• Published 23rd Jun 2013
  • 7,356 Views, 112 Comments

Ed-ventures in Equestria - Gallant Tempest



Crossover between MLP:FiM and Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy.

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Chapter 4: A Rolling Stone Gathers No Eds

The midday sun hung lazily in the sky, gently illuminating the confectionary-themed architecture of Sugarcube Corner. The arrestingly designed building sat proudly in the midst of several houses of common construction and composition, thus giving the structure bold prominence in comparison to its peers.

Shrouded in the murky shadows of an inconspicuous alleyway nearby, Ed stood crouched with a grim expression of determination etched onto his face. He eyed the vibrantly-coloured bakery before him dubiously, well aware of the stealthy nature of the mission at hand. He glanced both ways to see if there were any ponies passing by his location; spying none, he slowly began to creep forwards out of the alleyway…

Suddenly, Eddy kicked his posterior hard, sending him flying forward into the air momentarily before he landed on his head a few feet away, “Move it, ya lump!”

Double D came jogging up from behind with a worried expression on his face, “Oh, Eddy! Must you be so rough?”

Fluttershy and Twilight soon joined them, both looking towards Ed anxiously.

“Yeah…last time I checked, the definition of stealth didn’t include ‘kick your friend in the backside and draw attention to yourself’!” noted Twilight.

“Besides, you could have seriously hurt him, or even given him brain damage!” Fluttershy added.

Eddy started chuckling and turned to them, pointing to Ed, “Brain? What brain? Ed’s all empty space between the ears! Right, monobrow?”

Ed just grinned and continued to lie on his head, “What?”

Double D sighed and facepalmed at this. Twilight shook her head and turned to Double D, pointing to Sugarcube Corner as she spoke.

“Anyway…this is Sugarcube Corner, the bakery where my friend Pinkie Pie lives and works. Like I said before, if we introduce you to Pinkie, she should be more than happy to throw you a welcoming party, and introducing you to the other ponies will no longer be a problem.”

Double D nodded and smiled, “That sounds most wonderful, Twilight. Thank y-”, before pausing and raising his hand, “Wait…did you say ‘bakery’?”

Twilight looked at Double D with confusion, “Why? Is that a problem?”

“Er, well…”

A piercing yell echoed throughout air as Ed loudly made his presence known.

“FI, FI, FO, FUM! I SMELL CANDY AND SWEETS, YUM-YUM!”

In an instant he was on his feet and running towards the bakery with his tongue lolling from his mouth, all thoughts of tact and stealth now long gone. Eddy groaned and began to chase after him.

“Hey! Wait up, burr-head! Ain’t you supposed to be keeping your voice down?”

Double D and the two mares watched as they sped away, all three wearing tired looks of disdain.

“…do those two even grasp the concept of subtlety?” Twilight murmured.

“I’m sure they do, though the way they act sometimes would often lead one to believe otherwise…” Double D sighed. After a few moments of silence, he turned to the others and continued, “Come on, we should catch up to them before they eat your friend out of house and home.”

Twilight nodded with a grimace, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Ed charged into Sugarcube Corner, screeching to a halt on the rug by the entrance as his eyes widened in delight. Before him, he could see all manner of confections and pastries, each one emitting the most alluring and enchanting of scents.

Ed sniffed the air for a moment, before hunching over with a look of pure bliss on his face, “Ah…doesn’t it smell good, Eddy?”

Eddy ran in and was soon by Ed’s side, his angry expression quickly fading as he too partook in the captivating aroma of the bakery’s goods.

“I gotta admit, Lumpy, this stuff don’t smell half bad!”

The two of them hurriedly made their way over to the front display case, Eddy briefly tapping the service bell before cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling, “Hello! Hey, is anyone here?”

Suddenly, a high-pitched feminine voice called out to them, “I’ll be with you in just a second!”

Their attention shifted to the door on their left behind the display case, and as it swung open they saw a mare with a raspberry pink coat and brilliant raspberry mane trot out of the kitchen, a warm and cheerful smile on her face.

Turning towards the counter, she began to say “Hi, how can I help y-”, but suddenly interrupted herself with a shocked gasp before leaping on top of the display case and shoving her muzzle mere inches away from Ed’s face, her eyes wide with excitement.

