Why Me?
Needless to say, I could only stand there in shock as the gathered griffin nobles applauded me about my upcoming wedding. Aepnet was saying something about how happy he was, and Kathyrine was giving me a rather impressive death glare. I almost didn't notice when I was led by Aepnet and Yerkes to an antechamber to discuss further details. Aepnet was still beaming at me as Yerkes closed the door behind us.
"This may be the single happiest day of my life!" He threw a foreleg around his daughter's shoulders. "Well, except for the moment of your birth, of course."
"And this may be the most depressing day of mine," Kathyrine snarked. She turned her glare to her father. "Well, except for the moment of my birth, of course."
Aepnet chuckled and patted his daughter on the head. "Now, now, Kathyrine. Let's not be sarcastic in front of your future husband. It's quite rude, and I don't think that the future Emperor of Griffonia appreciates sarcasm."
That snapped me out of my stupor.
"I... I'm sorry, the what now?"
"Well you're going to be the crown prince of all of Griffonia upon marrying my daughter." Aepnet moved over to me and nudged me with his elbow. "When I tragically pass on, you shall be the next Emperor by virtue of being my heir."
I sighed and double facepalmed. "I don't... well, I know that this is a stupid question before I ask it, but..." I removed my hands from my face and looked down at the emperor. "Is it okay if I decline?"
Aepnet's smile faded and he turned to Yerkes. "Yerkes, would you please escort my daughter to her chambers? The royal fiance and I have some matters to discuss."
Royal fiance. That's not a good sign.
Yerkes saluted and beckoned Kathyrine to follow him. To my vague delight, she gave me a vague smile of approval for not wanting this any more than she did. Maybe if we worked together we could stop this horrible series of events from occurring.
Once Yerkes and Kathyrine had left, Aepnet took a deep breath and fixed me with a piercing stare. "I realize that this must be quite a shock for you, human."
"There are no words in any language in any universe that can convey how much of an understatement that is." I glowered at him and folded my arms. "And before we continue on, my name is TD. Not human. I'm surprised that you betrothed me to your daughter before having even that much information."
Aepnet nodded. "Very well. TD. Does it stand for anything?"
"Nope. Just TD."
A smirk crossed Aepnet's face, and he snorted. "Your parents are a creative sort."
My glower deepened. "I can see where your daughter got her sarcastic tendencies."
Aepnet chuckled and shook his head. "You are quite remarkable, TD." Aepnet walked over to what looked like a globe of the planet we were on. He rolled it back revealing a bar. "What's your drink?"
"On the planet I come from it's a drink called a screwdriver. Orange juice and vodka. Here it's cider."
"I'm afraid that I don't have either." Aepnet lifted a bottle of amber liquid out of the globe. "Bourbon?"
I shrugged. "Sure."
"Very well." Aepnet grabbed two crystal glasses and poured the drink into both of them. He deftly balanced both drinks on his wings and walked back over to me. I took one of them. "I assume that you are curious as to why I would so readily accept a being from a completely different race that has no knowledge of our political workings as the heir to the throne of Griffonia."
"The question crossed my mind," I snarked. "The second question that crossed my mind is why I don't seem to have a choice in the matter."
"A reasonable query," Aepnet agreed. He sipped his bourbon before continuing. "You see, many decades ago, Griffonia was not the unified state you see today. My grandfather was the head of the most powerful griffin clan of them all, and it was his vision to see Griffonia united." Aepnet snorted and smiled knowingly. "Probably just because he wanted to be the emperor. He was quite power hungry." Aepnet waved a claw. "That's unimportant for your situation. Suffice to say, he was willing to do whatever it took. So, he captured a prince from the second most powerful clan and created a law that anyone ordered to marry into his clan would do so under penalty of death. The prince was more receptive to marrying my mother after that."
I raised my eyebrow and sipped my own bourbon, relishing the sharp taste. It was quite good. "So your father was said prince."
"Indeed he was. When he married my mother, it forced a treaty between his clan and the rival one that the prince had come from. With their combined powers, they were able to unite all of the clans under my grandfather's rule."
