Act II: Rest and Reconciliation
I paused at the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie’s parcel still in hand. My eyes read the sign above the front gate over and over again as my mind tried to register what I was doing. How many times had I come here under different motives? I shook the thought out of my head; this was a new life… for the second time, and it was time to mend some scars left by the last one.
Old habits set my nerves on edge as I walked through the farm. Seeing the orchard in the daylight felt so strange, and so wrong. I had never braved my way to the farmhouse itself before, and every ounce of instinct I had was screaming at me to turn and run.
I took in a breath to settle it down. This was a new life, I reminded myself again.
I didn't even realize I was standing at the front door. The package was weighing heavy in my hands. With one last breath to gather my nerves, I raised a hand and knocked.
Barking erupted from the other side, causing me to jolt. Memories quickly resurfaced, and I had to force myself not to instinctively run at the all too familiar sound. A muffled voice tried to calm the beast down, and the front door cracked open to reveal an even more familiar mare.
“Now, Winona— No; sit. Winona!” Applejack slowly backed out of the door, keeping it close as to not let her dog slip out as she stared it down. She stole a sideways glance and flashed a brief smile. “Oh, howdy, Hunter! No wonder Winona’s in such a hissy. Ah’ll be right with you.” Winona had some choice words to share as well. Although, given the tone, I was glad they were lost in translation.
Applejack wiped her brow and sighed in relief when she finally shut the door. On the other side, Winona continued shouting obscenities and scratched at the wooden door, to which Applejack gave an apologetic smile.
“Ahem, so, what brings you here, Hunter?” she quickly asked.
“I was just, uh, in the neighborhood,” I shrugged. “Figured I’d swing by and chat if you weren’t too busy.”
She raised her eyebrow and gave me a look. “‘In the neighborhood’, huh?” she asked knowingly.
I glanced around us and noticed the distinct lack of other buildings in the area and coughed. “Well, with a loose definition of ‘neighborhood’,” I explained sheepishly. “Oh, and, uh, Pinkie wanted me to give you this,” I added as I handed over the package.
She accepted it with a hoof and inspected it curiously. “Huh, wonder what this is,” she said absently.
“Well, Pinkie was freaking out about it earlier,” I offered. “Said she was supposed to bring it to you this morning. She got real worried that you’d think she was a bad friend or something for forgetting it.”
“A bad friend? Pinkie?” Applejack asked incredulously. “Shoot, she’s one of my best friends! Ah’d never think so low of her.” She looked at the package again with a new regard and chuckled. “Y’know, Ah can’t even imagine what this could be that’d make Pinkie so wound up. Now, let’s see here…”
Applejack bit down on one of the ends of the package and tore it off. After peeking inside, she reached in and pulled out a letter. As her eyes skimmed over the lines, her soft grin slowly faded. Her brow furrowed, and she glanced up to me once before reading again. Before I could ask what it was, though, she stuffed the letter back into the box and snapped on a smile.
“Whew, thanks for deliverin’ this, Hunter,” she quickly said. “Pinkie gets real serious about our pets’ birthdays and all. Winona’s must’ve been sneakin’ up on me; Ah completely forgot about it. Ah’m sure she’ll like these biscuits Pinkie got her, though.”
“Bless you.”
Applejack blinked. “Er, beg pardon?”
“Oh, sorry,” I stammered. “I thought you were about to sneeze. Your, uh… Your nose started scrunching a bit there.”
“My nose?” she echoed. “Oh, right. Ah guess it just got a bit of a tickle. Oop, there it goes again.” She touched her hoof to her muzzle and gave a nervous chuckle.
“So, what was it that brought you here again?” she asked. “No offense, but Ah doubt you decided to just come out here to help Pinkie outta the goodness in your heart. Ah know things are still a little, er, tense between you two.”
I scratched the back of my head and tried to avoid eye contact. “Um, right. I just wanted a chance to talk about some things. Things are still a little weird now ever since… well, ever since the trial, and we haven’t really talked since then.” I started choking on my own words as I realized how awkward this probably was. Maybe there was a way to double back. “But I’m sure you’re busy,” I brushed off. “My grandfather owns a farm up in Missouri, and I know the work’s a hassle to get done.”
“Oh, nonsense,” Applejack waved off. “We had an early harvest this year. Kinda had to to make sure they wouldn’t get stolen by…” Her words trailed off, and she coughed into her hoof. “To make sure none of the varmints would get to them,” she rephrased.
We stood there uncomfortably, trying not to meet each other’s eyes. Inside the farmhouse, Winona filled the silence with her barking as she scratched at the door, desperate to save her owner from the Beast of the Everfree.
I shook my head. “Sorry, this was a mistake.” I took a few steps backwards and shoved my hands in my jacket pockets. “I’ll, um… I’ll see you around, Applejack.” I turned on my heel as I took another backstep and made my way back to the gate, but I didn’t make it far before Applejack called me back.
