Doing His Duty

by Dick McKickEm

Chapter the Eighth: Jungle Run

“Hey.”

“Waaake uuuup.”

“Heyheyheyheyheyheyhey!”

“...”

“WAKE UP!”

With a snort Flash Sentry was rudely yanked out of his slumber, flailing like as fish out of water.

“Ah! Whuh? Hmmm?” Was the witty reply Flash made to his newly-acquired state of consciousness.

“Yep. I think that dun woke ‘im.” somepony with an accent like a banjo remarked. “Gall darn it, Pinkie, any higher pitched and only mutts could’a heard ya.”

“Sorry!” replied another pony whose voice sounded like she had been sucking on helium.

The first thing that Flash noticed about the room was the severe lack of any decent light source. The only thing that kept his world from being pitch black was a flickering orange tiki torch that caused all of the ponies shadows to dance on the walls.

Oh, and then there were the ponies. Lining the sides of the ten foot-by-ten room were five strange ponies with neon colored coats, an alicorn princess,  and one very familiar unicorn guard, all snugly tied to their chairs with heavy-duty rope. It was like one of those situations that always ended in a punchline.

Flash groaned. “So, did we win?”

“Land ho!”

A dozen sailors serving aboard The Intimidator dropped what they were doing and simultaneously swung their heads westward. The rumble of a hundred hooves on a wooden deck rang out across the ship.

“Hey, what’s the big-?” Flash started to ask, but his jaw dropped as he spotted the stampede heading straight for him. Before he could react, Flash was swept up in a current of sweaty ponies like a leaf on a river.

“Ah! Hey!” Flash was forced to run with the crowd in order to not be trampled over.

“Ooof!” The group was jerked to a halt by the railing just before they ran themselves over the edge of the ship.

Looking out, one could see a vague shape on the horizon, barely thicker than a strand of hair if somepony were holding it up to their face. One would only spot this land if they were specifically looking for it. After a grueling five days over an endless ocean,  the crew had been doing just that.

“Wah-hoo!”

“Land! Land! Land! Land!”

“Maretonian ladies, here we come!”

“Cool your jets, sailors!” one of the senior members of the ship’s crew commanded, having managed to avoid being swept up in the crowd. “We still have flying to do, so I’d recommend getting back to your posts before the captains see how lazy you all are.”

With a collection of gripes, grumbles and dirty looks, the crew reluctantly trotted away from the guardrail and went back to their stations. Some of them tossed a last glance over their shoulder before disappearing below deck.

Flash Sentry, comforted with the knowledge that Blueblood was safely reading more of his books in his room, elected to hang back and admire the view a little more. Save for the small speck of terrain hugging the horizon, there wasn’t much else to see that he hadn’t been seeing for the better part of a week.

“Well, that’s a lot of trees.” Flash observed.

Klang. Xander’s hoof bopped the pegasus’s helmet hard enough for it to ring like a bell and hoofed Flash a note.

Rubbing the back of his head, Flash read the note.

No shit Lt.Obvious.

Flash made a face and Xander made one right back. Cotton Swab chortled, still standing a few paces behind the two.

Growing half a klick under The Intimidator was a jungle. Not just any jungle, mind you, this sprawling mass of trees was Thicket; the largest continuous forest known to ponykind, rumored to cover a minimum of seventy percent of Maretonia and her territories. Thousands, if not millions, of towering tropical trees bearing shiny neon green leaves and spindly branches packed tightly together made up Thicket’s blanketlike canopy. Those on the ship wouldn’t even be able to spot the forest floor if they had a telescope.

Two of the three corpsponies looked down upon the jungle and watched as a flock of blindingly colorful birds of paradise weave in and out of swirling white mist rising from the greenery below like a group of dolphins in the ocean. Funny how, in the span of a half hour, one could trade an ocean of deep blue water for an ocean of bright green plant life.

“Sure beats the Empire.” Flash mused aloud. “I don’t know about anypony else, but I was getting pretty sick of--”

“Crystals?” Cotton asked.

