//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Once An Ed, Always An Ed // Story: Ed-ventures in Equestria // by Gallant Tempest //------------------------------// “…‘thus, the magical energy is channelled through the horn of the unicorn – which, when combined with the intrinsic thought processes relating to the spell, allows them to’…” Double D trailed off and sighed, gently closing the book and drumming his fingers against the cover as he turned towards the window with a distant gaze. Two days had now passed since the Eds had first found themselves mysteriously transported to Equestria. Though the denizens of Ponyville had been slightly wary of their presence at first, the party thrown by Pinkie Pie had alleviated the majority of the townsponies’ concerns, and they soon welcomed the Eds with cheerful enthusiasm. Despite the short amount of time spent in Ponyville thus far, the Eds had managed to adapt to their roles in the community rather swiftly. Ed’s presence had become a welcome addition over at Sugarcube Corner, despite one or two initial misgivings from the Cakes – which, naturally, included Carrot Cake passing out from sheer shock at the whole ordeal. With the occasional bit of guidance from Pinkie Pie here and there, Ed soon became rather adept at baking, increasing the bakery’s productivity by a reasonable amount. Over at the Golden Oaks Library, Eddy and Double D had settled into their roles, too. Eddy scarcely did anything productive, of course, often preferring to laze around and relax unless ordered otherwise – save for the rare occasions when he would cryptically lock himself away in the bedroom for great deals of time. On these occasions the frantic scribbling of pen on paper could be heard from outside, but when queried on it by the others Eddy would quickly deny such activities, attributing the sounds of scribing to their own imaginations. Conversely, Double D helped out wherever he could, assisting Twilight and Spike in the organisation of the books, as well as helping Twilight process a new shipment of various literary supplies at one point. When not assisting Twilight in the running of the library, Double D spent his time reading through as many books detailing the ways in which Equestria functions as possible – particularly those relating to unicorns and the theories behind their use of magic. Double D had, in fact, been engaged in such an activity mere moments ago, curled up on the reading chair located in the library’s lobby. Still gazing outside the window, Double D let out another dispirited sigh. While recent events had led to quite a boon on the Eds’ good fortunes, he couldn’t help but feel slightly disheartened at the lack of means with which to return home. Memories of life back in Peach Creek ricocheted around his mind, and faint tears began to form in his eyes as he considered how those he knew back home, including his parents, would be reacting to his disappearance – and whether or not he would be able to see them again. “…Double D? Double D!” He was suddenly snapped out of his trance by the sound of a voice calling his name. He turned to face the source of the disturbance, and his view fell upon none other than Twilight Sparkle, who was staring at him with a look of great concern. “Is…is everything alright?” she asked, her voice tinged with worry. Double D sniffed and wiped his eyes, quickly adopting a rather forced smile. “Yes, of course,” he lied, “Why wouldn’t I be? Everything’s just dandy, don’t you worry.” Twilight fixed him with a skeptical look. Double D’s smile faltered, and he closed his eyes as he sighed yet again. “Alright, fine…perhaps that statement is a bit of a mistruth,” he admitted, reopening his eyes and staring off into space with his head hung low. “In all honesty, things are going rather well. My fortune has taken a turn for the better, as have Ed and Eddy’s, and the three of us have ventured into a community where we’ve not only found productive roles, but we’ve been welcomed into said community far more warmly than I could have ever hoped for.” He lifted his head and looked towards Twilight, who gave him a sympathetic nod but said nothing. Nodding in return, he took another deep breath and continued. “Despite this, however…I can’t help but feel homesick. With no discernible timeframe for a solution to our dilemma of dimensional misplacement, I can’t help but feel somewhat worried; worried for my parents and those who I knew back in my own world, and how they will be reacting to our disappearance…not to mention whether or not I’ll see my beloved mother and father again…” He gave Twilight a sorrowful look. After a few moments, she gave him a sad smile and comfortingly placed a hoof on his shoulder. “I understand where you’re coming from, Double D. If I was in your situation, I have no doubt that I’d be feeling the same way,” her smiled faded as she continued, “However, there really isn’t much we can do about it right now. I’m sorry.” Double D nodded in understanding, “That’s quite alright, Twilight. Your attempts to comfort me are appreciated.” Twilight smiled softly, and nodded towards the doorway, “Listen…you’ve been cooped up here in the library since the party, and haven’t really been out all that much. Why don’t we go out for a walk to the market or something, and you can get some fresh air? It’s almost lunchtime anyway, and there are a few things I need to pick up.” Double D considered this for a moment, “Well, a brief midday venture outside could be just what I need to lift my spirits. In fact, it sounds like