Fluttershy?
“Alright Angel, I’m going to the market to pick up some groceries. You behave, now. I don’t want to hear any more complaints from Miss Fluffybuns about you trying any funny business with her. Do you understand, mister?” The little bunny just harumphs and crosses his arms, looking away and pouting adorably. “If you’re good while I’m gone, I’ll make you your favorite carrot juice and kale smoothie.”
That seems to get his attention, and he excitedly jumps onto your neck, hugging you and snuggling himself into your mane.
“That’s right, Angel. You be good while I’m gone. I’ll be back soon.”
The mischievous little rabbit hops down and sits near the doorway, smiling sweetly and waving as you make your way outside. You shut the door and lock it behind you, more for everypony else’s protection rather than your own. If some poor unsuspecting pony opened your door, they would be greeted by a very grumpy grizzly. Not something you want to deal with… again. You’re still having nightmares about the last time that happened, and poor Mr. Bear was comatose for days after that look you gave him. Cleaning up the mess was the worst part… But enough of that, time to get the day’s errands started.
The sun is shining, the weather is perfect, and you’ve got a purse full of government-supplied bits to feed all your little fatherless babies. Time to head to the market and pick up all the supplies you’ll need for the week! You make your way down the well-worn cobblestone path that connects your cottage to the main road leading to Ponyville Square, stopping frequently to take in the sights and smells.
Scattered groups of ponies travel up and down the road, no doubt tending to their busy lives and making the most of the beautiful day. Finally, you see the market in the distance, the growing sound of a bustling crowd greeting you as you approach. The square is completely packed with carts and ponies roaming the streets, barely leaving enough room to make your way through the herd.
For a few moments, you consider turning back and leaving until the crowd thins out, but the last time you waited, there was nothing left to buy. Fortunately, being a pegasus has its advantages. With a bird’s-eye view of the crowd, you’re able to get a good assessment of the market, despite the chaos.
Speaking of which, I wonder what Discord is up to. Hope he’s not causing any trouble. I swear, if he keeps me from getting these groceries… Well, It looks like the carrot stand is going to take a while. And the apple stand. And the vegetable stand… There are so many ponies out today, I’ll never be able to get everything we need! Oh, it’s just awful!
As you circle the airspace above the market, you can see a small and relatively unoccupied section of carts and tables with various goods and foodstuffs. Perfect! You begin your descent, slowly corkscrewing your way down to the desolate area of the market. As you get closer, it becomes more obvious why that particular area is so unpopular.
Poor Anon… You’ve heard all sorts of rumors about him, some downright mean. You even heard a few ponies talking about how he was… touching Rainbow Dash’s wings. There’s no way she would let him do something like that, so you know it can’t be true.
You hate it when ponies mistreat others just because they’re different. Ooh, you get so frustrated sometimes that you just want to tell everypony to stop being such big meanies! You’re going to go down there and do something to let him know that not all ponies are so inconsiderate. A gentle clop echoes off the wall as your hooves meet the cobblestone, the sound alerting Anon to your presence. You take a deep breath and prepare yourself for something that you’ve always found extremely uncomfortable: making conversation.
“Um… Hi, Anon. It sure is a pretty day.”
“Hello there, Fluttershy! It definitely is a beautiful day.”
“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you in the market, Anon. I didn’t know you had a stand here.”
“Well, Twilight suggested that I set up in the market. She says that it’ll help the ponies get used to me if they see me taking part in the community. It seems like a good idea, but I’ve been out here since eight o’clock and I’ve not made a single sale.”
“Well, I wanted to come and see you, since… you know, nopony else seems to be around. I would hate for you to get the wrong impression of us. You’re a new member of our town, I want to make sure you feel welcome. Not all ponies treat people poorly just because they’re different than us.”
“Well, thank you, Fluttershy. It’s… really nice just to have somebody visit my stand.” A friendly smile spreads across his face. At least, it seems friendly, but you really don’t know him well enough to tell.
“Well, I do need to get a few things from the market. What do you have for sale?”
“I have a few different things you might be interested in. Some freshly-roasted coffee beans, honey, cocoa, some homemade candies, and a few different types of soap and candles that I made.”