“Oh my gosh! Who are you? What are you? I’ve never seen you around here before! My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours? Where are you from? Are you moving here to Ponyville, or are you just here for a visit?”

As the joyful pink pony continued to tirelessly ramble at them, Eddy started to back away cautiously. Ed, however, just smiled and began to gently tug at Pinkie’s mane, causing her to cease in her boundlessly enthusiastic tirade.

“Whoa, cool! Is your mane made of cotton candy?” he asked.

Pinkie giggled and shook her head, “No, of course not, silly!” she gasped and cheerfully continued, “Wouldn’t it be cool if manes were edible, though? Then you’d always have a snack in case you got hungry!” her smile quickly faded as a simple realisation dawned on her, “Wait…wouldn’t your mane eventually run out?”

Ed grinned and suddenly clapped his hands together, “But what if it could grow back? Then you could eat it again and again, and you’d never go hungry!”

Pinkie beamed as she turned to face him, grabbing his face in her forehooves, “That’s brilliant! Why didn’t I ever think of that?!”

By now, Double D, Twilight and Fluttershy were standing in the entrance doorway, trying to comprehend the sheer absurdity of the scenario unfolding before their very eyes. Eventually, Twilight cleared her throat, drawing everyone’s attention towards her.

“Pinkie, please get down from there. Ed, stop encouraging her.”

Ed and Pinkie both blushed as they backed away from one another, Pinkie leaping off the display case and trotting towards her pony friends with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry, Twilight. I guess I got a little overexcited. But…” she gestured to the three Eds, “Who are these guys? I’ve never seen anyone or anything like them here in Ponyville before…”

“This is Ed, Double D, and Eddy,” Twilight explained, nodding towards each of them as she spoke their names, “They’re, uh…basically from another world. We tried to find a way to send them home, but our efforts came up fruitless, so they’re going to be staying here in Ponyville for a while. We were hoping you could throw them a welcoming party and introduce them to the other ponies, so that the townsfolk wouldn’t be so scared of their presence in town.”

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically as she took this in, smiling all the while, “Sure, Twilight! That sounds like a great idea!” she turned to face Ed and Eddy and continued, “Don’t worry, you guys. I’m gonna throw you the bestest party that Ponyville’s ever seen! By the time I’m done, everypony will be more than happy to see you guys around!”

Double D smiled at this and nodded towards Pinkie. “Thank you very much, Pinkie Pie. I’m certain the festivities will be most delightful, and I greatly appreciate your assistance in this matter.”

Pinkie turned to face Double D, “It’s no problem at all! I’m happy to help out new friends, especially when…” she trailed off as her smile faded, a perplexed look slowly dawning on her face.

Double D’s smile faded also, and he looked somewhat nervous at the mare’s sudden change in demeanour. “W-what is it? What’s wrong?”

Pinkie slowly trotted past Fluttershy and Twilight and right up to Double D, eyeing him curiously for a while before she spoke.

“Hey…why are you wearing that hat?”

Double D suddenly felt a slight chill run down his spine, and he began to lightly sweat as he furrowed his brow.

“Um, I, er…” he gulped, backing away slowly.

“Where’d you get it?” asked Pinkie, edging towards him.

“Well, y-you see, I…”

“How long have you had it?”

“I, er, th-that’s….”

“Can I see what’s under there?”

By now Double D was sweating profusely, eyes wide with fear as he pressed his back against the wall, “Th-th-that’s n-not really a subject I’d l-like to discuss…”

“Aw…can’t I have just a little peek? Please?”

Everyone else had been watching them with disturbed fascination up until now, but at this point Twilight decided to speak up.

“That’s enough, Pinkie. Can’t you see you’re making him feel uncomfortable?” she said.

“Oh, okay…” Pinkie sighed, flinching. She backed away from Double D and lowered her head, ears drooping as she pawed at the ground, “Sorry, Double D. I didn’t mean to bother you like that. I was just curious, that’s all.”

Double D breathed a sigh of relief and gave Pinkie a calm smile, “That’s quite alright, Pinkie. No harm done.”