a delightful idea. Why not?” Twilight stepped back as Double D got up from the chair, the latter slowly stretching his muscles before gently placing the book down onto the seat cushion. Trotting over to the front door, Twilight levitated her saddlebags onto her back, before enveloping the door in a shimmering aura and opening it with her magic. Double D soon joined her, quickly making his way over to the library’s entrance. As the two of them departed the library, Twilight softly closed the door behind them with her magic. They proceeded through the vacant cobblestone streets of Ponyville in silence for a while, both of them content to take in the idyllic serenity of the calm weather. However, it wasn’t long before Double D abruptly turned to face Twilight with an inquisitive look. “Say, that reminds me…do you know where Eddy is? I haven’t seen him since this morning.” Twilight turned to him with a playful smirk, “Don’t you mean “I haven’t seen him since he almost burnt down the library this morning’?” They chuckled as they both remembered the brief ordeal, in the manner that one sometimes finds humour in a harrowing event a good while after its passing. Indeed, earlier that morning they had all been awoken by the smell of smoke, and had made their way downstairs only to discover that Eddy had been haphazardly attempting to prepare breakfast – citing his primary reason for doing so as being “you haven’t lived until you’ve tried one of my omelettes!” Distressingly, however, his ineptitude with the oven had almost caused the oaken walls of the library to catch fire, at which point Spike kicked him out of the building and proceeded to return to bed for the rest of the day. Once their momentary pause of recollection was over, Twilight nodded and continued, “But to be honest, I’m not sure where he is. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say he probably went to visit Ed over at Sugarcube Corner or something. Maybe we’ll bump into him at the market?” “Perhaps,” Double D replied, shrugging. After a few moments of consideration, he added, “Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen Ed all that much since the party the other day…” “Yeah, I haven’t seen much of him either. From what I’ve heard, though, he’s been a rather helpful addition over at the bakery. Pinkie Pie seems to be enjoying his company, too.” Double D nodded, remarking, “Yes, well…I just hope they’re keeping him away from that Party Cannon…” They both grimaced and shuddered as they recalled the incident. In the short amount of time the Eds had spent in Ponyville, Ed and Pinkie Pie had quickly become the best of friends. So, on the day of the Eds’ welcoming party, Pinkie Pie had elected to show Ed the infamous Party Cannon, and had even instructed him on how to use it. Unfortunately, Ed had been otherwise distracted by his awe towards the device, and had thus failed to enact one of the most vital steps when he tried to activate it. There had been cake frosting everywhere. Double D shook his head and continued, “Yes, well…despite that minor hiccup, I have to say that I felt the festivities went rather well overall. In fact, I daresay this is one of the most welcoming communities that I’ve ever had the fortune of being a part of.” Twilight was about to respond when she found herself interrupted by cries of distant clamour from up ahead. They both turned to see the marketplace a couple of yards before them. In the distance, a long line of ponies were stretching away from a shoddy makeshift stand, several wooden barrels resting by its side. Twilight and Double D immediately recognised the purveyors of the stand; one of them stood by the crates with a look of amused vacancy on his face, while the other had his hands cupped around his mouth, bellowing a wide array of different consumer-enticing marketing cries. Twilight arched an eyebrow and tilted her head in curiosity, “Is that…Ed and Eddy? What are they doing?” Double D’s eyes widened as he slowly placed a hand against his cheek, faintly murmuring, “Mortifying me to no end, I’m sure…” Twilight turned to face Double D, now even more confused, “Huh?” Double D groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, before turning to Twilight with a distraught look, “Well, you see…I’ve told you about Eddy’s infamous ‘scams’, have I not?” Twilight nodded, “You briefly mentioned them before, yes.” “Indeed…well, it looks like he’s trying to use the same tactics again here in Ponyville, swindling the ponies out of their hard-earned finances.” Twilight looked horrified, “He’s conning ponies out of their money? Why would he do that?” Double D winced at this remark, but carried on nonetheless. “Back in the Cul-de-sac, schemes such as these were usually enacted in order to gain us the funds required to purchase jawbreakers,” he abashedly admitted. “But…but that makes no sense! I mean, I guess it might have made sense back in your world, sure, but…Pinkie pretty much gives you all free jawbreakers whenever she can! Why would he feel the need to do this?” Double D turned to look back towards the stand, the sight of his friend tempting ponies and selling them wares centred within his field of vision. Double D’s jaw set, and he glared at the sight before him with a steely gaze of grim determination. “I’m not quite sure…but I will find out, of that you can be certain.” Over at the stand, Eddy waved at another customer as they departed the stall, a mug of cider held in their foreleg and look of joyful anticipation on their face. “Thanks for stopping by! We hope to