Catch the Chicken, Rocky
I cracked my neck and limbered up. Finally I was going to learn a skill that I could appreciate right off the bat. No more beings were going to bet their upper whatever they had for hands on me! "I'm ready, Tycho!” I said excitedly. “Let's do this!"
Tycho nodded. "Good. You'll need that enthusiasm." He walked up next to me and took Reginald out of my hands. "Now, I've led you to the perimeter of the city. The city is fifty miles around. Do one lap as fast as you can."
My smile slowly faded. I shot him a quizzical look. "Um... really?"
He scoffed. "No, it's an April Foal's joke. Of course, really! Now hop to it!"
"Um..."
I figured that, if he was part of a warrior culture, then he'd know how to do this. I'd been walking every day for months by then, so it's not like my legs hadn't gained some muscle from that. So I obeyed and began running. At first it was pretty easy, for that exact reason. I thought maybe I could do that.
Or at least, I did until I began to get winded. Not having my backpack meant that my water bottle wasn’t with me, so I couldn't stop for a break. Not that Tycho would have let me in the first place.
The zebra in question ran up beside me, smiling idly. "Having fun yet?"
"This is a cake walk!" I growled back. "No problem at all!"
"Oh good. Then the other forty miles shouldn't be a problem at all. We can move on to the next stage of your training that much faster!"
I almost stopped right there, but forced myself to keep going. "Forty?!"
Tycho nodded. "Yep, forty miles. I admit, you did a decent job running the first ten, but let's see how you do next!"
Oh dear.
I still pressed onwards. I couldn't look weak in front of this zebra; that was out of the question for me. I was done looking like a weakling in front of other species. I was done being tossed around like a chew toy! I was... I was...
An hour later and I was so exhausted I was almost crawling. That didn't stop Tycho from shouting at me to keep going. "Come on, you only have another thirty-five miles to go! I thought you said this was a cake walk! Were you lying? Do you come from a race of liars? I've seen foals that have run this track without breaking a sweat! Are you this weak?"
I was far too exhausted to answer him and in a few moments one of my legs gave out and I nearly tumbled to the ground, but I righted myself back up and forced it and its twin to keep running for all I was worth. My lungs were gasping for air, screaming for me to stop for a moment and take an eight-hour-long nap, but I ignored them. My heart was about to pound through my ribs, but I pushed on through the pain. My legs were on fire, I was almost blinded by the sweat that was dripping in my eyes, but I... I...
I collapsed on the ground in complete exhaustion two minutes later.
I heard a sigh from above. I managed to open my eyes to see Tycho looking down at me and shaking his head. "You admittedly went for about two minutes longer than I thought you would have before you started. Over half the course is okay for a first-timer." He looked up, and I followed his gaze to see Soundspeed and Oswald flying over to us, the former of which with my backpack on.
He landed next to me and hoofed over the water bottle, which I drained from completely full to parched-dry in ten seconds. "He did better than I thought he would," he observed to Tycho.
The zebra frowned at his friend. "That's what I said."
Soundspeed chuckled. "It's kinda sad, if you think about it. I could fly this course in about twenty minutes on a bad day."
I glowered up weakly at the two of them. "Don't... have... wings."
Tycho clicked his tongue. "Excuses, excuses, human," he said with a shake of his head. "I don't have wings either, and I could do this no problem." He nudged my leg with a hoof. "Your downfall is that you gave up."
"I was gonna collapse in... two minutes anyway," I scoffed quietly.
Tycho frowned. "Uh-huh. And didn’t it occur to you that you could keep going for those two minutes you thought you had, and if you really did collapse you could rest up a bit and keep going? If you're in a fight to the death and you know you only have two minutes left in you, do you give up before you absolutely have to, or do you keep fighting in the hope that you can somehow pull a victory off before your time runs out?"
I groaned and tried sucking a few more drops out of my water bottle. I knew he was right, but I was too tired to either admit it or argue it. My lungs had only just begun to stop yelling at me; they were just murmuring venomous threats. I put my hands on top of my head to allow myself to breathe easier.
Tycho sat on his haunches in front of me. "Okay, since you seem to have given up for the time being and it’s getting later in the evening, I'm gonna toss a little food your way. But!, you are going to stay right here on this track until you complete the course. Feel free to get up and begin running again whenever you feel like it, but you don't get to rest in a proper bed and get a proper meal until you do.
“You know where you started off. When you get there, come find me."
