• Published 9th Sep 2012
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Human Nature - Blank Page



Torn from his world and thrust into another, Hunter Grey struggles to survive in the alien land of Equestria.

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Act II: The Princess of the Night

Sapphire Shores sang a sweet melody from the phonograph in the living room as I scoured the kitchen for something to eat. My bare feet couldn’t help but tap to the tune as I looked through the cupboard. Bread, chips, peanut butter, flowers… My stomach grumbled, and I agreed with it; a sandwich sounded amazing right now.

I moved to the fridge in search of jelly, a slight spring in my step as Sapphire broke into her chorus. I realized how few pop songs I had listened to when I was home. The only time I ever listened to the radio was whenever I was in a friend’s car, and she seemed to know them all by heart. Still, it was easy to see why this album had become so popular here, even if it was ‘alien’, I thought with a chuckle. Like back at home, the tune was catchy and already worming into my mind, and Bon-Bon had played this particular record enough for me to have learned most of the words. If it wasn’t for my own self-control, I might have sung along with the music. Then again… I did have the house to myself at the moment, and the tune was pretty catchy.

As usual, Bon-Bon had left early for work at one of Ponyville’s many sweet shops. I swore, sugar must have been part of the ponies’ food pyramid from how much business she supposedly had. Lyra was out running errands, to include a personal favor of mine.

When we woke up after the party, I quickly realized just how messy of a situation I had found myself. We were both covered nearly head to toe in icing and cake and filling. For her, removing the stains was as simple as taking a shower, albeit a very long one. I, however, had it caked into my clothes as well as my hair, and it was far worse than the bed top. The time I had feared was upon me, and I was so ill prepared. My clothes needed to be washed.

It was my own paradox of modesty. As much as I hated the stench of the Everfree that clung to them, I had nothing else to change into while they were being cleaned, and Bon-Bon didn’t have a personal washing machine to allow me to stay outside of the public eye without any spare clothes.

Thankfully, Lyra said she knew somebody, and while I took my shower, I set my clothes to the side and let her take them away to be cleaned and, hopefully, stitched up. That was a few hours ago. I wasn’t certain how long it would take to clean them, and it didn’t help that Lyra couldn’t fully grasp the necessity between humans and clothes. I very well could have been stuck in the house all day.

I supposed it wasn’t such a horrible thing though, all things considered. After a very eventful yesterday, I needed something of a lazy day to unwind. Besides, no real plans were being missed today. Job hunting could easily be picked back up tomorrow, and for my daily check-ins with the mayor, I was certain that even she was having a late start to her morning, her workplace having been used to stage last night’s fiasco.

Now, freshly cleaned from the shower and with a towel wrapped tightly around my waist, my hunger and boredom led me to the kitchen after setting a record to fill the silence. I eventually gave in to music, starting with a small, slightly off-key hum that quickly evolved into full singing as my confidence grew. I moved through the kitchen with a spring in my step to match the beat, and even as I put the finishing touches on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, my feet still tapped along. I twirled on my heel to enter the dining room, just in time for Sapphire to reach the last chorus.

“Ey! Just gotta spread your wings and— Bon-Bon!

I yelped in surprise and nearly dropped my lunch as my secret audience revealed herself. She couldn’t contain herself any longer. Bon-Bon’s poorly contained grin broke into hysterical laughter, and she collapsed to the floor and rolled away from the living room doorway she was using as cover.

Hun-Hunter?” she cackled loudly. “What were you doing?!

I could feel the blood rushing to my face, and I moved behind the counter in a poor attempt to hide away. “What are you doing here?” I demanded, but my desperate tone only fueled her laughter.

“I live here!” she pointed out through her giggling. She calmed down a hair, if only for a second. Her eyes glanced downwards before meeting mine again, and she threw an accusing hoof and burst into another fit. “Why are you wearing a dress?!”

