• Member Since 7th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen October 7th

SpiritofthwWolf


T
Source

Dovetail was a security officer in Stable 61 when that stable opened its door for the first time in 200 years. Chosen along with her best friend, Lilybloom, to be the first scouting party into the world above, these two mares will face their biggest hardships ever. Their tale will take them on the journey of their lives: from the comforts of their stable home all the way to the Frozen North and into legend.

Pure Hearts is getting an audio book, courtesy of reader, FedoraSonar! The recording for the intro can be found here: |Link|

Google Docs version available here: |Links| (please note that new chapters will be available here, but they are to be considered unedited and unfinished before they appear here).

Theme song is out! Thanks to the amazing Ethan Sight for it! Go listen to it here, and please support him by buying the song on itunes: |Link|

**While I’ve done my best to make this piece new-reader friendly, a familiarity with the amazing original work, Fallout: Equestria, by Kkat, may help your understanding of this story and the fantastic universe it is set in. Please check that out here if you so choose: |Link|**

Cover art by the amazing FoxInShadow on deviantart!
|Link|

Edited by: TheHerpestOfTheDerp (On hiatus)
Pre-read by: Eeveexpert
(On hiatus: Doomande, JetWave, and Piecee01)

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 165 )

As one of the admins of the Fo:E group on the site have I one thing to say to you... Welcome to the herd.

2226313
Thanks! I'm looking forward to being a part of it!

You know... if you are quick and have more ideas than what you can put into this story do I know that there is a writing contest where you can win fame and glory*


*Yes maybe a little over exaggerated but you get the point

2226409
Cool, I'll check it out! Thanks again.

I have never read a FOE fic before, but for some reason, this one caught my eye. I enjoyed it quite a bit and am eagerly awaiting more. Good work! :pinkiehappy:

2226680
Thanks! Chapter 3 should follow sometime this week. With any luck tonight or tomorrow.

2226723
Splendiferous news! Not only will I be following this story, I will be following you, as well. Completely consensual, seeing as the little eye next to your name was telling me to follow you. :derpytongue2:

...Is dovetail a Pegasus by any chance? The feathers on the image kind of allude to her species but i'd appreciate some confirmation.

2226782
Nope, she's an earth pony. The official cover art will better reflect that.

2226963 Thank god shes an earth pony

I shall follow this story. Something about seem... different (haven't read any of it yet, but I'll get around to it).

I don't normally read a lot of fanfiction, but when I do, it's written by this magnificent fellow. :raritywink:

Maybe I'll actually read a fallout equestria fic for once

2228106
I highly recommend it. Whether it's mine or not. :rainbowwild:

Damn boy :rainbowderp: This story have gotten itself a nice cover. I am envious dude!

2230675
Oh the things that can happen when the person you actually want to do cover art opens commission the day you start looking for artists. :raritywink:
Thanks though!

Always good to see another FO:E fic!
not much I can say, you're just starting out, the beginning was rather uninteresting, guess the plot hook will be coming in this town...
no spelling or grammar errors that I could find in my normal read, so good job there

2231040
Yep, the first two chapters were where I have my least amount of ideas so far. This is honestly the first thing I've written more than a couple pages of in 5-6 years, so I'll be a tad rusty in the beginning. I may come back and rewrite them at some point after I get further in. The next chapters get much more interesting though, and I'm gonna do my best to make it better as time goes on.

totes going on my read later list brah. looks awesome. :twilightsmile:

2231076

At least you have previous writing experience. This past summer I decided "I'm going to write Fallout Equestria story, even though I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing!"

2231580
Haha, not as much as I make it sound, but yes, some is better than none. Well, I'll have to check yours out sometime! Good luck with it!

2231647 Same to you! The first few chapters on mine are kinda bad. I didn't have an editor and I've been too lazy to go back and fix them. :twilightoops:

2231683
Haha, alright. I'm sure they can't be as bad as some of the things I've read in the past. :twilightsmile:

That cabin...