With that, he and Soundspeed walked off to do other things, leaving Oswald perched on my backpack. He was looking down at me worriedly, so I used some of my remaining strength to scratch his head. "I'll be... fine," I wheezed. "Gonna... wipe the floor with Tycho when... I get good enough." He snorted and fluttered his wings. I shot him a glare. "Thanks for the... vote of confidence."
* * * *
I stayed on the ground for about half an hour before I finally managed to regain the strength to push myself up again and keep going. I figured that, if I had made it halfway through on the first shot, I could push myself to finish the run with a final burst.
I endured both the bemused stares and chuckles of the zebra population that saw me running the perimeter and kept going. Tycho might think that I was weak, but I wasn’t a quitter and I was going to show him that. I could finish the task he had set for me and I was going to prove it!
Unfortunately, uplifting thoughts and reality don't often coincide for very long, and two hours later I was wheezing for breath on the dirt again. I don't know how close I was to the finishing point right then, but I hardly cared at this point. I was just too darned exhausted. Hopefully this would be the last time I had to do something this difficult and we could move on to the easier things like beating each other silly with wooden poles.
As you can imagine, I eventually got a hold of what I had in me for that final push, and I finally made it back to where we had begun. It was nighttime by then, and Soundspeed and Tycho were both relaxing at the finish line, munching on carrots. When I crossed it, I immediately collapsed on the ground, hardly noticing that Oswald had flown in behind me with my bag in his talons.
Tycho gulped down the last of his carrot and smirked at me. "All right, it only took you seven hours." He stood up and walked over to me. "Now you get that bed and food, just like I told you. If you'll follow me…"
I nodded numbly and pushed myself up without even feeling that I was moving. He led me into a small cabin, where I collapsed with a groan on the bed. Tycho chuckled beckoning another zebra who had a plate of veggies and a pitcher of water on a tray balanced on her back inside. I dug in eagerly once she placed it all on a nearby table.
"You seem hungry," Tycho observed. I shot him a glare, but didn't respond to his needling. "It's best that you rest up. Tomorrow you’re doing it again."
My eyes widened, but before I could say another word, I realized Tycho had already left the cabin with the other zebra.
~~~
I sigh and run a hand through my shaggy head. "The next few months were some of the most miserable I've ever experienced. Every day Tycho dragged me out of bed at the crack of dawn and made me do the run. It was drag myself out in the morning, drag myself in at night."
Apple Bloom cocks her head. "Now why would he be makin' you run around every day without actually teachin' ya? Ah thought that's what he was gonna do."
I just give her a look. “Remember those two guards?”
“… point taken.”
"So this Tycho feller did get around to doin' what he promised you he'd do," said Applejack.
I nodded. "But that wasn't for quite some time."
~~~
Like I said, all he had me do for the first few months in Zenya was make me run the perimeter of the city. It was absolute torture, but I noticed that after the first week, I could actually complete the course without dropping like a rotten fruit, and almost every day from then on, I was a little bit faster and in need of shorter, less frequent breaks. I don't know exactly how long it took, but Tycho made me keep going through everything.
Finally, on what I think was the second month of my stay, I completed the course without stopping even once. I have to admit, I was pretty proud of myself. I reached the finish line, tired to the bone as usual, but rather pleased. I shot Tycho a smug grin and sat down on the ground triumphantly. "There. I did your... stupid run! Without a single break…!"
Tycho for his part looked rather impressed, something that just made me even more pleased. "You did good. You sure took your time, but you did finish, and that's what counts."
I put my hands on my head to increase air flow to my lungs. "So... you gonna... teach me now?"
Tycho shrugged. "You'll just have to see what I have planned for you tomorrow." I groaned, facepalming hard, and he put a sympathetic hoof on my shoulder. "Easy. I promise, when I'm done with you, no Diamond Dog is ever gonna get the upper paw on you again. Just think of that as your goal.” He leaned closer with a conspiring grin. “Maybe you can even go back and get some sweet payback on them, hm?"
I chuckled weakly, motioning over to Oswald. "The bird blew them up. I couldn't do it if I wanted to."
While Soundspeed smirked in the background, Tycho returned my laugh. "That's right, I think you told me that once." He motioned for me to get up, and I did so, much more easily than I thought. It made me smile. "Okay, now that you completed the course, I think it's time for a well-deserved break for today. Tomorrow’s gonna strain you quite a bit, but you've built up some good muscle from all this, so the transition should be easier for you."
"I hope so," I said. Then I paused for a second and frowned. "You're not going to make me run the course twice tomorrow, are you?"