“It’s a towel!” I shot back to defend myself.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she wheezed as she climbed back up to her hooves. Bon-Bon fell onto the doorway for support and leaned in closer to me. “Let me rephrase that, then. Why are you wearing a towel as a dress?”

I ran my head into the counter, and my fingers combed through my hair. “Oh my God,” I groaned under my breath. As the record reached its end, Sapphire left me to fend for myself, and only Bon-Bon’s dying giggles filled the air. Despite my burning face, I dared to look up pleadingly to the mare. “How much did you see?” I asked desperately.

“Oh, more than enough,” she snickered. “But don’t let me stop you from… oh, what was it you were singing?” She shook her hips teasingly. “‘Dance like nopony’s watching?’”

So, for a while. I buried my face back into the granite countertop and scrunched my eyes, hoping that by sheer force of will I would be anywhere but here. “What are you even doing here?” I whined. “You don’t get off work until five.”

“I’m on my lunch break,” Bon-Bon explained, wiping a tear away from her eyes. “I was going to go out to eat, but… Oh, Celestia, I’m so glad I came here instead.” She burst into another short fit of giggles and entered the dining room, making her way to the kitchen.

I grumbled beneath my breath and slid my sandwich across the countertop to her. “Might as well take my lunch,” I offered. “Kinda lost my appetite with the rest of my dignity.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Bon-Bon teased. I stood back up and tightened the towel around my waist as she entered the kitchen with me. “I didn’t mean to stare; I just haven’t seen you like this before.”

“What, half-naked and singing in your kitchen?” I asked as she opened the fridge.

“I meant happy,” she said with a smile. “It’s a nice change; refreshing, almost.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I challenged. “I’ve been in a good mood around you before.”

Bon-Bon shook her head and chuckled. “Not like this. You’ve come a long way out of your shell from when we first met.” She paused and looked up to me, almost embarrassedly. “Although, I suppose I wasn’t much help with that, was I?”

I snorted. “Yeah, what was the first thing you said to me?” I cleared my throat and gave my best impression, “‘Help! The monster is in my house!’”

An open napkin flew into my face, cutting me off. I snatched it away with a hand and found Bon-Bon giving me a playful smirk. “Cut it out, I’m trying to apologize to you.” I smiled and reached for my sandwich, taking a bite to leave the stage open for her. She shook her head and looked off to the side with a fading grin, and a heavy sigh escaped her.

“I know I’ve been a little… cold to you since you first showed up,” she finally said, rubbing a hoof against her foreleg. “It wasn’t anything against you, or it wasn’t intentionally. I mean…” She sighed again as she failed to find the right words. “Lyra’s a very compassionate mare, but she’s also very compulsive,” Bon-Bon explained, looking up to me. “Somepony has to watch out for her; Celestia knows she won’t. With all the rumors I had heard around town, I was very… suspicious about you, and worried for her.

“I’m glad I was wrong about you, though,” she smiled. “And I’m sorry I was to begin with. I should have taken Lyra’s advice and gotten to know you rather than listen to everypony who hadn’t; because just a few minutes ago, I could have mistaken you for any other pony in town. Some days it’s hard to tell if Lyra’s rubbing off on you or if that’s just the kind of pony you already were.” She caught what she said and chuckled, “Well, in a manner of speaking.”

“I… wow.” I set the half-eaten sandwich back down and leaned against the counter, almost at a loss for words. “Thanks, Bon-Bon, that… I really appreciated that.”

A brief moment passed, and I drummed my fingers against the countertop, wondering if I should press my luck. “So… I don’t suppose this means you won’t be telling Lyra about that little… thing earlier?”

Bon-Bon’s composure broke with a snort. “Oh no, I am so telling her.”

“Come on,” I groaned. “I really don’t think she needs the extra ammunition against me right now. Please don’t tell Lyra.”

“Don’t tell Lyra what?”

My tongue got caught in my throat. I looked up to find Lyra standing in the doorway to the dining room, my clothes resting on her back. She paused when she saw me, and her confusion quickly morphed to twisted glee. She brought up a hoof to cover her snickering face.