It takes a few moments to look over all the items he has. The coffee smells delicious, and the honey looks dark and rich. The soap and candles are quite nice too… all the other ponies are missing out just because they are too scared to deal with somepony that’s different. It’s a shame, but hopefully they’ll get over it soon enough. “Everything you have looks so nice! I’d like to get some of your soap, please. It’ll help some of the animals smell less like… well, animals.”
“Well, that’s really sweet of you, Fluttershy… I wish more ponies were as friendly as you.” His face falls a bit and he looks away. “It does get kinda lonely out here… Sometimes, I think most ponies really don’t want me to be here. Probably just about as much as I don’t want to be here myself.”
Well, you feel really bad now. He seems so sad, you really should do something to cheer him up. “Oh, Anon… I’m sure that ponies just aren’t used to you yet. Give it a bit of time and I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”
“I’d like to think so, Fluttershy, but I really don’t know that it’ll be that simple… Maybe someday. Well, enough of that depressing talk. Would you like to try something that I made?” He smiles and reaches into a paper bag on the counter and pulls out a small, brown cube, then walks out from behind the counter and presents his offering, holding it flat in the middle of his hand. Slowly, he inches it toward your snout, stopping a respectful distance away from your nose.
You sniff the air tentatively, but can’t really place the smell. If nothing else, it isn’t unpleasant. He continues to look at you expectantly, as though he’s waiting for you to do something. Oh, right, you should probably thank him for his generosity… and maybe ask him what it is that he’s offering.
“Oh, thank you so much Anon… Um, what is it? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”
“It’s a special type of treat that I used to make during the winter holidays back home. Something most ponies probably haven’t tried before. It might seem an odd mixture of flavors, but I think you’ll like it. Well, if you like sweets, that is.”
You lower your muzzle to his hand and take a closer sniff of the substance in question. Though it was faint, your nose could just barely detect a hint of honey and clover, with another unfamiliar, almost buttery scent. After a moment’s consideration, you decide it’s something you might actually enjoy. You look up at him with a bit of apprehension and he smiles in response, slightly extending his arm to give you easier access. It’s a bit awkward for you to eat out of his hand, but you carefully manage to grab the morsel with your lips without making too much unnecessary contact.
Once the treat is in your mouth you take a few moments to pick apart the flavors. The taste is odd; it’s definitely sweet, probably some kind of caramel, but there‘s something else... Something strangely familiar, but you can’t quite place it. After a few moments, the candy melts and starts sticking to your teeth and the roof of your mouth. The texture is really smooth and velvety. It’s hard not to smack your lips as you savor the unique sensation.
“Thith ith reawy good… Whath it called?”
Anon giggles a bit at the funny look on your face and replies, “It’s called salted caramel, one of my favorite things to make when the weather is chilly. I’m glad you like it!”
“Wait… did you just say sa—” Once the reality of his words hits home, you inhale sharply, causing you to breathe in enough liquefied caramel to make you cough and try to swallow. The salty substance sticks to the back of your throat, which only intensifies your coughing fit. Anon immediately rushes to your aid and begins patting you on the back.
The world is spinning, your head feels like it’s detached, and you can’t even keep your balance. You stumble into Anon, but he catches you and slowly lowers you to the ground, then rests your head in his lap, gently patting your back and stroking your feathers. Tears begin to flow down your cheeks and your breath hitches as Anon runs his fingers down your back and over the downy tufts at the base of your wings, speaking soft words of encouragement the entire time.
“Are you okay? I-I didn’t mean to make you choke. Oh, I feel so terrible, now! Please don’t cry Fluttershy… Oh my god, are ponies allergic to caramel? D-do you need me to take you to a doctor?”
Somehow, despite the crippling fear and intense sensations coming from your wings, you manage to shake your head and let out a pitiful squeak. Fortunately, Anon seems to take the hint.
“N-no? Okay, we can stay here. I’m okay with that. Shhh, just take it nice and easy, you’ll feel better soon.”