Tycho smirked and shook his head. "No. Not that exactly, anyway." After that ominous statement, he trotted off to wherever he came from. I assume it was Hell.
* * * *
I was awakened before the sun was up by Tycho repeatedly poking me in the side. It was something that happened every day since day one, so I wasn't too irritated at him anymore... mostly. "Up, up, up and at 'em, TD," he chanted happily. "Phase two of your training is about to commence!"
That day, I pushed myself out of bed much faster than usual. I couldn't wait to see what he had in stock for me this time. That’s not to say I wasn’t nervous about this phase two of his, because I was, but I'd succeeded with running around the city without stopping, and let me tell you, fifty miles is no cakewalk even for a very fit human. I had the confidence that I could meet his standards again.
I stepped out of cabin after he did, followed by Oswald. I had acquired the habit of leaving my backpack in the cabin and only bringing a water bottle out when I went on my morning runs. Soundspeed was waiting at the starting line of the ‘Orbit’, as I called it, much like he always did. But this time, there were two zebra foals with him. I couldn't say how old they were exactly, but they sure enough were younger than you Crusaders on our first meeting.
Seeing that, Tycho smiled and beckoned me closer. "Ah, good, they're here. We can begin."
"I'm ready for whatever you have to throw at me today," I said confidently. ‘As long as it isn't running around the city twice’, I added mentally.
Tycho's grin widened. I noticed a hint of evil in there. "That's good. That's very good." He motioned towards the foals. "These are my sons: the one on the left is Brahe, and the other one is Ottesen."
The two waved at me, and I raised a hand in greeting.
"Now for your next assignment: pick them up."
I nodded, unsure of where this was going but unwilling to complain, and picked up the foals. Both were pretty light, though a bit heavy for their size. "Okay, now what?"
To my horror, Tycho motioned over to the course I had just gotten okay-to-good at running. "Now you hop to it. You know the drill."
The two kids in my arms giggled.
Had I been drinking, there would be a spit-take right there. "What?!"
"Do a lap around the periphery just like you’ve been doing. However, if you drop one of them,” he said, gesturing to the foals, “you have to start aaall over again!"
He wasn’t the slightest bit worried that they could get hurt if that happened!
Soundspeed snickered, and I shot him a glare to shut him up. It didn't work and the two shorties joined him. I would have asked if Tycho was serious if I didn’t know darn well that he was.
So, with a sigh, I began my run.
Within ten minutes I was back at the starting line. I’d dropped Brahe.
Ten minutes after that, back at the starting line again, this time for having let go of Ottesen.
Five minutes later, I dropped them both.
Yeah, not good.
* * * *
It was another month before I could get even halfway into the course. I mean, have you ever run around an entire city, carrying two bundles of giggles that start weighing a ton after half a mile and laugh at you every time you fail? I might be the only human in history who’s ever had to do that.
Whenever I found myself at the starting line, which was often, my frustration grew, to the point where punting those two became a rather tempting idea. But don’t worry, that’s something I never did, one, because they didn’t actually make things difficult when I ran aside from their weight, and two… I wasn’t sure it would even hurt them. I mean, I'm not sure how they did it, but every time I dropped them, they rolled with more agility than Twilight has finesse with her magic, and they didn’t even get dust in their coats. It was like they repelled damage.
Anyway… yeah, that’s how it went. Drop, back to the start. Drop and drop, back to the start. Drop and drop, giggle, refrain from beating two zebras to death, back to the start. And so it went, for a very, very long time.
On the other hand, though, I did notice one thing as the months dragged on. I was getting more and more fit, gaining muscle by the day, to the point where carrying Brahe and Ottesen was getting hard to feel. Sure, they sometimes squirmed and startled me into almost dropping them in those instances, but I confess that those were my own fault for jostling them too much as I ran. That happened less and less, too. And if that wasn’t enough, I was getting faster.
As much as I hate to admit it, and I really, really do, I could see why Tycho was making me do all of this. It's easier to win a brawl if you're strong and fast, and I was neither at the beginning.
By the time I could complete the course perfectly, I felt strong enough to hold my own against a bear for at least a few minutes. I was never the buff type when I went to college, so there wasn’t much to show, but I sure felt like a power lifting champion. It felt good.
~~~
"Don't get me wrong: I'm not the kind of guy who stares at his reflection all day, complimenting himself on how good he looks, but feeling that I wasn't going to get destroyed every time I got in a fight because I was a million times weaker than everybody I went up against is still a pretty nice thing."