“--snow.”

The medic nodded. “Ah.”

Flash noticed one of the ship’s captains trot up beside him; the one with a brown coat and red mane rather than vice versa.

“Welcome to Maretonia,” said the captain. The stallion’s voice was much less off-putting when he could finish his own sentence. “I hear this is your first time aboard a skyship.”

Flash slipped back into the comfortable familiarity of his military etiquette. “Yes it is, Captain, ahh…?”

“I’m Cloud. The fat one is Lightning.” he answered.

Flash blinked, still retaining his tried-and-true expression of neutrality. “Oh, the...fat one.”

He scanned the captain's visage for any sign that he was just joking with him as all other members of the guard seem to do, but Cloud’s facial features were set in stone.

“I told you, C,” came Cloud’s voice from another pony trotting up from just behind them “I’m only-”

“-two pounds heavier than you.” the captain finished his brother’s words. “Which makes you the fat one and me the thin one.”

“By two pounds!” Lightning sighed. “Excuse my brother, he’s the dumb one.”

“By one IQ point.” Cloud shot back.

“Pshh. Imbecile.”

“Lardo.”

“Heathen.”

“Pig.”

“Ignoramus.”

“Must have taken forever to think up a comeback like that.”

“Been practicing it in the mirror all morning.”

“Your mother.”

“Your mother too.”

“Okay, Our mother.”

“Good afternoon, Captain Lightning.” Flash cut in, hoping to interrupt their impromptu pissing contest.

Both captains shot each other a glare in unison before turning to Flash. Cloud cleared his throat, followed by Lightning thereafter.

“It is our duty as captains of this vessel-”

“-to inform all non-crew personnel-”

“-that we will be reaching Spire City in approximately four hours.”

“So be prepared-”

“-to disembark soon thereafter.”

“We trust you can relay this to His Grace by then, correct?” Cloud finished.

“Yes sirs!” Flash said, giving the two a crisp salute.

“Good.”

“Then we’ll be off.”

And with that being said, the twins turned tail and went off, presumably to do more captain-ey stuff.

“... … … “

“Okay, does anypony else think that’s really creepy?” Flash asked.

Xander nodded.

“More than you will ever know.” Cotton said.

Thicket.

As the convoy of airships rolled steadily across the great jungle landscape, the very air that everypony breathed became noticeably thicker, wetter and hotter - growing steadily in intensity the farther inland they flew. The cool, salty breeze of the Tumbling Sea was gone, replaced by a muggy wind that caressed the crew like the breath of an angry dragon. How could anypony live like this? Flash internally took back everything he said about the Crystal Empire’s climate, the air in Maretonia was like living in a pot of boiling stew.

Bzz-zzz-zzt...zzz-zzt.

“F-flash.” Cotton said.

“Flash’s ears perked up at the utterance of his name. “What is it?”

Bzz-zzz-zzz-zzt!

Both Cotton Swab and Xander were looking at him like he had sprouted a horn and an extra set of wings.

“What?”

“Hold...very...still.” Cotton Swab’s horn lit up with a light crimson aura.

Zzz. Zzzt.

He tensed up. “What are you doing that for?!”

Cotton furrowed her brow in concentration. Then, zap, a single bolt of pink lightning erupted from her forehead.

Bzzz...thud.

Flash felt like a ten pound sack of rocks was lifted off of his back, which- oddly enough -was accompanied by the smell of burnt toast filling his nostrils.

He looked down to see the blackened carcass of some kind of insect about the size of a hoofball, its appendages slim and fragile like a toothpick, a long needle protruding from between two spherical masses of compound eyes.

It was a mosquito.

A big. Ass. Mosquito.

Flash looked at the bug, then to Cotton, then back to the bug.

His mouth was hanging wide open like a venus fly trap.

“Uh, th-thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Do you mind if I pass out?”

“Go ahead.”

Spire City.

