ripoff of Darth Vulcan, fucking Christ. What are you smoking even. At least call it a ripoff of every single other one of his own stories, because it kinda is.
6812554
I'm ashamed to have displeased you, oh great one. I guess I just have to console myself with the hundreds of other readers...
C'ya next time, Mythy, when you try to repeat the same song and dance.
6812156
Leave chapters at 10k, shorter would be even bigger cocktease
6812400
Did you even read those 2 fics? They are completly different.
Yes oh wait you have right, both have magical mini horses damn shame on you dropbear stealing idea of magical mini horses! Shameeee
6812400 dude I read Raise of Darth Vulcan and I find it weird you even compared it with this fic they are not the same just because Dropbear likes Changelings and Bat ponies don't mean he is copying anything I assure you Ted only have bat ponies because they seek him out as means to leash out at Celestia and her scientist the rest that show up later he let them go Ted only wants the rebels for his cause Chalmers only wants to pet them and get vengeance on Celestia for put him on stone like a fool just drop it or keep entertaining us your call
6812590 Thanks for the update I love it
6812590
If I wasn't wrong, LoM is the guy who fervently believe that ponies of MLP are flawless and OP over human races? No matter what type of human like human with space marine suit or Force user etc?
6811814 my god you are an absolute faggot
Nigel handled that in the most violent and tyrannical way possible. I like that, and now it seems like Sombra is about to begin kicking as well.
If I remember right, they left each other on quite the negative terms, maybe even more so than Celestia left him.... I can just imagine him finding out the human is running around during the fight with the equestrian's and going, "Oh, oh hell no, that human needs to go down far more than the pony sisters, I can handle them later." Because after all, Nigel DID almost blow up him and his entire city if I remember right.
Just imagining the shock on twilight and her friend's faces when Sombra says something along the lines of, "Alright, I know we're supposed to be fighting, but if that human is still around, we need to take him out sooner rather than later."
That would be fucking great!