see you again soon!” Eddy remarked with a cheerful smile. He quickly turned to face his next customer with a disarming grin. “Welcome to Eds’ Cider Stand! Could I interest you in a mug of our cool, refreshing Triple-E Apple Cider?” “…wait, Triple-E? Doesn’t that imply that there are three of you? Where’s the other one?” the mare queried. Eddy scoffed at this and dismissively shrugged, “He’s a little busy elsewhere at the moment, but he’ll be joining us soon,” he calmly explained, before switching back to a more businesslike demeanour. “Now, then…how about that cider?” he winked. The mare nodded and reached into her saddlebags, tossing a few bits coins on the counter. Eddy smirked and turned towards Ed, cupping a hand around his mouth, “Hey, Lumpy! We need another mug of cider here, pronto!” Ed grinned and gave Eddy a thumbs-up, “Pronto is my middle name!” he remarked as he turned towards the barrel. He suddenly paused in deep consideration for a moment, shaking his head and commenting “No, wait…it’s Horace,” before grabbing a nearby mug and filling it with cider from the barrel by his side. As he passed the mug to Eddy, he felt a faint tugging on his jacket, and he turned to see a wall-eyed pegasus mare standing close by. Staring up at him for a moment, she smiled and reached into her saddlebags, pulling out a small chocolate chip muffin with her hoof and offering it to Ed. “Special delivery!” she proclaimed cheerfully. Ed smiled and took the muffin, placing it in his jacket’s pocket as he lightly tousled her mane. “Aw, thank you very much!” he said. He then tapped his chin contemplatively for a moment, before reaching into the other pocket of his jacket and pulling out a piece of buttered toast. Offering it to the pegasus mare, she took it in her mouth and gave him an appreciative smile, before quickly scampering off towards the back of the line. Ed clasped his hands together and smiled warmly as he watched her go. “Aw…ain’t they just precious, Eddy?” he remarked happily. Eddy rolled his eyes and smirked at this as he watched another customer trot away, “Yeah, yeah…whatever, burr-head. Just make sure you keep that cider coming, ya hear? We got a lot of thirsty customers here!” “Roger that, Eddy!” Ed grinned, “Boy, this is the most fun I’ve had since-” “A-hem...” The cough interrupted their banter, silencing them instantly. They both quickly turned to see the source of the noise, and saw Double D standing a few feet away from the side of the stand opposite to Ed’s, his arms folded and his foot tapping rapidly as he bore a vexed expression on his face. “…and just what do you think you’re doing?” he inquired. “Double D! You’re just in time!” Eddy shouted gleefully as he passed a mug of cider over to yet another paying customer, “I’m telling ya, this whole ‘cider stand’ thing is the best scam I ever cooked up! Check it out, we’re rolling in dough!” he gestured towards the bulging sack of coins lying on the floor behind the stand. Double D placed one hand on his hip while he scratched his head with the other, an expression of worried confusion clearly encompassing his visage, “I beg your pardon? Excuse me, Eddy, but are you sure this is legal? Minors aren’t supposed to be selling or consuming cider, as far as I’m aware…” Eddy turned to Double D with a bemused look, “Relax, Sockhead! It all checks out, alright? Y'see, I was kinda wondering about that myself. So, I flicked through one or two of those Equestrian law books over at the library,” he paused, shutting his eyes and shuddering as he remarked, “Man, now that was boring…” Shaking his head, he turned back to face Double D and continued, “Anyways, apparently it’s legal here for minors to drink and sell cider, seeing as there ain’t any alcohol in it. So, we’re in the clear!” Double D visibly relaxed, “Well, if it’s only soft cider, then I suppose that’s alright…” he admitted. Glancing towards the barrels of cider, his brow furrowed as he gestured towards them, commenting, “Though there is one thing that has me perplexed about this whole affair. Dare I ask…where exactly did the two of you procure such copious amounts of high-quality cider in such a brief period of time?” Eddy opened his mouth to respond, but Ed cut him off before he could say anything. “Bric-a-brac, swiped from Applejack!” he giggled mirthfully, quietly adding “Hey, that rhymed!” shortly thereafter. Double D squinted in confusion as he processed this, before his eyes suddenly went wide as he turned to Eddy with a look of unyielding revulsion. “You…you stole the Apple Family’s excess cider intended for the off-season months?!” he screeched in disbelief. Eddy quickly adopted a terrified look and leapt towards Double D, slamming his hand over his friend’s mouth as fast as was humanly possible. He furtively glanced around in distress, though he was soon relieved to see that none of the townsponies had paid any heed to Double D’s outburst. Scowling, he suddenly grabbed Double D by the tip of his hat and pointed a finger at him accusingly. “Listen up, Sockhead,” Eddy growled, “I’ve worked too hard and put too much effort into this scam to let you mess it all up by being a goody-goody two-shoes. Every chance I got over the last few days, I racked my brains trying to think of an idea for a scam, until I finally came up with one that felt just right. And you know what? It worked, and now we’ve finally hit the jackpot!” he grinned, gesturing towards the coin sack with his thumb, “Don’t forget, some of those bits are yours too, y’know.” “So this is what you’ve been planning