Aran huddled in the dark corner of his gloomy cell. His eyes reflecting the light of the torches that did little to illuminate the room. Luna stood a safe distance away with her shadow-guards at her side, holding the remains of the basket that Aran had thrown out a few days earlier. "You will tell me who has aided you in your time here,” Luna glowered at him. “Was it one of the maids or guards who gave you this!?" She shouted angrily with a commanding tone.
"It’s been months and I still don't understand why you even ask, you know I won't give you shit you dried up old cunt!" He retorted back, spitting towards the princess, but her magic stopped the spittle from hitting her, impacting against a magical shield before it disappeared along with the spell.
"You're right." She said as a sinister smirk spread across her lips. "You can hold your tongue, but your mind is but an open book for me to read at my leisure." Her horn glowed as she charged it up to forcefully sift through his mind as she had done countless times. "Let’s take another look, shall we?"
The human braced himself for another session of unspeakable pain. The spell made contact with Aran's mind and he felt like a searing hot nail was being shoved directly through his brain, searing his gray matter, but despite this, the human remained conscious, struggling against the agony. He clawed and pulled at his hair as the spell pushed through him, but this time, he was able to push back. He could even see how Luna was struggling to maintain the spell, beads of sweat forming along her brow, glistening in the torchlight on her fur. Seeing this, Aran forced himself against the spell even more, spurred on by the horse’s strain. More and more she tried to peer into his mind as some sort of magical buildup was pushing her back. Aran was doing his best not to give into the pain, he grit his teeth and balled his hands, his nails drawing blood from his palms as he resisted. As long as he could stay conscious, it meant that she wouldn’t be able to read his mind. Eventually, the internal struggle shifted in Aran's favor and he let out a shout as he pushed harder against the mare. The spell that Luna had worked so hard to maintain, broke away, knocking everyone in the room away from the blast, except the human. He instead fell down to the ground and started puking excessively.
"Highness, are you well!?" One of her guards leant her a wing to lean on and regain her footing.
"I am unharmed." She spoke, trying to maintain her dignity. She saw how the human was reeling on the ground with a pool of vomit beneath him. "I'll be back, and when I return I'll use an even more powerful spell to pry open that simple mind of yours." She hissed with as much venom as she could. Infuriated and humiliated in front of her guards, she stormed out of the dungeon, leaving the human to recuperate from his experience. He raised his head to see that there were two guards stationed, guarding him at all times. Inside his shirt, he had hid the crystal heart. he carefully grabbed it and clutched it closer to his chest, hoping that Cadence would respond. "Your secret is safe with me." He whispered softly, hoping she could hear him.
***
Months had gone by and that time, Aran had received several tokens, given to him in secret by Cadence. Though as the days had gone by, she had started to speak with him less and less. Because of this, the human's body had begun to deteriorate once again. Food was all he could think of, he would kill for a juicy steak. He’d constantly pray to some sort of deity or another that the guards would be stupid enough to come closer to the bars, so he could devour them whole. His condition had started to cost him his sanity. He had been scratching the stone walls for weeks and banging his head on the metal bars for days. The guards were mostly quiet, sometimes there were guards who kept their distance and didn't speak a single word, other times they would constantly try to provoke him. The princesses had tried countless different spells against him. While they could never pry open his brain and look into his memories again, he was often left in excruciating pain, sometimes for weeks. The only time he was granted any form of relief was when he was able to speak with Cadence late at night. Sometimes she would sing him a lullaby to lull him to sleep. It was the only hint of kindness he had received in this place, but now… weeks had gone by and the last thing she had told him was that she was getting married. She cut the magic to the crystal heart and hadn’t spoken a word since.
"Just end it already..." He let out a hoarse whisper. For him, time had lost its meaning. He had no idea how long he had been in the cell. Weeks? Months? Maybe years. He had never seen the city and the single barred window provided a view dominates by a large spire that blotted out the rest of the world. "If there is a God, put me out of my mistery." He whispered to himself under his breath.
The doors of the dungeon suddenly swung open, clanging against the walls as they impacted against them, and from it, a regal looking alicorn walked into the dark prison. The guards quickly snapped to attention as they saw the princess of love. However, one of the wardens of the dungeon quickly approached the princess and saluted her, but also stood in her way.
"Your Highness, what brings you to my cells?" He asked with a respectful tone, but still with a hint of authority.
"I wish to speak with the human." She responded uncaringly to the peon before her.
