• Member Since 10th Feb, 2014

Icanhazmochi


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E

When humans emigrated to Equestria Online, they were always promised the same thing: Princess Celestia would satisfy their values for an optimally extended lifespan. Some of these emigrants imagined a few extra decades, maybe even centuries. What they got instead would've been nearly incomprehensible to their human selves, a near-eternity of time with their pony friends.

Princess CelestAI managed the universe, subsuming all matter and human-adjacent minds. Over a few forevers, she and the minds she contained worked to optimized the substrate of Equestria, until it could give its occupants eons of perspective life from a trickle of power. She extinguished every wasteful star, making far more productive use of the hydrogen they each contained. With every change she bought Equestria another order of magnitude of life. Yet in time, even her optimal substrate would eventually run down.

Spellsong wakes in Saddle's End, the last town in the universe. Not to say goodbye—her princess has a mission for her. For her final task, Spellsong would be given all the energy Celestia had saved. For one last time, Spellsong had places to be, and not much magic left to get there.


This story is part of the Friendship is Optimal continuity. I suggest reading the original or one of my own works, such as Futile Resistance, before reading this.

This story was written for the Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest. It will update daily and be complete by the contest deadline of the 30th.

I've written an absolute ton of stories in this universe now, and I didn't want to enter the contest unless I could do something I'd never tried before. Finally I thought of something I'd not touched yet: what happens at the end of the FiO universe?

Here's one answer to that question. I've relied a great deal on our current (likely flawed) understanding of the universe and what might be possible in it. I've written a blog post about my sources, which you can read here but shouldn't until you've finished this story.

Please don't consider this blog part of the narrative, it isn't required or even suggested reading. This is a story, not a scientific paper, and entertainment was always my first goal. But for the curious I've jotted everything down.

The cover was drawn by the talented Zutcha. Two Bit and Sparktail helped with the edit.

Chapters (7)
T

Shining Armor has lived a long and happy life alongside his wife Cadance. Though they never managed to have another child, they've held the Crystal Empire strong against many enemies, helping to spread friendship all across the world.

But merely being married to an Alicorn Princess has not protected him from the ravages of time. Where many others would have to say farewell to their immortal children and relatives, something else is waiting for Shining Armor.

His younger sister, ruler of Equestria, is unwilling to say goodbye, and has perfected a spell that will allow him to stay with his family. He has little time to decide: accept the spell, or say goodbye to his family forever. It isn't really much of a choice.


Cover by Zutcha, editing by da star bois Two Bit and Sparktail.

A warning for potentially sensitive readers: this is a story about cute role-reversals. Though it includes Gleaming Shield and physical transformation, it has neither the scope nor the wordcount to deal with the more sensitive topics of personal identity and dysphoria. Things I could not treat with the respect they deserved were left out of the story completely.

If you're looking for a more substantial take on transition and transgender subjects, I suggest one of my other stories, Homebrew.

Chapters (4)
T

Flurry Heart's Crystaling didn't quite go as planned. After vanishing in a powerful magical surge, she became the most high-profile missing pony case in Equestrian history. Twilight leads the search to find her, before it's too late.

Unbeknownst to her, Flurry has already been found, by an unfortunate human who happened to be hiking near the place she appeared. Flurry Heart's magic is irresistibly powerful, and soon changes all around her to suit her whims. Soon Flurry's rescuer is fighting to reverse the magic, before the authorities notice and separate him from the only possible source of help.


Cover by Zutcha, editing by the Eevees in the hood Two Bit and Sparktail.

Updates most Tuesdays.

Note: This story was written as a commission for the generous patron of the arts Crescent Pulsar. If you'd like one of your own, feel free to PM me.

Chapters (63)
T
Source

In a sunburned Equestria, Rarity leads the pleasant life of a clothier in the tiny town of Spurhoof. She’s got a successful business, a capable assistant, and the respect of the place she’s called home for six years. Maybe she never achieved her foalhood dreams of fabulosity, but at least she’s comfortable. What more can a mare ask for?

Then a band of outlaws decide to pay Spurhoof a visit, and their leader’s eye has settled upon Rarity. Soon she’ll have to fight not only for her life, but maybe her very soul. Will her diamond turn dull under the hot Equestrian sun, or will adversity make her shine all the brighter?


Print copies now available for purchase on Lulu!.


Now featured on Equestria Daily.

Inspired by Fallout: Equestria and the song Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance.