"Indeed, I did notice that you have more of a wiry look about you," Rarity remarks.
I raise an eyebrow. "Was that the first thing that you noticed when my coat was off?"
She turns her head away with a blush that's easy to notice under her white coat. "Of course not, darling. It is simply a matter of it being the most noticeable change, is all."
“So it wasthe first thing you noticed,” I tease. Oswald giggles and I smirk. "I didn't know you found stuff like me attractive. I mean, I always assumed that you would think muscle is nice on a stallion, but for one to ogle an alien?"
She blushes even redder, and the rest of the gathered ponies have to hide their own faces of amusement at my needling. "Would you please get back to the story?" Rarity huffs out.
I snort and wave my hand, the smirk never leaving my face. "Fine, fine, if you insist…"
* * * *
Even though I achieved the new goal, I still found myself having to do the Orbit every day for about a week, carrying Brahe and Ottesen of course. It got to the point where, at the end of it, I was winded but not drop-dead spent, which was good, because Tycho’s next assignment may just as well have been the most difficult one, despite not being the most physically taxing thing.
One day, he led me to a chicken pen, where the chickens sat in individual cages, clucking away like all chickens do. Tycho and I climbed in. "Now that you've built up your stamina, it's time for you to build up your agility." He walked over to the nearest chicken cage and opened it up, and the chicken immediately leaped out of the cage and began running around like... well, a chicken. Tycho grinned and pointed to it. "Catch it."
I raised my eyebrow, following the chicken with my eyes. "Is that all?"
Tycho nodded, smirking. "That's all. Let me know when you're done. If it's as easy as you seem to think it is, then you shouldn't have to take more than a few minutes to do it, right?"
Now, by this point, I was rather wary of the difficulty of the tasks that zebra set for me. He thought that I wasn't going to be able to do this one any time soon, but just like before, I wanted to prove him wrong. I was already limbered up from the Orbit, so I bolted after the chicken before he left the coop.
I swear, Tycho greased that thing somehow before he set it loose. No matter what I did, no matter how fast I thought I was swiping at it, I couldn't catch the chicken. That featherbrain was always one step ahead of me. The only thing I was grateful for was that it couldn't fly because it tried to take off several times.
Still, even though it was a lot harder than I expected it to be and I received a few scratches along the way, I finally managed to grab the thing. I triumphantly turned around to put it back in its pen, but when I turned around, I saw a smiling Tycho… and his smile wasn't one of pride, it was one of mischievousness. “I never said you’d be done after the first part, did I?”
I shifted uneasily. "Tycho... why are you–"
Before I could finish, he turned around and opened up the chicken cages. Every. Single. Freaking. One.
I swear, that weasel was more gleeful than he was smug. "Catch the chickens, TD!"
Then he ran over to me and batted the chicken I was currently holding out of my hand.
I groaned. "You have got to be kidding me," I muttered under my breath. He wasn't, so I went back to work trying to catch... I think it was about two dozen chickens. But, like before, I wasn't going to complain that he was being unfair, despite how much I was looking forward to actually trouncing him. He was trying to bring me to my physical peak and I knew it.
That knowledge didn't make catching friggin' chickens any more tolerable, or easier for that matter. There were times when I would catch one only to have it wiggle out of my grasp. There were even two separate times when I'd catch one and put it back in the cage, but a different chicken running around would crash against the cage, it’d tip over, the lock would undo itself… and I think you can imagine the rest.
Eventually things evolved to the point where I'd only be able to catch the chickens because they were too tired to go on. Still, a capture was a capture, and I relished every victory I had over those dumb birds. I'm a human, gosh darn it, and I'm smarter than a bunch of chickens... just not more agile.
Again Tycho made me do it day after day, but with strength and stamina on my side, focusing on agility was a lot easier, and it wasn't more than a week before I could catch them all in under an hour. He considered it good enough.
The day right after that, I reached the Orbit’s finish line to see Tycho smiling at me as usual. This time, though, it was one of pride. "You have done well these past months. You've improved quite a bit."
I took a long drink out of my water bottle before answering. "Thank you. It's been miserable, looking at it from this end."
He and Soundspeed both smirked. "I'm sure it has been,” he continued, “but now it is time for you to begin what I told you to I would: I'm actually going to teach you to use that silly twig of yours."