"And here I am: forced to marry your daughter or die." I rolled my eyes and drained the rest of my bourbon. "Wonderful."
Aepnet drank the rest of his bourbon and nodded. "Indeed. Now, you may wonder why I have chosen to utilize this law."
"Again, the question came up."
"That it would." Aepnet put his glass down and sighed, looking out one of the stained glass windows that adorned the room. "My grandfather's greatest wish is that my family line be the one to rule for as long as possible. Most of the nobles you saw out there have been vying for my daughter's claw since the moment she was born. All of them are not of my grandfather's line. They would use their position as Emperor to advance their own clans, and I cannot have that." He turned his head back to me. "You have no stake in their clans. You would continue my line if I asked, would you not?"
"That means sleeping with your daughter, right?" Yuck. That would leave a bad taste in my mouth. Human. Women. I cannot stress this enough.
Aepnet nodded. "Not only would it continue my line, but it would be your right as her husband."
"Okay." I put my own glass down and rubbed my temples. The movement jarred Oswald, and he hopped from my shoulder onto a table. "What makes you think that humans and griffins are even compatible? What guarantee do you have that I could even get your daughter pregnant?"
"If the issue arose that you could not, we would employ unicorn magic to make sure she gave birth to a griffin."
"That's just..." I groaned and facepalmed. "I don't want to offend you because I imagine that I'm skating on ice so thin that I'll break through at any moment, but good grief that's unappealing."
Aepnet grunted and shrugged. "You'd get used to it."
"I don't want to get used to it!" I lowered my hand and glared at him. "Do you even know why I'm here?! Do you know why I came to Griffonia in the first place?" Aepnet shook his head and I took a step towards him. "I told you that I came here because Princess Celestia accidentally brought me to this world when she messed around with portals. I'm traveling around the planet because I'm trying to find somebody that can send me back!"
Aepnet raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. "Really? And you thought that a non-magical race like the griffins could do magic more powerful than the pony who raises the sun?"
"I'm not giving up until I've exhausted every possible option!" I leaned my head forward. "Every. Single. One."
"I see." Aepnet scoffed and waved his claw. "It matters not. We are not a race more powerful than Princess Celestia. Nor do I know of anybody strong enough to do so. You're on a fool's errand, TD."
"I'm not giving up!" I snarled. "And seriously, your daughter doesn't want to marry me either! Why do you think that this is going to work?"
Aepnet's face twisted into a glare, and he took a menacing step towards me. "Because I said so. Because I am the emperor and my word is law. Our laws dictate that I can choose whomever I please to marry my daughter, and I can order your death should you refuse."
"I'm just trying to get home!" I growled. "Seriously, your daughter doesn't want to marry me either, and I seriously doubt that she's open to sleeping with me. All you have to do is let me out of here and I'll go somewhere else. Saddle Arabia or something like that."
"I'm afraid that it is too late for that," Aepnet insisted. "I already made the announcement. I can't go back on my word now." Aepnet's glare hardened. "You have no say in this matter, boy. You will marry my daughter, or I will make your death more painful that you can imagine." His glare softened, and he tapped one of his talons on the floor. "Or you can become one of the most powerful beings on the face of the planet."
"That would mean that Celestia would find me." I hardened my own glare. "And I have been trying to avoid that for a few years now. It would also mean consistent interaction with her."
"And no chance of going home; I get it." Aepnet sighed and for once, he looked a little sympathetic to me. "I understand that you want to go back to your own species. Being in such a foreign land is strange, and I know that I am asking quite a lot from you." His glare returned. "But know this: I will not let the legacy of my grandfather die. Not when I have the means to continue it. I will certainly train you to be quite the legal mind, as all emperors must be. You will live a life of luxury and comfort, and your word shall be law!"
"If your word is law then why don't you make a law that all further emperors have to come from your line?!" I retorted.
"Because that is impossible to enforce!" Aepnet snapped. "If Kathyrine had died out there then I would have no heir, thus my line would die." Aepnet closed his eyes and lowered his head. "My wife died six years ago in a fire that destroyed a portion of the palace. I cannot remarry as is tradition. Kathyrine is my last chance to keep my line going, and I will not have her wed to a noble who will just use her to make his own clan's line the ruling one."