Hundreds upon hundreds of octagonal towers composed of nothing but hardwood logs and crudely cut planks rose forth from the foggy recesses of the jungles, each one closer than the last to scraping the clouds themselves, some of them even overtaking The Intimidator in sheer altitude. An intricate web of rope bridges connected these towers, crisscrossing over and under with enough room in between to fly a small airboat through. All of the spires were capped with steeply slanted thatch roofs. Most of them flew Maretonia’s signature flag of golden palm leaves on a royal blue background.

Like a colony of bees floating in slow motion about their hive, a multitude of skyships that matched the entire city’s wood motif floated lazily amidst the many towers, bumbling to and fro from the docks jutting out over open space. Flash cringed as the ships rolled farther into the city airspace, passing other ships with barely ten feet of open space to spare. He watched The Intimidator’s crewponies and the crew of other boats exchanged casual salutes and short greetings as if missing a collision by a narrow margin was nothing to worry about.

“Do they always cut it that close?” Flash asked.

“Yes.” Cotton groaned. “They do it all the time here. It’s a wonder these hulking monstrosities don’t end up knocking down this city like the world’s biggest set of bowling pins. I mean, we’re being held up by a cloud in a cloth balloon that could rupture and send us crashing to the ground in a blaze of glory if anything at all goes wrong. We should have just left the flying to the pegasi.”

“You’re just a ball of sunshine on long trips, aren’t you?”

“Bite me.”

Land sweet land.

Well, sort of. While technically not land, the wooden boards of the airboat dry dock were not suspended in the air by a sketchy balloon that relied chiefly on pegasus magic. They were good enough for Cotton, seeing as how she was trying to hug the entire dock.

All of the ponies that weren’t accustomed to flying on a ship- read: Flash -instantly went wobbly in the legs the moment that they set hoof upon immobile ground. Flash hazily looked around as a small herd of sailors wove around him, and it was as if the world was still drifting by at a cloud’s pace for a minute or two. He felt like he might fall over from motion sickness.

Xander slapped his fellow guard on the back and snickered.

“The magic of modern technology, am I right?” Blueblood said with a smirk.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Flash tried to stand up as straight as his body would allow. “I”m fine.”

“Welcome to Spire City!” Out of nowhere, a young mare with a blindingly bright green coat and an intricately dyed dress threw a delicate ring of tropical flowers around Flash’s neck, planting a light kiss on the side of his helmet.

The guard nearly punched her in the face, but either sheer dumb luck or instincts kept him from knocking the poor lady on her flank as soon as he realized her intentions weren’t at all violent. “Uh, good afternoon, miss?”

The filly giggled without a word, moving toward the prince and giving him a kiss and a flower necklace as well. “Hello! Welcome to Spire City!” Blueblood merely smiled and nodded his thanks. She went on to do this to Xander and Cotton as well, both of them reacting with more grace than the pegasus.

“My name is Bright Leaf and I’ll be your liaison for today!” The mare flashed a sparkling set of pearly whites at all of them. “Should you have any questions about our fine city or need any help in finding anything at all, simply ask me and I will provide all the service you need.”

“Smashing,” said Blueblood with that polite politician tone of his. He dipped his head in a quarter-bow. “It is a pleasure, Miss Leaf.”

“Oh, no no no,” she immediately protested “the pleasure all is mine.”

Flash cringed internally. That was almost exactly what he sounded like when sucking up to royalty.

“Now,” she said, maintaining her nearly impossible grin “if you all would follow me, I’ll show you where you’ll be spending your stay here in Maretonia.”

Blueblood held his expertly faked smile. “Lead the way.”

Flash was pretty sure he could vacation here.

A short while after Cotton pulled the prince aside and quietly made it known to him how she absolutely refused to set hoof on those “deathtrap” rope bridges, Blueblood requested that Bright Leaf take a route crossing the ground level of Spire City as much as possible.