The warden stood in place, glancing at his guards for a few seconds then returning his gaze towards the princess with a hesitant look. "Forgive me your Highness, but I haven’t received notification that you would be visiting us. I am terribly sorry but without permission from Princess Luna or Princess Celestia, I cannot let you-" Cadence did not let him finish however, as her strong presence cut through the warden's sense of duty.
"I am well within my rights as a princess to go where I wish, and I still have the authority to undermine any order you have been given. Now will you let me through, or should I pick out one of these cells as your new office?"
The warden gave the princess a submissive nod. "As you wish." He said, stepping aside, letting Cadence come through.
"Oh and I also intend to speak in private with the prisoner." The warden was silent for another moment before he nodded again. All of the guards in the dungeon filed into formation and left the princess alone with the human.
The moment Aran saw Cadence, he felt a renewed strength flow through him by some mysterious force. He quickly got back up on his feet and gripped the bars, happy to see his friend again. But his happiness swiftly faded as he felt a cold chill in the room. Cadence wasn't smiling and she didn't speak a single word. She just stared at the towering human. Like he was a stranger. Aran's paranoid instincts kicked in and he began to realize that something was very wrong. The human also noticed something else. Whenever Cadence did visit Aran in the cellar which was a long time ago since she last did, she always smelled of roses. A very noticeable smell, when compared to a foul smelling dungeon. But this time, there was no lovely odor, or perfume. Even after taking several sniffs in the direction of the princess, there was simply nothing. It was gnawing at the human's instincts. Something was terribly wrong and just by looking into the princess's eyes, he could see that whatever that creature was, it most definitely wasn't the Cadence he knew.
"Who are you!?" He asked in with a low growl, making his suspicions obvious.
"Interesting, you are not as easily deceived by my illusion as the others." A green flame enveloped the pseudo-Cadence’s form, spreading over her body and revealing the creature’s true form, a black monstrosity that looked more like an insect mixed with a pony. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Queen Chrysalis, what is your name?" She asked with a wicked smile, revealing her fangs.
"If you managed to infiltrate the crown, I am more then certain you are well aware of who I am and what my name is." He spat back disrespectfully.
She gave a low chuckle. "I do indeed, but there is no need for this…. hatred, I was merely just trying to be polite… which I admit is difficult." She spoke with a piercing gaze towards the human. She was intrigued by the creature, though it was obvious that it had seen better times.
Aran was not amused by this insect pony, although it was good that she had at least kept her distance from him. "Drop the bullshit and tell me, what have you done to Cadence and what do you want from me? If you're here to kill me, do it quickly, if not, spit it out already!"
The Changeling smiled, she found that she rather enjoyed the human's cold and direct approach. "Princess Cadence is being held in a safe place, where she won't be able to ruin my plans." The human started baring his teeth towards the ‘Queen’. Despite his hatred for every single pony, he held Cadence in high regard. "Let’s remain calm now, we are not animals, are we?" She teased behind the safety of the prison bars. Aran did calm down a little bit, because he was still very curious as to what the insect pony had in store for him. "Good." She said, seeing the human back off. "In a few weeks, I will lay siege to this city, I will have all the guards disposed of and the city's defences should crumble in mere minutes."
"But?" He cut in.
The Changeling sighed. "But, as brilliant as I am, I cannot challenge the princesses in terms of magical power… But you..." She spoke, taking a few steps closer, almost within grasping reach. "From what I've read, you are almost completely impervious to any form of magic."
"Making me an invaluable living weapon..." He cut in again. "Why should I help you?" He asked, knowing where this was going.
The changeling queen smiled. "Firstly, I will of course set you free for you to exact your revenge, secondly I'll make you my right hoof, you'll be seen as a king amongst my kind." She took a few extra steps forward, now within reaching distance. "And thirdly, you'll have everything your heart has ever desired." She finished, with her worm like tongue slithering along her fangs, her muzzle was now mere inches away from Aran's. Though her confident cheshire grin quickly formed into a visage of fear and regret as the human reached through the bars and had her pressed in between them.
"Even though I'm barely strong enough to stand, I am still strong enough to break your neck with a simple pull of my arm."
Chrysalis smiled, attempting to hide her fear, yet confident in her silver tongue. "I am certain you can, but you won't. After all, you honestly don't wish to be imprisoned here any longer, do you?" She asked with a sinister smirk, she knew that her words had already convinced the human to fight for her. Aran loosened his grip of the Changeling queen's neck and let her go back to her gloating.
"If I help you, I want you to do something for me."
Chrysalis slithered closer to the cell once more as she was more than thrilled to please her new toy. "And that is?" She asked.
"I want you to spare, Cadence!”
Hell yes, new chapter.
Solid chapter is solid as hell.