As they started to make their way back towards the others, Double D’s foot caught on a loose nail in the floorboards, causing him to trip forwards with a loud slam. Everyone gasped in surprise, and Pinkie quickly turned around to face Double D, accidentally placing her hoof on the tip of his hat in the process.

“Are you okay, Double D?!” she shrieked.

Double D coughed momentarily as he scrambled to gather his bearings, “Yes, yes, I’m fine. No need to worry.”

As Double D got to his feet, he yanked his head back as hard as he could, his hat stretching as it remained firmly trapped under Pinkie’s hoof. Suddenly, there was a loud popping noise as his hat dislocated itself from his head. Standing up to full height, he froze as the realisation of what had just happened struck him like an arrow to the heart, and turned to face the others with a look of unrelenting horror.

Fluttershy’s eyes widened, her legs violently trembling as she hoarsely remarked, “Oh…my…”

Twilight raised a hoof towards her mouth, exclaiming “Dear, sweet Celestia! I…I think I’m going to be…” before galloping out of the store with her eyes tightly shut.

Eddy’s eyes began to water and he turned his gaze away before throwing himself onto his back, legs kicking wildly in the air as he howled with laughter.

Pinkie just tilted her head in curiosity, staring in silence for a few moments before commenting, “Wow…is it real?”

Ed merely raised his eyebrows in surprise, “Whoa…that looks painful, Double D! Can I touch it?”

“NO! That’s quite enough, thank you!” Double D screeched. Snatching his hat from underneath Pinkie’s hoof, he pulled a can of disinfectant out from hammerspace and quickly sprayed the underside of his hat before firmly placing it back atop his head.

Twilight slowly poked her head through the doorway, her face paler than it had been before, “I-is it safe to come back inside? Is his hat back on? Please, please tell me his hat’s back on…”

Pinkie turned to Twilight and smiled, “Don’t worry, Twilight! It’s back on now. You won’t have to worry about seeing-”

“Oh, come now, Twilight!” Double D groaned, cutting Pinkie off, “Aren’t you over-reacting just a tad?”

Before Twilight could come up with a response, Eddy interrupted her.

“Oh, man, Sockhead!” Eddy cackled gleefully, “That was just too rich! You should have seen the look on your face! It was priceless!”

Double D shot him a glare that would have pierced an uncut diamond with ease, “Are we quite through with our jovial jesting?!”

Eddy stopped giggling and got to his feet, grumbling. “Killjoy…”

An awkward silence followed soon after, the way in which the conversation had been derailed leaving everyone feeling too uncomfortable to speak. Eventually, Fluttershy shook her head and turned to face Pinkie.

“Wait a minute…where are the Cakes? With all the noise we’ve been making since we arrived, I would have expected them to have said something about it by now…”

Pinkie looked at Fluttershy and stated matter-of-factly, “The Cakes are out at the moment with the foals, taking them for a stroll around the park. I’m looking after the bakery for them this morning while they’re gone!”

“Oh, wow! They have living cakes here in Equestria too?” Ed remarked.

Pinkie laughed and shook her head at this before turning to look at Ed, “Of course not, silly! The Cakes are all ponies; ‘Cake’ is just their family name! Mr. and Mrs. Cake own and run Sugarcube Corner…they’re the ones who employ me and give me a place to stay!”

With this last remark, Double D jolted as he placed his hand to his chin. “Oh, drat! That reminds me…we don’t really have anywhere to stay here in Ponyville, do we, fellows?” he observed, glancing over at Ed and Eddy.

Eddy frowned and scratched the back of his head, “Now that you mention it, Sockhead…”

Twilight smiled at Double D, “Oh, don’t worry about that. You guys can stay in the guest room at the library with while you’re here in Ponyville.”

Double D beamed at Twilight, eyes watering, “Oh, thank you, Twilight! Really, your hospitality is too much! I promise you, you won’t regret this!”

Twilight continued to smile, nodding before she added, “There’s only one bed, though…so two of you will have to bunk together while the other one uses a sleeping bag on the floor. Is that okay?”

Double D and Eddy momentarily shared a disturbed look, shuddering before deadpanning in unison, “Ed gets the sleeping bag.”