From up on the skyship, Flash had imagined the forest floor to be as thick and leafy as the canopy, but in fact it was a veritable garden of well-groomed alien plants, lit only by the sparse rays of sunlight that managed to penetrate the jungle’s shroud. Wide-leafed ferns, sprouting seedlings, grasses soft as silk, fruit-bearing vines and nameless flowers in all colors of the rainbow and then some lined the winding wide paths in between buildings.The forest’s choir rung in their ears with its unending harmony made up of the buzzing of oversized insects, the chirping of crickets and birds, and the gurgle of brooks snaking their way through the jungle. If one were to crane their neck to look straight up, they would notice the majority of the spires disappearing as soon as they passed the canopy, like pillars that supported the inside of a castle. Now that Flash could see them up close and personal, these spires looked much bigger from the ground. The smallest ones, he guessed, could have been at least the width of a sizeable house from the Empire.

Every few paces they would pass by a small group or pair of ponies strolling the paths with them, the majority wearing brightly dyed flower-print clothing much like Bright Leaf, who would smile and offer sincere greetings to the passers-by.

The guide led Blueblood and his corps to yet another hardwood tower nearly identical to the rest, save for some minor variations in exterior decorations and architecture. Flash supposed that only one who had lived here their whole life could even begin to comprehend which spires were what at a glance. This one was one of the largest largest located roughly in the center of the city, being maybe twenty paces wide on just one of its eight sides.

The mare stopped to wrench open one of the building’s reed double-doors for them. As they filed in with minor nods of thanks to Bright Leaf, Flash noticed a intricately carved sign next to the entrance reading “Euphoria: Spire City’s Premier Hotel and Resort”.

...for ponies with far too much money on their hooves, Flash mentally added.

The inside could only be described as pure, unfiltered swank. Carpets intricately woven with images depicting all kinds of flora and fauna from the jungle, artsy-fartsy oil paintings from the middle years of the fourth age, the employees all decked out in uniforms that probably cost more than his weekly paycheck, obligatory white crystal chandeliers, the whole nine yards. It was okay compared to the Empire’s palace and Canterlot’s castle. Flash had long since become completely numb to fancy decorations.

“If you’ll follow me this way, Your Grace,” Leaf said, stepping into another room, “I will show you to your room.”

Flash was the last to file into the the… incredibly small cage.

It was like standing in a matchbox. Four ponies and a hulking zony barely had enough room to fit inside without seriously invading each other’s personal space.

Bright Leaf reached into the doorway and slid closed a gate, shutting them in the claustrophobic room.

Then the pegasus then noticed how tight Cotton Swab had shut her eyes.

“What’s going on?” he asked. “Why are we shut in this tiny room?”

At first, Blueblood looked at his guard like he had been speaking gibberish, then his face softened. “Ah that’s right, you’ve never ridden an elevator before.”

“What’s an elevator?”

Cotton opened one eye. “Tartarus in Equestria.”

With a few thumps on the wall, Bright Leaf called out to no one in particular. “Operator. Penthouse floor.”

“Got’cha, Bright!” A voice came from behind the wall.

Blueblood snorted. “In that case, I guess you could call it a...hellevator.”

Flash chortled. Everypony else, including Bright Leaf, let out a long groan.

For the first time that day, the guide’s composure faltered. “Really, Your Grace? With all due respect, that was uncalled for.”

Flash patted the prince of puns on the shoulder consolingly. “I thought it was funny.”

“Goooo-ing up!” The voice declared merrily.

Rumble. The cage was jerked to the side, causing everypony but Bright to lose their footing a little. With a mechanical clickety clack and the droning squawk of a wagon wheel in need of oil, the room ascended, creating a slight dizzying in its riders. They watched as the walls surrounding the elevator fell off, leaving naught but a steel cage between the riders and open windows that revealed the tangle of tree trunks and branches as far as anyone could see. Higher and higher the machine climbed, passing the canopy in a heartbeat and ascending through the open blue skies like a bird.

“Is it over yet?” Cotton asked, her eyes locked up tight and her brow damp with sweat. Flash could’ve sworn he heard her heart beating from the other side of the elevator.

“I wouldn’t recommend you open your eyes yet.” Blueblood said.

Rattle. The elevator jerked to a stop.

