Anon's dead, apparently, and Death has come to claim his soul. There's just one problem: he doesn't want to go. And there's nothing Death can do to make him.

Hi. I’m Anon. Your run of the mill asshole. A proud one at that. When I came to this world, the princesses didn’t expect much. Then, they saw how I was good at picking up mistakes. So, they made me a functioning person in society. A mostly pony society. Ponies and other creature would be expecting to be welcomed by a warm hearted pony. Instead, they got me.

(Papers Please does not belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex)

Cover Art by me.
Here’s the sequel. People like it for some reason.

An ancient law of Canterlot states that each species present within the city must have an adequate diplomatic representation. There are no exemptions from it, even as far as interdimensionals aliens are concerned. As such, Anonymous the Human must pick up the mantle of an ambassador for humanity, even if he is the sole specimen. Even if he doesn't want to.

But it's not all bad news for him. After all, with such a responsibility also come some privileges. Personal guard detail, generous private mansion, all expenses covered by the crown. And of course, diplomatic immunity. Only that, thanks to the pony magic, the word immunity is taken much more seriously in Equestria.

Proofread by Havana

Humans aren't nearly as robust as ponies. Simple gestures such as hugs, pats on the back, and hoof bumps are all well and fine when it's another pony on the receiving end. With a creature a fraction of their mass, ponies often forget how fragile others can be.

A man reflects on his fragility during a routine checkup, and realizes that he might not be the only one affected by simple actions one might take for granted.

An audio reading has been done by the illustrious Illya Leonov.

In the alternate timeline where Sombra was not stopped, a human finds himself suddenly in Sombra's body... just after the dread tyrant has conquered Equestria. Now trapped in a world where just about everyone hates him, he must try to keep up the illusion that he is the villainous conqueror, while at the same time try to win over his new subjects.

However, this will not be so simple, as the real Sombra is not quite dead... and he is most definitely not happy.

Part of The Ocean Of Time series.

In a world where ponies and humans coexist in what can hardly be classified as harmony, Canterlot's daily regime is interrupted when one of these controversial creatures falls out of the sky and, to his surprise, doesn't die. This man seems to be the same as the rest, and calls himself "George Trestale". However, through a complete accident, George discovers he's developed magical abilities far beyond anything he could imagine. Unfortunately for him, almost none of them work correctly, and on top of that, he has no idea who he is or where he came from.

Thinking himself to be a god, and wanted by Celestia on the sole pretense of being human, our main character is tasked with running from the authorities, finding out what sort of power he's supposed to have, and most importantly, discovering who on earth he even is. Such begins the story of George Trestale, the unluckiest "god" in Equestria.

Rated Teen for some violence and language.

~ Edit From the Future! ~
This was my first remotely successful story, and as a result it's not exactly all that good, nor is it representative of my current writing ability. You can of course read it if you want, just expect things to be somewhat sloppily executed.

Taking a vacation in a nice relaxing and peaceful country? That's good.
Taking a vacation and being blamed for the the theft of some very important jewelry? That's bad.
Taking a vacation and becoming public enemy number one? That's really bad.
Taking a vacation and being hunted by adorable pegasi, unicorns, and ponies? That's... different.

A mage decides to take a respite in what he assumes to be the peaceful and safe land of Equestria. Unfortunately he's accused of stealing the "Elements of Harmony", a powerful set of magical regalia, and goes on the run from the law. Now stuck in a land of magical ponies, cut off from his only way home, and now the most wanted creature in Equestria, does he have any hope of proving his innocence and going home?

Maybe, but let's laugh at him as he gets beat up by cute equines!

This is your typical, stereotypical HIE story exposing all the HIE stereotypes, but like, compressed and crammed into one short chapter, making the pacing extremely awkward and fast. Yeah that's pretty much it.

*Disclaimer, I don't hate HIE stories, I actually love them. Don't sue me. Also, I'm so sorry for this.*

Big thanks to Flutterpriest for the narration! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z_Tb9JOfjQ!

This got featured on 9-26-2016... Why? I have no clue, but thanks!

Anon shaves his head. The ponies think he has cancer. What could possibly happen?

Edited/Proofread by Enigmatic Otaku and Vylon

Narrated by Straight To The Point Studio

Getting sucked into a land of talking ponies was the last thing Ethan expected...or wanted. Now faced with the task of trying to fit in, difficult questions will arise. Where am I? How can I get home? And did I leave the oven on...

Meanwhile, the mane six are preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration when a mysterious pony appears claiming to be from another world. Is he crazy or is there something big going on? What will happen to the land of Equestria? (Not a crossover)