He continues to gently brush his fingertips over your feathers in an effort to soothe you. The combination of the salt rush and Anon gently caressing your wings is exhilarating, yet terrifying at the same time. Your mind is overcome with fear and pleasure, a strange combination that you’ve never before imagined. At first it makes you want to scream and run away, but deep down, it’s a feeling you somehow enjoy. After what seems like an eternity of helpless, terrified bliss, the initial rush of the salt begins to fade. You look up at Anon, eyes filled with tears. The effects of the drug begin to subside, and your mind is slingshotted back into reality. Your imagination starts to run wild with all the possible scenarios.
What? What just happened? Was he planning on doing this to somepony the entire time?! I-I can’t believe he would do something like that… He seemed so nice! And I don’t even know how to feel about it… was it really bad? I-I just don’t know!
A small raspy voice escapes from your lips, “I-I have to go now.”
After regaining a bit of your strength, you carefully extricate yourself from his grasp, shakily rising to your hooves, tears still blurring your vision. You glance up at Anon and his brow creases with concern.
“I hope you’re okay, Fluttershy. I really, really didn’t mean to make you choke. W-would you like to take some samples of my other stuff so you can try it out?”
“N-no!” Your eyes widen as you slowly back away from Anon, heading toward the safety of the crowd. As you turn around and walk toward the herd, you see a wide-eyed Lyra staring in Anon’s direction. For a moment, you make eye contact, then immediately look away, ashamed of what the minty-green mare might have seen. Glancing back one last time, you see Anon’s disappointed face as he stands there watching you slowly disappear into the bustling group of ponies. He gives you a sad smile and waves, then droops his head and walks back to his spot behind the table.
After a bit of time to clear your mind, you notice a lingering sensation in your wings. I think I need to talk to somepony about what just happened.. As you walk towards town square with a slightly irregular gait, you begin to notice that each sway of your hips brings your focus to a certain warmth that demands your attention. On second thought, maybe I can talk about it after I take a long, hot shower...
Stats
Page generated in 0.032 seconds
Total duration
1,030 users online
1,974,472 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
salt, never understood why ponies don't like itr, I eat salt a lot (Like these pretzels i'm munching on)(
5403253 Frogs?
http://www.quartercrack.com/Images/Anatomy/sole.gif
5403481 wouldn't that apply to all pones?
5403481
In some stories that I've read in the past, salt is like a drug for the ponies. I thought an accidental drugging would be a funny situation, not to mention it was a really convenient way to get Fluttershy into an awkward situation like this.
5401383
It is quickly becoming a thing.
5402687
We'll see what happens.
5402938
You're getting more.
5403049
5403481
5403566
Each pony race has its own special erogenous zone and, of course, they're all sensitive in similar areas that I should not have to point out. Well, except for the boring ponies, they don't get to be special.
5403508 In the episode Over a Barrel, there was a saloon called 'The Salt Lick' that a drunk pony got tossed out of. Ever after that, bronies got it in their heads that ponies get drunk off of salt. Because they're stupid. So in this fic, Fluttershy thinks the 4-chanfag tried to get her drunk so he could molest her.
Salt licks are mineral deposits that tend to attract animals that need essential minerals in their diet. This makes a salt lick a natural social hub for these animals, much like saloons for humans.
Makes me want to see a fic where characters from "My Little Human" comes to the pony world, and the ponies won't let them drink water because one episode shows a drunk getting thrown out of a saloon called "The Watering Hole" and they think humans get drunk from drinking water. Because they're stupid.
While this looks kinda interesting, I absolutly cannot stand it when fics call the human "Anon." It interupts the flow in my mind as I read. Oh well good luck with your story!
5403640
I endorse this comment. But to be fair, this is the internet, so it's pretty much a given.
And then Fluttershy reports Anon to the guards that he drugged her and then molested. Anon was sentenced to 10 years in prison. The end.
Salt in Equestria usally ends with a "Hell yes!!" or "Hell no!!" kind of situation.......sadly poor Anon got a bit of both.
5403592 I'd wonder if earth ponies would have both increased sensitivity to things of a persistent complexity, including vibration, texture, sound, light, and temperature. Pegasi I can see being more attuned to quick changes than static environments - in Anon's case, touches which move over and around the wing areas, never settling for long.