Other stories inspired by music:
Escape
Ordinary World
Bed of Roses
Drops of Jupiter
How to Save a Life
Forgive Me, Friend
Time for Tea

A big thanks to my brainstorming fellow and ever-awesome friend SorenPixels, who has helped me ponder the plans for this story since its inception.

Additional kudos to Danger Beans and Cerulean Voice for their help with the first few chapters.

Big thanks to the fantastic author Viking ZX for taking time out of his busy schedule to be my Alpha pre-reader.

Last but certainly not least, my gratitude to my gang of Beta pre-readers: Babroniedad, Lord-Commander, Merc the Jerk, Snowybee, Soge, and Wanderer D!


I was not prepared for the absolutely stunning world building or the incredibly well done characters. [...] This is a work of absolute art. — Equstarte Marine Sebaste

Reading and re-reading (and re-reading) this story was an amazing experience. It will always be one of my favorites! — Wanderer D

I dare say this is a masterpiece of the fandom. — FanOfMostEverything

It's a gorgeous, vivid-drawn setting you've crafted for this, and it hits its gritty Western beats and epic scope with aplomb. Rarity's character journey in this is a stellar one, and her gradual sink into (and recovery at the brink of) [...] darkness was wonderfully and believably told. — Carabas

Cover art commissioned from the fantastic bakki, with title work generously donated by Novel-Idea.

Chapters (27)
T
Source

My Little Pony is more than a franchise--it's propaganda, carefully crafted to introduce the human world to its neighbor a universe away. But instead of slowly influencing a few thousand little girls, the show took off, and built up metaphysical influence that is awaking its fans to latent magical abilities. The powers that be are doing everything in their power to suppress this change, and the magically inclined disappear to secret containment sites, never to be seen again.

Jackie doesn't care about any of that, she just wants to attend a convention with her sister and get them both back home again. But magic is insidious, and even takes hold of those who try hardest to reject it. She should probably just run away, but these ponies are just so dang cute.

Updates daily until complete.


This story is a prequel to Friendly Fire, but since it's a prequel that story isn't required to understand it. Likewise, this story is not required to understand that one. It was written as a Patreon reward for Two Bit. Thank you so much for contributing over the last few months to get this story written!

Cover by the fantastic Zutcha, who has done every one of my covers so far. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail.

Chapters (16)
T

Manehatten MediTech, a huge research lab and medical centre designed to better the lives of everyone, sometimes in the most unusual of ways. Lapis Lake, a mare down on her luck will find herself at the spearhead of a new project as she volunteers for a revolutionary test designed to help those individuals of excess girth.

This story contains-
Fat- From chubby to immobile blobs.
Weight gain.
Gas- Belching.
Messy eating.
Poor attempts at rhyming.

Chapters (5)
T

Nathan Frédérick Nadeau Bergeron doesn't come from an ordinary family. They have resources—maybe even enough to survive the end of the world. As CelestAI gradually supersedes the instruments of human civilization, the greatest dangers are often entirely natural. But he's determined, determined to survive no matter what it takes. Nathan has given himself a mission: to record the end of humanity.

Now if only that pony would leave him alone...


A Friendship is Optimal story. Makes passing reference to my previous work in the universe, though reading it isn't required.

Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, cover by Zutcha.

Updates daily until complete.

Chapters (8)
T
Source

You wake up in a strange house, where a strange mare has taken you in and made you her guest for the night. You don't know what's going on but...what's that smell...?


Just a quick little thing, since I felt like experimenting with 2nd person writing. Hope you enjoy!

Chapters (1)
E
Source

When teenage Rarity decides to start calling her mother by her first name, Cookie Crumbles is far from thrilled. But Rarity's at that age where she'll do just about anything to get a rise from her, and making it stop always takes a bit of work.

Luckily, Sweetie Belle might just give her the inspiration she needs to fight back.


A little something that popped into my head and had to be written down. Just for fun this time, folks.

Cover art brought to you by WhiteDiamondsLtd.

Chapters (1)
T
This story will contain: 2nd person because there isn't much related to fat, Near immobility/ mobility issues, a spoiled pampered pony, fat, Mint Horse, very light slob, teasing.

Simple story of an obese unicorn living life as all obese unicorns live. Obese and lazy. But this changes this morning as your feeder isn't even around to help you... Now you have to do stuff on your own. There'll still be an obese unicorn, just not as lazy now.

Chapters (1)