“Hunter, wait!” I paused and glanced back; Applejack had covered half the distance before slowing to a stop. Her mouth hung open as if she meant to speak, but her eyes fell to the earth beneath my feet as she rubbed her hoof against her foreleg.
“Ah think you’re onto somethin’,” she confessed. “About the talking, that is. Well, maybe a few other things, too. Things have been feelin’ weird around town.” She paused, taking in a breath and letting out a heavy sigh. “Hardly anything’s changed, but it still feels like everything’s been turned upside down. And Ah feel it’s gonna stay that way until somepony does somethin’ about it.” She looked up to me and gave a sincere smile. “And maybe talking would be a good start.”
A rush of relief came over me, and I returned her smile and looked past her at the farmhouse. Winona had found her way to one of the windows and continued her rant with added ferocity. “Don’t suppose we can take this somewhere a bit quieter?” I asked hopefully.
“Well, of course,” Applejack chirped. “Here, Ah don’t reckon she can bother us over by the well.”
I followed Applejack as she walked down the dirt path away from the farmhouse, and all the while my eyes kept flickering between her and the orchard to our left. No matter how many times I tried to shrug it off, everything just felt so strange, like an itch in the back of my head I couldn’t quite reach.
“Sorry about Winona,” Applejack apologized, derailing my train of thought. “She’s usually real nice, but me and Macintosh may have trained her to not be too friendly with you. It’s gonna take her some time to readjust to everything.”
“Yeah, she’s not the only one,” I chuckled halfheartedly. We reached the well at the front of the property, and I sat on its stone wall. A memory sparked to life, and I inspected the rope behind me leading deeper into the well. My hand reached out curiously and tugged upward on the rope, and I was surprised to feel a small weight trying to pull back down. “Oh, you replaced it,” I said absently. “I was actually going to offer to buy a new one for you.”
Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. “No, don’t you worry about that. The last one we had was old anyways; Ah’ve been tryin’ to convince Granny Smith to replace it for years now. No permanent damage was done.”
“Well, that’s good to hear at least,” I lied. Somehow her words weren’t as comforting as she had hoped. I took in a breath and tried to build up my courage. “Look, I… I really appreciate what you did for me a few days ago. I know it must’ve taken a lot to go up in front of everyone, in front of your princess even, and say, well… and say the things you said. I know plenty of people who would have tried to save their own skin if they were in your shoes, and I just wanted to say—”
“Hunter, Ah really appreciate this,” Applejack cut in with an uncomfortable look. “But Ah wasn’t the only one who stood up for you that day.”
“No, but I’ve already thanked Fluttershy and Daisy more than enough,” I explained. “And besides, after all that you did to help, it made me start thinking about everything I did to you before.” I scratched the back of my head, feeling too guilty to look her in the eyes. “I harassed you and your family a lot and was, well… I was a bit of a jerk. I wanted to thank you and apologize for it all, so… Here.”
I reached for my side where a small pouch was tethered to my beltline and offered it to Applejack. She looked surprised but held out a hoof to accept it. However, when she felt the weight of its contents, her expression quickly changed, and she eyed it fearfully as if it was a disease.
“Hunter?” she asked warily. “What is this?”
“Fifty bits, give or take. I… kind of lost count,” I admitted. “I know it’s not enough to pay for everything, but it was all the pouch could carry. I can head back to the Bon-Bon’s and—”
“Where did you get this?” Applejack pressed.
Her interjection threw me off guard. “It was, um, part of the Princess’ compensation,” I explained. “If we’re being honest, I don’t really need the money; I’m going to be leaving soon. I kept telling her, but she kept insisting, so I figured—”
“Ah can’t take this,” Applejack quickly said, pushing the small bag back into my hands.
I looked between her and the bag in confusion. She looked guiltily to the side, heavily trying to avoid looking directly at me. “I… I don’t think you understand,” I said slowly. “I don’t need this money. I tried to tell your princess; it’s kinda wasted on me. I just wanted to go home. I don’t even know what to do with all the money I was given.”
She paused. “How much were you given?” she asked cautiously, as if she didn’t truly want to know. I hesitated, but motioned for her to lean in and whispered in her ear. She pulled back and let out a low whistle. “That’s, er, that’s a real generous amount,” she said with a strained smile.
“Enough to buy a small house,” I nodded. “Or enough of a cushion to make easy payments; I can’t remember what Bon-Bon said. Finance was never my forte.” I held the money out one last time for her, and she shook her head sharply in refusal. With a heavy sigh, I tied it back to my beltline and slumped on the wall.
