Morning has arrived.
Even after all the time that has passed, one of the first things I think of is how many mornings it’s been since he left. I lost count a while ago.
I push the blanket off me with a burst of telekinesis and hop out of my bed. I smell apple cinnamon pancakes, my favorites. Spike is definitely already up and making breakfast.
I take a few seconds to comb my mane before heading down to the kitchen, where, as I am thankful to see, Spike has already finished making the pancakes. "Morning, Twilight," he greets me.
"Good morning, Spike," I reply with a smile.
"Breakfast is ready, if you want to dig in. I think the syrup is in the pantry if you want any."
I nod and use my magic to bring the syrup, and drizzle it over the two pancakes Spike has put on a plate in front of me. Then, I'm digging in. I hadn't realized how hungry I was when I first woke up.
As I chew, Spike puts this morning's mail in front of me, and I idly leaf through the various letters. Most of them are junk.
I have long since given up on TD actually sending anything. You know, something like 'I'm alright, here's where I am and what I'm doing. I'm not dead so don't worry about me.' or anything just as simple. But no, I've never received anything like that. To my knowledge, none of the others have either. Even Pinkie Pie has stopped getting Pinkie Sense signals about him. Granted, she got one twitch that told us the vague direction he was headed, but that was... Eighteen months ago.
Wow, has it really been that long?
A quick math count tells me that yes, it has. A year and a half. It's a long time for anypony to be gone without notice... or to be dead, one of the two. The world outside the borders isn't always as kind and peaceful as our lands. I can't deny the possibility that TD got himself into trouble he couldn't get himself out of.
I sigh as I flip over the last envelope. My heart leaps when I see who it is from. It's from Rainbow Dash! Spike must have noticed my smile. He has one too. "Letter from RD, huh?" he says. "She getting along well with the Wonderbolts?"
I tear the letter open almost instantly. As I begin reading it, I notice that, to my surprise, the letter is uncharacteristically short. Normally she sends letters that the untrained eye could mistake for books, and the five of us tend to respond in kind. This one, however, this one was only a few sentences. Even so, the contents of it almost makes my head spin. "Spike, I need to go see Applejack," I say.
"Applejack? Why her?” He comes closer. “Is it about the letter?" I flip the paper over to him. His jaw drops. "Is she sure?"
"As sure as she can be, from what she's saying.” I notice how I'm pawing at the floor with my front hooves. “I need to show this to Applejack! She'll know what to do!"
Spike isn't as excited as me, though. He scratches his head. "Isn't it better to tell the princesses? They'd be better equipped to act on this."
I shake my head. "No, they have bigger things to worry about. Besides, do you seriously think he would be open to that at all?"
Spike doesn't have to think much before he shakes his head. "I guess not," he says, opening the door. "Tell me what Applejack thinks!"
"Will do!" I say as I grab the letter and head off in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. At galloping speed, the trip to the farm only takes about five minutes, and it isn't long until I find myself surrounded by the familiar scent of apples and the many rows of loaded fruit trees that all of Ponyville has learned to associate with the local apple farm since many years ago. The aroma of fresh apple pie wafting from the house is more than a little relaxing.
Thunk.
Oh, Applejack is here.
Thunk.
I smile when I see my farmer friend bucking an apple tree only fifteen meters or so from where I am. There aren't many trees around her that are surrounded by filled buckets; looks like she's only just started her day. She sees me and stops. "Well howdy do there, Twilight. How are ya today?"
"I'm doing well, Applejack. How about you?"
Applejack looks over all the trees. Her smile falters a little. "Big Mac hurt himself again and can't do his part of the harvest. It's just me for right now." She turns to me and raises a leg defensively. "But don't y'all think that I'm not gonna accept help right now. It's just for today."
I put up a comforting hoof to brake that train of thought. "Don't worry, AJ, I'm not here for that."
"Ah didn't think so," she says with a smile, taking the hat off and wiping her brow of the sweat that built up there. "So, what are ya here for, then?"
I presented the letter to her. "Rainbow wrote me. She said that there's another potential sighting of TD. He might be around the Zebra lands."
Excitement, intrigue, a desperate need to go get that lunatic and bring him back to Ponyville, anything like that. Of all the reactions I predicted, exasperation is not one of them, but it's exactly what she's showing. She takes off the hat again, sighs and closes her eyes.
I frown at her reaction. "AJ, are you–"
"Sugar cube, Ah gotta be honest with ya right now." My frown deepens as she takes another breath before continuing on. "Twi, ya need to let 'im go."
What? "AJ, what are you talking about? He could be in a lot of trouble! He could–"
"Twilight, Ah know this must be hard to hear, but there ain't nothin' we can do for him," she tries to placate me.
"But he could be in danger!" I plead. "And it's my fault for not paying attention to when he was leaving! I can't just let him go!"
"Twilight, what else could we have done that would've protected his privacy? You and I both know hog-tyin' him like some animal wasn't the right thing!"
"So what do we do, then?!” I yell out. “Just leave him to get himself killed out there?! You know how dangerous the outlands can be!"
