Putting Your Hoof Down pt.1
Turning around Rarity looked John up and down. “Where’s the collar?”
John gestured to the bush. “I thought the bush needed it more than I did.”
‘Will she force me to wear it?’
“John, this isn’t a joke. You have to put it on.” stated Rarity, with a scowl.
“Come on Johnny, I’ll give you a sweet treat if you listen to Rarity!” chided Pinkie.
The Elite’s face morphed into a rare frown. “No...I don’t think I’ll be wearing a collar. I’m not a dog.”
Rarity rolled her eyes, and walked up to the bush. Peering into it she began rummaging around inside it in an attempt to locate the discarded accessory. Meanwhile, Pinkie trotted up to John and patted his hip in what was an attempt at a comforting gesture.
“It’s alright John, you’re much cuter than any puppy I’ve ever seen!” exclaimed Pinkie.
“Right. That makes me feel so much better,” replied Punch with an exasperated sigh.
Rarity slowly turned around, levitating the collar in the air. Then in a falsetto voice sung “John! Come here!”
‘My god. She won’t actually move to the point of physical confrontation, will she?’
“No. I’d rather not.”
“Jonathan Punch, you put this collar on this instant!”
“No,” Stated John.
Punch didn’t care much about the collar. He did care about how far he could stretch Rarity’s patience before something snapped. Apparently, it wasn’t too far, as the collar flew towards him, unbuckling itself as it flew through the air.
Understanding her limits may give him a ballpark as to how other humans who misbehave were treated.
“Come on Johnny, put on the collar!” Pinkie chipped.
John slowly removed his hand from his neck. The collar gently floated to his neck, wrapped around, and buckled itself shut.
“See? It’s not so bad. Why must you be so difficult?” stated Rarity.
“It doesn’t match my eyes,” countered John.
Looking from the collar to his eyes, Rarity nodded. “I’ll be sure to get you a better color. Oh maybe we can get one of those gold gilded ones! Or a nice brown leather one. Leather is quite expensive, but I’m sure it’d go well with your eyes if that’s the concern.” chimed Rarity.
“Sorry if it’s a little tight. It’s Opal’s old collar.”
“Opal?”
“My cat.”
John took a deep breath and threw his hands up in defeat. “Right, whatever. Well let’s get to it.”
---
As they approached the cottage there was a loud toll as a camera was sent flying into the Ponyville bell tower. As the camera sailed through the air, they saw a stallion flying after it.
With a gasp, Rarity rushed towards Fluttershy, and shouted “Fluttershy dear? What are you doing? That’s no way to behave!”
“Didn’t you see what he did to new Fluttershy? And he thought new Fluttershy was a pushover!” exclaimed the pegasus as the flew down, and landed in front of her soaked mail.
“No sweetie he didn’t. We saw the whole thing. We think you’ve taken your assertiveness training a little too far. ” Rarity said, rather matter of factly.
“What? You just want new Fluttershy to be a doormat like old Fluttershy. But old Fluttershy is gone!”
As Punch watched the exchange from behind Rarity and Pinkie, he noticed, Fluttershy’s gaze would flick up to him every once in a while. Though slightly unnerving, John acted as though he wouldn’t notice.
John hung on to every word that was said. Listening and waiting as the situation escalated. John’s eyebrow slowly climbed as he listened to the exchange.
“I thought petty was what you were all about, Rarity! With your petty concerns about fashion”
“Hey! Leave her alone! Fashion is her passion!” interjected Pinkie.
“Oh? And what are you passionate about? Birthday cake? Party hats?” asked the pegasus mockingly.
“I can’t believe the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell new Fluttershy how to live her life, when they are throwing their lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!” shouted new Fluttershy.
“Looks like nasty Fluttershy is here to stay!”
“I can’t believe what that monster Iron Will has done to you!”
They promptly turned around and galloped away. John stared at them the whole time.
‘Who is Iron Will?’
“Aren’t you going to run after your mistress and lick her hooves?”
Turning John looked at Fluttershy. He didn’t say anything, simply stared at her. Then he shook his head no.
“Hmph. No wonder Rarity doesn’t want you. You’re as useless as a lump on a log. You should be put down.”
‘They put humans down?’
“Yeah, aren’t I depressing. I’m totally worthless. So what exactly do I have to do to be put down?” stated John straight faced.
“Oh just keep doing what you’re doing you useless waste of space.”
“Right, well it was...interesting... talking to you. So I’ll be on my way.”
Turning around, John began moving at a steady jog towards Ponyville, intent on understanding this whole “putting down” business.
---
“Cygnus X-1. Currently occupying the Veteran as a replacement in-flight computer.” asked the engineer.