“Why don’t you just spend it for yourself?” she offered. “If you ain’t planning on staying forever, you should get something to remember all your friends by, and something for them to remember you.” I perked up a bit at the thought. It didn’t sound half-bad. “And Ah ain’t much one for fashion, but Ah’m sure you ain’t wearing these raggedy old clothes for their looks,” she added, motioning to my tattered pant leg. “Ah know Rarity would be right happy to fix them up for you. Hay, she can even tailor you some more if you asked.”
I hesitated. “I don’t know. Sweetie Belle’s been trying to get us to talk to each other more. We tried once, for her sake.” I frowned. “Not exactly one of my most comfortable dinners. I know Sweetie Belle meant well trying to cook for us, but it didn’t help that she charred it. It led to a lot of awkward silences and uncomfortable small talk while we picked at it. I think Rarity’s still a little cross with me after… well, you know.”
“Y’know, it’s kinda funny,” Applejack smiled softly. “Ah remember her telling me about that dinner, and she told me the same thing about you.” She paused to let the fact settle in, and after a minute I snorted in disbelief and shook my head. I swung a leg over into the well to straddle the wall and leaned against the wooden post.
“A lot of my friends feel that way about you, too,” she eventually continued. “They all know they’ve done you a lot of wrong, and they want to make it up to you, but a lot of them are too scared to confront you because they think you hate them.”
“Well, some of them have good reason to,” I muttered under my breath.
“Oh, come on, Hunter. Ah know you don’t really mean that,” she said hopefully. My look must have not reassured her, though, and her expression fell. “Hunter, Ah know you don’t really mean that,” she said more sternly.
“Really?” I asked flatly. “What do you want me to say, Applejack? They organized a town against me, they tackled me at the speed of a bullet, they shot me point blank with a cannon; twice, I’d like to add on that last one,” I listed off my fingers. “And that’s not even including what they did to me last week, where they imprisoned me in a basement and interrogated and borderline tortured me for saving a bunch of kids!”
“And Ah seem to recall Ah was there, too,” Applejack shot back. “Ah helped run you out of town when you first got here, and Ah helped put you in that basement. When you came to my property looking for food, it was me and my family that chased you down. Hay, we even went as far as hunting you down in the Everfree. When everypony else went to sleep, Ah stayed up plotting and scheming against you. Ah…” She stamped her hoof into the earth and exhaled the rest of her tension. “Ah thought things about you, Hunter,” she said, deflating. “Things Ah ain’t proud to admit. Ah wanted you hurt and… and a lot worse for everything Ah thought you did.”
Silence crept in as her words settled like dust. “But here you are,” she eventually said, a hopeful smile threatening to show. “After everything Ah did to you, after everything Ah wanted to do to you, you’re still here, wanting to set things straight between us.”
A second ticked by as I tried to gather my thoughts, and I shook my head. “You’re different,” I said simply, and she gave me a look that demanded an explanation. “You stood up for me… when it counted,” I continued. “Despite all that your friends thought, you decided to believe in me and gave me a chance.”
“Because you gave me a reason to,” Applejack reminded me. “Ah could’ve sworn you were no better than a low-down thief, but you showed me there was good in ya after all.” Applejack climbed up the side of the well and rested on its wall with me. “You showed me who you really were back in that hospital. You didn't have to watch over that old field trip, and you sure didn't have to bring the foals back, but you did. You were willing to give us a second chance, despite how we've treated you for so long. Ah figured it was only fair to give you one, too.
“But my friends? They only ever saw the bad in ya, like Ah once did, and they did a lot of wrong by you because of it, but Ah want you to understand, they’re good mares,” she pleaded. “Y’all just kept getting off on the wrong hoof is all. If you took the time to get to know them, like you did with me, Ah’m sure you’ll come to learn that, too.” She fiddled with her hooves, working to build her courage.
“Now, Ah don’t know what you think of me, but Ah’d like to think of you as a friend,” she admitted. “And Ah don’t like seeing my friends hating or fighting with each other. So if you would, just… give them another chance; please?” she asked, meeting my eyes. “If not for your sake or theirs, then for mine?”
I sighed. As much as I wanted to make things up to her, I also didn’t care to meet with her other friends. Still, after everything that had happened, between her sticking her neck out to save mine and myself working up the nerve to come here in the first place, I figured I was obligated to meet her half way, at very least. “I’ll give Rarity another shot, alright?” I finally conceded. “For your sake. The others, though… Don’t get too hopeful.”
Applejack took in a breath to retort, but she cut herself off with a grim nod. “Fair enough,” she sighed. “Ah suppose Ah can’t force ya, but… Ah appreciate it.”
My eyes fell into the depths of the well and my foot that swung lazily in it, and I realized just how badly I wanted to get out of here. I swung both my legs across the well and hopped off onto the grass. “I’ll catch you around, Applejack,” I offered. “If you’re ever in town, feel free to stop by. I’m sure Bon-Bon wouldn’t mind.”