The earth pony equivalent would be a touch which stayed in the same place, described a small or repeated motion, and/or moved slowly. The constant heat of a sunbeam, fireplace, warm embrace, or summer, or the cool of a shadow or pool, rather than the quick temperature changes of flying through a cloud or galloping in and out of shade.
I get the impression pegasi would love quick, dancy rhythms, bursty speech, and high energy, whereas earth ponies would like slow music with sustained notes, long and repeated strokes with a coat-brush, and derive comfort from predictability and repetition. (Pinkie Pie aside. But then again she was derived from Surprise, so... yeah.)
5403640 Personally, I think it's just a funny gimmick that has little to nothing to do with people being stupid.
Then again, this IS the Internet. Stupid is inevitable.
5403640
yeah, humans are stupid and I could see tht, I could see that
5403871 exactly, ears are the pony's weak spot
(Spread the word)
5403640
5404194
There is a little more to it than that. Yes, it started out with The Salt Lick saloon, but also consider that salt has been considered as the default way to stop magic in mythology for centuries. A circle of salt is one of the oldest ways to block out magic, a pinch of thrown salt is said to dissolve spells, etc...
Now what happens when you add salt to creatures that rely on magic? If you put the two myths together, then It messes them up. Like alcohol displaces water when you get drunk, salt would displace their natural magic reserves, giving them a different kind of drunk.
5404493 That makes a lot of sense...head-canon accepted!
5403640 You also seem to forget he had salt all on his lips as well.
It was also called the Salt Block, and the owner himself yelled out. "THAT'S ENOUGH SALT FOR YOU!"
Like people didn't even watch the episode if they're just calling people stupid.
Sure it's technically used as a G Rated version of what should be there, but hey, work with what you got if it amuses you.
5404516 ...accepted?
5404493 Oh yeah, there is that. Frankly, I hadn't thought about that particular application of salt at all. When I think about anti-magic what comes to mind is cold iron or some sort of magical Unobtanium.
5403640
Isn't the point of most cartoons to make stupid things seem funny? The "watering hole" scenario you just described is a classic example of cartoon humor. Ponies, man. Ponies.
5404150
You have put waaay too much thought into this...
5404194
Exactly. It's cartoon humor. Why would I even try to make sense?
5404446
Well, I wasn't exactly going for a literary work of art... Hell, I didn't even expect many people to read it at all. Never even considered it'd get featured. Thanks for the feedback, everyone!
5404752
Good, I'm glad you suffered as much as I (sometimes) do when I read stories on Fimfiction. Don't worry, not all my stories are AiE stories. The idea for this story just happened to come from one of my AiE friends, and it was written thusly. I'm glad you enjoyed the pain of reading it enough to let me know how much it made you suffer.
5403875
Um, thanks? I think.
HURRR HIS NAME IS ANON IT'S SO STUPID. I PREFER NAMES LIKE JOHN OR CHRIS. WHY DON'T YOU APPEAL TO ME? I CAN'T SELF-INSERT WITH A NAME LIKE ANON. STOP TRIGGERING ME.
I'm expecting more comments like that.
Edit: Looks like I was too late.
5403875
5404752
If you worry more about a name than the actual story, I think you're reading for all the wrong reasons.
PLOT TWIST
Anon knows exactly what he's doing.
Ugh, anon. Just thinking aloud here, but Why does he have to be so oblivious! Everyone must think he's some kind of pony rapist Now! Poor anon...
I like what you are doing with the story overall because culture clash is always fun, but I do have two issues with the presentation which I find significantly detract from the enjoyment of reading the story so I would strongly recommend going back and editing them out because that will not take very long and will do a lot to improve the story.
First, the story is told in second person while following one of the mane six which is very strange. Second person in English is used almost exclusively for direct address (e.g. "I need you to do something") which causes serious disconnects when reading a story. Some people around here do use it for what is essentially reader-insertion fantasy, but that does not work at all when the point of view is clearly a canon character. The result is that the story comes off as you trying to tell a character from the show what happened to them which just feels wrong. To fix this, you should really convert it to either first person so it is like the character in question is recounting the story or a narrowly limited third person perspective so it is like a camera hovering over that character's shoulder (and usually seeing at least some of their thoughts).