“Correct. Howard Selt. You are my current maintenance engineer.” replied the AI.
“Yep. I saw you put in a request for a long range combat platform, and a data transmitter, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Request was granted...um just out of curiosity, what do you need them for? We’re not in active combat.”
“The combat platform will allow me to pilot The Veteran. It will allow me to make myself available to my Elite in the event of an emergency. It will also allow me to perform maintenance on this ship.” deadpanned Cygnus.
“But I normally do the maintenance on this ship. Why do you need to do it?” asked a now confused and slightly offended engineer.
“I don’t know how to vocalize it… the way you handle my hardware displeases me.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t like being touched inappropriately.”
Howard stared at the ship for a while. It was common for AIs to want to self maintain. It was a practice that was encouraged. Just as people go to the gym in order to improve themselves, or take an aspirin when they’re feeling sick, AIs upgrade and custom machine hardware for their use. Or rewrite inefficient, broken or outdated code. However, requesting maintenance gear for a ship, it’s as if she was treating it like her body rather than a mobile AI platform.
“Can you elaborate?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I lack the ability to put it into laymans terms.” stated the AI.
“All I did was clean out the jets.”
“You set the water streams up with 300 more newtons of force than I would have liked, according to the computer. You also climbed into my exhaust port and used a wire brush rather than a power washer for the residue buildup in the compression systems.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t aware you were so sensitive about the way the ship is maintained.”
“Apology accepted. I have been in this ship for the majority of my on clock time. I have very specific maintenance plans usually carried out by my elite... Mr.Selt, can I tell you something?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“I miss my Elite. He promised we would do a puzzle when he came back.”
The engineer stared at the hull of the Veteran for a minute then sighed. “Do you want to do one with me?”
“No thank you Mr.Selt. It is something of a tradition John and I share.” stated Cygnus. “Although I will engage in a game of chess. Assuming you will move the pieces.”
“Why? You can’t simulate it?”
“I am an advanced tactics and combat analysis AI. I have a focus in combat optimization and resource preservation.“
“So no. “
“...No. Not without a plug in. John doesn’t like chess.”
---
Location: USSF Starwatch
Time: Shortly after destruction of Hotel 217
Andrew felt hollow. Like someone had gutted him . An entire race had just been exterminated, along with a number of good soldiers. This wasn’t how the contact was supposed to go. Although that’s to be expected. You don’t always get what you want. However, the one thing that bothered Rich the most was that all of this was preventable.
If John Punch hadn’t been captain of the OSS Team that was gunned out of the sky. Or...if Captain Punch hadn’t survived, it might have been that the race of creatures that inhabited 217 might have become an ally rather than a foe. The idea that the man who had essentially been Andrew Rich’s idol, had been heartless enough to advocate for the total annihilation of a race of creatures that were essentially in their infancy made him almost sick to his stomach.
Worse still, that man sat across him right now. He had a small smile on his face. It was like the events of the past few days had simply been a bad dream. The death of his wife. The bloodshed, and the final judgement he had rendered upon a new planet.
“You wanted to talk to me, Rich?”
“Yes, sir. It’s about the events that transpired on the ground and-”
“If I can interrupt, Soldier, one of the psychologists on the ship maybe much better candidates for conversation than myself.” stated John, with his ridiculous smile.
Rich looked at him a bit, and cocked his head to the side. “Sir, you said if I needed you, I should just ask.”
“Right. Sorry. Go ahead.”
“Umm...well, Permission to speak freely, Captain?”
“Off the record?” asked John
The soldier nodded in response.
“Okay. Fine. Talk.” stated John, smile falling off his face, and a stare replacing it. The OSS captain knew what this was about. Rich didn’t agree with John’s proposal to destroy the planet. Nor did he like the fact that John had done everything in his power to convince other elites and soldiers to pressure the Starwatch’s captain into agreeing with the proposal. The number of times they had butted heads about this in the days preceding destruction of the planet, and days after had been steadily increasing.
“John. I’m asking right now, as your friend. Why did we have to kill them?”
“It was a pre-”
“No. I want the real answer. Not the political bullshit you spouted to convince everyone.”
“We may be off the record, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the respect that a commanding officer should get from his or her soldiers, Rich. Watch your tongue. And it wasn’t bullshit. Every word of it was true and you know it.” spat the OSS captain.
This was always how it began. Before the differing ideals had surfaced the pair had gotten along just fine. In fact they had been good friends. After the events on the planet however, the logic they had used to come to their conclusions had caused a rift to form between them. Even so, Andrew knew exactly how to get John to skip pulling rank and just get into a shouting match, which unfortunately seemed to be the only way they’d been getting any real talking done. It was safe to say that at least in Andrew’s eyes, the relationship was souring fast.