Applejack blinked. “O-Oh, you’re leavin’ so soon?” Her eyes darted back to the farmhouse, and the package she left at the front door. “Why don’t you stay a little while longer?” she offered with a hopeful smile. “Granny Smith has an apple pie cooling off on the sill; Ah’m sure it’s nice and ready by now.”
“Oh, no, I can’t,” I shook my head, holding a hand over my stomach. “No offense, but I think I’ve had my fill of apples for the rest of the year.”
It won a light, knowing chuckle out of the both of us, but Applejack wasn’t deterred. “Well, if not for that, then what about Applebloom?” she asked. “Ah think she said she was wanting to see ya. She and her friends oughta be out of school any minute now.”
Her nose scrunched, and I paused for the sneeze that never came. “Oh, I don’t want to impose and stay while I wait,” I explained carefully, hoping she would take the subtle hint.
She didn’t.
“Oh, nonsense, Hunter. Won’t be any trouble at all! Here, Ah’ll even get my brother to tidy the place up while you’re here.” Applejack called back to the farmhouse, “Macintosh!”
The front door opened, and as the stallion called back to his sister, a figure darted out from beneath him. It barreled closer and closer to us, its yapping growing louder and louder, and it took a moment for me to realize what was really happening.
I swore under my breath and raced to the fence line, leaving Applejack in a confused daze. As Winona darted past her, though, she quickly came to her senses. My instincts were kicking back in. I couldn’t outrun the dog; I was too out of practice to even try. The orchard was too far away, but that didn’t leave me completely out of options.
I made it to the fence and climbed on top of one of the posts, slightly holding out my arms to balance myself. Winona came crashing beneath me, snarling as she tried to jump for my feet. Thankfully, they were just outside of her reach. Applejack slid to a halt and pulled Winona away by the collar, trying unsuccessfully to calm her down.
“You know… it’s a real shame,” I panted. “I used to really like dogs.”
Applejack could only offer an apologetic grin.
<><><>
A cold gust of wind tore through my tattered clothes as I rested beneath a tree in Ponyville’s park. After the impromptu game of chase with Winona, I figured I had had enough excitement for the day without the childlike antics of Applebloom and her friends, and my body was begging me for rest. Besides, if they really wanted to see me, I wasn’t exactly the hardest person to spot in a crowd in this town.
It took an odd amount of time to convince Applejack I was just going to the park, and even when I did, she looked like she still had an itch in the back of her mind as I left. I originally assumed she was just making sure so she could send her sister after me, but as time drew on and my rest went uninterrupted, I began to have second thoughts. I couldn’t imagine why Applejack made such a fuss to make sure I was staying in the park otherwise.
Another gust of wind tore me from my thoughts. I grit back a small shiver and pulled my legs in closer. Maybe I could ask Bon-Bon if I could use the sewing machine in her room to close up some of these holes. I had been meaning to ask for a while now, but the air still felt a little strange whenever we were together. That, paired with last night’s… uncomfortable happenings… Maybe it would be best to wait a couple more days before bringing it up.
My eyes fluttered open, and on the other side of the park, the Everfree loomed darkly in the low-hanging sun. Through the swaying of the branches and thickets in the breeze, my imagination saw the eyes of beasts; manticores and bears and timberwolves. I scowled back at them, wondering how the Princess’ Guard was faring.
You should be out there looking for home. Not them.
I blinked in surprise; these conversations were coming fewer and further between ever since my trial, probably due to my lack of responses lately. Talking to others was always more enticing than to myself. I drew in a breath and let it out as a sigh.
I’ve had my share of adventures in there, I pointed out. It’s time for someone else to endure that hellhole of a forest while I get some much-needed R and R. Besides, with the timberwolves hunting for me, I wouldn’t make it three feet in there. The Princess’ Guard will be better equipped to survive the Everfree than I could ever hope to be.
They don’t know where to start looking. You do, it argued. The Everfree is vast. We’ve only seen a fraction of it.
“What would you have me do, point it out to them on a map?” I grumbled.
You should be leading them.
“Lead them?” I scoffed. “Ha, that’s a joke. We both know I’m no leader. I couldn’t lead a handful of foals through that forest without two of them nearly dying.”
You’re evading the point, it said sternly. You can’t hide in this town forever.
“Who said I was planning on it?” I bit back. “I don’t want anything more than to go back home.”
Then start acting like it. I bit my tongue at its sudden bitter tone, daring it to go further. You’re living in the same town of the creatures that wanted you dead not even a full week ago, it continued in spite of me. You live in one of their houses; you wake up with them, you eat with them. You always assure them you are about to leave, but you never do anything to prepare!
“What, do you want me to pack the one thing I brought with me?” I demanded. “Oh, wait, I’m already done! It’s sitting on the nightstand next to the bed, ready to go.”