After a smile of my own and a nuzzle of pride from Oswald, the two led me out to an open field just beyond Zenya’s outskirts. Tycho, with a staff of his own balanced on his back, directed me to stand in front of him. "Okay, TD, there are six motions that I would like to teach you that will be a good starting point for any fight you are likely to get into."
"I'm ready for them," I nodded, grasping Reginald.
"Good. Now, the six motions are as follows."
To my surprise, Tycho stood up on his hind legs and grasped his own staff in his hooves. I raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't know you could do that."
He scoffed. "I've had to fight minotaurs, and they stand twice as tall as I do. Either you learn to fight on your hind legs or you find yourself at a serious disadvantage in a fight against taller foes." He cracked his neck. "Okay, the six motions are these…"
Tycho swung his staff towards his upper right side. "One." Upper left. "Two." Lower right. "Three." Lower left. "Four." He raised the staff above his head and swung down. "Five." Finally, he lunged forward in a stabbing motion. "Six." He got back down on all fours. "Understand?"
I nodded.
"Good. Now copy those motions in the exact order I say. If you mess up, you're starting all over again, just like when you ran with my sons."
I nodded and adjusted my grip on Reginald. "Let’s do it."
Tycho chuckled. "We'll see." He took a deep breath.
"One."
I swung up to position one.
"Two. Three. Four. Five. Six."
I copied his orders flawlessly, fighting to hold back a smirk. I foolishly believed that it would be simpler than what I had been doing… again. I will admit that it was, but that didn't mean that Tycho was going to go any easier on me.
That smugness caused the first misstep.
"One, two , six, five... no, that's four. Two, one, six, five, two, one. Nope, you did number three."
Yeah, things kinda snowballed from there.
We went back to that same old rhythm: I failed constantly, but with every day, I improved, reacting faster and with more accuracy. Tycho didn't let me spar with anybody in that beginning, not even a few minutes with him, but by then I more than knew I wasn’t ready for it, so I never asked. Over and over and over again it went until they became a blur, an instinct that I felt I had possessed my entire life, the motions slowly becoming as natural to me as breathing.
Finally, after days and days of getting the sequences right several times in a row, Tycho allowed other zebras to come to our training session. He had never let anyzebra come aside from Brahe and Ottesen, so when he did authorize spectators, half the town came along to witness my daily training routine. They circled around us to create a sort of arena, at Tycho's insistence.
I knew it was time as soon as he made the request. "We’re moving to spars today, aren't we?"
He smirked at me. "Your observational skills have improved, boy. Today you will be sparring with me. You've been waiting for this for a long time, haven't you?"
I returned his smirk. "You'd better believe it. I’m warning you right now, though, I'm not going to be a softie that gets distracted from his opponent."
"Oh I'm sure you won't. I trained you out of being that after all," he shot back as he moved to stand on his hind legs. He grasped his staff. "Just remember that you must be prepared for anything and everything, and I mean everything plus the kitchen sink."
I adjusted Reginald in my grasp, cracking my neck as I did. "As a talking duck back home used to say: let's get dangerous!"
Tycho tilted his head. "As you wish." Then, without warning, he let out a war cry and swung his staff at my head, hard.
I moved Reginald up to parry the blow with a speed I never had on Earth, and swung at one of Tycho's legs in a low sweep, intending to take his legs out from under him and wailing on him while he was down, but Tycho literally jumped up and Reginald hit nothing but air. Mid-air, he moved to strike my side, but I swung up and knocked his blow up and above my head.
And so our dance continued, each trying to land a blow on the other. Sure, neither of us was aiming for crippling the other, but bruises were fair play… especially if I was the one doing the bruising. Tycho had made me endure a lot on the past seven or so months, and I was not about to go down without making him feel at least a bit sore in the morning.
As the spar dragged on, I came to a realization: as good as Tycho was on his hind legs, it just wasn’t natural to him like it was for me. He just wasn't built to fight like that for prolonged periods of time. While he had definitely practiced enough to stand on his hind legs to the point he could keep up with a human, it had been my go-to stance for my entire life. It was likely that he was used to dispatching his minotaur opponents rather quickly when he fought upright, so he didn't have to stand on them for more than a few minutes at most. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say minotaurs were bulkier than humans in nature, so they moved slower than I did while making up for it with brute strength, so Tycho didn’t have to deal with the loss in endurance and skill for long enough for it to matter.
However, while I wasn't as strong as your average minotaur, I was fast. Really dang fast. And while I was more than strong enough for any blow that I landed to hurt, my advantages lay in both the speed and agility that Tycho had imprinted in me with our training sessions.