“Sorry, sir. Let me rephrase that question. Was blowing up the planet some way to avenge Sasha?” John stood up. It was sudden, and his knees made a thunk against the desk as he stood. He stared down at him, a seething rage building on his face. “After she died, you didn’t even bother attending the funeral.” Andrew said. “You missed out on saying goodbye to blow that planet to hell.”
John shook his head “You don’t know-”
“I don’t know, what? I introduced the two of you when the team was put together. You knew her because of me. I know what it’s like. I’m sad too. But I’m not letting my personal feeling get involved with work. That was the one thing they drilled in our heads when they started training us.”
The idea simply stated that when personal feelings are mixed with power, bad things happen. It was impossible to get someone to completely dissociate the two, but the hope was that it would deter people from giving one opinion or another out of straight anger.
‘The idea that a man with potentially sociopathic tendencies would reach a high enough rank to deceive a ship captain to the point where they would decide to blow apart a planet with life on wasn’t considered.’ thought Rich
And the fact that John’s pitch and proposal had been accompanied by what was essentially a death threats from several of the planetary leaders, had encouraged the idea that extermination was the best route, rather than simply running away and letting the creatures be.
‘But what do I know. I’m just a OSS operator. The big guys care about what Punch says...’seethed Andrew internally.
“Personal feelings aside…” stated Punch. “You saw what they did down there, right? They didn’t just kill. They weren’t defending. They took things. They ate people, Rich. Not because they were starving. To taste us. I’m not blind, right? I can’t be the only one who saw that. It’s like when you find termites outside your house, near a stump. Spray it down before they can spread.” he quietly said.
“They weren’t termites, John. There is a big difference between thinking, intelligent creatures and bugs.” spat the soldier.
“We can go back and forth all day. What’s done is done.”
“I know. I just want to see if you feel even the smallest bit of regret about not giving them time, or trying to work this out.”
John took a deep breath. “Do you regret killing a spider?”
Andrew Rich stood up. “Thank you, sir”. He said with finality. It was obvious the conversation was over.
“I recommend you speak to a psychologist.”
“Will do. Good night, Captain.”
---
Punch was sprinting hard. The physical activity not only increased his speed of travel, but allowed him a wonderful release from the stress he had been acclimating recently. He had opened into his breakneck pace upon breaking line of sight with Fluttershy. As he approached the town, he began reducing his speed, instead favoring a more controlled jog. John oriented himself towards the Library and quietly jogged his way there.
As he ran he listened hard to the interactions going on around him. Most of them were one sided. The pony would simply ask their person to do some odd task or another. Pick up my saddle-bag. Carry these apples. Buy some flour. All simple mundane tasks. The one thought Punch couldn’t shake however, was ‘What if they say no?’
Arriving at the door he franticly knocked. The pony that opened the door was, much to Punch’s surprise, Pinkie. Her mane had a deflated look about it, the kind a foil balloon gets after two days or so and tears streaks ran down her face.
“Hey Johnny.”
Her voice matched her mane.
“Uhh...Hey. So. How ya feelin’?” asked the Elite.
“Can we talk inside? ” asked Pinkie, opening the door wider.
The Elite nodded and made his way inside. To increase his surprise, he found Rarity sitting at the central table, with a cup of tea, and Twilight patting her on the head. Her eyeliner was running.
Considering his options, he took a quick look at Pinkie, Rarity then Twilight. The choice was obvious.
“Hey. Twi. I need to talk to you about something Fluttershy said.”
She looked up from Rarity and quietly asked. “Was she mean to you, too?”
“No...well, kind of...whatever, can we take it elsewhere?”
Twilight shook her head. “You and Rarity have already used your separation time for today.”
“Elaboration would be appreciated.” stated a perplexed Punch.
“You have to be together for forty eight hours. Obviously, going that long without bathroom time and the likes would be impossible. That means you get about an hour break every twenty four hours. From what I heard, in total, you’ve been seperated for about an hour...you need to stay with her or the contract won’t go through. Besides. This is a good chance for the both of you to relate. Tell Rarity your problem. She’s the one who’ll help you.”
The white pony gave a sniffle and got to her hooves. “Yes It is my job as your caretaker after all. You said you wanted to take this somewhere private?”
Punch nodded.
“Twilight. Do you mind if I pop upstairs a moment?”
The purple pony simply smiled. “Feel free.” Then she turned and paced over to Pinkie.
Meanwhile Rarity stalked up the stairs. Punch looked from Twilight to Pinkie, and then the stairs. Sighing he jogged up after his mistress.