"You have a whole clan of suitors that she can pick from!" I snapped. "Seriously, just have her marry within your clan!"
"I could..." A faraway crossed Aepnet's face. "I could and I would, but you saved Kathyrine's life. Our laws dictate that you must be the one to marry her."
"Why?!" I groaned and began rubbing my temples again. "Seriously, all you have to do is use your whole 'my word is law' power and pick another one."
"I can't break laws!" Aepnet scoffed. "I cannot abuse my authority. Every single action I take must be within legal boundaries so as to not become a totalitarian dictator who abuses his power!" He groaned and shook his head. "And don't even get me started on what a legal nightmare the courts are. I can't exactly change laws on a whim."
"You're the emperor; the most powerful griffin on the planet!" I narrowed my eyes.
"There is still a process that I must go through." Aepnet shrugged. "I can speed things along, but part of the unification process was the creation of a parliament and courts. We chose the name emperor because it sounded dominant and because we wanted a monarchy, but I'm more of a president with a lot more power than the average one."
"I don't believe this," I groaned. "I don't suppose that you could just let me escape? Just say that I slipped away in the morning?"
"I wouldn't for the reasons stated before," Aepnet said simply. "I need an heir that I can mold into one that will carry my legacy on."
"Sounds awfully manipulative of some poor sap who doesn't want to be here."
"I believe in being honest." Aepnet clicked his tongue and began walking towards the door. "You will be my heir."
"I see." Aepnet reached for the door handle, presumably to call the guards on the other end, but I cleared my throat before he could. "There's one bit I don't get. Your dad could have used his power as emperor to make sure that his own clan ruled, right?"
Aepnet lowered his claw and slowly nodded. "Yes. He could have. However, he met my mother during a clan meeting and the two fell in love. When he was captured, it turned out that we didn't really need to create the law forcing our will upon him. He willingly became a member of our clan when he married my mother." Aepnet smiled sadly and looked back at me. "In all honesty, the law is more for lesser nobles or even commoners who are willing to carry on the legacy of my clan. None of those leeches you saw out there would be."
Aepnet opened up the door and ordered a guard to lead me to a room. I followed them to one of the guest rooms in the palace, and plopped down on the bed the minute the door closed behind me. I deeply exhaled and looked over at Oswald, who was perched on the bedside table. "You know, Oswald, his plan to carry on his legacy has a lot of holes in it. Seriously, I'm going to guess that his line is going to be gone very soon the way he thinks about things." I rolled over in the bed and took my shoes off. "Heck, when I'm the emperor I can pull a Henry the Eighth and divorce Kathyrine and just slip away in the middle of the night. I'd rather not wait until Aepnet dies to do that; however long that'll be." I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Why me?"
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because #YOLO
Huh, I wonder how TD managed to escape from this one...... or did he?!
I don't think he quiet gets it yet... stupid Griffon.
Also sounds like someone else had a hand in the fire... maybe he should look into that?
3098625 Next chapter: TD and the girls all watch as a female griffon with a crown on flies in, lands next to him and nuzzles his cheek. Then comes the sound of a baby crying and they reveal a horrible human/griffon hybrid that should be killed with fire.
3098610 You Obviously Love Octavia.
3098596
I agree
TD is the luckiest unlucky guy ever to exist in Equestria... True Story.
3098666
he is just whining.
who does not want some hawt gryphon butt?
3098640
you clever lil shit
3098610 Yeah... No. #FISH
3098640 media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9w4o3rgLN1qf2269.gif
.... Yes! No sex? Darn :P (JK)
....I'm enjoying reading it but i'm rather horrified
From where the medieval griffin knows about a presidency and the republican form of government? Stole couple of books according to the state theory from another dimension?
P.S. Dear author, your last publications suffer from a lack of the contents. I ask, pls, concentrate only on one of your storys (prf: Alicorn story).