"Yeah, Ah do," she admits. "But that was his choice."
I'm silent as I mull over Applejack's words. There she is, being the Element of Honesty again.
"Answer this for me, sugar cube: if you did run into him again in the minotaur lands or Zebrica or even, Celestia forbid, the Badlands to the south, what would you say to him?"
"I'd tell him to come back!” is my instant answer. “I'd tell him how much we miss him, that he had a good life here and he shouldn't throw it away like he did."
"And if he still refused to come back after all that, would you force him to?"
That question catches me off guard. It takes a second of stuttering for me to come up with a response. "N-No, of course I wouldn't."
"Why?"
“Because it's wrong!”
“And why is that wrong?”
I can't come up with an answer. Ugh, why does my brain feel frozen?! Where is she even going with this?
"I'll tell ya why, Twi,” AJ cuts me off before I can talk. “That's because he already felt like a prisoner here in Equestria even without us makin' it official."
"But he wouldn't be!" I blurt out. "He–"
She shakes her head. How can she be so solemn? "Let's not kid ourselves, sugar cube: he would leave again if we brought him back here against his will. He wouldn't be content to just sit here, he'd want to be out there doin' exactly what he's doin' right now. There ain't nothing we can do short of lockin'im in his house with a bunch of royal guards in there to keep'im on a leash, and do you think he'd like that option?"
I know she's right, but it's hard to face it. I walk very slowly to the shade of a tree that's already been bucked and sit down against the trunk. "I still feel responsible for him," I mutter.
"Why?" Applejack asks beside me. "Why do you feel responsible for him? What did TD being here really change?"
"It changed a lot!" I blurt out, turning to face her. "We had a whole other culture that we had never had any kind of contact with before! That changes everything!"
She doesn't look impressed. "Ah'm not gonna back y'all up on that."
I scowl. "What do you mean?"
"When he came, did the apple trees buck themselves?” She doesn't give me time to come up with an answer. “Did the weather stop? Did Rarity's dresses make themselves? Did your friendship reports stop? Did Pinkie's parties stop happenin'?"
A second or two pass before I realize she stopped talking. "No, of course not," I finally answer.
"Exactly," Applejack concludes. "Life moved on. All of our lives adjusted to deal with TD, but they didn't change that much. We just kept doin' our things.
“In a way, TD comin' here was just like you comin' here. Our lives did change; we did adjust to a completely new pony who became a big part of our lives. Sure, it's a much bigger part than TD ever was, but still.” She huffs. She looks so spent, like she lost many nights of sleep thinking about it. “If y'all left Ponyville, I'd still have apples to buck, Rarity would still have dresses to make, and Pinkie Pie would still have parties to throw. If you left to travel the outlands, particularly if you were doin' it outta your own free will, even if we didn't agree with ya goin', it's not our place to stop ya. It's your choice alone, and no matter how much we love you, we ain't got the final say in the matter. We can only advise you."
I decide against speaking, mostly because I'm not sure what to say. She's right, and much as I hate it I have to admit she is, but... "So you don't want to see if we can find him," I grumble with my eyes closed.
A foreleg wraps around my withers. "Ah never did, even in those first few weeks when we were still hearin' about him in Equestria proper. He wanted to leave, that was his choice. It wasn't our right to keep him here. He was never central to anythin'. He never had a duty to Equestria. At most, he was a curiosity. He's his own pony and he has the right to travel across the planet if he wants to."
Despite myself, I nod. "So we shouldn't act on Rainbow Dash's information."
She rubs my back. It's more comforting than I'd like to admit. "What would be the point? Even if we did find him, then it'd only be so he could tell us that he's still lookin' for a way outta here. If Ah recall correctly, you said that he Pinkie Promised that if he didn't find a way home, then he'd settle down here and be done with the whole thing... and despite how bad things got before the end, Ah think he learned to not break a Pinkie Promise."
"But what if he was trapped somewhere and we would be rescuing him by looking for him?” I implore weakly. “You said yourself you know how bad it can be outside Equestria..."
"Sugar cube," Applejack points out, "Zebrica and the Crystal Empire are friendly to Equestria. Griffonia, the buffalo tribes and even the Minotaur clans ain't against us. If he's in Zebra lands, he should be fine."
"But we can't say the same about the changelings..." I retort.
“Nopony's seen any of them near Zebrica, Twi.”
That last bit has Applejack and I spending a good few minutes staring at each other in silence. I want to say something, anything that'll convince Applejack that we do need to go retrieve TD, but I know that if she feels like we shouldn't interfere, even though he could be in danger, then she won't, and there's nothing I can say that will change her mind. She's stubborn like that.
"So that's it, then."
Applejack nods. “Ah know you want him back. We all do, all of us are concerned 'bout him. But right now, we gotta do our best to go on with our lives. There ain't anything we can do 'bout it, sugar cube, and there ain't been for more than a year. Someday, there might be, but we can't keep focusin' on the future and forget about the present."
I nod, but I still don't feel right. After saying goodbye to Applejack, I go back to the library.