With all of that in mind, I kept swinging at his hind legs, knowing that he could not dodge forever. Of course I didn't exclusively do that: I still swung at his head and torso, just to be unpredictable. I don't doubt that he had my strategy down already, and was considering a counter that would throw me off the offense to focus on defense, but for now, I was on top of the game.
While I did defend as necessary, my anger and resentment towards that zebra fueled me on, but at the same time I made sure that it didn't blind me and left me open to a table-turning blow. Tycho would show no mercy if he found an opening; I didn’t want him to, and I would do the same.
Whether by luck or the skill I had acquired, I landed a blow on his right hind leg, and he stumbled. His staff fell out of his hooves, and I kicked it away before it fell to the ground, taking the chance to get another strike in on his back. I considered another, lighter tap to his head to seal my victory, but I decided against it.
And that was a bad decision.
I heard a pair of war cries behind me and wheeled around to see two zebras charge at me with those wooden combat boots on.
I remembered Tycho’s words: ‘be prepared for anything and everything.’
Despite the fact that I was rapidly running out of energy, I spun around entirely and readied Reginald for round two.
As I expected, my two new opponents tried to get me in a pincer maneuver. Their speed was equal and I was unsure that I could repel them both without sustaining injury. I had to make a decision and fast.
I went on the offensive on the zebra to my right. His arsenal had nowhere near the reach that mine did, so I did not have to get as close to attack him as he had to get to me. Unfortunately, that left my left open. I dodged back just far enough that I would have only gotten a small cut on my flank – you know, the side of the stomach in a biped – if the other zebra’s blade was real, but that was bad enough. In a real battle, a wound like that could be fatal depending on circumstances.
I swung Reginald to my right and cracked the wood against the second zebra’s skull. She dropped instantly, clutching her head and moaning.
And once again, I left my other side open.
The zebra to my right landed a blow that would have definitely been fatal if the weapon was real. I grunted in as a sharp pain coursed through my side where the blow had landed, backing away with a wild, clumsy swing that he dodged easily. Cursing my own foolishness, I readjusted my stance and readied myself for another shot at him.
It was then that I felt another sharp sting of pain, this time in the back of my lower legs. I sidestepped to keep both sides within sight range, only to see Tycho stand back up on all fours, ready for a second coming.
I took a second to wipe sweat from my brow. They were really putting me through the wringer.
Thanks to Tycho's half white complexion, I could see the bruise on his back. He had his weapon in his mouth, but seemed to be ready to jump back on his hind legs at any second, and I took it as meaning that I'd have to really get one of his hind legs if I wanted to keep him down for the count. As it was, he was limping slightly; he would not be able to stay bipedal as long as he’d been at the start of the fight. As for me, the back of my leg where he had struck hurt, I’m not about to deny that, but as I said, I had the advantage of twenty years of experience in that stance. I could shrug off the ache more readily than a natural quadruped could.
Like before, both my opponents lunged forward. The unnamed zebra reached me first, as while Tycho had to strut forward on two to use his weapon effectively, he had the ability to run on all four legs without hindrance. I dodged to the side and swung Reginald upwards just below the zebra's neckline; he attempted to dodge, but still got clipped by the very edge. Tycho was far enough away that I was able to move to deflect the sideways swing he delivered, sending one of my own towards his flank. As usual, he jumped, but he was too slow for me not to hit his hoof right next to the fetlock line. He jerked in mid-air, but before I could press the advantage, he planted the end of his staff on the ground and used that to push himself back onto his back hooves in time for him to avoid my swing at his shoulder.
Growling, I turned my attention back to the other zebra, swinging downwards at his head hard enough that he couldn't parry. Reginald connected with his forehead, and that made it just me and Tycho left in the fight.
I backed away two or three steps, taking deep breaths. "Okay, buddy, it's just you and me now, unless you have somebody else you'd like to use to attack me from behind."
Tycho cackled, taking a step forwards. "Remember what I said: be prepared for anything!"
I cracked my neck. "Don't hold back, buddy."
Tycho chuckled. "Well, if you insist."
He leapt forwards and swung down with his staff in a heavy blow. I only barely blocked it, and I gotta say, he hit so hard I stumbled backwards. He used that window I presented to him to land three sharp hits on my left leg, and I fell to the ground. Then I was hit on the hand and got Reginald kicked away from me.
Before I could react any further, Tycho slammed a hoof onto my chest, pinning me to the ground.