Second, "Anon" is not at all a name and does not even remotely sound like one so reading that seriously hurts immersion. I think the story would work far better if you replaced it with a real name of your choice (I will arbitrarily suggest Aaron because it sounds kind of similar), but if you are dead set against that for some bizarre reason then you should at the very least change it to the Latin word Nemo because that at least sounds like a real name and has been used for a number of major fictional characters in the past (Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is probably the most prominent example) while still retaining the same meaning.
I will track and read the story either way, but I cannot honestly say I like it with these glaring issues so I will not give it a thumbs up or add it to a public bookshelf while they persist.
5405030
This is an AiE (Anon in Equestria) style story. Stories like this are always written in second person, present tense. It's a particular style of story and it's written in a particular way. This story was intended to be silly, stupid, and funny. It wasn't meant to have deep storyline immersion or to develop characters that you can easily to relate to. If you want a story that is deep and immersive, you definitely need to look for something else, because this doesn't fall into that category. I figure the "I'm so sorry, Anon..." in the description would give that away.
5405030
>Can't read second person stories
Look at the idiot and laugh!
Also a name is a word you would use to address someone. Is Anon a word? Yes. Is it being used to address a person? Yes. Therefore Anon is a name and a great one at that. You should apologise to all the people named Anon out there.
He writes all these poems and inspirational quotes for people and you're just shitting on him because you don't like his name. For shame.
5405101
Oh, my... That is a bit suggestive isn't it?
5405030
I've read some stupid comments in my time, but yours should win an award.
Second person stories have been around for years, examples being: Stolen: A Letter to My Captor by Lucy Christopher, Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris, and City of Saints and Madmen by Jeff VanderMeer just to name a few. Your example of second person is actually in first person. (e.g. "I need you to do something") Second person perspective is totally a choice and preferred by people who read AiE stories. (Anonymous in Equestria).
Which leads me to your second problem: Anon. Anon is short of Anonymous. The reason this name is used is because this was written for the AiE group, hence why this story is in the AiE groups on FiMFic. I'll say it again: If you're concerned about a name, you're reading the story for all the wrong reasons.
As for your opinions on what you are doing with this story, let me tell you a secret that everyone is thinking to themselves: No one cares.
God, you're pretentious as fuck.
5405060 Just because it is silly and funny does not mean you should ignore the way English works. That is like saying you are not going to use punctuation because you are not going for a deep immersive experience. English is the framework you build your story within, not a stylistic choice unless you and your readers are fluent in enough different languages that you can select one for stylistic reasons which I seriously doubt is the case here.
5404796
5404970
Its just a pet peeve thing, not a self insert thing. I dont down vote for it or anything. If anything I'm tempted to upvote this for being one of the better uses of another pet peeve of mine, second-person present tense, also something odd that usually throws off my reading groove. But I think it really works well with established characters (feels less "here's your gary-sue everybrony! put on his pants and go fuck some ponies) and the present tense (less of a peeve than the other two) really shows how fast this is going for the ponies, too fast to react
I might read this, I might not. The anon thing is my deal not yours (though it is a trope I wish would fade already) either way I did't/won't downvote a story I'm not reading for such a petty reason.
Ok, we got the pegasi out of the way, now to fondle- er, find the other two kinds of ponies; Earth and Unicorn.
What nieve deviltry can Anon get in to next?
Tummy or neck rubs? Scritching behind an ear only to see a hind leg start twitching and kicking like a dog? I could see him crouched next to a certain purple unicorn who's napping at a table (after an all-night study binge), curious about the horn and touching it, tracing the spirals with a delicate fingertip or two. Probably enough stimulation to wake said unicorn into a groggy, half-aroused state. Since purplesmart overthinks situations often, the teasing hornjob will continue until her panic overcomes the arousal and she teleports away hastily to her room... or a cold shower. Once again leaving a confused Anon wondering, "I just don't know what went wrong?"