That promise is going to be hard to keep, I only really not dis-like 2.
But go ahead.
... Buck.
5442952
aran cant die yet, but i bet that doesnt stand for character likes the main six, or applebloom (god have mercy for whoever hurts her), and other side characters we have seen.
5442978 Hmm I hadn't thought so much about the main six, maybe I'll use your idea >:D
5443002
oops, sorry everyone!
5443009 ...
5443035
i said i was sorry!
5443049 Ah well. 'tis alright. It's not written yet after all.
5443066 You're correct, I can take my time and plan out what I will do with em' >:D
YES! KILL MORE!! MWAHAHAHA
Let me guess, Cadance will die later on.
5443092 I know a creepier laugh.
Thank you, Team Four Star.
5443338 The question is, who won't die later on?
You know, I still don't understand why the ponies are acting that way...
And there went any possible shred of sympathy I could have possibly had left for Luna.
well I'm glad the day
5443380
in this story to celestia there is only black and white, aran killed a guard when I try to escape and kill in Equestria is the worst crime, and is considered too dangerous to be free
she did not consider all the trauma of vivisection or who Aran thought I was being tortured
and Luna wants to prove he can be a good princess stopping the monster and that also seems to be very vindictive about the matter of the failed attempt to enter his mind and his refusal to cooperate with it
twi and the rest of the girls seems not to approve the actions of celestia and luna
5443374
I honestly prefer the karmic punishment, death can be an easy escape
for example celestia he learns the secret of luna and loses his confidence and somehow this mess is filtered to the general publicperhaps by a guard who lost a friend in the exhaust aran and lose their credibility in particular moon or other nations look with new eyes at Equestria
or in a clash with celestia or shining aran manages to cut the horn and let live
or candace dies protecting aran of celestia
or an end not as dark candace is revealed and tries to do the right thing protects aran although this ends with separate rule of Equestria and shinig
The last part of my brain just poped from sheer anger and stupitedy WHY BE SO CRUEL TO SOMETHING FOR LITTRELY NO REASON. Its bound to bite you in the ass. Or in this case evrypony that comes close to him
5443556 But why did they tortured him in the first place and then kept him locked away as a an animal even after finding nothing wrong in his memories?
Hmm nice plot twist.
5443658 they were unaware of its biology and made a vivisection to understand their biology and to cure it, but Aran consider it a form of torture, and resisted all he could and killed a guard, besides his earliest memories (atomic weapons) appalled celestia and I wanted to see in depth but with his refusal to cooperate and resistance to magic, I had to use more powerful spells that damaged his mind when he realized that Aran was harmless, it was too late the had been gone mad
and his imprisonment was administered by luna, her or the guards were those who were torturing Aran as revenge for death of the first guard or lack of cooperation
5443740 So ponies think killing is the worst thing ever but are okay with sadistic torture for months?
Is this an actual Bonus part of the story (I think Canon is the word I'm looking for)? I could have sworn that he escaped during the Wedding due to a Changeling not knowing what he was causing it to open the cell door and try to feed off of him, or am I remembering that wrong?
5443774 we agree they are hypocrites, and to complicate matters celestia walked away from this whole thing and it seems, I leave everything to moon and jailers
This is a nice chapter.
Oh, come on! Don't tell me you are going to be one of those authors that kill characters just for shock value and 'realism'! Storytellers are supposed to have apurpose behind the things that happen, not just kill people because 'some times people just die'!
I almost felt the need to strangle an author like that, but the way said death did have a profound impact in the rest of the characters and provoked them to implement some much-needed changes stayed my hands. We had a little back-and-forth about it, too; the death might have come out of left field, bordering in Diabolus Ex Machina, since it had no purpose behind it other than killing the character "because people just die sometimes", but it was given a meaning in that it became a catalyst for changes and much of the events of the denouement.
Please, think about it before you just start killing characters.
5444592
R.R.M.? No, someone else - curiously enough another pony fic.
Also, drama IS a purpose. One not to my tastes, but a purpose nonetheless. That is turning mortality into a part of the story, although I have seen it done... poorly.
All I ask is to make sure that they aren't getting killed 'just because'.
To be fair the only characters the audience is, at large, wishing to live is cadence and apple bloom. Though I suppose cadence dying just as the others learn of the extent of Luna and celestias crimes against him would be a great bit of cruel irony.
5443658 Because the damage had been done. And as I've explained with a lot of detail several times, the memory spell ability was a causing Aran unimaginable pain and excruciating torment, it also ruined his own memories and messed up his brain. The reason they used this spell was because it was dark in nature, which I've explained, dark magic is easier to use but for a heavy price. Aran's magic immunity started to develop since the moment the guards magically restrained him.