---
Rarity had perched herself on Twilight’s guest bed. John was sitting on the floor off to the side, looking up at her. During the two minutes it had taken them to close the door and settle in, the fashionesta had managed to somehow pull herself together and basically put on a mask of fortitude.
‘Regardless of my feelings, I have to be strong. For him. Oh, this is so much more responsibility than I’m used to.’
“All right John.” stated Rarity. “What happened?”
Punch stared at Rarity for a bit and simply stated, “I have a question.”
“Yes?”
John steadied his gaze, “You cannot lie to me. You have to be honest.”
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she chirped.
“Miss Rarity, are you going to have me put down?”
You could hear a pin drop from a mile away. Punch watched as a look of utter shock crossed the snow white pony’s face. It was as though someone had slapped her. Then her eyes softened. She looked down at her (not so little) human with as much care as she could.
‘He believes it. He actually thinks I would do something like that to him… We haven’t even known one another for a day! What did she SAY to him?’
Rarity could see two things in her human’s expression. The first was cold hard determination and behind it, faintly flickering, was fear.
Instead of answering Rarity simply got off of the bed, trotted towards him, and slowly, pulled his head into her downy chest. “Jonathan I would never.” As Punch sat with Rarity essentially acting as a massive stuffed animal, he quickly realized: This had shaken her up more than him.
“Miss Rarity,” John whispered, pausing momentarily to collect his thoughts, “After you left, Fluttershy told me I should be put down. Normally I wouldn’t be too concerned about this kind of thing, but it got me thinking about the way you’d been feeling about taking a human. I was just wondering. What does a human have to do to be put down.”
“That’s hardly an appropriate–”
“I need to know.” insisted the Elite, keeping his voice level. The air was electrified.
“Very well,” Rarity said, clearly uncomfortable, “That.... is generally done under one or more of three conditions. The first is in the event of an especially heinous crime. Rape. Murder. Real nasty business. Things I’m sure you wouldn’t involve yourself with. The second is in the event of the caretaker feeling it is in the best interest of the human to end their life. Finally it may be done preemptively in the event that the human is seen as a potential public danger.”
Once Rarity finished her explanation she stared at John. He seemed to simply be processing the information; staring blankly at a wall as though waiting for something to happen. Finally he cast his gaze towards his care taker once more.
“Is it common?” he inquired.
“Not here,” stated Rarity, “Johnathan. I do not want you to feel threatened when you’re with me. I’m here to make sure you’re okay. That’s why I made you wear this,” she said, touching the collar with a hoof.
“I don’t know miss Rarity. It seems like you tolerate me more than you accept me.” quipped John.
‘Tolerate more than I accept? Is that how he feels?’ she asked herself.
Somewhere inside her a voice came with a snide remark: ‘His feelings aren’t important. Is that how YOU really feel? Are we tolerating him for Twilight?’
‘No!’ she chastised. ‘I’m not doing this just for her. I’m doing this for a poor human who has no home, and simply wants to settle down.’
The voice laughed. It was a mocking laugh; the kind she used when something exceptionally ridiculous was presented to her. ‘Maybe there’s a reason he had no home? After all working as a whore isn’t the most noble of professions.’
‘He wasn’t one of those brutes!’
‘How do you know?’ she asked herself. ‘He says he wasn’t, but he can lie. All humans do it.’
Finally deciding enough was enough, she did the one thing that would put all her fears to rest.
“John. I was honest with you. Now I want you to be honest with me. Where did you come from?” She asked.
The human looked down at her. “If you mean where was I born? You wouldn’t know. It was this little backwater town, and my group moved before I could even tell right from left. I’ve been to so many places in so little time I wouldn’t call anywhere my home. As for work? I did hard labor.”
“What kind of hard labor?” she asked.
“Moving things. Planting food. Lifting logs. You name it.” Punch nonchalantly chipped.
“Okay...so I don’t understand. Why settle in with a pony now? What are you afraid of?” asked Rarity.
His story was lackluster. Ambiguous statements mixed with gaps in knowledge were generally signs of badly thought out rumors. But maybe giving him the benefit of the doubt wouldn’t be so bad this time around.
“HA!”
The laugh was unexpected. It shattered the silence and Rarity’s train of thought. The air became electrified with a new kind of energy. The kind that Punch normally gave off: Authority mixed with smugness. However, this time, Rarity welcomed it. She felt like she was part of the energy rather than on the receiving end of it.
‘Maybe this is why ponies like people. It seems they can turn the bad into something nice.’
“I eat fear for breakfast!” bragged the Elite. “The scariest thing to happen to this town is me!” he exclaimed.