Ding.

“Penthouse floor!” Bright cheerily announced.

With a clatter of armor, Cotton dove out of that claustrophobic space the moment the guide slid open the elevator’s door.

It was a nice day for a white wedding.

Then again, as far as Flash knew, it was always a nice day in Maretonia.

A hooffull of ponies and gryphon-folk sat scattered on the benches of an outdoor amphitheatre. The large construction felt naked, like a leafless tree, with so few ponies to occupy it. Though, an average pony may not find that to be an accurate description if they were to lays eyes upon the lush decorations lining the entirety of the building. The theatre itself was as much a construction of ponies as it was a construction of nature. Every carved stone brick that held the walls up was wrapped with tangled vines or furry moss to the point where one would not be able to see the stone part anymore without peeling away at the layers of flora first. The cracked walkaways were lined on both sides with potted plants, flower petals, and beeswax candles - unlit for the time being. The slightly uncomfortable rock pews bore carvings of forest creatures, and were dyed a slight yellow with all the pollen floating around this season.

Trotting along the dozens of rows in the semicircular theatre, the prince decided that he wouldn’t be intruding upon anypony’s spot if he picked one at random. He took his place at one of the higher rows, giving him a view of the center where the bride and groom were to be wed. The Corps chose the row just behind his.

“The turnout seems a bit lighter than I expected.” Blueblood mused aloud, fidgeting a bit to get used to the stone bench.

“Not many ponies actually come to a wedding’s rehearsal.” Princess Celestia said, taking a seat next to her nephew. “Most would rather see the show in its entirety with all the bells and whistles.”

“Aye.” Luna agreed, sitting down on the prince’s side opposite her sister. “Only the betrothed couple and the ponies that wish to kiss their royal asses actually show up to the damned thing.”

“Now what does that say about us, dear sister?” Celestia teased.

“That we have little better to do.” the night princess bitterly admitted. “Truthfully, I would rather be in my quarters with the shades drawn tight and a blanket over my own head than stroking a Maretonian noble’s ego.”

Celestia gave her sister a look that only the two of them knew so well. She was not amused. “You always were cranky without your sleep. Have you ever tried coffee, Luna?”

“Coffee?”

“You know, that hot black stuff that keeps you awake.”

Luna returned that look tenfold. “I am no knave! I know what coffee is, Celly, and I find it repulsive.”

“Even with cream and sugar?”

“Yes, even with-” The princess did a double-take. “You can do that?”

“It’s quite delicious.” Blueblood chimed in.

“It’s even better when they flavor the cream with vanilla, mint, chocolate, and stuff.” Cotton added cheerily.

“Mmm mmm!” Xander hummed.

“I’m with the princess. I’ve never heard of it.” Flash said.

“That’s because it’s a royal secret.” Cotton said.

Flash clammed up like someone had just told him the dirtiest joke in existence. “Then should we be discussing it so openly on foreign soil?!”

Everypony but Flash laughed.

Princess Luna turned around to regard the guard with a smile. “You and I have been away too long from the world, my friend.”

Cotton’s ears perked up as soon as the realization hit her. “Wait, you’ve both been alive for over a thousand years without coffee?!”

“Aye.”

“Not a drop.”

Cotton’s mouth was left agape, and Xander shook his head slowly, mouthing the word “wow”, both Flash and Luna merely looked confused.

“Oh!” Blueblood said, gesturing at the stage and snapping the others out of their temporary stupor, “I think it’s starting.”

Everypony cast their eyes down to the raised platform upon which a bearded pony dressed in silken robes that covered all but his face and an unnecessarily large headdress that looked like it could be used as a kite stood.

He trotted center stage and put his muzzle to a comically large brass horn.

“H-hello?” His voice echoed through the building, coming out of the instrument all muffled and scratchy. “Ah, Princesses Celestia, Luna, and company! It is an honor. Can you all hear me in the back?”