And what are you doing? I winced as my head rang with a headache. You’re sitting here fantasizing of returning home, but rather than taking control and finding the door yourself, you are willing to leave you fate in the hands of the creatures that once saw you as their enemy. How much effort do you really expect them to put forth to find a stranger’s home?
“As much effort as the Princess told them to,” I growled. “And she wanted me to stay here. I trust that she sent some of her best to look for the portal.”
Oh, you trust her? the voice echoed sarcastically. The same princess that could have made your life easier so much sooner rather than testing you with a suicidal errand? The same princess who hoped her little social experiment with Twilight wouldn’t have gone ‘so far out of hoof’? The same princess that compensated you enough to purchase a house while her errand boys searched for your real home?
My tongue was stuck in my throat. Even if it wasn’t, I wasn’t sure if I could come up with any words to say.
It sure seems this ‘princess’ likes her games and tests… What makes you so sure this isn’t one either?
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I muttered under my breath.
Yes, there you go, the voice snarked. Take the coward’s way out. You’re so used to it by now, aren’t you?
“You son of a—” I picked up a stone and chucked it at the forest; it was all I could think of as a target. It couldn’t even make it a third of the way before returning to the earth. As my breathing calmed back down, I closed my eyes and fell back against the tree, uncaring of the sharp bark that dug into my head from the force.
“Hunter?”
My blood froze to the familiar voice. I looked up into the tree above me and found Rainbow Dash stretched along one of the higher branches. She yawned into her hoof and let it dangle limply over the edge. Her colorful mane was a mess, but the more I thought of it, it always was. She blinked a few times and squinted at me, unsure if I was really there. “What’re you doing here?” she asked groggily.
I sighed and leaned back against the tree. “I was resting,” I muttered under my breath. So much for that.
The branches above me rustled as she wiped the last of sleep from her eyes. She scanned the base of the tree as if she had dropped something. “Is… somepony else here, too?” she asked, scratching her head. “I thought I heard you talking.”
“I was,” I said bluntly. The back of my head burned. “Just thinking out loud, though. I’ve been sitting by myself for a while now.” I frowned. Why was I putting up with this? I came out to the park to relax, not play twenty questions. Rainbow’s voice wasn’t exactly the definition of relaxing, either. I stood up and brushed off the seat of my pants and started searching for another tree.
“Wait, ‘a while’?” Rainbow echoed. “What do you mean ‘a while’? How long have you been out here?”
I paused, against my better judgement, and groaned. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “An hour, maybe two? Maybe more? Hard to tell when you don’t have a watch.”
“Two hours?!” Whatever hope Rainbow had of going back to sleep was dashed away. She balanced herself on her hooves as she looked around wildly. “No, that can’t be right,” she argued. “I-I just closed my eyes for a few seconds… Oh my gosh, Rarity is going to kill me.”
She eyed the branches beneath her warily, and for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to look away from the show. She gently jumped off her perch to the branch beneath her, and then to the next. But just as her confidence grew, her hoof slipped off the third and sent her tumbling. She miraculously managed to miss some of the branches in her graceless descent, but what she hit, she hit hard.
I caught myself wincing as a limb stuck her barrel. Her body folded over it before falling back, and the back of her head collided with another. As if to add insult to injury, just as she was about to be free, her hind leg snagged against the last branch, sending her somersaulting to the ground where she crashed into a heap.
I stood there dumbfounded from the tragic display I had witnessed and poorly bit back a smile.
“Well, try not to beat Rarity to it,” I snickered.
She let out a groan and rose uneasily back to her hooves. She glanced up to the sun and teetered off to the side a few steps. “I… I gotta go,” she explained, taking a few wobbly steps forward. “You should, uh, stay here, though,” she added with an unconvincing smile. “Just for a few minutes at least.”
I threw her a look, but rather than explain herself, she broke into a gallop back into town. I brushed her off with a roll of my eyes and returned to the base of the tree. With neither Rainbow Dash nor the Beast of the Everfree around to pester me, I was eager to return to my much-needed rest and relaxation and enjoy the peace and quiet.
It wasn’t until I sat back down and closed my eyes that I realized just how peaceful and just how quiet it actually was. My eyes cracked open and squinted at the sun. It was late in the afternoon, nearing on the evening hours. Most of everyone was out of work by now, and the children would have been well out of school. The park was a popular get-together for them, but no matter how hard I strained my ears, I couldn’t hear anything other than birdsong; no shouting of horseplay or make-believe adventures.
I sat up to confirm my suspicions, only to find that there weren’t any adults around either. I was the only person in this wide, empty park.
I shuddered. The Everfree Forest suddenly felt much closer. My blood ran cold with the wind as I scrambled to my feet, nerves on end as I stared the forest down.
Maybe it was just a holiday. Yeah… I never bothered to ask if any were coming up. Maybe everyone was just back in town. Maybe Lyra could explain everything.