I'm surprised TD has taken the whole "heir" thing as well as he has, but then again so far he's been going from death-defying, extraordinary situation to death-defying, extraordinary situation. Course, this is a retelling to the ponies, so he may be leaving bits out purposefully too. I certainly wouldn't put it past him.
That being said I do wonder how much of this is old news to Celestia, and how long it will be until she pulls TD up short on something. I imagine she watches the griffons pretty closely compared to the zebras or minotaurs based on species psychology comparisons given so far (ie, griffons are combative and seem to not care much for honor).
Indeed he is.I don't get whythe main cast likes himso much
3098769 You're saying that Alicorn TD doesn't have enough chapters, or I don't make them long enough?
shouldn't that be "stated before" not above? Saying above sounds like he's referring to the story format, if it was an actual conversation what he said in the past wouldn't be above him it would be before him.
3098769
How would an American know how a dictatorship or an oligarchy works? By reading a book or observing a nation that has those systems in place. If this planet's capable of having a Diarchy (Equestria), then it's not that big of a stretch to assume a republicanism or a deomcracy exists.
Also, I'm not seeing the quality drop that I think you're talking about. Everything is still most excellent. Unless you're talking about chapter length, which is really a non-issue.
Thirdly, *stories.
3098783
The final chapters of your stories are constructed competently, but as though in a hurry. For example, in the Alicorn TD story, you pass whole days, and the consecrated days suffer from lack of details and events.
P.S. I nevertheless insist that you paid attention to only one story.
3098769
Couldn't be that they came up with it on their own like we did?
Also, don't tell him to focus on a story just because you like it more, we all have preference, ya bloody Nark....
*bonus!*
Love it so far BronyWriter, but I feel this chapter was extremely short....
3098635
EAGLE CLAW!!!
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120730200226/theaquabats/images/9/93/Ec009.png
3098889 from this The Aquabats! episode
3098821
Data on the republican form of government can be in Equestria, but not in developed form that local inhabitants could argue on a presidency and division of the authorities freely. Besides the presidency and a respublicanism can't exist in the conditions of class society (nobles, comooners...) which local Griffonya is. It also raises doubts in correctness of judgments of the author.
3098864 Okay... I don't really want to know... but where in the fucking hairy Celestia's beard did you find that???
3098871
You know, it could also be slightly different, just because it has the same name; doesn't mean its EXACTLY the same, I mean, Hell its a magical land of several different species, all of which speak. Almost nothing concept wise should be exactly the same, at least no basic concepts.
3098841
They are insufficiently developed for this. At most, about what this emperor can mind is weakening of the power of the monarch in favor of the government or electoral legislative body which, in effect, carries out only consulting function.
Im free to express the preferences to the author, whose creativity I appreciate. Thx...
Well Emperor pointed out something everyone there is showing to TD, that he is a freakin moron walking through whole planet looking after magic in places that there is NONE.
Second thing. Emperor is moron. Desperate enough to risk something like it? As far as he know TD can be resistant to magic and no chance of ofspring with magic is possible.Even if, where is said that even if TD became Emperor after his death he is not going to wreck kingdom totally before kid is grown up enough to be a ruler?
hehehehahhahaAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! this is great! i wonder if TD is truly the emperor of the griffons or what! he doesnt exactly say anything during his retelling at the crystal empire, so excited to see how this pans out!
3098832 It has barely been three days.
3098901 TD is desperate. You don't have to be logical when you are desperate. He's hoping that maybe the races know of somebody who can actually help him. He has stated that he knows he's on a fool's errand, but he's TD. He's not giving up until he's exhausted every possible option.
In terms of the emperor being a moron, no duh! That's what TD thinks too. ... and his daughter for that matter. As history has shown, you don't need to be smart to be in a position of power.
3098896 Centuries ago England had a monarchy and a parliament all in one with both having power. That's where I got the idea. He's not really a president; he just said that for some context.
3098841 Next one will be longer: Pinkie Promise.
It could be worse, TD. ....You could be an Alicorn Princess of Snark and Sarcasm. XD but what are the chances of that happening, right? :D
3098930
"only" 3 days?!
