As the train pulled into Ponyville, all I could do was watch as I was gradually brought into the view of every pony near the train station. Them staring at me, and me staring back, I just clung to the roof of the train until it came to a stop.
Well, what matters is that Twilight doesn't know I'm there. After ponies started getting off the train, I jumped off the side not facing the train station. Watching the other side of the train between two cars, I saw Twilight and Spike among the others, backs thankfully turned to me. I quickly ducked behind a car, contemplating what to do now.
Hmm... Now that I'm at a train station, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a train schedule in there. But I can't just run in there and grab it in broad daylight. I'm going to need to wait until nighttime, since it'll probably be closed then. So, for now, I need to lay low.
But how the hell am I going to do that? I am currently behind the one thing keeping Twilight from spotting me, and I'm fairly sure a bunch of ponies saw me on top of the train. It's only a matter of time until she is either told I'm here, or she sees me herself. This is not going to be easy at all.
After about ten minutes of thinking, I figured something out. All I need to do is get back on the train, ride it back out of Ponyville, wait until nighttime, and then sneak back into town. It's genius! Unfortunately, just as I came up with this plan, I noticed the train had begun pulling out of Ponyville again.
"Shit!" As the train passed me, I looked for something to grab on to. In a split second, the railing on the back of the train's caboose caught my eye. I quickly reached out and grabbed it. Bad mistake.
The train had now considerably sped up, and so, rather than being able to pull myself onto the train like I had intended, I was now being dragged behind it on the tracks.
"Agh- ugh- ow- fuck- me-" I said, hitting each individual sleeper as I was pulled behind the train. Putting in all my upper body strength, I managed to get another hand on the railing and pull myself up and over the railing, falling onto the platform. Thinking myself to be safe, I got up and looked out at Ponyville. It's a nice looking town, for sure. A weird choice to have a giant crystal castle in the middle of it, though. It really contrasts with the rest of the place.
As I contemplated the possibility of giving the inhabitants of the town some aesthetic advice, I heard something in the car. Looking in through the door's window, I saw a pony collecting tickets from the others on board. I quickly ducked out of the way of the window and climbed onto the roof of the train. Looking down at the platform, I saw the ticket-collector pony open the door to the platform, look around for a moment, and go back inside.
Mentally celebrating my small victory, I stood myself up only to promptly be slammed into the side of a hill, the train now passing through a tunnel.
"Aaaaaagh..." I said, apparently stuck to the side of the hill while the train passed under me. I quickly fell to the ground and got up again, dazed.
"Yeah, that's every bit as painful as I'd expect."
Looking around, I caught Ponyville in the distance. Alright, I'm a good ways away now. Now to wait. I walked over to another part of the hill and sat down.
Yep. Juuuuuuust wait.
Boringly.
Man, it's times like these I wish I had time trav-
~Sudden transition to several hours later!~
After it became sufficiently dark, I had started making my way towards the town. I was very close now, the train station being the first thing in my mind. I just had to avoid the eye of anyone who could potentially be out on the streets.
At the point of me arriving at the town, I noticed something. The train station isn't closed. All of its lights are on. Shit, that's not good. Well, I guess I can just wait until it does close. I mean, it has to close sometime, right?
...Oh, screw that, I'm not that patient.
I quickly ran over to the train station, out of the view of any windows. Now up against one of its walls, I thought about how I was going to get in. I'm not gonna go in there and just snap the teller pony's neck or something. I can't handle my reputation getting any worse. I snuck under the ticket buying window and went over to the door. Only one way to do this, I guess. I'll have to try and intimidate him into giving me a schedule.
Hey, don't laugh. I'd say those ponies in Canterlot were real damn intimidated!
Quickly forming a basic plan of this in my head, I quickly turned the door handle, only to find that it was locked. Damn it! How am I supposed to get in there now?!
I quickly decided on the one thing that's both failed and worked for me in the past: teleportation. I stood back from the door, waved my arm to the right, and... appeared in an adjacent house's bathroom. I looked at the bathtub and noticed a pony in there behind the curtains, taking a shower.
Apparently, they heard me, as they, or, in this case, a rather burly-looking male pony, opened the curtains and quickly let out an ear-screechingly girly scream.
Desperate to free my ears of this assault on the senses, I teleported myself out of the house. Running back to my original position at the train station, I tried again, this time appearing on the roof of the station.
"I'm getting real tired of your shit, broken-ass powers..." I waved my arm one more time, this time appearing about 20 feet above the roof.
Okay, first off, I had no idea I could teleport that far. Second off, shit.
Falling quickly and certainly not screaming, I crashed through the roof of the train station and fell face-down onto the floor, surrounded by splinters and other broken materials. Attempting to save some face, I remembered the intimidation tactic and scrambled to my feet.
"Wassup, motherf..." My opening line was cut short upon the sudden realization that no one was in here. Are you telling me they seriously just leave the lights on when it's closed? God damn it, I could have just picked the lock or something if no one was here in the first place. And there is no way that nobody heard me crash through the roof. I could have ponies on me at any second. I quickly started looking around for a schedule in various drawers and on various shelves.
Suddenly, my eye was caught by a certain beam of moonlight created by the hole in the ceiling, focused directly on a pile of pamphlets on the desk. I swear, I heard a chorus of angels or something when I saw it. Running over to the pamphlets and grabbing one, I saw the train's schedule for the next entire month. Damn, these ponies really plan ahead. I shoved the pamphlet into my suit pocket, and looked at the window. I quickly noticed that the pile of pamphlets are next to an opening on the window where you can just reach in and grab one.
Fucking fuck. I am not good at observation. But whatever. I waved my arm to the right again and appeared outside of the train station, only to be faced with a good many ponies, some of them just now coming out of their houses. I quickly caught the eye of every single one of them.
"Hey, it's that human Twilight warned us about!" said one elderly pony holding a lantern.
"Someone go tell her!" said another. "The rest of us'll try and capture him!"
Wait, did I hear that right? When did these ponies become all brave?!
"Yeah! We can do it if we work together!" said another pony. I started stepping back slowly.
"Attack!" cried yet another. Yeah, that sparked it.
"Shiiiiiiiit!" I quickly spun on my heels and ran from them, darting behind a house. They all came after me. The chase that ensued here, well, it can only really be described by being accompanied with Yakety Sax.
After a lot of dashing between houses, being chased, me somehow chasing them at one point, and even one point where I accidentally joined them in chasing after me, I managed to lose them by hiding in a trash can. Not the cleanest of strategies, but it worked. Now that the coast is clear, I need to get the holy hell out of here before Twilight gets word of me being here. I quickly tried to get out of the trashcan, instead falling over inside it and knocking over several others.
"Hey, did you hear that?" a voice in the distance said. Shit. I quickly crawled out of the trash can, now covered in various pieces of garbage. God, my suit is not going to survive much more of this. I quickly ran out of the town, not stopping until I was a good distance away. Panting, I sat down on the grass.
"Well, that was fun." I took the train schedule out of my suit pocket and looked at it. Alright, when's the next train that'll bring me closer to Anthropia? Let's see, that would be... a week from now?!
I jumped to my feet, threw the schedule to the ground, and cried out to the heavens.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"