He leaned his head over me and grinned. "A pretty solid effort, but if you were in a real fight, this is where your opponent would stand over you, gloating before the finishing blow, just as I am now."
To what I'm sure was Tycho's total surprise, a large grin crossed my face. "In that instance, he's going to regret ignoring your primary rule.” Before he could react, I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him close, taking a little surprise out of my belt and holding it to his throat. I raised my head to whisper in his ear. "If this were a real battle, you'd be well on your way to getting yourself sliced open by now."
As he lay almost draped over me, with Watt’s flint knife near his jugular, Tycho's mouth formed an 'o' that didn’t take long to evolve into a knowing smirk. "I'd say that's cheating, but in a real battle that little stunt would mean that you are alive and your opponent is not."
I released his head and he backed away from me.
"I concede this well-earned victory, such as it is," he said respectfully.
I smiled and pushed myself up. "I accept. You weren't so bad yourself."
Tycho laughed uproariously, while the surrounding zebras and Soundspeed stomped their hooves in applause. A couple of medics went to go check on the zebras I had taken out, even though they seemed to be mostly okay save for a few ache-y marks. I myself limped over to my backpack, where Oswald was perched, and he murred happily, flying up to perch on my shoulder. I stroked his back and leaned down to get my half-filled bottle of water.
Mid-swig, I had the hunch to turn around. Tycho was standing behind me. "I've just received word that Hansit's divorce proceedings have just gone through, TD. He's back in office and attending appointments again… and you’re first on the list."
BTW, this is my full-sized avatar. 
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Okay, that training session. Has Tycho been watching Dragonball Z?
And I know exactly what it's like to run like that. About 13 miles is the point where I'm fucked, but that's all in one go!
pretty good training montage there ... looking forward to the next chapters ... keep them coming
ooooooooooo yes
yay
this was awesome
As a 'training' chapter, this was managed very well. You're getting pretty good at action sequences, I have to say.
2395119 Next time, on Dragon Ball Zebra! :P
Honestly, I was thinking the same thing. I know that everything here is usually part of a traditional training routine in a story, but do excuse me if having to run a considerable distance over the course of several months and then being told to chase after wild animals doesn't remind me just a little bit of Snake Way and King Kai.
Good times...
2395225 Precisely what went through my mind. Although, if TD had an MP3 player, this, I'm sure would have been on....
Or perhaps...
2395240 Might I recommend...
Those 6 positions... they wouldn't happen to be fencing positions and movements, would they?
My compliments. You really worked writting the training chapter. Now I´m awaiting to see TD in reall action.
P.E: so, the Hansit´s wife affair plot has been aborted? Such a pity.
Huh, you did those fighting sequences pretty well.
But it needs more intiminate zebra-bro moments.
But we can't have that CAN WE.
NOPE LITTLE JUNIOR, THE PLOT NEEDS TO GO FORWARD.
Sorry. Genuinely sorry.
I just don't know what is wrong with me, for the past week I had just madness and anger in me.
i lost the game.
Hmm, maybe TD should learn Kung Fu from Dash now. Fucking make TD a walking badass.
:| Darkwing Duck. DARKWING. DUCK. XD TD's badass line was yoinked from Darkwing. Duck.
...
Overall, I've enjoyed this and the preceeding stories, but the training in particular brought a smile to my face. I have to say that I had three major thoughts while I was reading the chapter.
1. 15 miles is no joke. I personally can run that in a little over 2 hours, and I recently participated in a half-marathon that has reassured me that I can indeed do it, and be ready for more. However, I realize that this is usually the anomaly, not the standard. Good for you for sticking through it TD! :)
2. Wow, carrying anything and then doing a marathon? You now have my respect. The most I've done was a 40 pound sandbag for 2 miles, and that wiped me out. 2 foals would be what, ~100 pounds? Training has been upped from hard to insane.
3. The chickens...
You realize that if that in fact happened you would have killed a large number of those birds? Humans are the stamina freaks of nature, and in our hunter-gatherer phase of the past, we would literally run our prey till they died. When I was little I ended up killing one of my grandmother's chickens by doing exactly that sort of chicken-chasing. Energetic, singularly-focused child vs chicken for 20 minutes? The thing literally dropped dead in the middle of the chase, and it wasn't particularly hot outside.
I enjoyed the chapter, and I hope you continue as soon as you are able.
Apologies, but what was he going to see Hansit for? I completely forgot
2395865Help getting the f
k outta Equestria (spoilers: it doesn't work out.)