for in your spare time…” Double D mumbled as understanding slowly dawned in his mind. Frowning, he slapped Eddy’s hand away and took a step back. “I don’t wish to have any part in this, Eddy,” he hissed coldly, “Of all the dishonest, conniving, abhorrent, detestable and morally questionable acts you’ve partaken in, this is by far the worst!” He paused, sighing and shaking his head before despondently continuing, “I mean…what would drive you do this, Eddy? Ever since we’ve arrived in Ponyville, all the citizens of this town have done is extend to us a hand…or hoof, as the case may be…of friendship, giving us a place to stay and aiding us in whichever way they can.” He reopened his eyes and glared at Eddy as he finished, “And this…this is how you choose to repay them? How could you?” Eddy just stared at him for a moment, his expression one of pure incomprehension. Eventually, he shook his head and testily replied, “You…you just wouldn’t get it, Sockhead. You wouldn’t understand.” Double D’s frustrated expression intensified at this, “Then enlighten me, Eddy. Why would you feel the need to…um, to…uh…” He trailed off as his gaze turned towards the line of customers, his angered visage rapidly being replaced by one of panicked terror as his eyes widened and his arms fell limply by his side, his jaw soon falling slack also. Eddy arched an eyebrow, waving his hand in front of his friend’s face – an action which yielded no response whatsoever. Snorting derisively, he readied himself to make a snide remark when his attention was drawn back towards the cider stand by the sound of a customer ringing the service bell that rested on the counter. “Another customer!” he squealed excitedly. Hurriedly returning behind the counter of the stall, he slicked his hair back and put on his most businesslike air of authority. “Greetings, and welcome to Eds’ Cider Stand!” he began confidently, his eyes calmly shut, “How may I help y-” As Eddy opened his eyes, he swore he could have felt the words die right in his mouth, the instantaneous cessation of a sentence that would never have the privilege of being spoken. Stood right before him on the opposite side of the counter was none other than Applejack, a pair of saddlebags resting on her back and her face twisted into an expression of immeasurable anger. Eddy froze, completely and utterly lost as for what to say or do. Twilight soon came trotting up to them, standing besides Double D with a look of bewilderment. “What’s going on here?” she asked. There were several seconds of tense silence. Taking in a deep breath, Applejack unleashed an infuriated sigh before she finally spoke. “Twilight…could ya please explain t’ me why ah’ve got the second coming of the Flim Flam Brothers standin’ right in front of me?” she snarled through gritted teeth. Now Twilight was even more confused, “Wait, what?” She turned to Double D, hoping for an answer. Double D slowly closed his mouth and gently rubbed his temples, steadying his nerves before explaining, “Eddy stole the Apple Family’s excess cider intended for the off-season months. He’s been selling it back to the citizens of Ponyville at an inflated price.” Twilight’s jaw hung low at this, her mind struggling to comprehend what she had just heard as disbelief washed over her, “Wait…he did what?” Eddy took a step back and raised his hands defensively, “Hey, don’t look at me! Ed was the one who nabbed the cider barrels from the cellar!” Ed suddenly looked mortified at this, turning to face Applejack and pointing a finger accusingly at Eddy, “Don’t look at me! I was only doing what Eddy told me to! It was all his idea, honest!” Eddy turned to face Ed, giving him a disgusted look, “Why, of all the dirty, rotten, backstabbing-” “That’s enough, both of you!” Twilight yelled, silencing both of them in an instant. Applejack closed her eyes for a moment and placed her hoof against her chest, taking several deep, calming breaths. When she reopened her eyes, she nodded towards Ed and gestured towards the barrels with her foreleg. “Ed…as a rough estimate, how many barrels’ worth of cider did you guys sell?” Ed placed his hands behind his back and gently kicked at the ground with his foot, saying nothing. “Ed, please,” she pleaded, “How many barrels?” He looked up towards her ashamedly, swallowing hard before admitting, “Uh…about four.” Applejack sighed and let her hoof drop back to the ground, shaking her head. “Alright…that’s more than ah would have liked, but still less than what ah was expecting,” she looked down at the ground thoughtfully for several moments, before turning back towards Ed and Eddy with a grim scowl. “Okay, so here’s what’s gonna happen. You guys are gonna lug those excess barrels of cider back over to Sweet Apple Acres and put ‘em back in the cider cellar. Once you’ve done that, ya’ll are gonna work the farm until you replenish the stock you sold. In addition to that, ya’ll are gonna return every last bit ya swindled from the townsfolk back to ‘em.” She took another deep breath before concluding, “In return for all this, ah’m gonna refrain from pinnin’ ya’ll down and beatin’ the ever-lovin’ tar outta ya for stealin’ mah family’s property right out from under our muzzles. Does that sound like a fair deal?” Ed began to sheepishly nod, while Eddy shook his head in horror. “What are you, nuts? There’s no way I’m letting you take my profits!” he suddenly grabbed the sack full of bits and leapt back, “You’ll never take me alive!” He darted past Ed and the cider barrels as he attempted to escape, while Applejack just