• Member Since 16th May, 2013
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PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords and reviews. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

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Rainbow Dash is willing to make a lot of sacrifices for her oldest and best friend. Some of them are less a sacrifice than she lets on. But it's cool. Fluttershy's cool. As long as nobody else notices...


A little something that popped into my head and demanded to be written. Done with minimal editing. I was going to use it as an entry in the Writeoff's "I Prefer Not To" contest, but missed the deadline.

Cover art by ILACAVGBMJC. Used with permission.

Now with a YouTube reading courtesy of Never-After-All-Readings.

Other stories inspired by music:
Ordinary World
Bed of Roses
Escape
How to Save a Life
Bulletproof Heart
Drops of Jupiter

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

Nice. I was honestly expecting Rainbow to leave, but hey! That was a nice turn of events. ^u^

God I wish more people would just let Rainbow not be such a damn child about her "reputation"; she was almost doing it here, but nice to see she can be mature sometimes. :eeyup:

I love flutterdash, even non-romance, where they have some deeper aspect of their relationship. Some aspect or activity that it's just between them. Thus this story was like a perfect little snack for me. I'd of liked this as a small part to a much larger story, but it's still perfectly sweet as it is.

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I tend to believe the show really gave Rainbow the short end of the stick. She's has plenty of opportunities for growth, but they just kept pushing her back to the same loud, obnoxious, immature role. Out of all the Mane 6, I feel she was the one that grew the least, and I don't think that has anything to do with her.

An absolutely excellent story. I've always like the Rainbow Dash - Fluttershy relationship, and I feel like your story really captured their interplay nicely. I love the idea that they have a tea time where they can just be themselves, free from judgement of others. This shows a really well developed and mature relationship between the two, a deeply trusting one. I love it!

A lovely character snapshot that says volumes about Dash and her relationship with Fluttershy. And just how terribly Sunset hurt the others when she broke them up. There's a lot wrapped in this kiloword. Well done.

... Wait. This is literally a thousand words based on a picture. You sly dog.

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As much as I'd love to claim credit for that, the truth is the story came before the picture. Or rather, the concept of it. I found the picture later and modified the story slightly in order to make the picture relate to it.

This was an utterly delightful little story. :pinkiesmile: It made for a surprisingly thoughtful and deep look into Rainbow and Fluttershy's characters. :yay:

That ending was definitely sweet, as was the fic in general, but I kinda wish it was just a BIT longer.

Interesting headcannon to how they met.

Been getting more and more into your reviews as of late, and realized I've never actually read any of your stories. Figured I should remedy that. I also want to get into the habit of commenting more, as well as try and get better at formulating critical thoughts on stories, so hey! Three birds with one stone. Found your shortest one, somewhat because I'm partial to oneshots, but mainly because I need to be in a class in like 10 minutes. :rainbowderp:
Many of my least favourite RD moments in the show revolved around her disdain for so-called 'girly' activities. One thing that I've always appreciated about MLP is that it very rarely used that term, instead demonstrating that things such tea parties and dresses don't have to follow a label such as 'girly' and can be just enjoyed purely on whether or not the individual finds worth in them, regardless of society's expectations.
I suppose because of that, I was hesitant going into this one. But I was delighted to see it morph into Rainbow allowing herself to explore that side of her with those she trusts (rather than immediately assume judgement, looking at you, Applejack's "Day" Off :trixieshiftright:). Allowing RD to take the first steps to allowing herself to breathe and enjoy girly things is something I don't see enough in fic, so bravo, sir.
On top of that, this short story combines many of my favourite story things: mundane slice-of-life, emotional moments told entirely through expressions, and meaningful FlutterDash friendship. As well as EqG origin stories, we need more of those.
Should I have things to criticise? Part of me feels like I should, as I know constructive criticism is valuable (I am commenting under the reviewer-man himself after all). I don't think I tend to look for those sort of things anyway. I just want to enjoy the ride. In lieu of meaningful discussion, please accept my genuine thanks for bringing this story into the world. It was a joy to read. :twilightsmile:
I recently ordered all 3 of your books on Lulu. This was a bit of blind faith, as again, I had not read any of your stories prior to a few minutes ago, but I have always sincerely appreciated your reviews and wanted to show a token of support. After reading this, I am thoroughly looking forward to their arrival. Now, I gotta go not speak for 2 hours and bumble my way through learning sign language. See you on Thursday.

~Ciao, thank you again,
NumberFifth

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I appreciate the commentary! If you want even shorter stories, you can check out Paul's Peculiarly Puny Practice Pieces, which is nothing but a bunch of unconnected stories even shorter than this one. You might also try What Lies in a Moment, which is also a short story anthology, although it's a group effort so most aren't written by me.

Don't worry if you don't have any criticisms to offer. Sometimes one of the hardest parts of reviewing good stories is, in fact, finding something to criticize.

Glad to hear you got my books! And I hope you enjoy them, because it would suck to spend all that money of books you end up not liking.

I imagine the next few min were Rarity fainting and/or asking if Rainbow Dash had suffered some form of selective memory loss.

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