The nobles of Canterlot are up to their old schemes again. Trying desperately to elevate themselves from mere nobles to that of royalty, the high council begins to pressure both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna into marriage. There is only one problem the two sisters face. As the law of old states, only a pony of nobility or foreign dignitary may be eligible to wed either of the princesses. The two sisters must now find a suitable candidate willing to adhere to the balance of power they had so desperately fought to maintain, or lose their right to rule.
Luckily, there seems to be a certain somebody that meets the strict criteria and who would also not abuse his position as royal consort to the Moon and Sun. Now, if only there was a way to convince him.

((I know I am terrible at writing synopsis, but please don't let that dissuade you from giving my story a chance. Rated T for light cussing, teasing, flirtatious mares, and provocative situations. May change later on depending on how I feel and the input from the readers.))

Update: I finally got a beautiful cover art for the story! It looks so freaking amazing and I am super happy with how it turned out. The artist is super talented and you should all go view her stuff and maybe even commission something from her! I literally can't justify how amazing this picture is!
Artist: Cotton
Thank you all so much for your feedback and support! Because of you all I was featured! *happy pony noises*
Featured
1/20/17
2/02/17
12/05/17

Kenny has escorted many of his coworkers to the Conversion Bureau, but he seems strangely reticent. Recognizing someone who has seem too much and gone too far, Twilight Sparkle wants to offer him a happier life. But he has a secret, one that most Equestrians haven't considered.

A human finds himself in Equestria under very unpleasant circumstances with no explanation.
His reaction: get the heck out of Dodge and start a new life where Equestria and her ponies can't reach him.
But an alicorn's reach is long and the events which brought him here and his treatment in Canterlot are not so easily forgotten by those who did it. How does one say 'go away' to an immortal goddess?

Yay! Featured, thank you all.
A TV Tropes page
Revised 08/31/14 for clarity and grammatical issues, no events changed. I am working on a sequel, but it will be from Fancy's POV.
P.S. Green is NOT Lyra. There are other green unicorns.

"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

I still can't believe it all started with a family camping trip gone wrong. One moment I was enjoying my time with my parents and brothers, then next thing I knew I was stranded on a world full of magic and mythological creatures. In one day, I went from worrying about the upcoming calculus test to worrying about my next meal. I remember how the only thing keeping me going was the hope that I might find a way home. Little did I know that some deities had other plans in store for me.

I remember all the promises I made, both those kept and betrayed. I remember the friends I made on my little adventure; the same friends I threw away when everything came crashing down. Oh, the memories I made... Oh, the memories I am now forever cursed to remember.

I suppose this is a just punishment. My only regret is that my friends may never hear my side of the story.

Set between Seasons 2 and 3 // Some deviations from canon post-season 2 due to when this was originally started.

Pre-read, Cover art, and Audio Reading provided by: Skijarama

"Hey, hot shot! You know me, right? Of course you do! Who doesn't know of the amazing Eddy? So, anyways...I had this great scam all figured out, right? It was the best scam ever, I tell ya! But then something went wrong - probably monobrow's fault, as usual - and now we're stuck in this weirdo land with these even weirder talking rainbow-coloured horses. Great. Still, I guess it's not all bad. New people - or ponies, whatever - means new suckers to fleece, and more money for me! Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm just looking out for my friends, that's all - who says I can't make a little money on the side, eh? Besides, sockhead will probably figure out a way to get us home in no time! What's the worst that could happen before then, huh?"

(Crossover with Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy. In the canon of this story, the events of Season 3 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic have never happened. The events of Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy's Big Picture Show have never happened, either.)

In Equestria, humans serve the ruling pony class. Their lack of magic makes it near impossible to survive on their own, and so they depend on their rulers to protect and help them, and put a roof over their heads. But on Earth, and in many other solar systems, their strength is the pinnacle of hope, as they assist those they can in their frantic search for the ones who came before.

Near the edge of the humans' empire, The USSF Monarch stumbles upon Pony kind on Tango 126, one of the many targets during their hunt for the Precursors. Their curiosity is peaked, and John Punch, a high ranking Elite, is sent in disguised as one of the many Human occupants on the planet, to learn of their culture, and the Precursors' presence on this planet.

Now the respected veteran must face the social challenges of being thrust into a gender reversed, pony dominated society.

A collection of short stories that make light of cultural differences and misinterpretations between species. Shit gets hella awkward, yo.

I'm so sorry, Anon...

My name is Aran, and I have lived in Equestria for almost a year now. I don't remember how I arrived to Equestria, but I can never forget what happened when I arrived. Vivisection, the betrayal of trust, and speciesism. This is my story of how the so-called paradise was turned into a prison with only one way out.

Editor: Isaac3924
Editor: Zyrian
Art-cover: Sonson-Sensei

After committing a series of crimes that he may or may not have actually done, Bob is turned into a statue, sentenced to fours days of endless nightmares...

If you can call watching ponies doing weird, gross, adorable, and uncalled for things to each other nightmarish.

Which Bob does...

Warning:

Contains inappropriate jokes, statue humor, science, fo-dangales, and polly-winks.

A fic in which I'm surprised that no ones ever done :/