Without any warning whatsoever, the princess of the night’s lungs exploded with sounds of an eardrum-spotting volume, blowing back manes and ruffling feathers like a windstorm.  “SALUTATIONS, DUKE HORACIO, WE CAN HEAR YOUR WORDS QUITE CLEARLY. CAN YOU HEAR US AS WELL?”

His ears ringing like a stick of dynamite went off in his face, Flash was pretty sure that even the ponies in Saddle Arabia were clutching their heads in agony. The only one that didn’t seem fazed by this at all was Princess Celestia, which...didn’t surprise him all that much.

“Yes, I do believe I can. Very well then.” the duke said, turning his attention away from the group. “Now, as you all know, this grand ceremony is a wedding between a Maretonian prince and a tribal gryphon princess, both of which hail from distinctly different cultures. As a symbol of our joining together as one nation, we’ve agreed to not strictly adhere to the matrimonial traditions of either side. Our planning team has composed a ceremony that will be a blend of both gryphonfolk and ponyfolk. It is quite simple, if I do say so myself.”

Duke Horacio paused as the few ponies and gryphons stomped their hooves and clapped their claws in applause.

“As an old Equestrian hymn begins,” the duke gestured to the choir of ten ponies and ten gryphons “both the bride and groom will enter from either side of the theatre, marching to the cadence in unison, matching one another pace-by-pace. They will meet the wedders in the center - a role which will be assumed by both myself and High Feather Tiana, the bride’s mother who unfortunately could not make it to the rehearsal. This represents the path that both sides have taken to finding one another. Once in the center, the lady and I will perform marriage rites consisting of some holy proverbs and brief rounds of chanting, then we will say a few words reflecting the bride and groom’s life, and the couple will recite the vows which they have both written. And then that’s that.”

“That doesn’t sound too dull.” Blueblood commented. “It could be fun.”

“Oh,” the duke added “and in accordance to the ancient gryphonian tradition that has not been practiced for many a century, the bride and groom will be required to consummate their marriage in they eyes of family and gods, as proof of their love.”

A deafening silence washed over the place like a tidal wave.

Duke Horacio, a pleased grin on his face, waited a few beats before leaning back into the horn.

“Just kidding.”

If one was to take a few paces back and look upon the thin crowd in its entirety, they would notice the a distinct pattern of behavior in both races that made up the group. One side was the gryphon-folk, slapping each other on the back and squawking uproariously in an odd way that somewhat resembled laughter to someone without a beak. On the the other side were the ponies, who were otherwise silent, a shade of red flooding into their collective faces as if they were trees at the beginning of autumn… with the exception of Princess Luna and Xander whose reactions mirrored that of the gryphons.

Horatio waited a few moments for the audience to simmer down with a dumb grin.

“Now, with all that out of the way, let us begin the wedding rehearsal, take one. On my mark…”

There was a brief moment when all was still, then the duke waved his hoof and the baritone section of the choir immediately rung out with low, hollow notes, chanting in a mix of tribal gryphonian and ancient Equestrian. Soon enough, the sopranos joined the mix, followed by the altos. Flash couldn’t make out a word of it, save for a few familiar Equestrian phrases and words mixed amongst the birdspeak.

As the chanting suddenly intensified in volume and tempo, the group caught their first glimpse of the bride and groom, each one slipping out from behind the walls on opposite ends of the theater, both equine prince and gryphonian princess had their eyes locked upon one another, marching rhythmically, their paces almost in perfect synch. Of course, neither of them wore their wedding garbs to the practice - leaving them for when the real wedding takes place. Wouldn’t want to spoil the whole thing, now would they?

“Oh, send me to Tartarus.”

Both solar and lunar princesses looked to their nephew in shock of his sudden outburst.

Uh oh. That can’t be good. “What is it?” Cotton and Flash asked in stereo, thier hair immediately standing on end.

“We’ve got another one.”

Xander groaned.

Celestia cleared her throat awkwardly. “Tell me she isn’t-”

“She is.”

“The bride, Blueblood? Of all the ponies it could have been...”

“I’m not proud of it.”