growled and narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh no, you don’t!” she yelled, reaching into her saddlebags and pulling out her lasso. She twirled the rope in the air for a few brief moments, before using it to ensnare Eddy around the waistline. Eddy yelped in shock as the lasso tightened around his midsection, before dropping to the ground with a defeated grunt, the sack of bits slipping from his hands and landing close by. Applejack trotted past Eddy – the end of the rope still firmly clenched in her mouth – and began to drag him along as he clawed helplessly at the ground. After a few moments she paused, before turning towards Ed and nodding at him. “C’mon, big fella. You as well,” she said. Picking up a cider barrel, Ed carefully balanced it on his back and slowly made his way towards them, his head hung low in shame all the while. As Twilight and Double D watched them go, they turned to face the line of customers still waiting at the front of the counter, each one bearing mixed expressions of either shock, disgust, or a combination of the two. “Well, it looks like your friends haven’t done themselves any favours,” Twilight observed. Double D simply groaned in response. The two of them stood there in silence for a while, watching as the crowd slowly began to disperse. Eventually, Double D turned towards Twilight and said, “Come on, we should probably go pick up those goods you came to purchase.” Twilight nodded, replying, “Yeah, that’s…that’s probably a good idea.” As they resumed their journey towards the marketplace, Double D stopped for a moment to give one last look at his companions’ ramshackle stall. “Some things never change, I suppose…” he muttered, sighing despondently. The warm evening sun was now slowly beginning to set over Ponyville, blanketing the town in a stunning golden light. Sat inside Twilight’s library, Double D was curled up in the lobby’s reading chair once again, now nearing the end of the book he had started earlier that day. Just as was about to begin reading the final page, however, he was suddenly torn from his literary rapture by a resounding knock from the library’s front door. “I’ll get it!” Twilight called out, trotting from the kitchen over to the front door. As she flung the door open with her magic, she raised her eyebrows in surprise as she saw Applejack stood a few feet outside, with Ed and Eddy stood close by. “Oh! Hey, Applejack! What brings you here at this time?” Twilight asked, eyeing the two miscreant Eds curiously. “They can’t be done repaying their debt already…can they?” “Well, that’s just the thing,” Applejack explained, “Y’see…ah reckon that Ed here’s got the might of six grown stallions, give or take. Why, with his help we managed to not only replace the four barrels’ worth of cider these two sold off to the townsponies, but we even ended up making a couple of extra barrels too!” “That’s great news!” Twilight exclaimed. Applejack nodded, continuing, “Ah also spoke to some of the folks around town, tried to see if ah could get ‘em to forgive these numbskulls for what they did. Whether or not they will is another thing entirely, however…” By this point Double D had joined Twilight’s side in the doorway, and at this remark he fixed Applejack with a perplexed look. “Huh? Pardon me, Applejack, but why would you try and clear their names for such a misdeed, even after all the duress they put you through?” he inquired, pausing before quickly adding, “Not that I don’t greatly appreciate it, mind you…” Applejack blushed and looked away bashfully, “Ah, shoot. It were kinda hard to feel mad at ‘em after they put in so much work trying to make up for what they did,” she stopped for a moment, before turning to glare at Eddy and adding, “Well, for all the work Ed put in, anyways…” Eddy folded his arms and stuck his tongue out at her, before turning away with an indignant grunt. Applejack just sighed and shook her head, turning back to Twilight as she continued. “Ah also felt kinda sorry for ‘em, considerin’ that they’re stranded in a completely different world to their own right now. Ah mean, goin’ through somethin’ like that can lead somepony to do all sorts of crazy things without thinking ‘em through, y’know?” Suddenly, she trotted over to Eddy, scowling as she leant right up to his face. “But let’s get one thing straight, ya hear?” she growled, “If ya’ll try a stunt like that again…ah swear, ah will make ya regret it. Do ah make mahself clear?” Eddy gulped and nodded, raising his hands cautiously, “Y-yes, ma’am.” Applejack smiled and took a step back, quickly returning to her jovial demeanour. “Good. Now if ya excuse me, it’s almost suppertime, so ah’d best be gettin’ back to the farm,” she turned to face back towards Double D and Twilight and nodded, “See ya’ll later!” And with that she was gone, cheerfully cantering away towards Sweet Apple Acres. Ed and Eddy swiftly made their way towards the library’s front door, entering the building after Double D and Twilight. Once they were all inside, Twilight closed the door behind them with her magic, and turned to face the trio of Eds. “Man, what a slave driver!” Eddy complained, cricking his back and grunting, “That was even worse than the time we had to work for Rolf!” “Aw, come on, Eddy! I thought it was fun!” Ed quipped, clapping his hands together gleefully. Eddy glared at Ed and commented, “You’d probably have fun watching paint dry, Lumpy!” “In any case,” Twilight said, interrupting their banter, “Did you learn anything from your experience today, Eddy?” “Yes, I’m