“Hunter?” Her voice had more control than it had any right to. “Why are you wearing a dress?”

“Oh, for chrissake, it’s a towel!

<><><>

I had never been more thankful to have been raised with brothers. My face was still burning from embarrassment, even as the cool autumn breeze brushed against it as I walked through Ponyville. Apparently, the mayor was looking for me, and as soon as Lyra told me, I took the chance to throw on my clothes and get out of the house and away from the humiliation. But as much as I wanted to pull back the clock and save myself from the embarrassment, a small part of me couldn’t help but laugh with them, too.

The walk to the town hall was always long. It was only a few minutes away from Lyra and Bon-Bon’s house, but the stares from passing ponies always seemed to make it drag out longer. But today felt different.

Eyes still lingered on me from time to time as I walked through town, but they weren’t of their usual, distrustful nature. Some of them came with a smile, a small warmth to help chase away the cool breeze. A couple even waved as I passed by, familiar strangers I thought I recognized from last night. I sheepishly returned it, after looking to make sure it was me they were waving too. They chuckled with each other, but somehow a part of me knew it wasn’t meant to scorn.

I paused halfway across the bridge to the town square and took in a refreshing breath. The town hall waited patiently at the other end. It was still early in the afternoon, and many ponies were milling about. My presence earned second glances from most of them, but that was the end of it. There were no suddenly hushed conversations paired with the cursory glances; no one hurried along at the sight of me. It was as if I wasn’t the Beast of the Everfree in their eyes… and since last night, for the first time they weren’t the town that wanted me dead in mine. Everything felt so… normal.

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought, but the more I dwelled on it, the more something gnawed deep inside. As I watched the ponies go about their lives, my soft grin started to fade. This wasn’t really normal, was it? Normal was home. Normal was with actual people, with friends, with family. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, the truth was always glaring me in the eye.

I blinked and wiped my hand across my brow, and my eyes lingered on the film of sweat it collected. Where did that come from?

I tried to shake my head from the thought, but it lingered with me as I continued down the bridge. My mind kept wandering home. Was my family doing the same as me; pretending everything was normal, hoping that someday it really would be? It almost felt unfair being here, in the relative safety and peace of this town. They probably thought I was dead, and I was stuck here while they were all worried sick.

Oh God, what was I doing to them?

I had the handle to the town hall’s front door clutched in a death grip as it barred my path. My heart felt as though it was skipping a beat. I took in a breath and slowly pushed it out, forcing these thoughts back wherever they came from. Any day now, I told myself. Any day now, and the Princess would return with good news. Any day now, and I would be back home, and it would be like nothing had ever happened.

My grip around the handle slackened as I calmed myself down, and I started thinking about what waited for me on the other side. A part of me hoped that this meeting with the mayor wouldn’t be as mundane as Lyra made it out to be; I needed something to keep my mind occupied for a while. I took in one more breath to recompose myself and pulled open the doors.

I wanted to say the first thing I noticed was how clean the atrium was or how the mayor was already there as opposed to her office, but it was the company she had with her that stole my attention. Two stallions, clad in dark armor, one of which had featherless wings much unlike normal pegasi. They tensed when they saw me, but I couldn’t blame them; old habits were resurfacing for me as well. One of the strangers stood above them all, quite literally as well.

She was tall, maybe only a head shorter than me, and had both wings and a horn. Ornate, silver shoes covered her hooves, and a large, black necklace clung to her neck, depicting a crescent moon. Spots of silver peppered her deep blue mane, and it moved to a nonexistent breeze, giving it the appearance of a living galaxy of stars. I couldn’t help but remember the last creature that looked the same. Her teal eyes locked on to mine, and her soft smile faded away as whatever conversation I walked into quickly died off.

The mayor was gracious enough to break the silence before it drug on.

“Ah, Hunter, I wasn’t expecting you so soon,” she chirped.