2395443 Standard fencing I'm not sure about, but I know that in broadsword fighting there are 8 basic moves, so I'd say it's more than likely
Very happy to see TD kick some plot. Look forward the the next update, and props on TD for calling our Rarity for checking him out. I'll bet that was embarrassing for her.
That was a good chapter I'd say.
It should also be noted that a minotaur is way less flexible compared to a human. All that muscle can get in the way and some can't reach behind their backs.
I present a chapter of awesome
Somehow, I can see Tycho and King Kai being great friends.
For some reason, this reminded me of the training sequence from The Matrix.
Also, Tycho's children are named Ottesen and Brahe.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2b/Tycho_Brahe.JPG
Tycho Ottesen Brahe.
I see what you did there.
Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
2396627 Finally somebody got that!
2395746
Dash knows Karate, not Kung Fu.
2396731 Krav Pega actually.
2396642encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTgCk3iHSQPwKoKNZoDoDIagSO-U7j522_eMYIxRi3ufkyfxYV-
2395270>>2395240 What about:
2396779
media.desura.com/images/members/1/863/862969/Awesome_Smiley_Sniper_TF2_by_S.png
G'day!
2396731 while dash is hardcore there are still two four ponies that can beat her
Luna & Celestia: No shit of course
Twilight Sparkle: Same reason
Lyra Heartstrings: Still Way grandmaster :Insert emoticon here:
Those movements seem like defense tactics for using a Bo Staff. My karate classes actually paid off!
lol this is by far my favorite chapter ... for now at least
2397004 I just read that isn't that the fanfic four score reference?
I don't go OCD over the typos because I'm smart enough to know what he's saying. :P Context clues people, they help when you least expect it.
This story has reinforced my resolution for the year of getting into shape. Now I need to start doing crunches...I hate doing crunches.
2395860 Trained myself by carrying my body weight in firewood 2 miles through the forest near my house. After cutting it down with a handsaw and an axe. I got to the point where I could carry a 12-foot cedar log about 15 inches in diameter (dry wood, not wet, that was too heavy) the whole distance. Can't do oak that large. It's 3-4 times the density of cedar, and about as much heavier.
Two years ago I did a 220 mile bike-a-thon (Biking is much easier than running. Much less pressure and damage to the joints due to the smooth circular pedaling motion).
I also moved all the topsoil in my 900 sq ft garden down the street to a new location using only a shovel and wheelbarrow last winter.
I am Super Geek. Or maybe Ultra Man! (You'll never guess "My Secret Identity"!)
Wow, I pulled that reference from way down in the deep dark recesses of 80's memories.
I've never run 15 miles before, though. Walked around 20 on several occaisions (my walking speed is about 3 mph), but I don't think I could run nonstop for 15 miles. I've run a 5K in 34 minutes, but that left me rather winded. Jogging, maybe... Hmm, now I'm curious to know if I can manage it. I'd need to get back in shape a bit, this winter had such nasty weather I didn't get out as much as usual.
My brother, however, did a 26-mile leukemia marathon a few years after finishing his treatment. And that after the doctors thought his bones and joints would be ruined by the chemotherapy. But no, he healed so completely he astounded everyone.
I need to start calculating how far I skate (rollerblade, not skateboard) when I go out skating laps now.
Tycho....
Brahe....
Don't think we didn't see that.
2395443 as both an epee and foil fencer, they are similar, but the five position isn't quite right for a fencer, and a lunge isn't numbered. Then again, as a fencer, I only use 4, 6, 7, and 8 for naming the various guards.
This Was An Epic Training Chapter.
Very Well Detailed
2395648 I Think It Should Be Called
"Ze-bro Moments"
You Know,To Shorten It?
2399736
Yes. That would work.
A shame that we are leaving the Zebra part of the story.
I wonder what we will FLY into in the next chapter.
2399745
I See What You Did Thar.
2399861
But did you get it how you were supposed to get it, and instead you got it in a different way that wasn't meant to get it.
I don't even.
2399869 Well,
I Think That When We Are Thinking About Thinking,We Think We Thought About Thinking About Thinking But We Are Just Thinking Thoughts About Thinking.
2399870
Well, then.
...
Anyway, yes ZebraxTD shipping.
2399873 I Agree
what??? what divorce proceedings? why is he the first what? did i miss something?
2399950 The reason Hansit couldn't see TD in the first place is because he thought his wife was cheating on him. Obviously she was.
2399950
Gotta read last chapter, when he first tries to meet with the zebra boss man :p