I'm guessing the issue over clothing was already settled? Clothes (pants anyway) must have been made mandatory for Anon by mutual agreement since human males are left swinging in the breeze all the time unlike stallions who can hide it. The pants are for the protection of innocent foals and easily offended mares who don't want to see somepony's junk at eye-level to them. That and human's lack a tail to cover their butt.
5403640
I'm not sure if I want to thumb down your comment because you're being a bit rude, or if I want to thumb it up because your facts are correct and I like your story premise.
5403640
I don't know what it's like where you live, but saloons are not social hubs where I'm from. Saloons, bars, taverns, pubs... Only one purpose for them—to get stinking drunk. Maybe you'll go there with your friends, but not just to hang out.
Minor gripe, I know.
Yeesh. Thank goodness, as a moderator of /r/Fanfiction, I only deal with stories made from intellectuals such as myself. Anon? cheap sexual jokes? What makes this all the more laughable is the bickering in the comments. Another bad sign being waved in my face by the fimfiction community. If you would like to see how it is done, make sure to go and check out Reddit.com home of dank memes, friendly atheists and proper stories.
-Snuggly, level 4 atheist, /r/Fanfiction moderator and owner of 60 doge coins
5405239
I would read the fuck out of The Anonymous Parable.
Unlike the source material where only Stanley exists, everybody else in Equestria could be two-dimensional, poorly-written caricatures of themselves based on existing FiM fanfiction cliches.
Discord would be the perfect choice for the unseen Narrator. He's already a powerful, self-absorbed reality warper, and his voice and vocal mannerisms are similar to the Narrator's.
5405200
I think you need to step back and reanalyze what you're saying. There is nothing grammatically improper about the way my story is written. If you don't believe me, let's see what Wikipedia has to say about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second-person_narrative
Or how about looking at some works of modern literature that are written in this format? https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/second-person
Are you telling me that all these writers are ignorant to their own language? I think not. Writing in this form is just another way for some writers to test their skill and give themselves a new challenge. For me, it's a way to practice writing outside of my normal comfort zone.
Example: http://thewritepractice.com/second-person/
I'm sorry you dislike the format, but you need to do your homework before you go spouting off grammatical facts that aren't all that factual. It makes you look rather pretentious. That isn't very pleasant for anyone to deal with.
I agree with this guy:
>http://www.fimfiction.net/story/236235/personal-touch#comment/5405133
He explained the scenario pretty well, I think.
5405283
Like I said to that other guy, (What was his name again?) writing like this is a great way for me to practice writing in a way that's very different from my normal style. And it's for AiE, so it has to be this way.
http://thewritepractice.com/second-person/
I like the story, but I'm waiting for how Anon is going to find out, and how he'll react. Does somepony call the guards or does Anon get curious and ask Twilight Sparkle the one question that would solve this issue 'Are wings an erogenous zone for Pegasi?' Then how does HE react to figuring out that he's been accidentally molesting ponies?
I'd run and hide in the Everfree forest and become a hunter gatherer out of shame. My lack of ability would mean that I would only last a few days before getting devoured by Timber Wolves, but it's the principle of the thing.
5406109
I have Aetheist friends who would be ashamed of your conduct here.
The story is funny
, and the 2nd person PoV... I only have to say that is nice to see an story in this format, it's a long time (1~2 years in school), since the last time that I saw this 
5404791 Oh, that was the only bad part. The pain of the innuendo was from comical obviousness.
wait, is anon a rapist/sexual harasser anon? or completely dumb and clueless anon?
This is certainly amusing, if nothing else! I have to agree with others that using "Anon" as a persons name feels rather off, though.
5406872 He would seem to be legitimately clueless as to what he is doing to the ponies. He thinks he is just having fun petting their cute, feathery wings, when in reality he is doing something very strongly erotic.
5406923 I can see him eating a bunch of those caramels in public and getting some remarks made about him....
5404632 oops, my bad.
5407070 I can see that too, now you mention it. He's walking down the street with a bag of salted caramels, idly snacking as he goes about his business, and he does not notice the stares and comments behind his back.
He thinks it's perfectly normal, but to them he looks like a lush.
5405200
5406201
BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
5407141 I hope that's a thing in the next chapter.