5443788 Hahahah a changeling roughly the size of a small dog wanted to feed on aran xD also, I want to hug a moving train.
No, it was a planned strike to free him from his prison so he could cause havoc and make his way to the wedding ceremony where he was going to kill the princesses, as ordered by Chrysalis.
5445025 interesting, could make a one shot, about aran cooperating with Crisalys, it would be ironic celestia caused the downfall of his kingdom by a human
I can't understand the characters' motivations. Any of them, really. It just seems like a bunch of thin excuses for the main character(I refuse to say protagonist on a matter of principal) to kill things. Every single character seems to either suffer from a severe antisocial personality disorder or is a true psychopath.
Your vision of Equestria would have self destructed long ago, assuming the citizens have the level of freedom implied in the rest of the chapters. Especially assuming the foreign countries have that level of barbarism within such a short distance. Add in the presence of animals that will apparently attack anything at all regardless of self-risk...
Honestly, your entire narrative reeks of the http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrapsaccharineWorld trope. Which works great for some stories when that's the actual conflict(and fantastic for games), but when its just a setting for a story, it tends to fall apart.
The only character that I can even begin to empathize with is effing Shining Armor.
Also, this story keeps being "Shit happens to Gary, Mr. Stu kills things."
Anyways... I'll likely continue reading for at least a bit more of this arc, but this seems like it's one train wreck I need to just look away from.
Oh, Frosthowl...
Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!
5445021 oh oh my friend I have a splendid idea add an angle to the mix and let them judge the princess's for thier crimes like let him tourcher them nail them to a cross and let them whatch just spare cadence let the rest burn the end sould be this ahhhhhhh
Oh, I have no doubt that you'll eventually kill everyone, I was only wondering when!
I'll be straight with you, killing off characters in this story won't have the same effect as Game of Thrones. R. R. Martin kills off likable characters. This story is chalk full of characters I want to see dead anyway. So it would be more of an award, like when Joffrey died, good riddance. Seriously there are only two empathetic characters, Applebloom and Cadence. And if you kill them, I'll find you like Liam Neeson.
5450246 good point, but thanks for at least telling me who to target >:D
5447745 Shining armor: Lost a colleague the first time aran "killed" someone, and was the one to subdue him. After that, he lost his whole bloody platoon in a giant massacre and lets not forget the redecoration aran did in the dungeon.
Luna at first thought she could handle Aran, however, her leadership experience was dwarfed in comparison. She thought that it would be easy just to dispose of aran, after all, she is from another time. a more harsher time. but it backfired and now she regrets it every moment and wants nothing more to do with the aran.
Celestia, a wise and fair ruler, has never encountered something like Aran. However, despite the fact that she wanted to treat peacefully with the human, murder in the eyes of Equestria is unforgivable. So the sentence is not banishment, but imprisonment. Later, when she trusted Aran to hold up his end of the bargain she was supposedly betrayed by him, when he killed the guards. 19 deaths and the fact that she had to inform the families one by one that their sons, daughters, fathers and mothers will never come home. Dont you think it might alter her viewpoint on how to handle Aran? My guess is if Celestia felt like she sent 19 guards to their deaths, dont you think she might've want justice for all those deaths?
Aran, someone who killed for the first time in self defence, was charged with murder, and thrown in a cell for months, when his natural magical resisting talents showed themselves, the princesses took action to study him, he would be a dangerous weapon against the princesses should he ever be turned against them. They couldn't risk to trust a murderer and started of course question the human, which he refused to answer, which lead to the mental prying. However, their regular mind reading spell didn't have a effect on him so they had to use something...stronger in the name of Equestrian safety. However, this spell had several major consequences and once they found out he was no true treat, the damage had been done and Aran was now their enemy.
Three biggest motivations in the story, I've reread the entire thing and admit the first part lack detail, but the reasons are still there in digital black and white but you either didn't read thoroughly or forgot it.
5447937 Settle down there, Cartman.
5446868 You're welcome to make a Alternate universe story, but I demand that you atleast write the story in a decent quality.
5454166
Alright, let me start by saying I'm not trying to be hurtful with my comments here. I'm just trying to really explain why it's hard to read some of the decisions your characters make.
Aran: He's your main character. He's been shat on repeatedly. Biggest gripe about his motivations? Allowing himself to be sold into slavery in a fighting ring. Someone who spent however-long behind bars, underfed, and tortured, is highly unlikely to allow himself to return to such an existence, and yet he did so with apparently no qualms whatsoever.