Luna smirked. “Oh my my my, this has just become much more interesting, hasn’t it?”

Cotton put a firm hoof on the prince’s shoulder and leaned in to whisper. “As your loyal bodyguard of three years, I recommend we get the hell out of here right now.”

“Seconded.” Flash seconded.

“Mmm hmm!” Xander hummed in agreement.

By then, the bride and groom had met in the center. The chanting had died down, and the soon-to-be-wed couple were both discussing something with the duke and choir, what they were discussing, nopony knew. Probably marriage suff.

“Take two!” Duke Horacio said into the horn. The prince and princess briskly trotted back to their places, as did the choir.

Princess Luna cast a concerned look at the stage. “Have you considered not assuming she want’s my nephew’s head on a platter?”

Xander had to smother his muzzle with a hoof to keep from laughing too hard.

Cotton elbowed the zony in his armored side. “Will all due respect, Your Highness, we are not in the business of gambling with anypony’s life.”

She stood up and ushered the corps and its prince to do the same.

“But it makes little sense!” the princess went on. “What are the chances that every last mare on the planet that Blueblood has romanced desires revenge?”

“Astronomical,” Cotton Swab grunted “but odds never were our thing. Now can we go before she notices us?”

Luna shook a series of puzzling thoughts from her head. “This is madness, but if you insist then I will not hold you here.”

“Stop! Stop! Everypony stop!” the duke shouted out.

Naturally, everyone within earshot froze.

“Prince Blueblood!” Horacio called out.

Flash- thanks to his sharp pegasus eyes -immediately noticed the gryphon princess’s eyes widen to the size of tea saucers the moment those words escaped her soon-to-be father-in-law’s lips. She was making no effort to hide it, she knew that name without a doubt.

“Shhhhhhit.” the prince hissed.

“If I recall correctly, you performed a lovely rendition of Equestrian Fields Forever at our charity ball last October.” the duke chirped. “You’ve got a knack for for music. Would you be so kind as to come down here and show this rabble how Ode to the Earthbound is done.”

“Blueblood can sing?” Flash blurted out.

The prince gave a noise that was some kind of half-chuckle, half-whimper. “Quite well actually. How do you think I seduced so many mares?”

“Of course.” Cotton said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Okay, guys, new plan. We help the duke, then we vacate. If the gryphon lady makes a move, I taze her.”

“That sounds like a horrible plan.” Blueblood said, blunt as a club.

Defeated, the prince and his guards trotted their way down the stairs, gaining a few interested glanced from the other ponies and gryphons, who were blissfully ignorant to what could unfold in the coming minutes. Lucky bastards.

Clippity clop. Their steel horseshoes made hollow sounds as they clashed with the stone stairs, the echo seeming to fill the pregnant silence. Why had it become so quiet all of a sudden? Where had the calls of the birds and the screech of the monkies gone? This place was normally abuzz with such hustle and bustle. When did the jungle become quiet as a graveyard?

The bride, a gryphon chick with a sickly olive green tint to her feathers - she was staring hard. She made no attempt to hide her sudden fascination. Her chocolate eyes, burning with a great fire behind them, were locked on the prince the entire time, unblinking, ignorant to anything else.

Flash could only swallow the dry crackers in his throat and hope that his heart didn’t break his ribs beating against his chest at such a rate. He couldn’t help but brush a hoof against the hilt of his sword every few steps, ensuring himself each time that it was indeed still there, at the ready what whatever was to come.

“Now then, what was it the choir was having trouble with, hmm?” Blueblood asked, his voice didn’t even reflect how he felt inside. It was as if nothing was about to happen.

“It seems they’ve harmonized with each other perfectly,” the princess spoke up, still not averting her gaze “but our poor altos seem to have a bit of trouble with the timing.”

Every word of hers was practically dripping with sultry tones.

A single bead of sweat appeared on the back of the prince’s neck. “Ah, Princess Moyra, it’s been some time since we’ve last met, hasn’t it?”

“Mmm, it has.” Her stare had softened a little, her eyes had dropped to being half-lidded.