“I, um…” I tore my eyes away from the taller mare. “I heard you were looking for me,” I explained. My eyes flickered back. “But, um, it looks like you’re busy. I can come back another time.”

“No, stay; we insist. We were just speaking of you,” the stranger explained with a silvery voice. “My sister sends her apologies. She meant to be here herself, but her duties called her elsewhere, and she sent me in her stead.” The guards relaxed at her tone, but it only left me with questions.

“Your… sister?” I asked.

“Oh, you don’t know,” the mayor said absently, as though something just dawned on her. She quickly shook her head and smiled. “No, of course you probably wouldn’t. Allow me to introduce you. Hunter, this is Princess Luna, Celestia’s younger sister and Princess of the Night.”

The Princess looked up to me and nodded her head. “A pleasure,” she smiled. “My sister has spoken much of you.”

My words were caught in my throat as my mind reeled. How did I not notice that crown? I scolded myself, finally seeing the small black tiara nestled between her horn and mane. “I, um, Princess— I mean, Your Highness, I didn’t mean… I didn’t realize that—”

“Ah, there’s the silver tongue my sister warned me of,” the Princess said teasingly. “I was wondering if I would have a chance to hear it.”

“Oh, she’s got jokes,” I chuckled painfully to myself. Her guards snickered over my stammering, and I took a step back and looked away, hoping to hide some of my embarrassment. “I don’t suppose the Princess— I mean, your sister had any more to say about me other than that?” I asked hopefully.

She chuckled, but it quickly died with her soft grin. “Yes, she has,” the princess said more solemnly. “She told me of your plight since you first arrived… and I cannot apologize enough.”

“Please, don’t,” I cut in, holding up a hand. “You had nothing to do with it.”

“All the same, you have my sympathies,” she assured me. “I know it can be… difficult integrating into a new culture. It was a pleasant surprise to see the progress you have made. Unfortunately, I wish my sister sent me with better tidings. The search for your home is still ongoing. Our finest have already combed through half of the forest, if the reports are true. My sister suspects it won’t be long now until we find your home.”

What a pleasant way to say they can’t find anything, a voice rattled in my head.

I fidgeted uncomfortably but managed to force a gracious smile. “Thank you. I’m sure they’re doing everything they can,” I added, more so to my own little interloper. I retreated back a small step. If there was about to have another mental argument, I didn’t want it to be here. “Was that all you needed me for?”

“There was one more thing we wanted to discuss,” the mayor said. “Have you heard of Nightmare Night yet?”

I frowned. “Um, yeah, once or twice in passing with my friends. I’m not too certain what it is, though. It’s a holiday, right?”

“That’s correct!” she chirped happily. “It’s one of our most popular celebrations, as a matter of fact. For hundreds of years, we’ve celebrated it to…” Her words trailed, and she glanced to Princess Luna, looking somewhat embarrassed. “Um…”

“To celebrate,” Princess Luna cut in quickly. “And to have fun! We’d hate to bore you with the history of it, truly.” Why did it sound like that last bit wasn’t directed to me?

The mayor coughed into her hoof. “Of course, Princess. But in case you haven’t heard yet, Hunter, it’s a night where ponies dress in disguises and give candy to the foals. I’m sure that must sound like a strange tradition to an outsider like yourself.”

I blinked. The similarities this holiday had with another back home was surreal. “Not necessarily,” I shook my head.

“That is pleasant to hear,” Princess Luna smiled. “We were hoping you would like to partake in the festivities.”

“As a chaperone to one of the attractions,” the mayor added. “The haunted wagon ride, specifically.”

‘Haunted’? You want me to be a part of an attraction meant to scare people?” I frowned. “Doesn’t that sound a little… counterproductive?”

“On the contrary, ponies like being frightened on this night,” the Princess offered with a smile. “They think it’s fun!”

“Princess Luna and I were discussing the possibility before you walked in and agreed it would be a wonderful opportunity to get you involved in some of our local traditions before you leave. That, and we were hoping your expertise would make everypony feel more comfortable.”