sure today’s events were rather…educational, to say the least,” Double D added. Eddy cast his gaze away from the others and groaned. “Yeah, I learnt somethin’, alright. If you’re gonna pilfer someone else’s goods and sell ‘em as your own, make sure ya don’t get caught in the act,” he grumbled. Double D facepalmed and shook his head, “Oh, Eddy…” Twilight just furrowed her brow and remarked, “Huh…well that wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I mean, it’s not really the sort of thing I could put in a letter to the Princess, now, is it?” The Eds all stopped instantly at the mention of the Princess, slowly turning to face Twilight with looks of wary puzzlement. After a few moments of silence, Double D spoke up. “…I beg your pardon? Twilight, what exactly do you mean by ‘letter to the Princess’? Twilight’s eyes widened as realisation hit her like a piano to the head, “Wait…I never mentioned it to you?” Double D arched his eyebrow, and as he spoke his voice was clearly filled with apprehension, “Never mentioned what to us, Twilight?” “I, uh…I’m sort of, uh…Princess Celestia’s star pupil. I guess you could say that I’m her protégé, in a way. That’s kind of why I live in Ponyville, actually. She sent me here from Canterlot so that I could make friends and learn about the magic of friendship; whenever I learn something new I’m supposed to send her letters informing her of what I’ve learnt, in order to prove that I’m progressing in my studies,” she explained, nervously noting the Eds’ increasingly vexed expressions. After another discomforting period of silence, Double D spoke up once again. “…you mean to say that all this time, you could have sent a letter to Princess Celestia herself…one of the ruling diarchs of this land, a being with potentially untold powers, and someone who is more likely than anyone else to aid us in finding a way home…and you never even once considered informing us of this?” he stated with a calm demeanour, though it was quite clear from the tone of his voice that he was feeling anything but. Twilight flinched as she took a step back, her ears drooping as she looked away bashfully, “I-I’m so sorry…I honestly can’t believe I never thought to tell you guys about this. I guess I just got so caught up with you guys being here, I never considered that the solution to our problem was right before my eyes. I’m sorry.” Double D took in a deep breath, visibly relaxing as he exhaled. “That’s…that’s quite understandable, Twilight. We all tend to make mistakes now and then, I suppose,” he admitted, smiling softly. Twilight returned the smile, before quickly standing at full attention, “Don’t worry, guys. I promise I’ll make this up to you. I’ll get a letter sent to the Princess right away, informing her of the situation.” She quickly cupped a hoof to her mouth and called upstairs, “Spike! Spike, could you come downstairs a moment?” Spike soon appeared at the top of the stairs, stretching his arms in the air and yawning; Twilight frowned as she saw this. “Wait a second…are you telling me that you actually slept through the whole day?” Spike gave her a dumbfounded look, “When I said I was going back to bed for the rest of the day, I meant it. Did you really think I’d make something like that up?” Twilight looked disturbed, commenting “You…but I…that’s just…” before simply sighing and shaking her head, “Never mind…Spike, could you help me write a letter to the Princess telling her about our situation with the Eds?” Spike recoiled as he reached the bottom of the stairs, and he turned to Twilght with a look of confusion, “Wait…you mean to tell me you haven’t done that already? How could you forget to do something so important? Not to mention something so obvious.” “That’s what we were thinking!” Eddy remarked. Twilight glared at him, but elected to say nothing. Instead, she nodded towards the kitchen doorway and said, “Come on, Spike. Let’s go get that letter written.” As the two of them made their way into the kitchen, Eddy scowled and turned to face Ed and Double D. “So all this time she could have just sent a letter to that Princess-whoever and gotten us home right away, and instead she completely forgot she could do that? Talk about getting your priorities straight…” Double D looked towards Eddy sadly and remarked, “To be honest with you, Eddy, I’m not entirely happy about this turn of events either…but what’s done is done, I suppose. I mean, at least she’s trying to rectify her mistake now, right?” Before the trio could continue their conversation, they were interrupted by the sound of the front door being flung open. They turned to face the doorway and saw a pristine white unicorn trotting into the room, her mane a vivid indigo and her haunch bearing a cutie mark comprised of a triad of diamonds. “Twilight, where are you? I’m terribly sorry to barge in on you like this, but I really need…oh, my!” she began, stopping as soon as she noticed the three Eds stood in the centre of the room. “Oh, I’m so, so sorry about this! Please forgive me…I do hope I’m not interrupting anything.” “No, not at all,” Double D assured her, “I take it you’re one of Twilight’s friends, correct?” “That is indeed correct, though I am rather surprised that you don’t seem to remember me. I believe we met at that little soirée Pinkie Pie hosted the other day?” Double D scratched his chin in thought for a moment, before his eyes widened in realisation. “Of course, I remember now! You’re Rarity, that unicorn who runs the boutique over by the park, yes?” he exclaimed. Rarity smiled and