Your protagonist is in a situation when his prospect categorically changed. From the former student-washdisher he turned into buckin DEMIGODDESS . Every minute of life in this form for him is new feelings, information, experience. In one day he experience so much, how many would experience about some years of ordinary life. In 2 days he would establish relations with those who wouldn't pay attention to him earlier. In 3 days he could make, what many never could make. And you coolly missed all this. It is waste.
For example:
Here (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/61802/foal-necromancer) is 4 days in 120000 words. The local protagonist was a human, but was turned into alicorn.
Come on TD, just remember the combined words of Beavis and Butt-Head and Tenacious D...
1:39 - 1:48
Just close your eyes and get it over with.
Come on, after being around nothing but females, regardless of species, yeah, you're going to get desperate.
3098963
Yes, but it was monarchy, not a republic.
3098871
Okay, honestly, I have no idea what the fuck you're on about. I never said anything to imply that I thought Griffonia was a democracy or a republicanism. You asked where Aepnet would have the knowledge to make a comparison about his seat of power to another. I answered that question in a way that didn't so much as hint that I thought that Griffonia was such a government. I live in a country that has a democratic process. Am I not allowed to know how a totalitarianist or communist system works without having to tear the time-space continuum into tiny shreds in the process?
I also have no idea where you're getting the idea that no country on this planet is developed enough to run under a democratic system. Just because we only see one country in canon, and it's a country that's flourishing under a Diarchy, doesn't mean others aren't more developed than that one.
3098832
In response to this post, I have to again question what you're on about. Is he supposed to dictate everything that happens on every single passing day? There are going to be times where nothing earth-shattering or even mildly noteworthy happens to the main character. In those instances, a time skip is more than acceptable since trying to write about those days would probably drag the pacing of the story through the proverbial (and sometimes literal) mud.
Not everybody is set out to write a new Royal Duties, you know.
3098968
I sure hope so. You just write it out, and I'll take care of all the bugs for ya.
3098978
Or get married with Ponyville´s local nympho because certain trio ignored the basic procedures about disposing of dangerous alchemical potions.
Seriously, one may think the universe has arranged things to make sure TD is screwed no matter what choice he takes on life.
global3.memecdn.com/doomed_o_287098.jpg
3099013 Yeah, and this is mostly a monarchy. not a republic. Look, the fact that I'm trying to establish is that the emperor is a paranoid moron who doesn't want to get under the... er... claws of the nobles, so he tries wild schemes to get one over them that they can't block. On top of that, he's scared of overstepping his bounds and being made to look like a total dictator by ignoring the parliament that in reality has far less power than he's worried about.
Heh, i can't believe i actually called it. Poor TD is so bucked (well not yet).
3098993 Style choice, I suppose, but I've tried to talk about all three of those days. There is his ascension that's day one and the garden party was that day... wait, it might only be two. Including the day of his ascension.
3098993
Ah, but in that tale, is the human so snarky and loathing of his (ahem, "her") new role to the point where he probably doesn't really care for it? This is mainly written from his/her perspective, and considering the character, it's not unexpected that he would leave a lot out due to a simple lack of caring for any/all of it.
3099052 Precisely. That's TD for you. Does he really want to state every boring garden party, court session, and talk with the other three that's similar? It'd waste time. But you're right. I did expand it a little bit to show what he's been doing.
3098957 In his case (Emperor) he's only right to be in such position is because of being born in such position... but this is sad rule on our world as well.
3099060
Exactly why I said it.
3099075 Exactly. If I listed all of the monarchs who were unfit to rule I'd be listing until tomorrow.
3099024
I meant that in stories with such plot it is necessary to pay more attention to the first days of life of protagonists in his new form. As these days he behaves much more actively, learning the world, experiencing habitual feelings from other point of view.
Royal Duties is being remembered work. And it is far not because of pornographic contents. It is clopfiction, and our dear author here writes the comedy. I speak about the comedy.
3099050
Egh? I thought key words was "after 3 days": after events of ascension, garden party and other..?
I guess in the end they come up with a compromise that if TD can't find a way home then he marry's Kathrine.
That'd give him more intensive to search harder.
Just an idea, the whole forced wedding thing is hilarious!