I held up my hands to slow her down. “Hey, with all due respect, I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’ve never chaperoned a haunted hay ride before.”

“What? Oh, no, not that,” the mayor chuckled. “I was referring more towards your experience with the Everfree Forest. The path of the haunted ride traditionally goes through a small section of it. It would be nice if—”

“No.” My blood ran cold at the first mention of the forest. My jaw had only just then unclamped itself. “Look, if you want my technical expertise about that forest, just… just stay away from it. Nothing in there is worth the trouble.”

Not even home?

I shuddered. You know that’s not what I meant, I bit back.

The mayor looked disappointed. “Hunter, I am aware that you probably don’t have the best of memories there, but I can assure you, this section is well trodden and has been used for this very attraction for as long as I can remember. If ever there was a safe area of the Everfree, this would be it.”

“Should it ease your troubled mind, I would send some of my guards to ensure its safety,” Princess Luna assured me. The guards behind her didn’t appear too enthused about the idea, but they did not make any complaints. My head was still reeling, looking for any excuse to weasel my way out of this politely.

“There has to be someone more suited for this than me,” I tried to reason. “Zecora.”

“She has already agreed to be a chaperone as well,” the mayor nodded.

“Along with two other capable mares,” Princess Luna added. “Not to mention myself.”

“All you would have to do is drive them a short distance into the forest with Macintosh, drop the foals off in a designated spot, and return with the wagon,” the mayor continued. “The other chaperones will lead the foals back on hoof through the haunted maze we have already set up.”

I fidgeted uncomfortably on the spot as they searched for an answer. I wanted to say no; I really did, but it felt like I was outnumbered, and the authority of the Princess’ crown was overwhelming. A part of me felt it wouldn’t be wise to refuse a request of one of the leaders of the kingdom that took me in, either.

My hand shot up to cover my mouth to keep me from saying anything I wasn’t fully committed to. My eyes darted over to the guards behind Princess Luna, and I remembered the ones that accompanied her sister. If one of their princesses was going to partake in the attraction, surely they would do everything in their power to ensure her safety. The thought did give me a small comfort. With Zecora there as well…

I let my hand fall as I took in a deep breath and sighed it out. “Sure. I mean— Yes, Your Highness, I can help with it.”

The mayor appeared relieved, and a smile graced the Princess’ face. She extended a wing out to me; the feather tips lightly brushed against my shoulder.

“Thank you, Hunter Grey. I can tell that this is not a decision you made lightly,” Princess Luna noted. “Again, I would like to assure you that your safety is of the utmost importance to me, as is your enjoyment of the festivities.” Her wing retracted back to her side, and she stood a little taller. “Until then, I will bid you a good day. The mayor and I still have much to discuss of the celebration. Should I hear of any developments of your home, I shall send for you personally.”

“Feel free to come by tomorrow if you want to continue our little meetings, Hunter,” the mayor added. “Nightmare Night won’t be for another week, but if you would like to help with decorations, I might have some jobs for you.”

“I… Of course,” I stammered. With an awkward bow to the Princess, I retreated to the front doors of the town hall, trying desperately to keep a modest pace in spite of the beating drum in my chest. Maybe I was just in desperate need of fresh air.

I pushed the door open and gasped for breath. The pounding in my ears wouldn’t silence. My gaze was lured towards the Everfree Forest. Though half of the town obscured it from view, I could still feel its presence, like a thorn stuck in my side. I could feel it crawling toward me, or was something in me crawling towards it?

My eyes screwed shut, and I forced myself to breathe. Slowly, ever so slowly, the cadence began to fade. I was safe, and I was going to be safe. When I opened my eyes, I found myself far away from the manticores and the hydras and the timberwolves, though there were a few curious stares from the ponies. I took in a deep breath and released it with a snort. Overthinking was going to be the death of me.

As I turned and walked away, a voice whispered in my ear.

Home is calling us, Hunter.