I walked back to town at a brisk pace, stealing frequent glances behind me to make sure the Everfree stayed where it was. I clamped my mouth shut to stop my teeth from chattering. A pit was forming in my chest, and as I entered the town it only grew deeper.
Once-busy streets were now desolate. I quickened my step as memories of dark storms rolled in the back of my mind. My paranoia was rising. Rainbow’s words rang in my head. She was off in such a hurry. At the time, I didn’t care to ask where she was going, I was just glad that she had left, but now it was all I could think about. This couldn’t have been a coincidence. What was she up to?
“Hunter!”
My paranoia melted away with a simple call of my name. I turned, and down the road to the marketplace, Lyra stood waving with an eager grin. I chuckled, mentally scolding myself for jumping to such wild conclusions, but as I glanced around once more, I noticed we were still the only two in an eerily empty street.
I took a few steps towards her. “So, what’s, uh… How’s it going, Lyra?” I tried to ask nonchalantly. “Haven’t seen you since lunch. Didn’t miss anything too big, did I?”
Rather than answer, her smile simply broadened before she turned and galloped off. She passed two streets before disappearing into another, leaving me in a vulnerable confusion.
With only a small hesitation, I broke into a jog after her. I wasn’t in the mood for this. As I chased after her, I felt the stares of eyes digging into my back from the darkened homes around me, but I didn’t dare check to confirm my suspicions.
I turned the corner just in time to see Lyra wave and disappear behind another. “Lyra!” I groaned.
“Come on, Hunter!” she called back. “You’re running late enough as it is!”
“Running late for what?” I demanded, jogging after her again. It was pointless, though; she had probably run far enough ahead to not hear my shout.
It was like a game to her. She would wait just long enough for me to catch up to the last turn before taking another. Lyra’s four hooves had an advantage over my two feet, and she knew it. She was leading me somewhere, that much I was sure of, but to where and why was beyond me. I chased her through Ponyville to the town square, and by the time I reached the bridge that crossed the small creek running through the town, she was already waiting patiently for me at the front doors to the town hall.
She flagged me to follow her and disappeared inside, closing the door quickly after her. I allowed myself to slow down to catch my breath. As the building loomed over me, I couldn’t help but wonder why Lyra led me here and what waited inside.
I shook my head. “It’s Lyra,” I reminded myself. “What’s the worst it could be?” I thought of what I said, though… and who I said it about, and I took in a breath to brace myself. Gathering my nerves, I reached out to the handle and pulled the door open.
It was dark. The last orange rays of the sun barely crept inside, offering me no help. Against my better judgement, I crept inside, waiting for Lyra’s trap to spring. It was black as pitch; someone had blinded the windows, making sure no light trickled in. If I strained my ears, I thought I could hear whispers.
“Um, Lyra?” I called nervously.
I jumped as the door slammed behind me. Something loud popped overhead, and the lights sprang to life, assaulting my eyes with a vast array of color as a multitude of ponies were revealed. In the middle of it all stood my small circle of friends, each sporting a smile brighter than all the others. I fell to the seat of my pants as the atrium full of ponies sang out a single word.
“Surprise!”
Obligatory party chapter is obligatory. Don't worry, I'll make it painless. 
Jokes aside, though, I know this is pretty cliche, even for when I first posted it. But it was part of the original version, and I had so much fun with it, it would have felt wrong to leave it out. It's going to go under heavy reconstruction to fit the new narrative; in fact, I'm going to be tearing it apart and working from the ground up for most of it. I'm gonna keep it short and to the point, and as recompense for all the torture, I figure it's only fair to pay it back to Twilight and her friends. This infamous "punishment" chapter will be release along with the next; it will most likely be nestled in between Trials and Errors and No Man's Land. To those I've asked to check it out before I fully post it, I haven't forgotten about you, and I hope you all are still up for it after all this time 
Coming Soon:
Act II: Party Foul
Side Chapter: Pony Paradigms
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I really like that this story doesn't seem to have a goal or endgame, keeps ya guessin', and I really can't complain cuz the story is good anyways 😊
I'm really liking this newer version of Human Nature compared to the original. It gives way more detail and doesn't seem as rushed as the first take was.
The only thing i can nitpick about is that i think that Hunter could be just a little bit more resentful considering just how much he has been through, but that is all rendered mute by how tense and intriguing Hunters inner monologues are. I really like the balance between being justifiably resentful towards the main 6, but still being kind enough to try and move forward.
This is probably the best chapter of Act II so far and i am exited to see what will happen next both regarding Discords eventual appearance and to see how Hunter will move forward with the rest of the main 6 (especially Twilight).
P.S. I am still up for reviewing the side chapter
So... Full-blown panic and run? It's a trap after all.
Ooh Ooh! When dies that punishment chapter come out!? I've been waiting to see it for so long!!! Xp
Ominous circumstances; I'd be leaving Dodge before ya knew it!