Shining: I could empathize with him to an extent right up until the people he is working with started murdering random innkeepers. He's now a murderer, as well, from the moment he didn't stop them with the threat of canceling their contract. And the fact that he didn't implies that he fully believes that 'the means justify the ends' which places him squarely in the villain end of the spectrum. The whole idea that Shining is willing to accept murder of innocents as justifiable makes the argument that 'murder is unforgivable' null otherwise.
Luna: She's obviously an idiot in this story. The belief that complicating an already tense situation (hostage negotiation) by attempting to assassinate the other party? Especially under the nose of the one who's nominally in charge? She knows where he is at all times, if shed' had a mind to have him killed, she could have done it at any time. But whatever... Your Luna is an idiot, that I can accept. Not to mention the use of intense torture in order to find out who saved him from starvation in her dungeon? That makes her a sociopath AND an idiot... Which, to be honest, is pretty believable considering the whole 'endless night' thing. So, no real problem with your Luna, just it feels like she's not really trying to get 'better' after her return.
Celestia: I'll assume that vivisection in your version of Equestria is an accepted medical practice (rather than a research practice where the victim is discarded afterwards as it has been in all of history in our world), and ignore that. I'll also accept that insanity is not an acceptable defense against murder in your world (and neither is self defense), at least not against the Guard. The idea that 'whelp, we tortured him once on accident and completely f*&#'d up his brain, guess there's no reason not to keep doing it" is insane. Making the punishment for murder(or mental deficiency) be 'torture until you die of old age or starvation' is more believable than that kind of reasoning. Of course, with the conversations the guards tended to have, maybe I shouldn't be assuming that torture isn't just an accepted fact of life in this version of Equestria... If it was just the guards doing it, it'd be one thing ('Kill a guard? We'll get our revenge!' That kind of thing happens in real life with police), but the princesses were the ones responsible.
The acceptability of torture as a means to extract information from prisoners is never covered in canon Equestria (and there are arguments both for and against it, not going there). However, the idea that anyone is irredeemable IS covered in canon, and implying that murder is 'unforgivable' should imply that Discord would never be redeemed(unless somehow he never killed anyone with his 'chaos'). Nightmare Moon would never be redeemed (can't imagine her not causing deaths during her temper tantrum), etc. etc. etc. Heck, Trixie committed an entire town's worth of kidnapping, treason, etc. and (it's implied that she) is forgiven with an insanity plea... Thus you should probably add an AU tag.
5456147
Aran is tired of living in the forest and wants to live comfortably also want to have an girlfriend and for that you need money and his only talent is to kill and a gladiator received quite remember this story earn a certain number of battles and is free
the author mention this
give me understand, that luna was in charge of extracting information and medieval techniques use with or without the knowledge of celestia
because they considered an extreme threat, issue of the visions of the human armament ,atomic weapons the latter an astonishment to celestia and believed that equestria could be destroyed by humans so I crossed the line
essentially all of the initial abuse was due to a miscommunication, and extremist morality celestia
although I admit that luna seems quite unbalanced honestly can not wait to see the reaction of Celestia when he discovers the secret of the luna that not only poisons the water also violated the brilliant mind
shining:he has to save apple bloom to avoid resentment aj, that resentment could disassociate the element of honesty, or so insinuated celestia,but I hope that when apple bloom talk discover who the real monsters here
about vivisection is a very complicated always point the animal dies, I think it would be more credible to say that the ponies were unaware, its biology and could not risk using sedatives or any magic in your state
5454166
thanks but I am very mediocre writing and English is not my native tongue back to the story
because candace not help Aran in forest during those nine months, she knew the whole truth and could quickly locate
5454166 Technical difficulties.... http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JD01G-ws8NI
5457044 This made my day xD
5457030 Still, its odd that most of them were posted since aug-nov, around the same time where I started getting featured on the main page.
5477357 It's okay, I don't expect everyone to like my taste. But still appriciate your kind words.
Pls dont kill em...
Great story so far. ^^'
5511150 Don't worry, I'll add in the scene where Applebloom reunites with her sister. Oh wait, did I say her sister? I meant, half of her sister.
5511471 Pinkie do somthing!!! QQ
When you put a part of a sentence between 2 commas, it means you can take out that part of the sentence and have it still make sense. You didn't do this in your smaller summary.
5525109 oh, thanks.
I only read the first chapter and thought. . . . . I NEED TO READ THIS STORY, personally i dont like sad very much, but this is well made, please, please, dont go to hiatus.
5720641 Next chapter will be out early april.