"...So, what yer tellin' us is that at one point today, y'all just randomly fell out of the sky, met Twilight and Princess Celestia, accidentally blew up a window, got yerself thrown into jail, suddenly appeared outside of the jail fer no reason, got spears thrown at you by guards, and then you fell off Canterlot?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it." I crossed my arms, sitting down on the ground.
"What kinda story is that?!" said Rainbow, dumbfounded. "That all sounds like you just made it up on the spot!"
"You know, sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to explain things."
"Don't try to act all innocent!"
Applejack suddenly interjected. "Rainbow, I'm just as doubtful of this guy's fairytale as you are. But we can't jump to conclusions just yet."
She looked to me again. "Are, uh, ya sure that's exactly how everythin' went?"
"It's a very cut-down version, but it's all true."
"So, what about how ya survived falling off Canterlot? That and the sky, for that matter."
"Oh, that. Well, you see, it turns out I'm immortal!" I jumped to my feet and puffed out my chest. "Nothing can kill me, and all injuries heal in a matter of seconds! You have no idea how painful that is, by the way."
This time, the two just laughed.
"Immortal?! Now you're tellin' us you're immortal? That's just plumb crazy!"
Great. Now I need a way of proving myself. Hm, there's a nail lying on the ground... This will probably hurt a lot, but I guess it'll be worth it.
"Oh, really? How ridiculous is this?" I grabbed the nail and held it in the air.
"Hey!" said Rainbow, jumping into the air. "Put that down!"
"No thanks!" I promptly drove the three-inch nail into the side of my head, much to the shock of the two ponies.
I think I really underestimated how painful that would be.
"Aaaaaagh!" I promptly yanked the nail back out, only causing the pain to intensify. Applejack and Rainbow looked a bit sick.
"Holy crap, that hurts like a bitch!" I immediately fell onto the ground and yelled some more for a few seconds, until I felt the hole fuse shut again, and the pain was gone.
"Phew," I said. I got up again, showing them the side of my head. "See? Good as new."
"Woah!" said Rainbow. "That... is so... cool, I think?" Rainbow walked over to look at my head.
"I... don't understand. He was tellin' the truth?" Applejack looked dumbfounded beyond belief.
"Wow, it's like nothing happened to it! Can you do it again?" Rainbow, meanwhile, was clearly very excited.
"Yeah, no." One of these days I need to see if I can also turn off pain.
"So, uh, I guess that settles it, then, more or less," said Applejack. "I gotta say, I'm still kinda skeptical on yer story, but if you've got weird immortality powers like ya say, then I guess that does give ya some credit. Somehow."
"Finally, I've convinced someone of the truth! That's a first for today."
"I'll admit, ya seem like an alright fellow to me, more or less. But, you bein' a human, y'all should probably get back to Anthropia before somepony else finds out yer here."
"An...thropia?" Why does that name want me to stab myself again?
"Anthropia's that human kingdom somewhere outside Equestria," said Rainbow. I kept my blank expression.
"Let me guess," said Applejack. "Y'all have no idea where that place is?"
"Not a clue."
"Well, we can't help ya there. We don't know either. They're awful secretive of where they are."
"So nobody in Equestria knows where they are?"
"Not as far as we know."
"Great. Fantastic. So I'm stuck in a country with an entire race that's out to get me."
"Well, hey, look on the bright side," said Rainbow. She stopped for a second. "There... isn't really a bright side to this, is there?"
"Not even close," I said.
Suddenly, I heard a knock on the barn door. Applejack walked over and peeked outside, then promptly shut the door and looked back to us.
"Oh horseapples, Pinkie Pie's here. George, go hide under somethin', quick!" I had no idea who that was, but I wasn't about to question her. I ran around looking for something to hide under, but Rainbow quickly grabbed a pile of hay and buried me under it.
"Hi, Applejack!" a sickeningly high-pitched voice said.
"Oh, uh... hi, Pinkie. What brings y'all here?"
"My Pinkie Sense told me there was somepony new in Ponyville, and I've been looking around the whole town for him! So, care if I look in your barn real quick?"
"No! Uh, I mean, yes, I do mind... see, we're, uh, doin' renovations. It ain't safe in here, so y'all can't come in. Sorry."
"But I neeeeeeed to! If I can't find them, my tail's gonna twitch my lunch right out of me!"
"I- Uh. Ew. Look, no need ta worry, Pinkie. There ain't no humans in he-" She stopped herself.
"Oh, for tha love of-"
"A HUMAN?!" Pinkie zoomed past Applejack into the barn, somehow instantly knowing where I was. She stopped right in front of me and brushed the hay off, revealing my head.
"Oh. Hi." I couldn't think of much else to say.
"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! You and Rainbow made friends with a human?!"
"Er, well, that's not completely-"
"That's GREAT! This is a landmark in Pinkie party history!" Pinkie took a kazoo out of nowhere and blew a celebration tune in my face. "This is the perfect opportunity for my first ever party for a human!"
"P-Party?" I squeaked out.
"Humans can eat cake, right? Oh, of course they can. Who couldn't eat cake? Except if somepony was allergic to it, but that'd be really sad. Anyway, I need to go get ready for my biggest party yet! A human party!" Pinkie zoomed out the door as fast as she had zoomed in.
"Just... what the hell was that?!" I got up out of the hay pile and brushed myself off.
"That's Pinkie Pie, resident party animal," said Rainbow. "Looks like you're her next victim."
"This ain't good," said Applejack. "At least half the town always ends up comin' to Pinkie's parties. She's basically gonna be tellin' the whole darn town that you're here."
"Well, that's simple. I just won't go, then."
"I'm afraid it ain't that simple, George. When Pinkie throws somepony a welcome party, she makes darn sure they come."
"Yeah," said Rainbow. "There's no escaping from a Pinkie Pie party."
"Oh, come on, she's just one pony. How hard could it be to avoid her?"
"Oh, you have no idea," said Rainbow.
"Yer welcome to try and escape, but don't count on her not findin' ya. She'll get ya there one way or another unless you can convince her to hold off on it."
"Actually, that sounds a little scary," I said.
"Speaking from experience here," Rainbow replied. "It is."
"Well, in that case, I'll try and get a head start. I'll be going, then."
"Yeah, good luck. You're gonna need it."
I left the barn and ran off through the apple orchards, towards the nearest mountains. Oh, if only I knew what I was getting myself into.