As cliche as this trope is, In this story, I’d say it fits excellently where it is.
I imagine, or hope that theirs gonna be some kinda blow up. I think Hunter's been bottling up all of his anger, frustration, indignation over all of the misunderstandings, being held captive, tickle-tortured, and being used as a social test subject by Princess Celestia. That he's just gonna come out in his frustrations and lay out all that's been done. "I'm sick of this place, and I'm sick of you ponies!! I never want to see another pony as long as I live!! I just want to go home, where everything is normal and I don't end up being hunted down like some kind of monster that has to be killed"
I’m honestly not too bothered about seeing the ponies face punishment. I want to see them face justice, have to face the consequences of their actions and learn from them.
Sweet, I was just about to ask about an ETA on the chapter that had the "discussion" Celestia and his transgressors had on the day of the trial.
Neither Hunter nor the audience can ever really get around to forgiving them if we don't see when, how, and why they realized they were wrong and how they reacted and thought about that, after all. The scene illustrating the whole "Are we the baddies?" moment and its aftermath is important to moving characters past the audience's first impressions. So I applaud your decision to take your time with the scene to ensure it went off right.
This was a good chapter, although the shadow of the earlier mess with Twilight definitely hurt my enjoyment of it because I was worried about similar problems showing up again. The conversation with AJ felt about right once I remembered she was on relatively ok terms with him, and the way he took pleasure in Rainbow's pain and was generally very wary of her was spot on with their history.
I'm not sure what your plans are at this point, but you should give serious thought to ripping out the mess we talked about in the library chapter before you write the next chapter because I think this is probably the last point you can do so without a massive rewrite to eliminate what is currently a point problem. That clusterfuck is the only thing I'd call a significant problem with this story, but it is such a disaster that I go into every chapter expecting to have to dump the story and cannot possibly justify giving this story a thumbs up no matter what else you do, so this is definitely something you should seriously consider fixing before you lock it in and wreck the entire story.
Just noticed this story has reached 1,100 likes
Good job Blank Page
Cannonically speaking, the beginning chapters are not believable. The idiot could have avoided so much trouble if he bothered announcing himself and trying to talk. If a grumpy griffin and a boisterous minotaur don't get run out of town on sight, a human could at least get a chance to explain himself.
Although if that voice in his head giving bad advice is Discord, then his bad sense early choices make more sense.
There is no bad cliche only bad execution and you made it work.
8760640
I know!
I got a little too excited when I saw. Had a nice spring in my step the rest of the day
8760439
Alright, I'm gonna level with you, man, since the only thing I've learned from our last "discussion" is that I can't be lighthearted and joke with you. As far as I could tell, your primary problem with that "clusterfuck" of a scene is that it existed in the first place, and I remember I said I disagreed with your reasons. Now, I suppose I didn't state why I disagreed very clearly because in your response you just locked back in to why you thought it was wrong, and that's on me, so I'm going to try to remedy that.
I think it was a necessary scene. Here we have two rivals who were previously at each other's throats, and now that they are both part of the same civilization, shackled and restrained by the same laws, we get to see the lingering resentment and hatred towards another. We get to stick these two characters under a microscope and watch them squirm and writhe and seethe, knowing full well that any action they take against each other will have heavy consequences. And Hunter not knowing that Twilight lived in the library was the perfect setup.
Now, I don't know about you, and maybe I'm the oddball in this, but whenever I was in high school (which the main character currently is and I tried to build the mindset around), I never went out of my way to learn where every asshole I knew lived so I could avoid them, and I grew up in a really small town; it wouldn't have been hard. Granted, yes, no one ever tried to kill me, so I don't have a lot of experience with how to deal with people like that, but I always hung out with my friends, whether it be at their place or mine, and get the assholes out of my head rather than stew over them. So with my limited experience, I couldn't imagine any realistic way Hunter would just sit Lyra down at one point and say, "Hey, tell me where these people live so I can avoid them."
So, I'm going to reiterate and rephrase what I said last time so you don't mistake it as a "vague promise" again. I have three more Acts left to write for this story, each with their own silly hoops I need to pull of and jump through, so I'm not too worried about that "clusterfuck" at the library. If that "clusterfuck" was the only significant problem so far as opposed to all the other chapters I was worried about, then I think I'm doing pretty damn well. I am not going to remove that scene. At most, I'm going to edit some of the dialogue between the Hunter and Twilight to better run with whatever conversation she had with the princess.
I'm not going to rope you down into a chair and force you to read it, though. If you honestly think that one scene is capable of ruining the rest of the story for you, then by all means, there's the door; I hope you've enjoyed the ride up until that point. But if you're going to stick around, I am going to ask you to trust me as a writer to pull this off and quit making silly, hollow threats that you'll "dump the story" since you "cannot possibly justify giving this story a thumbs up" no matter what I do. I've already rewritten this story one too many times, and I'll be damned if I ever do it again. Because if there's anything I've learned from my last rewrite, it's that I should listen to my audience for guidance if I go too far with anything in my stories, but I should never mold it to satisfy one or two people's complaints.