“Aw, no way, guys!” Ed joined in, running over to Pinkie Pie and sweeping her up in one arm, tussling her mane as he grinned, “I’ll just stay here with Pinkie instead, and help out at the bakery!” he paused and looked at her with a nervous smile, “Um, uh…if that’s okay with her, I mean…”

Pinkie grinned and wrapped her forelegs around him in a tight hug, “I’ll have to check with the Cakes, but that’s a-okay by me!”

“Hooray!” Ed exclaimed. Hugging Pinkie back and hopping up and down in place, he tightly shut his eyes in glee, “Oh, this is going to be so much fun! We can stay up late, and eat lots of candy, and we can even tell ghost stories! It’ll be like a home away from home!”

As he made this last statement, Ed immediately halted his bouncing and flung open his eyes. Carefully placing Pinkie back down onto the floor, he gently tapped a finger against his chin as he gazed thoughtfully at the floor, eyes slowly beginning to water.

“Yeah…like a home…away from…home…”

Eddy and Double D looked at each other with worried confusion, before turning back to face Ed.

“…Ed?” Double D queried, “Are you feeling alright?”

Suddenly, Ed fell backwards onto his rump as he started to cry softly, “We can’t go home again, guys! That means no more Mom, no more Dad, no more Sarah, no more comic books, no more TV, no more monster movies, no more jawbreakers!” he wailed, clamping his hands over his eyes in attempt to halt the trickle of tears.

Double D offered him a sorrowful look and explained, “That’s not quite true, Ed. This is only a temporary thing. I’m sure we’ll find a way to return ourselves to our own world eventually, you’ll see.”

Despite this reassurance, Ed continued to sob gently, causing everyone to stare at him with a look of sympathy – except for Eddy. With a frustrated look on his face, he marched over to Ed, hands curled into fists. When he reached Ed, he raised one hand into the air and…

…gently placed it on Ed’s shoulder.

“…hey, Ed?” he said.

Ed stopped crying for a moment and removed his hands from his eyes, looking up at Eddy. He saw Eddy looking at him with one eyebrow raised, a calm smile on his face.

“Don’t worry about it, Ed. Everything’s gonna work out okay, got it? Why, I bet ya we’ll be home before you know it.”

Ed broke out into a huge grin at this, wrapping Eddy into a tight hug, “Aw…thanks, Eddy!”

Immediately, Eddy began to squirm and wriggle in an attempt to free himself from Ed’s grasp, “Hey, hey, hey! Let go, Lumpy, you’re gonna mess up my shirt!”

Ed laughed in embarrassment as he put Eddy back down, before getting to his feet, “Oops, uh…sorry ‘bout that, Eddy.”

Eddy glared at Ed angrily for a moment, before breaking out into a good-natured grin, “Ah, whatever. Just don’t let it happen again, got it?”

Ed wiped his tears away against the sleeve of his jacket, before saluting Eddy with a lopsided smirk, “Roger that, Eddy!”

They all smiled cheerfully at this, until Pinkie Pie suddenly raised one hoof in the air with a serious expression.

“Hey, wait a minute…you said something about jawbreakers, Ed?”

Ed turned to Pinkie and nodded, “Uh-huh?”

Pinkie tapped her hoof to her chin for a moment, before beaming and galloping upstairs, “I just gotta go grab something a sec! Be right back!”

The Eds turned to face Twilight and Fluttershy, who simply shrugged. However, Pinkie was already back before anyone had a chance to say anything. Now resting on her back was a moderately-sized brown cardboard box, inside of which were a triad of three bright white bowling-ball sized spheres – each one rock-hard and coated in an unyielding cascade of sugar. All three Eds snapped to attention as their individual gazes fell upon the box, each instantly recognising the contents within.

“Are those…jawbreakers?!” Eddy wheezed, flabbergasted.

“They sure are!” Pinkie confirmed with a cheeky grin, “They’re usually pretty hard to find here in Ponyville, so I have to special order them in…but I always like to keep a box or two of them around,” she paused, before adding “You know, in case of jawbreaker emergencies.”

Double D shakily raised a finger, smile wide with anticipation, “M-may we…?”

Pinkie turned to him with a bemused look, “Of course! That’s what I brought them down here for! Dig in, you guys!”

