If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.

* Voted Twice as the #1 Comedy FanFic on Equestria Daily *

Well, what can I say? This is the story of a man. Or maybe he was... a pony-man. Or maybe he was just a... Pony! But he was still...

FIREWAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!

... Yeah, this is that story. The story where a guy goes to a party and wakes up in Ponyville. That guy (I know him as 'me') seems to have landed in his own personal little heaven. Hell, I even brought me a pack of endless cigarettes. How does that not kick all kinds of flank?

So yeah, everything was awesome. The End.

Well, except for The Nightmare. And Trixie. And some jerk named David. Then there was that Azure Flora pony. And that skank princess that steals my goddamn phone!

Listen, summaries just... They just don't cut it. If you want the story, it's provided right here.

Just a warning. I use cusswords like a big boy.

ALSO LUNA IS NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN TROLL!

At first glance, Princess Luna's charioteers might appear to be little more than Royal Guards dressed in festive apparel for Nightmare Night. However, there is far more to the story than that - the Night Guards once played a pivotal role in the history of Equestria, and have sacrificed more for their beloved princess than most ponies are even aware of.

This story is a sequel to No, I Am Not A Brony, Get Me Outta Equestria!

After leaving Ponyville, the human TD Harrison Powell finds himself in even stranger territory than the land of the ponies. Will he find his way home? Or will he find out that he should have stayed in Ponyville under the watchful eyes of the Royal Sisters after all?

Edited by the amazing Jack Kellar and Marioland1

Special thanks to MyHobby for the cover art!!

I'd heard about the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic from my college roommate who is way too into the show. Disturbingly so, actually, but good gravy I would never watch the darned thing! What am I, five? I've got better things to do with my time than watch a silly little girl's show. However, that didn't stop... something from transporting me into the world of the show, so here I am... in Equestria... trying to get home. This is gonna be interesting.

Special thanks to GuyFace, Jack Kellar, Storm Shaker, Spiffy McSquee, and Goober Trooper for helping me with this one!

Dovetail was a security officer in Stable 61 when that stable opened its door for the first time in 200 years. Chosen along with her best friend, Lilybloom, to be the first scouting party into the world above, these two mares will face their biggest hardships ever. Their tale will take them on the journey of their lives: from the comforts of their stable home all the way to the Frozen North and into legend.

Theme song is out! Thanks to the amazing Ethan Sight for it! Go listen to it here, and please support him by buying the song on itunes: |Link|

**While I’ve done my best to make this piece new-reader friendly, a familiarity with the amazing original work, Fallout: Equestria, by Kkat, may help your understanding of this story and the fantastic universe it is set in. Please check that out here if you so choose: |Link|**

Book One Cover art by SpiritofthwWolf (Me) and Piecee01

Edited by: TheHerpestOfTheDerp (First 4 Chapters), Eeveexpert (Chapter 5 and Forward)
Pre-read by: Eeveexpert

"Beware Her wrath, fools who dare threaten our Kingdom. For if Celestia be our Shield, then Luna is the Sword."

Spiritual companion to Sweet Celestia.

Some time before LittlePip's emergence, Dazzling "Dodo" Dusk, the only pegasus mare of Stable 96, driven with her lust for adventures, comes outside into snowy mountains of Northern Equestria where she meets Jester, a chaotic and joyful half-zebra mare. Together, they start their quest for ancient Equestrian history and mythology, when they suddenly have to confront a powerful fraction which seeks a great secret of the past to use in their own favor.

The Lone Wanderer has been known as the man who shouldered the nightmares of every man, woman and child in the wasteland, so that they may live. But when the Wanderer was once again abducted by aliens, he found himself falling, quite literally, into a whole new wonderous world, untouched by the horrors of nuclear devastation.

He has been facing other people's nightmares constantly for almost a decade, it was high time he was allowed to wake up.

Meanwhile, the ponies of Equestria are baffled by a strange object that fell from the sky.

Fallout/FIM crossover. HiE. T for violence and some language.

Now with a TVTropes page!

This story is a sequel to The Dresden Fillies: Strange Friends

Almost a year has gone by for Harry Dresden since he left Equestria. He'd have written, but between saving his newly discovered brother and destroying a scourge of vampires he's been a little busy. Then out of the blue he receives a strange letter from Twilight asking him to return. With no cases at the moment he eagerly accepts, but his friends aren't the only ponies expecting him. There's been a lot of rumors since his last visit and some ponies aren't too keen on seeing him come back.

A sequel to The Dresden Fillies: Strange Friends.