nodded, “That’s absolutely correct, darling. I am Rarity, Ponyville’s premiere fashion designer, creator of all that is chic, unique and magnifique. In fact, that’s actually why I’m here right now…you see, I’m currently in the midst of creating an outfit for a client based on some of the designs that were once used back in the pre-classical era. I was hoping to ask Twilight for a book relating to the subject, so that I may use it as a reference for my own designs.” Double D smiled, “Well, I could help you, if you like. Twilight’s otherwise preoccupied at this current moment in time, so I’d be more than happy to help you find what you’re looking for.” “Thank you most sincerely, Eddward.” “Please, call me Double D. Almost everyone does.” “Alright, then…thank you, ‘Double D’,” she winked, giggling. Double D chuckled in return and made his way towards the bookshelf, leaving Rarity to speak with the other two Eds. She turned to face Eddy, carefully looking him up and down. “I’m supposing that you would be Eddy, is that correct?” Eddy struck a pose and pressed his thumb against his chest, beaming proudly, “The one and only!” He paused for a moment before adding, “Want my autograph?” Rarity raised her eyebrow quizzically, “Er…perhaps some other time, darling…” Shaking her head, she turned to face Ed with a cheerful smile, “Then by process of elimination, that would lead me to assume that you must be Eh…must be…Eeehhh…” She rapidly trailed off, her eyes widening in horror as she quickly clamped a hoof over her muzzle and pursed her lips, “Good grief! What is that absolutely repulsive odour?!” she shrieked. Ed grinned happily and carefully reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the most ungodly and repugnant block of pressed milk curd known to creation. “Aw, that’s just my lucky cheese chunk, Sheldon!” he chirped gleefully, momentarily tapping his chin in thought before remembering to add, “…um, junior.” Had her fur not already been white, the sight of Sheldon Junior would have drained Rarity of all her colour an in instant. Her pupils shrank as she quickly slammed her eyes shut and moved her hoof over mouth, placing all her effort into ensuring that the meals she had consumed earlier that day didn’t decide to make a hasty retreat in the direction from whence they came. Eddy shot Ed a look of pure revulsion and yelled, “Oh, jeez! Not that stupid cheese chunk again! Ed, put that thing away before it stinks the whole library out, you numbskull!” Ed glared at Eddy as he carefully placed Sheldon Junior back into his pocket once more. “You’re just jealous that you don’t have a lucky cheese chunk, Eddy,” Ed protested, folding his arms and sticking out his tongue. Rarity slowly reopened her eyes and placed her hoof over her chest, coughing delicately before taking several deep breaths. Eventually, she turned towards Double D with a look of pure bewilderment. “Goodness, gracious me…how do you cope with the fact that he carries that…that thing around in his pocket on a daily basis?” she wheezed. Standing by the bookcase, Double D placed the book that was in his hands back on the shelf and gave her a sympathetic look, “It’s something that you eventually grow accustomed to, I suppose…” Eddy shut his eyes and shuddered, “Yeah, don’t I know it…” he muttered. Double D nodded and continued, “Ultimately, however, minor trivialities such as these become part and parcel when in the presence of someone like Ed, especially given the rest of his demeanour,” he turned back to the bookshelf and continued his search for Rarity’s book. Upon hearing this, Rarity turned back to Ed and gave him a swift once-over, tensely noting his unkempt appearance and how the rancid, pungent stench of body odour still permeated her nostrils – even without the aid of the rotting lump of curd resting in his pocket. “Yes, I-I can see that quite clearly...” Rarity admitted, “While I must say that Ed has a rather, er…unique style in regards to how he dresses, I feel as though I must inquire…have you ever tried doing anything new in relation to your appearance, Ed?” Ed curled his hand into a fist and placed against his chest, beaming proudly, “Nope! Been wearing the same ol’ shirt and slacks since the day I got ‘em, yup.” Rarity’s left eye began to twitch slightly as she processed this new information, but with great diligence she still managed to retain her overall composure. “I see…well, why don’t you allow me to try making you some ‘new threads’, as it were? A change is as good as a rest, so goes the old saying, and I’m sure that conjuring up something eye-catching and appealing to suit someone of your stature would prove to be a rather enjoyable challenge. What do you say?” Ed placed his hand on his chin for a moment, slowly drumming his fingers against his chin as he contemplated this. Eventually he raised his arm triumphantly in the air, index finger outstretched as he proudly proclaimed, “Sounds good to me, whatever you just said!” Double D soon wandered back towards the group, holding the book out to Rarity, “I believe this is what you’re looking for?” Rarity levitated the book into the air with her magic, smiling warmly as she did so. “Perfect! Thank you ever so much for your help, Double D. I truly appreciate it,” she turned to Ed and continued, “And you, dear fellow, can meet me at Carousel Boutique tomorrow morning. I assure you, by the time I’m done with you, you will look simply divine! Now, I really must get going. Farewell!” With the book in tow, Rarity turned towards the entrance doorway and exited the