8765587
Yes, of course Hunter and Twilight need to talk eventually. That is a very different thing from slamming it right at the front of his time in Ponyville which is what you did here. It is something that needs to be built up to because she was the ringleader of his torment and by far the single biggest problem, so you needed to take time to properly get there, not blast him with a mountain of artificial stupidity to force it to happen right up front because even if he didn't specifically ask, the reactions of the others to him talking about the library made it crystal clear that there was something significant there he wasn't aware of (which I absolutely would have found out in high school) and should have drawn a question which gives him the same knowledge. Besides, confrontations like this are a lot more meaningful if it is done willingly, not blindly stumbled into, so not only is the way you handled this a direct mess because of how you approached it, but it also robs you of the opportunity to do a much more impactful first conversation later on.
As for a rewrite, the entire reason I pointed it out is that you don't have to do a rewrite to change it now. You just pull that chunk out to modify for later use, do a bit of stitching to reconnect what's left, and you're done. That's a quick edit, not a rewrite. It will only become a rewrite after the next chapter when you tie things back together with the party, so do not claim I am asking for anything major at this point because my goal here is to help you make a major improvement without much effort before it's too late.
8765716
Look, I can tell we're not going to convince each other one way or another on this anytime soon. Rather than cluttering up the comment feed on this story, how's about we move this to the private messages so we can hash this out better? If you've really read the original version, then I can talk a little more freely about some of my reasons without spoiling it for anyone else.
8765760
That works, and while I haven't read the original version, I'm fine with spoilers so you may as well PM me at least the broad strokes of your current plan because I'll probably need the extra information to see how to fit this back together effectively since it sounds like you are clinging to a flawed older plan here.
That was absolutely SUPAWESOME! It's rare to find a good "Human in Equestria" story without getting too cliche or the same scenario all over and over again. Looking forward to what comes next
there is a YouTubed called skijaramaz that still has the readings of the old version chapters of this story that is still up. He also has the newer version of the story if you ever want to hear a audio version of this.
So is the food fight scene not gonna be in the revised version then and replaced along the lines with a more serious conversation?
Yeah, sure. Give the guy with PTSD a surprise party. This is going to go swimmingly.
8760899
I'm sure Hunter was mulling over the wonderfully polite and moving introduction he was going to give to the ponies while they were trying to murder him.
Because, as we all know, a random alien creature wandering out from the most dangerous location on the planet is on the same threat level as an old friend from school and a motivational speaker.
8777968
Your snark is magnificent.
It's killing me not knowing how Celestia punished Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.
I don't have my hopes up.
8920986
Look, if they really didn't anybody to come in, they would've locked the door.
They knew something was out there but left the door unlocked anyway.
Is this dead?
8922908
I swear, if I kick it right, it looks like it's still breathing. Just give it some more time, I got in a weird funk for a while
8923367
Kick it in the nads, it’ll do more than just breathe
8925549
Hmm, this calls for a better shoe... Think this'll do?
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/zombie/images/b/bf/Shoe_knife.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160404081928
8926012
Hell yeah
8777968
While being terrified of the aliens that are chasing you is understandable, not even trying to communicate when you have nowhere to go was kind of forced.
Though the bigger pill to swallow for me was the sheer single minded brutality the girls employed at hunting him down. It just felt so... forced to make the girls seem like such terrible ponies, and then afterwards when every one of them except Fluttershy kept being hyper paranoid about him (especially, ironic given how Fluttershy had the best reason of all not to trust him after what happened to her twice) despite other ponies trying to explain his circumstances. It all feels rather... flanderized, as if the girls were being possessed by windigo's and we're only now starting to see the actual ponies we know and love.
8960728
I dunno about you, but I don't try to communicate with people who introduce themselves via cannonballs and flying tackles.
That I'll agree with.
8964103
I would. I mean, I wouldn't get much further than "please don't kill me I don't want to die please please please", but I'd be communicating.
i hunger for MORE
When next AWESOME update!?
when next AWESOME update?
As Soap would say "Dogs? I hate dogs."
Everyone, just calm down.
I bet the next chapter is on the way, just look....
media.giphy.com/media/AOBSDDpXmIOIM/giphy.gif
May we have a moment of silence for another seemingly dead story.
please continue making this
Almost a year since the last update... It's so sad when a good story ends like this
GG WP, Sad to know that this story is abandoned...
Press F to pay respects please.
I can't remember if I started this story before. Well, if I have then I'll re-read it.
9529768
While I am, in fact, aware of that, I could not pass up the opportunity for a joke.
9524368
F
I really hope he finishes this
9551161
F