The Eds all quickly made their way over to the box, each one grabbing a jawbreaker and quickly placing it in his mouth. As they all let out a collective sigh of contentment, Eddy turned to Ed with a smug grin.

“See? What’d I tell ya, Lumpy? Everything’s gonna work out just fine!”

Ed didn’t hear him, however, as he was far too enthralled in the delectable delight of his jawbreaker to notice. Double D simply smiled; thankful at the prospect that, at long last, their fortunes had finally taken a turn for the better.

Things were looking up.


Eddy was snapped into consciousness by the chirping of a nearby bird. As he got up he took in his surroundings, noting how vastly different they were to those of the night before. His face contorted into a perplexed look, shaking his head as he tried to grasp some idea of what had occurred.

“...where the heck are we?”

As soon as Eddy muttered this, Double D let out a hearty yawn. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes tenderly before glancing around, brow furrowing in confusion.

“Huh? This doesn’t look like our campsite. Where are we?”

Eddy turned to Double D with a bored look, “What are ya, a parrot? I just asked that question only three paragraphs ago!”

Grunting, Double D got to his feet and cricked his back, yelping as he did so. Ed still remained fast asleep, snoring softly as his leg occasionally juddered.

“I’m not sure what to make of this, Eddy. I’ve honestly never seen an area of our local woods quite like this before...”

Eddy growled and stomped over to where Ed was resting, “I bet you ol’ chin-less here went sleepwalking again, and now we’re all stuck in this neck of the woods!”

Eddy raised his leg back into the air for a moment before firmly placing it under Ed’s backside, causing Ed to fly into the air with a somersault. In an instant Ed slammed back down into the ground, softly belching as he awoke with a daze.

“Eggs and bacon, please,” he gurgled happily.

“Way to go, lummox!” Eddy ranted, “It’s not enough that you had to go and screw up my latest scam, but now you’ve gotten us even more lost in the woods than you did before!”

“Actually, Eddy, you may be off the mark a bit there...” Double D interjected, “I’ve been looking at some of the flora around our current vicinity, and none of them seem to match any of the kinds that are local to Peach Creek. In fact, none of them correlate with the botanical species that I remember being listed in my books...”

Eddy gave Double D a look of disbelief, “Wait...so what you’re saying is, we’re in some brand new place that no-one’s been to before?”

Double D winced and turned to Eddy with a hesitant nod, “Now, I don’t think we should jump to any rash conclusions, but the evidence in that regard does seem to be overwhelming...” he paused for a moment, before concluding “...indeed. We may very well be in unexplored territory, gentlemen.”

By now, Ed was entirely awake. He stood to full attention, and proudly wore his jacket once more. He turned to Double D with an excited grin.

“Does that make us adventurers, Double D? Brave explorers, journeying into a bold new world!” he shouted, making a pose as he did so. Double D raised a hand to his mouth and giggled.

“Uh...not quite, Ed,” he admitted, “After all, I only said we may be somewhere uncharted. For all we know, there could be some form of civilisation close by.”

His smile slowly faded as he turned to face Ed and Eddy, the two of them shuddering as they noticed his troubled expression.

“However...I can tell you one thing I’m certain of, fellows,” he stated darkly, “We’re a long, long way from home.”

Eddy slapped a hand against his forehead and groaned, “Oh, great! So now what do we do?”

Double D suggested, “At the very least, we should probably start making our way out of this forest. Time waits for no man, as they say.”

Eddy smiled and clapped his hands, “Come on, then! Let’s get moving!” before he spun around and set off walking.

Double D balked and raised his hand hesitantly, “Wait! How are you sure that’s the right direction? For all we know, that could just lead us deeper into the forest!”

Eddy turned back to face Double D for a moment, “What, you got any better ideas? Let’s go, I ain’t getting any younger!” before carrying on as he did before.

Ed just guffawed and began running after Eddy with a joyful grin. Double D shook his head and sighed as he watched them go. He frowned for a moment in contemplation, before groaning and shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh, what have I got to lose?” he muttered, quickly setting off after his friends.

And with that, the three Eds began their wayward journey through the mysterious Everfree Forest.