library, slowly closing the door behind her with her magic as she went. Mere moments after her departure, Twilight and Spike walked back into the room, a scroll clenched tightly in the latter’s claw. “What’s with all the commotion in here?” asked Twilight. “Ah, that was Rarity stopping by. Apparently she was looking for a book on the cultural trends of the pre-classical era, to help her in designing an outfit for a client. Of course, I offered her my assistance in your stead, seeing as you two were rather busy at the time,” Double D explained. Twilight smiled and began to respond, but Spike immediately cut her off. “Hold it, hold it, hold it! Are you telling me that Rarity came over here for a visit, and you never bothered to let me know?” he cried in disbelief. “My apologies, Spike…I didn’t realise you were hoping to speak with Rarity. I’ll be sure to inform you of her next visit.” Spike grunted and folded his arms as he glanced away, “Would’ve been nicer if you’d told me about this one…” Noticing the scroll grasped firmly in Spike’s claw, Double D pointed to it and asked, “I take it that this is the letter we’re sending to Princess Celestia, then?” Twilight shook her head and simply said, “Nope, this one’s her response.” Seeing Double D’s bemused expression, she clarified “I send letters to the Princess via magical fire, such as the green dragon fire that Spike can breathe; the Princess sends her responses to me in a similar manner. It’s the quickest and most efficient way for us to transmit messages to one another.” Double D nodded in understanding, while Ed softly murmured a dragged-out “cool”. Eddy groaned and slapped a hand against his forehead, “Augh, enough yammering already! What does the letter say, anyways?” Double D just gave him a wearisome look, “Patience is a virtue, Eddy…though I must admit, I am rather curious as well.” Twilight nodded curtly, “Alright, then. Let’s see what it says.” Levitating the scroll out from under Spike’s claw, Twilight unfurled it in mid-air and cleared her throat as she began to read aloud: My dear Twilight, I am most thankful for your letter informing me of what has happened, though I do wish that you had notified me of these events sooner. At this present time, my sister and I are rather preoccupied, as we are currently engaged in political discussions with some royal dignitaries from Saddle Arabia. As you can probably guess, this means that I am sadly unable to see you at this time. However, I will be free to speak to you in two days, once the discussions have concluded. I will send a chariot over to Ponyville to collect you and the Eds and bring you all back to Canterlot then. You may also bring your Ponyville friends along with you, if you so desire. I look forward to seeing you, and I feel as though we will have much to discuss. Yours sincerely, Princess Celestia There was a brief pause as Twilight quietly gave the letter a mumbled once-over to herself, before lowering it and turning her attention towards the Eds. “So we’re basically stuck here for another two days?” Eddy groaned, wrapping his arms over his head and dramatically flopping down onto his back. “That appears to be the case,” Double D confirmed, “Still, I suppose some progress is better than none at all.” Double D suddenly yawned, hastily covering his mouth after doing so, “Goodness…it is getting rather late, isn’t it? Perhaps we should call it a day.” Eddy stretched and yawned as he got to his feet, “I’m with ya there, Sockhead. I’m beat.” Double D turned to Ed and nodded, “Ed, you’d best head over to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie and the Cakes will likely be expecting you back by now, and you’ll need a good night’s rest if you’re planning on visiting Rarity tomorrow morning.” Spike suddenly snapped to attention, turning to face Ed with a look of pure shock. “What? Not only did I miss out on a visit from Rarity, but Ed got invited to go see her? What’s up with that?!” Eddy turned to Spike with a smug grin and teased, “What’s wrong, Casanova? Afraid ol’ monobrow here’s gonna steal your girlfriend?” Spike’s pupils dilated, and he began to blush furiously, “I-I…I…she’s not my…ugh, I mean, I…AUGH!” He angrily stomped off upstairs as the others watched with varying levels of concern. When he reached the top of the stairs, he snorted and made his way into the bedroom; he slammed the bedroom door shut behind him, causing everyone else to wince at the impact of the door. Twilight turned to Eddy and gave him a disapproving look. “Gee, Eddy…ever heard of something called ‘tact’?” Eddy gave her a confused look and asked, “Uh…ain’t that a type of breath-mint or somethin’?” Twilight sighed and shook her head, while Double D simply rolled his eyes and turned back towards Ed. “As I was saying…you’d best be setting off back to Sugarcube Corner, Ed. You wouldn’t want Pinkie and the Cakes to get worried now, would you? “Yeah! Scram, will ya? Some of us want to go get some shut-eye,” Eddy remarked, yawning as he rubbed his eye. Ed grinned and nodded, waving goodbye to his friends as he made his way towards the door, “Alrighty, then! See you later, alligator!” As he exited the building, he could be heard chuckling softly and faintly murmuring something along the lines of “Hey…that rhymed too!” As Ed closed the door behind him, Double D turned back to the others. Each of them let out a hearty yawn and, after a brief pause, slowly began making their way upstairs – all of them looking forward to finally getting some much needed rest after the tiring events of the day.