Rarity didn’t know what was going on, but the seriousness, or whatever had possessed John was gone. It had once more been replaced by his usual seemingly lackadaisical vibe. Which meant he felt safe.
‘Well that is what matters...’
“Miss Rarity?”
“Oh! Yes? ”
“Twilight probably already told you this, but ignore Fluttershy. The opinion of one pony is trivial when compared to the opinions of several.”
“Thank you John. “
“That and she’s a massive tool.”
“What?”
“Nevermind.”
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5759884 Have you by any chance heard of Olympus Mons? 25 km, it's on Mars, which is smaller than Earth. Still, though, 2000 km is way too high.
Thanks for the awesome chapter, almost forgot I ever faved this one
Wow, a simple "i'm sorry" hardly seems adequate if Fluttershy are going to apologise for her putting down comment.
memecreator.eu/media/created/bxpl4n.jpg
Yay! welcome back to the world of the living
I'm going to have to read this whole thing again
I forgot what it was even about!
its alive?
Almost a year from the last chapter to this one. I hope that more is forthcoming. I find the story rather fascinating, even if I dislike on principle human slaves to ponies themes.
5832030
Nah he's just a human, no need to apologize to something that doesn't really have feelings to hurt.
I dub this story 'undead'.
"Oh story who dwells in long forgotten ages. Rise up again and walk the front pages!"
*Waves voodoo stick in mystical way*
Seriously though, its awesome to see this continue.
5833932 That's right! I almost forgot that humans don't have souls, my bad!
This is one of the best stories I have read on Fimfiction.
Watching the (current) season five episodes again, I was screaming "Commies!" the entire way through. Yay, I guess.
Well this actually ended up surprising me, i thought most of it was going to be a rant on how bad humans are and crap like that with the premise of this fiction. Glad it wasn't and i eagerly await for more. Most fictions like these tend to actually insult the readers and i was afraid this one would be like so.
5841601 When I saw the town I remarked it as a concetration camp. Many minutes later, I was starting to think, "Yeup, definetly North Korea."
you know the moment word gets out about the whole putting down thing the federation is more than likely going to order a mass invasion of the planet maybe even and extermination if their anger get's the better of them
5924398
Things like extermination would happen if it was decided that the such things weren't supported by the populace at large. However, the case seems to be that the ponies see nothing wrong with it. In that case, it'd be a matter of wiping out a species that naively doesn't realize it did anything wrong and thinks it is being destroyed for no reason. Well, sucks for them.
5940779
Yep, the thing that really angers me in these fics is the amount of naivity that ponies have, it makes me want to bang my head on the wall repeatedly.
5940779 wouldn't that make the humans lean a little too closely to 'Conversion bureau parody' level of irony blindness?
I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE
ARE you still writing and updating this story because its really awesome
and I will be so SAD 
to see you cancel such a nice story.
or a 
I can't wait until Celestia see's the fully armored and quick reflexes of the Human race. Her reaction would be priceless, I am expecting more of a WHAT!? reaction coming from Celestia
Aaaaaaannnnd he's been offline for near a month....
Can't help but get nervous whenever that happens.
Just wanting to ask you if I can. Are you still writing this awesome story
Now I await an update....
Awwwww come on man how could you leave such a well written story like this to gather dust?
when is the next Chapter coming out!
Offline for 10 weeks. Definitely getting nervous, now.
6974525 Agreed
Good stories never die. Thier just missing-in-action.
Lol
7157468 i see what you did there
7292642
Where the fuck is the next chapter?
WHERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!?????!!!!??????!!!!
Please update this story is amazing
Shiiit, I started to read a dead story. I was actually sort-of liking it too! The characters are occasionally cringe, but the premise is a fun collage.
Well, this is a good story, well paced and there is a lot less kicking of the puppy than is present in other stories of its genre. Good job! Would love to read more.
I feel like this is based off of something...
8116942 I don't even remember reading this fic, but judging from your recent string of comments I have a feeling it's not worth revisiting...
I really want to see where this goes next...
Is this dead?
This story still updating?
Well I'm happy he's at-least logged in at some point this year.
Why are there so many incomplete interesting stories?
8819352
Because the universe hates us all.
8819352
A question I ask everytime I visit this site.
Okay this story is definitely dead
about as dead as "Oh to be old again"
The rise... and the fall of a great titan.
Something could have been eternal, only to become dead without enlightenment.
Forever shall the memories of what we’ve seen stay in our minds.
For the broken ashes of a story are all that we can speak of in the machine-like grind...
8983666
so true just imagine if all this great story's were complete. love this stories were humanity is in a space era. and they amaze pony's.