Blueblood cleared his throat and directed his attention to the choir. “Anyhow, let me hear the part you all are having issue with.”

They began to sing some old hymn that Flash recognized from the days when even he was a foal. It was tuned out instantly when the still unnamed prince pulled Moyra aside and spoke in hushed, yet frantic tones- casting an aside glance at the prince between sentences.

He felt a twinge of alarm in his gut. Something wasn’t right. Xander and Cotton needed only to exchange knowing looks to confirm that the feeling was shared amongst them. Cooperating wordlessly, the three spread out their formation a little, making sure that each of them stood close to the prince, but not so close as to make their alarm too obvious.

“Ah!” Blueblood said, making everyone that wasn't oblivious to the situation tense their muscles. “I see what you are doing here. Some of you are going a bit too rock and roll on the bridge. You, you, and you: try slowing down for the others instead of expecting them to keep up with your tempo. Remember that the song won’t last the whole ceremony, you have to give the happy couple as much time as possible to do their stroll down the aisles, right?”

“Yes, yes, excellent!” the duke beamed at the prince. “Thank, you, my friend. Let’s try this from the top. On my mark...”

As Blueblood turned his attention away from the choir, he regarded the princess with a curt nod. “Now, it has been wonderful meeting you, however briefly, but my guards and I be going. So much tourism to be done in the little time we have here.”

“Well that’s no good!” Moyra whined. “I needed the opinion of somepony with good taste some of my, ah... ceremonial accessories. Yes! You know it’s bad fortune to allow Prince Gabriel to see such things before the wedding.”

She fluttered her eyelashes at the prince like she was in the middle of a sandstorm, her fiance standing aside with a dull look on his face.

Celestia’s flanks, Blueblood’s poker face was the stuff of legends.

“Thank you, but I have no eye for the more feminine side of wedding garbs. Now we should be-”

“No, you’re perfectly fine for the job. If you would just follow me backstage, it would only take a moment of your time.” she pleaded with him a little too hard.

A brief pause.

“Perhaps, without the guards?” She shot a glare at the three. “I’m a bit uncomfortable with them staring at me like that.”

Nope!  Flash screamed internally. If this isn’t a trap, then I’m a rutting unicorn wizard from the moon.

“I’m sorry.” Cotton cut in with uncharacteristic politeness. “Due to recent anonymous threats on the royal family, we’ve been ordered to not leave His Grace’s presence for any reason.”

Xander smirked.

“How convenient.” the princesses quipped.

“Will we be escorting you to your hotel room, My Prince?” Flash asked.

“Yes, you will.” Blueblood said with… was that a smirk? A faint ghost of a smile. He turned his back and trotted off toward the exit, the corps following closely behind.

Xander turned his head for a split second and offered the bride and groom a friendly wave goodbye.

Prince Gabriel, son of Horatio and heir to the throne of Maretonia, stood by his wife-to-be and waved back at the funny zebra guard.

“Later, dudes!”

Princess Moyra bit her tongue so hard it nearly drew blood.

“Man, that Blueblood guy didn’t seem like the total dick you always said he was.” Gabriel said, offering her a playful nudge in the shoulder. “He seemed downright okay to me. But kind of a flamer, you know? All that shiny stuff on his jacket.”

“Yes yes, all to true. But remember that you never were a good judge of character, dear.” Moyra replied in an icy tone.

He shrugged. “Right on. I just don’t see why you want him to... y’know-” The prince slid a hoof over his throat, rolling back his eyes and sticking his tongue out comically “-take a dirt nap.”

“Royal wedding, take three!” Duke Horacio merrily declared.

“Well, sweetie, that’s my own business, and not yours. So it’d be best to not ask so many questions.”

He stared at Moyra with an empty face, caught in a serious case of brain lock. “‘Kay. Whatevs.”

The two turned away and headed back to their respective positions.

“If you’re not careful, you’ll end up napping with him too…my love.” Moyra spat out the last two words like they were acid, just as the prince was out of earshot.