2spooky4me :fluttershyouch:

2232908
Glad you like what I've got so far!

I like how it's written. Dovetail's reactions on wasteland's stuff is believable. We still know next to nothing about her and Lilybloom. I expect to more character's development in future. Hm.. I had been quite afraid to read in description something like ""she and her friend together, two mares vs". :facehoof: Thanks Celestia they are not lovers, or something. Security mare leaving stable, is already clishe.
Keep up good story, comrade. :twilightsmile:

2233459
I'm glad you like it so far. This is the first time I've written more than a page or two of anything in about 5-6 years, so I'm a tad rusty. I do have some good character development scenes as things move forward, but I've always struggled with getting characters to not be too flat. Any suggestions?
As for the "two mares" thing, I actually am avoiding the pairing of them as more than best friends, even if it still gets brought up.
And I actually started writing before reading Project Horizons or other side fics for that matter, so the security mare cliche was an unintentional side-effect, but I decided it was too late to change it by the time I found out.
I am happy you find it overall good with what I've gotten so far though.

A picture in EQD's Drawfriend bought me here...and I am not dissapointed.

So, what's Dovetail's S.P.E.C.I.A.L. attributes?

2240929
S 5
P 4
E 5 (may consider it a 6 because earth pony hardiness)
C 8
I 5
A 8
L 5

really great story look forward to more chapters :twilightsmile:

let the journey of a lifetime... begin.

you'd think that gale would notice the fact that even raiders are terrified of this cabin and be more cautious. still story going good!:pinkiehappy:
ps: i like how dovetail didn't hold on to her reservations for killing for ages, it tends to be a burden and gets tedious fast in the wasteland.

2253882
Haha, you'd think. :derpytongue2: I'm glad you're liking it so far. And yeah. She still doesn't like the idea, but she knows when life and death matters too.

So time to dust this off my read later list and give a little review of this...

*5 seconds later after having read the first line* GGARGH!:raritycry:

To get my point of view about that sentence in the Fo:E world could I recommend reading my prologue, a tad longer than yours, but then only focus about the part where my main character talks about war. But with few words do you mention it yourself "In the end of the war did they use megaspells" Already there do you show how much the war had changed, how weapons of mass destruction was used for the first time at that point. Beside that is it one of the worst clinches that there is out there, beside the broken water talisman.

Beside that would I say that your prologue are missing a hook. Sure we are in the cold north... but? It is done before, even done by one of the rather large side stories on this site, and is an setting that is often used to go out of the box, so often by now that it is beginning to be a part of the box. Beside that have we not seen your characters, some of the most important about a story, just seeing a glimpse of a pony would have made a hook so we want to know more about him/her.

Beside that is this so short, ever so shortly. Why not glue it together with the next chapter? Because this does mostly fell like the intro to an intro, something that is bad with your first chapter. Your first chapter, no matter what you call it, is the most important one, it is your face to the outside world, already now the breaking point for many readers, so it need to be your best and then some more.

If it wasn´t because of the glorious artwork, something that I know have costed you a pip-buck and a half, would I leave this story here. But I know that you burn for this, or else would you not pay so much for your characters. So expect me back on a later point with more feedback. Hopefully more positive than this, because I do not like seeing a story with so big ambitions and a foundation that looks so solid to crumble because the readers are rather silent.

So all this shortened down. Is not bad, is not brilliant either

Nitpick, ponies does not have hand, and you use it in this sentence "A handful of ponies did attempt to brave its everlasting winter since the apocalypse"

2291165
Thanks for your review. I would like to start off by just saying this is the first thing I've written more than a page or two of in about 5 to 6 years, so I'm a little rusty. I do plan to go back and re-write the first chapter and probably the prologue at the least once I get another chapter or two out and am confident that I've gotten enough skill back to do them well. I will definitely take your advice to heart when I do so to the best of my ability.

As far as the setting, I don't recall finding anything with the same setting during my search, and have done my best to avoid overlap in anyway possible. Would it be possible to get the link to the larger one you mentioned?

2291165
Okay, so, I looked, I'm guessing by the setting being done by one of the large stories, you mean Operation Flankorage. I do remember coming across this one now, but I should also state that while I'm doing my best to avoid overlap, I'm only considering Kkat's original, Project Horizons, and Pink Eyes as canon, so I'm not afraid to write over top of Operation Flankorage, but my storyline will hopefully avoid any conflict with locations in that story besides the general Frozen North. I have my own ideas for where it's going, and am staying within what I consider to be canon, as stated earlier.

2291165
Okay, so I edited the prologue a bit. If you wouldn't mind giving it a quick read-through and see if it's any better. I may still combine it and the first chapter at a later point, after I re-write the first chapter, but I'm not sure on it yet.

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