• Member Since 29th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen January 22nd

Ivory Piano


Luna had spent a long, lonely millennium on the moon. Now back on Equestria, she is appalled to find out that Celestia has disbanded the royal harem. To reestablish this venerated tradition, Luna must choose a head concubine. However, her first choice might need a bit more convincing than she would have first thought.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

Either Mac knew beforehand that he was able to be so casual with Luna, or he risked a lot when he knew she wasn't really in the modern mindset yet.

Either way, it worked. And it was a sweet and amusing read.

And that end! What a way to break the mold, huh :rainbowlaugh:

Nothing as profound as the sage words of a down to earth farmer...though I'm surprised that Big Mac agreed to help Luna with the 'baron's creation.


I was not expecting this sort of fic from you Ivory. That said, this was a wonderful read. You got several laughs out of me.


The hundreds of stars glinting high above them, her moon shining down to illuminate them. The small flowers, almost as numerous as the stars, adorning the apple trees, and the large, red stallion offering her a kind smile. Is this what she had been missing.

At the very end there, I think you want a question mark.

Big Mac has certainly got some balls. :eeyup:

Wow, this story was awesome. I really like how down to earth Big Mac acts around the bombastic and dominant Luna. It was also sweet to see how Big Mac convince her to appreciate his farm life and his reasons for not wanting to be taken away. I also laughed at the prank that Luna did to Celestia to keep her from relieving herself. Still, I wonder about the ending. Did she made a dildo or a replica of Big Mac at the end and named it Baron Red Quake

ANOTHER story featuring Big Mac from Ivory Piano, author of one of my all time favorite fics "Slice of Life"... this time as a LunaMac ship?!
... I think I am getting the vapors!

Luna wouldn't have gone to him if he didn't. Well...maybe not.

7435442 To use a turn of phrase from an old, old, OLD pony comedy fic called "Messing With Celestia" by an author named Friendly Uncle, Luna indeed made "a large rubber device of an intimate nature" using Big Mac as the "model". :raritywink:

Ahhhh yes!! A LunaMac story (sort of). I love these two shipped together but even just in friendship, they have a wonderful dynamic. Beautifully done as well, the emotions and dialogue was well written and pacing was flawless. I'd thumbs up 10 times if I could!!

Princess Cadence has told us of a marvelous breakthrough in magic: the parental magic lock.

Congratulations on breaking the speed record from "words read" to "canon accepted."

Well, this is promising!
Jumped hard and fast into the LunaMac here, but I really liked how you played it off as a part of Luna's character. I really like this sort of portrayal, with a devil-may-care attitude and a simmering dark side.
I am forced to assume that Big Mac got some action in order for Luna to make her "substitute concubine." Good for him!

Marked complete? Damn, genuinely dissappointed, I really enjoyed this story and wish it would continue.

Oh well, I'll be thankful for what I got.

I'm happy to see this revised and posted! This was one of my favorite entries from the write-off, and it's good to see it getting the love it deserves. Thanks for the laughs.

This was one of my favourites from the writeoff. I'm glad Posh caught it and added it to the folders so I could like and fave!

7438451 a true true friend helps a friend in need, a friend will be there to help them see...

I have not laughed so hard in a long time. If i could i would give this three or four favorites. Nevertheless it is definitely upvoted as well. Luna was portrayed brilliantly and that portrayal had me holding my ribs in mirth. Please write more along this same line in the future. Huzzah!

Beautiful work. Leave it to Big Mac to show her a thing or two.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Comment posted by SiggiPlaysFIMFIC deleted Jul 30th, 2016

Already very good in the Writeoffs, and even better with the edits. Hoping to see more from you (there and here). :twilightsmile:

She should have asked me. I would have accepted gladly.

m8 can I haz sequel? plz?
great and funny story

Celestia stared at the closed door. “Wait, Luna!” She bolted after her. “Lift the lock or I swear I’ll imprison the baron for embezzling from the royal treasury!”

AKA 'Plundering the Royal Booty'

Don't you just hate it when your sister steals your groove?
"I'm sorry, but you stole Princess Luna's groove."

"To serve us," Luna said. "To come to our every beck and call, and to stand silent while looking scrumptious. Our concubines are not only used for sex, but are also trained to be exceptional servants, and for their service they are richly paid with everything a pony requires to live comfortably."

“It has been...difficult adjusting to living in Equestria again. There are still ponies that regard me with such fear in their eyes. I suppose I had hoped that my head concubine, through knowing me intimately, may consider me good company both in and out of the bedroom. Then, perhaps, I wouldn’t feel so lonely.”

Seems Luna never realized how very different these two things were.

You did a wonderful job on this. Faved! :twilightsmile:

Very good! Very funny and very touching as well. I know it's likely contrary to the point, but could you perhaps write a story about royal concubines set in the past?

This definitely needs a follow up. The premise is too delightful to just drop.

More please! :rainbowwild:

For anyone confused how this ends or doesn't seem to end like I was, after a little research here is some explanation time.
1) Alginate to take a negative mold of Big Mac's schlong
2) Silicone (rubber) to make the dildo. (Not latex, apparently porous and can harbour germs)
3) Bit of red dye to match Mac, hence Baron Red Quake. As for embezzling from the royal treasury,that would only be Luna's treasures:derpytongue2:.

...Is it wrong for me to imagine that somepony eventually found out about Baron Red Quake and made a whole bunch of copies of it and marketed them with the slogan "Princess Approved"?

...And leading to awkward conversations with Big Mac and Luna?

That last segment made me smile for some reason.

"We understand, thou are keeping them for thine own pleasure. Very well, enjoy thy toys."
Luna rolled her eyes. "Forgive us, we had forgotten your proclivities. Enjoy being their toy then, sister."

:rainbowderp: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowwild:

"Upon our sister's recommendation, we have come to groom thee for the position of head concubine and first seed of the royal harem. It is good to know that our sister's eye for stallions has not dulled over the millennium," Luna said.

:eeyup: "Thanks, Celestia."
:trollestia:: "It was me a pleasure."

"It was cold and lonely, with nothing but the festering desire for revenge to keep me company," Luna said. She took a sip of water. "But other than that it was quite lovely."

*with Fluttershy's voice*
"That's um... nice?"

Quick question: What password did Luna choose for thechild safety lock?
And will Celestia ever figure it out?

Unexpectedly cute.

Comment posted by dbg345 deleted Apr 24th, 2018
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